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chapter vi ; ❝it's hard for me to let you go.❞
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you grabbed the last bowl of mashed potatoes and 'great value' water from chef who awards you with a concise, short nod, enabling you to smile halfheartedly in return.
you stop blindly in place, trying to make a quick decision on where you should take a seat at.
tyler - already having his optical seers on you - hops up from his seat, throwing up an outstretched hand to wave you over beside his and bridgette's places on-the-spot.
a modest grin breaks out on your face, slowly approaching the killer bass table, but you terminate your tracks when you subsequently notice how the jock was situated right across from the green-haired man you were currently in fear of.
not even a beat later, leshawna twirls around in her chair, noticing your minimal movement and internal conflict, then nudges with her head to the empty spot between herself and justin.
you teeter your body in either direction, contemplating your choices before sending a sorrowful look to tyler, then going to sit beside the gregarious girl with the pale-gold hoops and the god-like, hawaiian male model.
"good choice, friend." heather snickered, now sitting directly across from you; she cunningly sneaks her black and raspberry-colored beach wedges amongst your upper legs - just barely rubbing against them.
lindsay giggled knowingly along, bumping her elbow jocularly adjacent to heather's, who responds quite positively to the act. this randomly generates beth to burst into a fit too, matching lindsay's energy in an attempt of 'follow the leader'.
you scoot your seat back innocently, giving heather more legroom - not realizing the rhyme-or-reason behind her advancements - as you chuckle cumbersomely at the inherently-sensual interaction.
inspecting the two next to you, justin shows off his signature sparkling white smile unknowingly, whilst leshawna lightly scoffs, picking up onto the female manipulator's actions.
"so, how was being on the killer bass side?" leshawna starts up some small talk, not being able to handle much more of the chewing asmr she was receiving from all angles of the table (specifically owen from a few seats away), on top of cody's neverending flirting that was currently being used on almost every chick in his team.
you pop a spoonful of potato in your mouth as she asks this question, using it as an excuse to buy you some time on how to answer it.
scrunching your face at the weirdly strong alcoholic taste, you swallow, pulling the metal utensil out from between your lips. "um... well, dj's always super sweet!"
leshawna and lindsay nod approvingly at the exclamation, still focusing on you while they await for a more extended description.
"and, uh, bridgette and geoff seem really cool; they also seem to be getting really close. i wish i got to talk to them more." you churn your spoon around the innermost edge of the bowl, gathering more food to soon shovel into your mouth. "katie and sadie are... alright? sometimes they can be too overbearing, but i guess they have sweet, pure intentions... so i like them!"
you smize charismatically, shaking your head up and down as confirmation to your outspoken opinions before gwen adds herself into the conversation, saving herself from any more of 'playboy' cody.
"i saw you fighting with eva on the way to the first challenge." the gothic personality confesses, sticking her head out from behind the shorter queen.
"we even saw her pick you up over her shoulder too!" beth cuts in, sticking her thumb out to the two mean-girl, best-friend tropes to her left.
"must've been so scary..." heather voices her presumption, unscrewing the cap to her water bottle, holding the plastic before her lips, about to drink. "i'd hate to have her manhands on me."
"true!" lindsay smiles to the dictatorial-half, shrugging as she feigns naiveté. "so, how was she? tell us!"
"well, she was actually... great! i mean- mean, of course... but great!" you honestly had no idea how to describe the muscular woman; she had a great taste in music?! but, besides that one interaction, the two of you didn't really share much more words - just bathed in the morning rays together, listening to her alternative/indie mixed playlist.
they each give you a strange look, even earning cody's blueish-teal eyes, after having heard you speak at least a bit highly of the well-known intimidator.
"does anyone from the killer bass..." thankfully - but not-so-thankfully - the alluring voice to your left finds the will to speak up; everyone becoming instantly enchanted by the owner. "...catch your eye?"
justin simpers sweetly down to you, his brownish-black bangs casting a shadow over his face nicely.
"mm'i don't know..." you pause, lowering your own e/c eyes to your multicoloured ceramic bowl, and biting your lip contemplating what's been asked. "i don't know any of them personally yet."
"are you, like... a demogorgon?" lindsay genuinely quizzes, then slaps a hand over her pretty little mouth, knitting her eyebrows together. "oh my god-! i'm so sorry! i didn't mean to assume your sexuality!"
"do you mean demi... sexual?" gwen intrudes jokingly, now resting her elbow on the table, and watches as she rotates her wrist out of boredom.
"i just... like what i like, i guess." you answer vaguely yet truthfully with a composed composure - shrugging indifferent to the term, despite feeling the weight of everyone's attention.
the conversation ends there when katie's voice reverberates off the wooden walls of the cabin.
she scans around, ensuring that she's speaking in secrecy (except not at all), then turns to sadie and bridgette. "so- uh, what do we do now?"
"we have to figure out who we're gonna vote off." courtney answers quite blandly, though somehow with urgency given that one of them would be off the island in just a few hours.
"well," duncan starts, smirking for a split second before returning to his cocky yet bored demeanor. "i think it should be princess, or the brick house here." he jams both of his long, slender thumbs towards the two with the chicken hats on either side of him.
"what?!" courtney scoots her stool back, avoiding the pierced emo's touch after he dismantles her character. "why?"
the mohawked prison escapee leans back on his chair, crossing his arm over one another, and settles his eyes closed in mock-comfortability. "because, unless i'm mistaken, you two are the only ones here wearing chicken hats."
the bobbed-haired girl straightens her back from this, squinting her eyes - or eye - at the coined bad boy.
"and if we ever have to lift a truck..." he opens his eyes and stares up to the gigantic teddy bear on his right, unfolding his arms and gestures his thumb back to the boy's shoulder. "...i like our odds with the big guy."
this causes a wide, wholesome smile to emerge on the jamaican man's features who taps his feet with delight. on the other hand, courtney's mouth flies ajar, her effort at an attack with a threatening glare dissipates as her waning crescents widen to a full moon.
as she processes his words, a violent reaction forms at the scene, her arms flying into the air and her volume breaches past 100%. "y-y-you guys need me! i-i'm the only one-"
"-we know!" the entire population of their team combat in unison, muting courtney for at least a few more seconds.
"you used to be, 'a real c.i.t.'" bridgette leans her folded arms onto the cafeteria table and rolls her lime-green eyes, requoting the perfectionist. "so, who would you pick?"
courtney takes a gander at all her teammates in a haste to save herself, pointing to a tyler who wasn't entirely paying attention to the conversation. "what about... him!?"
in a frantic, lindsay launches up from her wooden stool, catching everyone off guard by the sound of metal clanks and bowls being dropped, shrieking as she holds her arms up with closed fists in the air. "no!"
everyone invested in their own previous conversations were now engrossed in the relationship between the blonde and the brunette who's - by the way - ears, that are on display from behind his university's sweatband, are flushed with embarrassment.
"d'eugh- i-i mean, no... s-salt!" she slouches fully back in her seat in order to hide from everyone's gaze, staring up at heather for help. "t-there's no salt, on the table... bummer."
duncan redirects all the attention back onto him, continuing the dialogue from where it left off. "hey, at least he jumped off the cliff, chicken wing."
"shut it!" courtney stands from her spot, taking her finished bowl back up to the open half wall's counter dividing the kitchen to the dining room...
...but not before slapping the back of duncan's head in the process.
"okay, let's just chill out." geoff moves himself between the girl and boy before duncan could do anything else about the assault. "this is getting waayy... too heavy."
"i've had enough prison food for one day." the green-and-black haired delinquent gets up to leave, digging in his pocket, grabbing his steel zippo lighter, pushing past 'the funniest guy around'. "i'm gonna go have a nap."
duncan ditches his dish, ignoring courtney's pleas to stay as she gives his bowl away to chef for him. his monobrow does a little dance when he notices you at the gopher table to his dismay, before clenching his teeth, and slamming the screendoor right behind him.
noah and cody, who were making their way to throw their bowls away, jerked from the ear-deafening action.
"tsk- pincushion needs to handle his urges!" noah sassily stops in his tracks, pursing his lips pretending to smoke an imaginary cigarrette, and puffing out the fake carcinogens into the air.
you laugh widely at the impersonation of your friend, shoving a knuckle in your mouth, and biting down on it. this causes noah to peer back at you, returning to walk to the café bar, and smirk at your specific reaction to his little quip.
"well, i just don't get why we lost, aye?" ezekiel does a little shoulder-shrug, reaching one of his hands up from his overlapping arms to pinch and pull at his nose. "they're the ones that have six girls."
noah, cody, and now owen and harold, standstill after hearing their fellow geek's differing ideology and belief system, shocked at the boldness and blatantness of his tone of voice.
the matching she-twins perched in front of the apparent-bigot inhale a large amount of air at this, instinctively grabbing each other's hands in terror.
eva climbs over the table from her seat and to the other side in front of the beanie-boy, as bridgette brushes past geoff who's - for some reason - still hovering around duncan's seat and raises a fist in front of the country boy's very eyes.
"what's that supposed to mean?"
"yeah, drop-out..." eva slams her closed hand against the table, using not even a quarter of her strength to create a crack right next to ezekiel's orange bowl. "enlighten us."
ezekiel smiles, not comprehending the severity of it all, opening up his arms welcomely as he details his reasoning. "well, guys are much stronger and better at sports than girls are!"
the two female athletes are marginally caught off guard hearing his brazed way of thinking, but maintain their strict and aggressive stance. across from him, katie and sadie's appetites have been clearly spoiled, unable to ingest the food inside their mouths as they ooze out from between the corner of their lips. the four nerds now step slowly away from the sexist (who was supposed to be a newfound pal of theirs), back to their seats, to then leave the guy completely on his own.
geoff blows up into boisterous cackles, giving his own forehead a firm whack in astonishment. "oh fuck- you did not just say that!"
the smile spread along his face was now no longer present; ezekiel sits back in more restraint, closing his arms tighter around his body, now sensing the hostility being sent towards him. "my dad told me to look out for the girls here, aye? and help them in case they can't keep up-"
eva heckles the 12-year-old kid in a (barely) 22-year-old body, urgently latching both of her hands around his neck from behind, and peeling him from his chair. "still think we need your help keeping up, bitch boy?" she squeezes the thin, vital portion of the body, hearing it crunch underneath her fingers with every rattle she does to him.
beads of sweat trickle down from his hairline, peaking from underneath his green beanie, and staining his winter-type clothing amidst the summer. "u-uh, not really?"
"okay, guys..." geoff steps in, yet again, as a mediator - or, rather; an instigator - trying his best to alleviate the group tensions, licensing eva to drop the dude three feet off the ground. "let's give him a break! i mean- at least he doesn't think that 'guys are smarter than girls'."
ezekiel takes a few deep breaths, pulling himself back into his seat, barely lifting his head above the table as he massages his neck. "b-but they are..."
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you stand before a broken-looking ezekiel sitting atop the créme kitchen counters, mending his wounds. chef hatchet spectates in the background whilst he washes the dirty dishes.
you, in no way, agreed nor respected the boy's opinions; in fact, the boy infuriated you right now...
...but the mere sight of blood being spewed and shed lured you to step in and put a stop to the entire conflict.
"thank you... y/n." the overly-sheltered young adult managed to groan out through his busted bottom lip.
"just-! don't talk." you answered back exhaustively, momentarily holding a hand out to stop him from responding as you try to keep your anger composed and continue to wash the dark shade of scarlet blood away with a soapy wet-cloth.
"i'm sorry." he protrudes his lip out in compliance so you could gently drag the damp rag against the deep cut, his dark eyes glazing over with crocodile tears.
"you're dumb for that one, kid." chef contentiously reveals, gritting the words through enclosed gapped teeth.
the two of us stop what we're doing to check out chef, but he doesn't even attempt to meet our gaze as he continues aggressively scrubbing the painted porcelain bowls.
❝i just don't get girls...❞ ezekiel claims, blubbering quietly to himself as he is now fully crying, hanging his head down to study his lap.
"listen," you state sternly, throwing down the dirty washcloth on the countertop, grasping both of your hands around his knees, and shaking his lower body in order to gain his attention. "there is nothing to get!"
he keeps a neutral face as he stays completely still, letting the tears fall down his face.
"women have heard enough of that sort of nonsense. that kind of ideology perpetuates all types of crimes against women, instilling fear and insecurity in them. the world has enough of that as it is, why add onto the list? y'know?!" you lean in closer from between the legs of the boy who sits in front of you; him feeling much more sheepish and guilty than before, he simply pulls his hat down to cover his eyes and nose.
you see chef nodding his head to every word in your lecture with a proud expression played on the profile of his face.
"i know your parents probably taught you everything you know, since you were homeschooled in 'redneck, hillbilly' canada, and you probably love them with all your being!" you lean back away, flat on your heels, as you lightly tap your fingers on the side of his kneecap. "but that's not a good, fair way of thinking... we're equals, whether you think so or not."
"but if you continue with that bullshit way of thinking, your ass is worth as much as fucking grass, kid." chef turns around, now finished with the dishes, and tightly twists a damp towel to wring it dry.
you petty laugh at chef's comment - not really knowing if that was an attempt at a joke or not since his face never indicated any sort of change - then continued on your spiel. "i agree! like, it's eminent just from the condition you're in; i bet eva could beat up every single person in that caféteria!"
he just bows his head up and down, accepting everything that you tell him... whether it's actually being considered and processed in his brain is beyond you.
silence takes over before these words:
"i'm probably going to get voted off..."
...is all he retorts with, still not picking his head back up to meet your gaze.
"mm... yeah, probably!"
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(it took me forever just trying to write this last section for this because i literally don't know how to make a sexist look appealing LOL- i feel like the only redemption arc ezekiel has is when he turns into that green monster thing, sadly... i do actually feel bad for him because you can tell he probably means well and not to be COMPLETELY malicious - which is what i wanted to kinda put that message across, with his parental background... but again, that IN NO WAY excuses a single thing he had said. all i believe in is that people can change if they would really like and/or try to, especially at a younger age.
Q : how would you deal with ezekiel in this situation?
A : honestly, i'd probably hop in with eva and bridgette tbh, and whoever else you'd think would jump him lol. i hate violence, but when i hear any sort of hate crime, i instantly become so riled up that any sort of conscience is thrown out the window 💀💀 fun fact: the first ever fight i was in was in gym class when this girl i considered kinda like a friend and i were in line to go outside. my hand accidentally brushed up against hers and she kept yelling out, "lesbian!", and i was legitimately like, "??? stfu or i'ma pop your mouth !!" i was a somewhat closeted gay [she didn't know i identified as pansexual at the time bc we weren't that close], so of course i was insecure about it... but also, in NO WAY did i like this girl at all in that way LMFAOO. you can guess what happened next !! 😃😃😃
EDIT: as this book has gotten wayyyy more views than ever intended or thought, i've been getting EXTREMELY tone-deaf comments regarding the "i like what i like" line [surprisingly, not even the "demogorgon" joke LMAO]... i had gotten a few posts replying to it, saying, "um, not really but ok?", "not me", "lol, i'm straight", and just statements that border the line between homophobia and other forms of ignorance. i've also gotten an "ew" at the eva scene from a few chapters earlier, AND I WILL BE STICKING UP FOR MY GIRL LOL !!!! but, due to this, i will ABSOLUTELY delete your comments, mute AND block you, as well as report you. comments such as these, as well any that involve greater offenses, are NOT welcomed here. you're reading a book that involves ALL of the characters, meaning y/n'll bound to be intimate with at least some of these female characters. if you're saying stuff like this, i do NOT want to imagine what you str8's will be saying when it DOES happen... just do us all a favor and make your own story if you're so against the SIMPLE ideology ????? of just liking whatever you like - like, wtf????)
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❝my body wouldn't let me hide it.❞
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