•••
Evie was lied on her bed, back against the matress. She gazing at the immaculate ceiling, lost in her thoughts. She sighed. It was dark outside, the middle of the night. Hours had past since Jacob found out about Embry's feelings for Evie and the kiss the two of them has shared. When he phased and left, Evie knew it was better not to follow him. He was hurt and mad and in such a state, it was better to let him alone. His feelings could get the beat of him and he could do something he would regret later. A part of Evie was afraid he would leave again permanently. But the other part of her knew he would stay. At least, she hoped so.
After that, Evie decided to go back home. She was lost. No words between Embry and she were exchanged. Just a glance. Embry was cleary troubled and stressed as Evie was confused and lost. But the female shifter didn't question anything and just headed home where calm and peace would be. Where she would feel sade and protected. She needed it to think. That was how she headed on her bed, contemplating her ceiling. And it had been like that for hours.
The scene kept playing in her head. Or more precisely, one specific line from Jacob.
"I see now why you didn't want me to come back! I see why you didn't want me to see her when I first came back!"
There could be no hidden meaning to this. Jacob came back. He came back for her once. But why did he never went to see her? Why did he never come back to her? Why did he stay away? Why did he leave again? Was it because of Embry? It seemed so. Jacob seemed to be blaming him. But why? And that also mean that Embry knew Jacob went back home once. But he never told Evie either. He kept it for himself. Evie wanted to believe he had a reason, a good one, but she couldn't help but feel betrayed and hurt. Why didn't he tell her?
Evie sighed again. It was so complex. It was not what she thought it was. Not completely at least. Jacob came back for her. She felt some kind of pride at this thought. He came back for her. And it meant he cares for her. That he loved her. Not Bella. But Evie wasn't sure. And she didn't want to have high expectations only to be disappointed at this end. So she also considered the other way, he still loved Bella. But this idea seemed less and less probable, plausible, and conceivable. It even made Evie doubt Jacob's reason of his departure. Why did he left? Was it really because Bella? Because he loved her? Or was there something else? Everything seemed to not be what it first was. It pushed the middle child of the Clearwater family to put everything into perspective, to question everything. It was not as simple as she thought it was. It was complicated. There was secrets she didn't even know could exist.
Evie sighed again. She didn't know what to do.
"Still reflecting?" Evie heard. She turned her head to the door to see her older sister, Leah. "I keep hearing you sighing,"
"Sorry," Evie mumbled as she sat up of her bed. Leah chuckled and went to sit next to her sister.
"What's on your mind?" Leah asked.
"A lot," Evie bitterly chuckled. "Doubts, hypothesis, questions, scenarios...,"
Evie paused as be mind went back again at what happened at Sam's house. How did they go there? How two best friends end up fighting each other? Evie felt terribly guilty to be the cause of the issue. And yet, it was not even her fault.
"Hey, Leah," Evie called.
"Um?"
"What would you do if you were in my situation?" Evie asked. She really needed an outside point of view.
Leah didn't answer immediately. She thought a moment and then say:
"I don't know," Leah told thoughtfully. "I am not in your situtation so I cannot truly understand how you feel. What I would tell you would be something rationional according to how I would want to react in that specific situtation. But in moment where feelings are heavily involved, we usually tend to act according to them, and not rationally. So what I would tell would probably not be the way I would truly react. So I don't know,"
Evie stayed quiet. She tended to forget quite often how thoughtful her sister could be. She liked this side of Leah. She admired it a lot. It gave her others point of views, other perspectives. And what Evie learned from what Leah just told her was to stop thinking and imagining too much. Because what we imagine of a situation, all the scenarios we had in mind were most likely never going to happen. Imagining would reassure us, but at the same time, there was a risk of believing so much in what she had imagined that we would believed it was true to the point of falling into delusion and loosing ourselves.
"But what I can tell you is that the situation is indeed way more complex than what we all thought. Well, Jacob is way more complex," Leah specified, making Evie look at her. "You know how mad I was at him,"
"Yeah, you may have been the maddest," Evie couldn't help but chuckled. "You couldn't help but insult him in every sentence you mentioned him," she laughed, followed by Leah.
"Yeah, and I was even madder when I finally understood what imprinting meant," she continued. "After I imprinted on Aaron, I always feel the need to be with him and to protect him. That's how Aaron feels for me, that's how you feel for Jacob, that's how Seth feels for Sarah, that's how Sarah feels for Seth, that's how Paul feels for Rachel, that's how Jared feels for Kim, and that's how Sam feels for Emily. So I was mad that Jacob could not do the same for you. He was supposed to be by your side so why was he not? So it made me think: why would it be different for Jacob? Why would he be the only one different? The only one feeling different? Jacob was genuinely happy with you. We cannot deny it. He was and still is in love with you. He will ever be. And we cannot resist the pull of the imprinting. Even during all this confusion with Bella, Jacob would always comes back to you in some ways. Thinking back more calmly and more objectively at it, Jacob always loved you even if he didn't know it yet. So I don't think the problem of the situation you are currently in is his feelings. But it's his state of mind,"
"His state of mind?" Evie repeated, confused.
"Yeah," Leah nodded. "I don't think Jacob had ever loved Bella, to be honest. Or maybe at some point, he did but only when he was young. But when she came back, it was surely just a liking, not love,"
"How can you be so sure?" Evie asked, doubtful.
"Because the way he looked at Bella never was near the way he is looking at you," Leah explained. "Jacob is always looking at you with tenderness and care and as if you were the most precious and beautiful thing on Earth. He looks at Bella with care, but a friendly one,"
"Then why would have he been chasing after her if it wasn't love?" Evie said. "It doesn't make sense,"
"I told you, his state of mind. Some people don't follow their heart but their head," Leah continued. "I've always wondered why Jacob had refused to be the alpha of the pack. He is by blood. It's his birthright. Whether he likes it or not, he was and will always be an alpha. And honestly, not a lot of shifters would turn down the opportunity of becoming the leader of a pack. This is not something given to anyone so why did he refuse? He said it was because he was not interested but I know it was bullshit. He seemingly hated Edward so as an alpha, it would be easier to attack him and get rid of the Cullens. He gives the order and bam, that's it, we do it. And yet he refused. Why? Because he was too young? Because it was too much of a responsability? I'm not sure but I think it has something to do with being a shifter. Maybe he doesn't want to get too involved in the pack? But that something pushed him to chase after Bella and to leave La Push. I don't think he left because of Bella. I think she is only a façade. The reason is much deeper than that. But the love be feels for you is true and genuine, so he came back,"
Evie didn't answer anything for a moment. Her sister's analysis was not bad at all. It was actually complete and plausible. Evie herself wondered many times why her relationship with Jacob was not like the other shifter relationships. She thought it was because he loved two people at the same time, but it was not possible. Not for Jacob at least. He was a shifter, and when he imprinted on Evie, she became his number one priority. At that moment, any romantic feelings he had for Bella vanished (if he ever had feelings for her in the first place). So why was he still chasing her back then? Because he was denying the imprinting? Evie thought of that at first, but hearing Leah's view on the situation, maybe she was wrong. Maybe it was indeed deeper than it seemed. But what was it? What was the reason of Jacob's torment?
"Of course, that's just my hypothesis. I could be totally wrong," Leah said.
"Actually, you may be right," Evie said. "It kind of makes sense... but how did you end up with such a detailed analysis? You were so mad at him before,"
"Well," Leah chuckled. "Seeing him so hurt earlier, seeing the look in his eyes, it made me realised he was just like us. He too is not and cannot escape the imprinting. He madly loves you. And thinking back of all the moments you two spent together after the battle, it was so obvious like a nose in the middle of a face that you were the only one owning his heart. From that I started wondering why your relationship was so rocky and difficult. He was obviously in love with you so why couldn't you two just be together? If his feelings was not the problem, then it was something else. Something deeper that troubled him so much it was influencing the way he acts, and consequantly, your relationship,"
"You should become a psychologist," Evie joked. But she was truly impressed by her sister's ability to analysis someone's mind just by their reaction. "Why didn't I see that, though...," she mumbled, saddened not have seen it before. To not have seen something was troubling Jacob. Even though she was still mad he left her, she couldn't help but worry about him. She still and will always loves him after all. They were imprintees. They were soulmates.
"Don't blame yourself," Leah told as she put her arm around Evie's shoulders. "You were hurt and in a great pain. Of course you couldn't see everything. You are not omniscient. And sometimes, you cannot guess when people are having troubles with something. Sometimes, people want to keep things for themselves and fix things by themselves. Jacob is one of them. Besides, even though he must be struggling with some deep internal conflicts, his actions still hurt you, so of course you would be mad at him. You are still human. You were still rightfully angry and hurt, "
"But sometimes you cannot succeed all by yourself," Evie added thoughtfully. Something was troubling Jacob to the point he was sinking, and bringing people with him. Now, Evie was determined to know what that something was. She was determined to unravel the truth.
"I need to talk to Jake,"