Flashback:
"Wakatoshi, are you excited for the trip?" one of his classmates asked.
Ushijima was stoic. He wasn't really into going on trips that he wasn't interested in, but his heart said otherwise. He loved stars, and he loved watching the sky change its colours. Always wondered what was beyond it. Maybe this trip wasn't bad at all.
"Ushijima? Are you secretly eating chips again? How many times we have told you not to eat it? It will affect your weight. " The coach replied.
"Don't listen to them. Here have some of my snacks." Tendou whispered to him.
Ushijima's eyes glittered. Ushijima wasn't allowed to eat sweets or anything junk related. His mother took his volleyball career ever since. He missed his father, who was now in the US.
Every time he tried to convince his mother that his father would take him for ice cream after practice, she would shut him up.
Ushijima's traumas made him hesitant to eat what he liked around his surroundings.
His teachers were instructed to watch his diet. He was bigger than his classmates. Always taller and bulkier. He seemed like the guy who could gain weight easily.
But he still found some comfort with his friend.
Ushijima and Tendou have been friends since then. Ushijima realised how Tendou creeped others out, but for Ushijima, he was like anyone else. He never understood how people valued looks when he always found himself attracted to kindness. To warmth, to softness, to lullabies. He hoped Tendou never leave him far away like his father. Even if Ushijima didn't want to admit it, Tendou replaced Utsui-san for several years until he contacted his father.
"Okay, we will be reaching the site soon. Remember, we will be coming across some international scientists. They will answer your budding questions but please be respectful to their answers and presence." The teacher spoke.
The site was everything he wanted to explore. It was oozing with knowledge about astronomy, planets. Spaceships.
"ney ney...do you think we can ask about aliens?" Tendou asked.
"My dad said they don't exist." Ushijima spoke unemotionally.
"Your friend is one." Tendou joked. "Me...I am your friend." He clarified when Ushijima looked at him carefully.
As the kids sat down. A bunch of scientists came over. They gave their little speeches, but nothing appealed to Ushijima. Except for one scientist.
She looked more passionate than ever. She walked more casually.
"You kids must be bored cause of my co-workers boring description of the planets. Ask me random questions okay? Lets see how yall imagination run wild." She cheered.
Ushijima eyes widened. He never thought about it. The question made him explore so many corners of his brain. His 10-year-old brain was hyped.
Kids gave various answers. The scientist laughed with the kids.
"How about Volleyball... I mean can you play volleyball on moon?" Ushijima asked, unsure with his hand raised. His classmates laughed. But...
The scientist stopped laughing, slowly got serious.
"What if I tell you it is possible? Lets imagine different planets and how would it feel playing Volleyball in each planet of our solar system? Whats your name kid?" the scientist asked.
"Ushijima Wakatoshi" was his reply.
"So as your friend Wakatoshi ask a great question, in mars if we had to play volleyball, the gravity would....." And she continued. Her speech made him fall in love with space, the stars, the sky, the planets.
It was the first time Ushijima found his idol. It was always thought he admired other volleyball players. But it was false. It was a scientist he met during a school trip. Was he impressed with her knowledge? Maybe. But her passion for her work won him over. Although he knew early on, volleyball was meant to be his career, and he knew astronomy was going to be a hobby for him forever because of that female scientist.
As the conference ended, the kids hurdled near the cafe near the space centre.
Ushijima's eyes glittered with the options with cupcakes, and ice-cream, muffins. He rarely was allowed to have it. He couldn't spend his pocket money as he wanted to save it to see his father in future. Ushijima led a pretty lonely life.
"Tendou, your mother is here to pick you up. You can go with her. I'll notify your class." The teacher spoke. Tendou frowned.
"I wanted to play with you more Wakatoshi, why did she come to pick me up early. I am so sorry she gets worried easily. Oh I remember we were suppose to get yakisoba...after this. AaaAAAhh..." Tendou spoke.
"Its okay, go ahead...." Ushijima spoke stoically.
But you are my only friend...don't leave Tendou.... Ushijima thought inside. But it would hold anyway because Tendou, too, would leave Ushijima after high school for Paris.
Will I always be alone? He thought.
He was given a bland lunch. Ushijima ate alone. He didn't mind, but he wished for better someday. Someone who wanted him to eat good food that made his taste buds celebrate.
"Oi kid, this lunch looks bland.... why your other classmates having good stuff and not you." Ushijima heard a woman sat beside him. It was that scientist.
" Dr L/N" Ushijima stood up out of respect.
"I have to eat this because...." Ushijima explained to her subtly. Her face narrowed out of little grunt.
"So you a sweet tooth like me huh?" She chuckled.
Ushijima was a little terrified.
"Don't worry, I'll keep this as a secret." she continued.
"Do you know, we astronauts are under a strict diet but we can still eat sweet things. My favourite is black forest cake slice. I have it everyday. Nutrition is not about depriving yourself from good food. If you play volleyball, you deserve to eat tons of calories and sweets. " The scientist spoke casually, a little bored. Her eyes focused on Ushijima later to not dishearten him.
Ushijima never heard someone say he deserved to eat good food.
"I can never restrict my daughter having the food she like. Hold up...." The scientist got up. She opened her wallet in front of the shopkeeper. Did Ushijima see pity in her eyes?
Ushijima saw a photo of her and a little girl of his age. She had the same eyes as the scientist. The girl was holding a little toy knife as the scientist hugged her. It was behind a kitchen. He noticed their distinct eyes yet similar. Although the eye colour didn't have a shocking feature, he noticed the similarities between both of them uncanny. Happy and thoughtful, it reminded him of his father and himself.
"Oi kid!! come here..." the scientist whispered.
Ushijima looked around as his teacher was busy with the other kids.
"Quickly put these cupcakes inside your bag. Eat secretly." she continued whispering. Ushijima wanted to deny the gift, but it was impossible.
"Why are you? I don't know how to accept it?" He stuttered.
"hmm...I miss my daughter. She is umm way mature than me to be honest. But I love talking and being invited to talk to children. I feel in a way, I am giving back to my daughter. So I guess, buying you cup-cakes in a way means I am buying her cupcakes right?....Sorry I got little emotional, it's been a while I saw her little face." She said, softly looking up to let her tears drown back to your eyes.
She pats Ushijima's head.
"See ya kid...."
And just like that, she left. He wanted to ask her more questions about space, about food, about her. But he was only 10. he was nervous; he was always stoic. Words were difficult. Expressions were not his forte. Ushijima wished he was more expressive. He wished he asked his father to stay, his best friend to stay.
Several years passed by, he remembered her name.
Only to meet the little girl in her wallet, to be his reality.
The night he entered with his secret.
Slowly realising he cannot lose y/n for what he lacked.
xxxxxx
"Don't you ever disappear on me again like that. Y/n please...don't every leave me like that ever again." Ushijima's voice broke. My heart stopped.
The pain in his voice was different. He held onto my body as if he was going to lose me.
I felt his tears drop on my shoulders.
I knew he felt mine on his as well.
Two lonely souls afraid to let go.