*Warning* this chapter talks about some serious stuff. Just be mindful of that when reading and if you've ever gone through it, just know you're loved and I only hope to present this well enough to not offend anyone.
*Law & Order: SVU voice* Viewer Discretion is Advised.
Neely's POV
Thankfully by my fifth sangria, I felt a little better. Harry's scent was just as intoxicating as the wine, if not more. Dinner finished, I was giggling my way out of the restaurant and Colby was warm.
"It was nice to meet you both and thank you for the lovely dinner," Elizabeth smiled.
"Likewise," Colby replied. I leaned into him and smiled.
"Have a good night," I sighed.
"You as well!" Elizabeth called back as we began to walk back toward Colby's car.
"That was fun," he laughed.
"It was," I sighed, saving my tears for until I got home. Sitting down in the passenger seat, I leaned my head against the head rest, fighting the urge to get him to stop for some cigarettes.
"We're home," he smiled, helping me out of the car.
"Thank God," I sighed. I'd have more alcohol and cookies to eat.
"Am I really that bad of a date?" he teased.
"No. Just want to go cry."
"Why do you want to do that?"
"Just do," I shrugged.Helping me through the lobby, into the elevator, and finally into the apartment, I gave him a hug before closing the door behind him. Surrounded by silence, the tears finally came, only not as many as I would've thought.
Taking off my shoes and unzipping my dress, I tossed them both on the floor and walked toward the kitchen. Opening the freezer, I pulled the familiar bottles of Absolut and Patron out and opened the Patron first. Taking a long swig, it didn't burn down my throat as usual. Only a cool sensation as it filtered into my stomach. Taking the cookies and chips from the cabinets, I began to munch on those before taking another long swig.
"So good," I nodded the chocolate and salt mixing together. It was really good.
Putting the Absolut back in the fridge, I poured the patron into a glass and walked out of the kitchen. Heading up the small staircase, I walked through my bedroom, into my bathroom. The lights filled my eyes and I sat the glass on the counter before looking in the mirror. Taking my earrings off, I started the bathtub and undressed down to nothing.
"No wonder I'm single," I slurred with a giggle. "I have saggy boobs." What kind of word was saggy? I laughed for a few minutes just at the thought of the word before picking up my glass and getting in the bathtub.
"God, I wish someone were here to fuck me right now," I sighed, the hot water surrounding me. I had no one. Not Harry, Colby, Louis, no one. I was completely alone and I'd come to the conclusion I'd be alone for the rest of my life. Sighing as I took another sip of the tequila, tears streamed down my face, mixing with the water. Downing the rest of it, I played with the glass in my hand before throwing it against the wall. It shattered into a million pieces, just as my life had.
Pushing my hair into the water, it finally surrounded my face and I could no longer feel the tears. I no longer wanted to feel anything. Closing my eyes, I let out a breath and my hands slipped into the water along my sides. Nothing mattered anymore. Not Harry, Colby, basketball, my parents dying, nothing. It was as if the world had finally given up on me as I did all those months ago.
Now? I'd come to the conclusion I'd die alone.