Warnings: brief unwanted sexual attention, threat
"I don't care what Odin said," you growled, pushing past the prince. "I'm going."
You stormed over to your wardrobe and pulled a few of your old dresses from the hangers, throwing them on to your bed. The wardrobe hadn't originally been yours, it was supposed to be shared with the other three women that you roomed with at the palace, however since you were the only one with more than two outfits the others had of late just let you take sole custody. It made you feel bad, after all you were all servants and should be sticking together, but you had larger problems on your mind than the jealousy of others.
As you shovelled the dresses into a bag you looked up at Loki, resting awkwardly against the door as he tried to work out how best to proceed. After the news of the attack on Aumrauth had reached the council, Odin had announced in no uncertain terms that he would not risk the lives of the palace guard on the possibility that a few villagers may still be alive. Loki knew that you weren't going to accept that, hence why he'd followed you back to your room to make sure you wouldn't do something stupid - like you were about to do now.
"You can't just ride out to Aumrauth on your own, Y/N."
"Short of keeping me locked up in the dungeons there is nothing you can do to stop me, Loki."
Bending down to grab your knife from under your bed, you let out a groan of anguish as the bones of your corset dug into your ribs. Using the blade you cut open the front of your bodice and threw it across the room, not even caring when it knocked over one of the flower vases on your roommate's bedside drawer. You dropped the dagger onto your bag and began fumbling with the laces on the back of your corset but your fingers were shaking too much to manage anything.
"Take a breath. You need to calm down before you hurt yourself," Loki whispered in to your ear, suddenly standing right behind you. His proximity made you stiffen but you relaxed when you felt his hands resting gently over yours. It was too familiar a touch to pull away from and, even with your feelings towards him as confused as they currently were, you couldn't help the way your body reacted to Loki. You drew strength from him, using it to keep yourself level in a situation where anything else might - would - get you killed.
His chin barely resting on your shoulder, nose turned towards your neck to just breathe in your familiar scent, but so careful not to touch you in case you pushed him away again, Loki said, "Let me help you."
After a moment of hesitation you nodded and let your arms fall to your side. Loki's deft fingers made quick work of the mess of laces. Even though you couldn't see his face, you just knew that he smiled at the noise you made when you could breathe properly once more. There really was nothing like the relief of stepping out of that godforsaken thing.
You were grateful to see that Loki had turned his back to allow you to change in private and hastily threw an old tattered dress over your undergarments. You caught sight of yourself in your beige rags in the mirror and for a moment were transported back to when you'd been working in the kitchens. How much simpler life had been then.
Interrupting the silence that had fallen over the room as you packed up your remaining supplies - everything short of food, but you were planning to go via the kitchen on your way to the stables - Loki said out of the blue, "I'm coming with you."
"No, you aren't."
"Yes, I am," he said adamantly. "What do you think will happen when you reach Aumrauth? Brynjar and his men will kill you on sight. Whilst you are clearly far more talented in the art of sneaking around than I gave you credit for, when they realise that you have come from the palace then they will not hesitate."
"I hadn't... I didn't think of that," you said honestly, turning to face him and meeting his eyes for the first real time all evening.
"That's why you need me. I can get you into the village so you can find Inga." At the mere mention of your sister's name, tears filled your eyes as all the horrible possibilities that may have fallen on to her ran through your mind. Loki immediately stepped forward and put a comforting hand on your forearm. Squeezing gently, he said, "I'm sure that your family are alright, Y/N."
Biting down on your bottom lip, you nodded even though you couldn't make yourself believe his words. Whilst you'd been taught that there was always a place for hope, you feared that holding on to it in a situation like this could only ever lead to heartbreak. "We should go," you said, swallowing deeply. "I know the routine of the guards on the stables. They take a break at the same time every night. If we don't want to be caught leaving, we have to move now."
"I shall meet you down there."
"Where are you going?"
"I must speak to my brother and make sure that he refrains from doing anything stupid." Cupping your face with his hand, Loki either didn't notice the way that you automatically leant into his touch or just decided not to mention it. In the same way, you said nothing when his thumb gently stroked the corner of your mouth, content despite yourself to simply take comfort from the familiar touch. "I promise I will not be long."
Without another word, you each departed ways; Loki out through the main door and you through one of the servant's passages hidden in the wall. It lead directly down to the kitchen and on your way you passed a few familiar faces. None of them were paying enough attention to realise it was you, though. Not with your hair tied back and no longer wearing one Cinderella's outlandish dresses, in which they'd become accustomed to seeing you wear.
On your way through the kitchen, you snagged as much food as you could fit into your bag. It was mostly just slightly stale bread rolls and off cuts of meat but you weren't willing to risk taking anything else. Especially not when the beast of a head cook wandered in, grumbling like always about how she never got the recognition she deserved for organising such incredible feasts.
Fearful that staying any longer would get you caught, you snuck out through the back door and made your way to the stables. However, as you rounded the corner and heard the hearty laughs of the guards, you knew that you were in trouble.
Too late, one of them spotted you and called you over. "What are you doing down here, girl?"
"I'm just here to tend to my lady Cinderella's horse, sir."
"Oh, so you're the wench that they dragged out the kitchen to look after her?" he asked, stepping away from the stable door to get a better look at you. He gripped you by the chin and tilted your head to either side, nodding to himself. When he stepped back, he took one look at your tattered dress and said, "I thought that she dressing you up like one of those rich courtesans? Doing favours for the boys and all that. Heard that you're quite a sight to behold."
"Thank you, sir," you said quietly, keeping your gaze firmly on the ground so he wouldn't see the hatred in your eyes. Of course you'd known that the entire household knew about the outfits that Cinderella put you in but you hadn't been aware of the fact that there were rumours circulating about what else the princess to be had had you supposedly doing.
No wonder some of the other serving girls looked upon you with disgust when they passed you in the corridors now. If you had heard the same thing about another then you would probably have judged her the same way too.
Clasping your hands behind your back to stop yourself from hitting the man when he ran his fingers down the length of your arm, you said stiffly, "The lady Cinderella prefers me not to wear those gowns whilst mucking out the horses. After all, it would be such a waste to have them ruined by a pile of shit. Now, if you'd excuse me, sir, I really do need to be getting on with my duties."
You ripped your arm out of his grip and stood up straight, almost daring him to try and stop you. He merely scowled as you walked past. For almost ten minutes you waited for Loki to appear, and as the time passed you wondered more and more whether he was actually going to show up. The guards had just left their post and if you didn't move soon then you would lose your chance.
Deciding that you couldn't wait for Loki even though you wanted to, you mounted Loki's horse - knowing the he certainly wouldn't report it missing - and followed one of the back trails out of the palace grounds. You were surprised by how much Loki's horse seemed to like you; Gyllir was well known in the household for his awful temper around strangers.
As you approached the forest, you felt the horse come to a stop and no matter what you did to try and get him moving again he refused to move. Jumping off the saddle, you stroked the top of his head as he began to get restless. In your calmest voice you said, "Come on, boy. We really don't have time for you to be stubborn today... What has gotten in to you?"
"Be still, my friend," Loki said, appearing out of seemingly nowhere to comfort his steed. Stroking his body, the prince peered around Gyllir's head and asked, "You only brought one horse? My horse?"
"I thought you'd decided not to come," you answered honestly. "I figured you wouldn't be angry that I'd taken Gyllir. He likes me, you know."
"So I can see," Loki said, hiding his smile behind Gyllir's long face. "He always had good taste. I suppose this means that we'll be sharing the saddle, unless you think that you could keep up on foot."
"Why am I the one that has to walk?"
"He's my horse." Loki swung up on to his back and reached down to offer you a hand. With his eyebrows arched, the prince asked, "You really would prefer to walk than ride with me, wouldn't you?"
"We haven't the time for what I want," you sighed, taking his hand and letting him pull you up on to the saddle. It was a squeeze to fit you both on, and hardly comfortable, but to say that you hated the feeling of Loki's body against yours would be a lie and you both knew that. Pointing into the distance, you said, "Aumrauth is that way."
You could almost hear him rolling his eyes as you set off in that direction. Mumbling under his breath, loud enough for you to hear on purpose, he said, "I am aware of that, my dear. Surprising as it may seem, I do happen to know my way around the kingdom"
When night fell and it became clear the Gyllir could go no further without a well earned rest, you made stop for the night in a small clearing. It was peaceful. The constant gurgle of the stream hid the noise of insects scuttling around in the fallen leaves and stopped you from jumping at every tiny sound. Throughout the ride, the birds had never stopped tweeting to one another but now that darkness had fallen the forest was eerily quiet in comparison.
You set up a small fire in the centre of the clearing and sat beside it in silence for a long while. Loki had disappeared to freshen up in the stream, at least that was what you assumed. Alone with your thoughts, you couldn't help but imagine what terrors Inga and her children were facing. Assuming that they were still alive at all...
"You really must learn to quiet your mind," Loki said, taking a seat by your side. He sat far enough away that you weren't touching but close enough to let you know that he really would have preferred otherwise. "I could practically hear you worrying from all the way over there."
"I know that it may be a concept that you struggle to understand, Loki, but I am actually concerned for my family's wellbeing. Unlike you, I really do care if they live or die. I wouldn't be doing this... wouldn't be disobeying the king's direct orders to not interfere, if I didn't." Feeling him stiffen beside you, the firelight sharpening the already intense lines of worry on his face, you immediately regretted your outburst. You reached over to place a hand on his knee and said, "I'm sorry. That was out of line. Especially since you are risking your father's wrath for them too."
"No, after what I've done you are within your rights to believe the worst of me."
"I believe in the best parts of you, Loki. I saw them the very first time we met and every day since then. That's why I was disappointed that you were capable of doing something like this. I thought that you were better than this."
"Oh, you sound just like my mother," Loki groaned, running a hand through his hair. Imitating Frigga's voice with a surprising accuracy, he said, "I'm not angry, I'm just disappointed. Gods, I hated that phrase as a child. I think it's even worse now coming from you."
Hiding your laugh behind a cough, you stared into the fire, mesmerised by the way that it moved in the wind. The embers floating in the air, you could almost convince yourself that there were tiny imps dancing in the flames, putting on a private show just for you. Eventually you looked back to Loki and said, "Thank you for doing this for me. Coming to Aumrauth."
"You don't need to thank me, Y/N. You should know by now that I'd do anything for you."
You tried to smile but when it ended up looking more like a grimace Loki wrapped an arm around your shoulder and pull you up against his side. Placing a kiss on the top of your head, he said, "Inga and her children are going to be fine. We aren't far now and when we arrive you'll see them again. I promise."
As hollow as his promises were, you found yourself taking great comfort in them. You couldn't bear to think of the alternatives any longer so simply burying your head in Loki's shoulder and let him whisper gentle reassurances to you until you fell asleep in his arms.
***
"You know, it seems an eternity since I last heard you sing."
You turned around to see Loki perched up against the base of a tree, watching you with a fond expression on his face. You hadn't seen him this relaxed in months, you realised. Not since before the ball had been announced all that time ago. The way he sat now, with his legs half bent, resting comfortably as the morning light softened his face, reminded you of how he used to be in the kitchens. Hiding from the trials of everyday life and just savouring those brief moments of respite with you.
"I thought you considered my singing terrible? In fact, I distinctly remember you telling me one time to stop murdering the glorious songs of our forefathers."
"Oh, I still believe your singing to be terrible," Loki said, the corners of his mouth turning up in a smirk. "But you appear to have brought me breakfast so I decided one compliment couldn't hurt."
"This isn't for you," you said, tearing a chunk off of the bread roll in your hand. From your bag you pulled out a few scraps of leftover game and met his smirk in kind. "This is my breakfast."
"You did bring enough food for us both, did you not? Or do you expect me to go foraging like a... Like a common forest dweller?"
You shrugged and simply took another bite of your bread roll. Unable to hold back your laughter at the distraught look on his face, you reached into your bag and threw Loki a roll of his own along with a pouch of edible plants and flowers that you'd found earlier that morning. "Of course I did, Loki. Now stop sulking and eat your bread."
"It's mouldy..." he pointed out, as if you didn't already know that. He picked at the green sections with his nails and threw them as far away as he could, much to the pleasure of the nearby birds who seemed willing to eat just about anything. "Couldn't you have stolen something a little more fresh?"
"I'll have it back if you're going to be fussy like that."
"No," Loki said quickly. He pulled it to his chest when you reached out to grab it and failed to hide the grimace when he took a bite. Noticing the way that you ignored the mouldy spots on your roll, he asked, "You eat this all the time?"
"You know, Loki, some of us don't have the luxury of being able to afford fresh food every day." The moment that you sat down beside him, Loki slid an arm around your waist and pulled you closer. His shoulder far more comfy than the tree, you relaxed into his embrace and couldn't help but imagine a life without all the complications where you could sit like this every day. No pressures of the court. No worries about life or death. Just enjoying the company of the one you loved.
Sometime later, Loki asked, "Do you?"
"I beg your pardon?"
"Do you have enough money to afford fresh food?"
"Oh! No, I don't. I send the majority of my wages to my sister and her children because they need the money more than I. Even with Inga's business growing - thank you for introducing her to those nobles, by the way. I don't think I ever got around to thanking you for that - she doesn't earn enough to keep her children properly fed. So I help in every way I can."
"I didn't know that."
"It's alright." Sensing his disbelief, you repeated, "Honestly, it's alright. I get fair meals from the kitchen like every other servant in the palace and it's enough to keep me strong enough to work. Ask any girl in the household and they will all say same. Of late, though, I have taken to stealing fruits from Cinderella's meals when she doesn't finish them so that's something, I suppose. Actually, don't tell anyone that, please. I could get into quite a lot of trouble for that."
"Your secrets are safe with me, Y/N. How is your neck today?"
Just like that, your good mood shattered as you were once again faced with the terrible reality of life. Pushing yourself up from the tree and shuffling away from Loki's side, you pulled the fabric from around your throat and lowered your eyes. Obviously you couldn't see the marks but knew even before you saw Loki's expression that they looked bad today. Every time you swallowed it pulled on the wounds and even the gentlest breeze seemed to feel like a slap against the bruises on your skin.
Taking your silence as an answer of its own, Loki leant forward and placed a gentle kiss on to every mark. Each time that his soft lips touched your skin you felt a strange tingling sensation and then nothing. No more pain. Trailing his kisses back up your neck and along your jaw line, Loki said, "I'm sorry that I can't make the marks go away but I can stop them from hurting."
"Thank you," you breathed, lacing your fingers through his silky, dark hair. You pulled his head back with a firm but gentle force, meeting his lips with yours. Somehow suddenly in his lap, you closed your eyes when he brought your foreheads together, breathing in time to one another. "Loki, I..."
"Don't. Just let me have this moment. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere. I'm right here."
Loki brushed his lips against yours once more, holding your face in your hands as tightly as he dared. It was almost like he were scared of you disappearing, gone from his grasp forever. "You trust me, don't you?" he asked, voice wavering despite his best attempts to keep it level. "Please, Y/N. I need to hear you say it."
"Loki, you're scaring me... What's going on?"
"I won't let them hurt you, alright? I promise. Please, just say you trust me."
"I don't understand. What's this about, Loki?"
"Y/N, please"
Swallowing deeply, you nodded and whispered, "I trust you. Of course I trust you. Now can you tell me what's going on."
Before Loki could explain what was happening, a soldier jumped out of a nearby bush, a loaded bow pointed directly at you. Whipping your head around in every direction, you realised that you were surrounded. Weapons of every kind were trained on you and Loki, although when you turned your gaze back to the prince he was no longer himself.
Wearing his illusion of the royal guard, he shoved you off his lap and positioned you on your knees on the ground. Your first instinct was to fight but Loki gripped your shoulder tightly and must have caught a pressure point because you were unable to move. Bowing your head, you stayed silent, realising that trying to talk your way out of this would not end well.
Especially not when the leader of the group stepped into the clearing.
"Brynjar," Loki said. "I come bearing gifts."
"Is this the troublesome maid I've heard so much about? Why did you bring her to me?"
"She was drawing attention too much attention to herself in the palace and would have interfered with the plan."
"Cindy said as much but that doesn't answer my question. Why did you bring her to me? From what I heard you were rather fond of her."
Loki let out a harsh laugh and even though you knew - you hoped - that this was all part of a great deception the sound still felt like a dagger in your chest. "Oh, please. She was just a distraction. Cinderella... Well, she convinced me to see things a different way. You had a problem and I dealt with it."
"At least my sister is good for something," Brynjar said. One of the nearest rebel soldiers handed him a large sword and he tossed it carelessly between his hands, never taking his eyes off of you. The way that his gaze rolled over you was like oil on your skin, thick and dark and the worst things you'd ever felt. You felt so vulnerable and if not for Loki keeping you in place you knew you would have tried to run. To his men, he asked, "What do you think, boys? Keep her to play or just kill the wench right now?"
"You don't want to do that," Loki said, trying hard to ignore the despicable things that were being shouted your way. It made his blood boil to hear these men talk about you that way and he wanted nothing more than to eliminate them all where they stood. However, despite his refined skills and reflexes, he knew he would be no match against twenty heavily armed brutes.
"Oh, I really think I do," he said, poking the tip of the sword against the base of your throat.
"Trust me, Brynjar. Take her back to Aumrauth and lock her up with the rest of the hostages. You needn't spill more blood than is necessary. Death does not aid a smooth transition of power. She is well known among the royal household after that pitiful attempt to trick your men at the ball. If they find that you killed her, we may face more resistance than before. But if she shows support for the cause, they may understand."
"And if she escapes? How do I know that she won't warn the palace of the attack? That she hasn't already warned them?"
"She's a servant! Nothing more! Even if she spoke to others - which I can assure you, she did not - they wouldn't put weight on her words. Odin hates her. He would never believe a word that came out of her mouth. You needn't worry."
Brynjar considered his words carefully before eventually lowering the sword. However, his grip on the handle remained a little too tight for your liking and you feared that one wrong word would be enough to break his resolve. You could see in his eyes how badly he wanted to kill you. Or perhaps that was just the urge to kill in general. There was no way to tell the two apart.
He signalled to his men to lower their weapons, which they reluctantly did, before pulling you to your feet and throwing you against the thick tree. Your hands were bound behind your back before you were shoved back towards the centre of the clearing and Loki. "You will stay here with her too."
"That wasn't a part of the plan, Brynjar. I was to join you in the attack and reap the glories of battle by your side."
"You have shown your true colours today, trickster. If you can be swayed to turn on even the woman you love then I would never trust you to fight by my side." With a mere glance to his men, they grabbed Loki and tied his hands behind his back in the same way they had yours. "Erlend, take them to Aumrauth and lock them with the others. Geir, you go and rally the armies. We're moving forward with the attack. We move tonight."
Erlend and his group of men shoved you forward, ordering you to start moving or face the most unpleasant of deaths. Understandably keen to avoid such a fate, you followed their orders. You kept trying to catch Loki's eye but he refused to look up from the ground until you finally whacked him in the side with your elbow.
Under your breath so none but he could hear, you whispered, "I guess that didn't quite the way you'd hoped?"
"No, my dear. It most certainly did not."