CHAPTER SEVEN
❝ always a liability ❞
LUCY KEPT THE trauma of that night a secret from Bucky and Steve. Luckily, the gash on her forehead healed quickly, only leaving a hint of a scar. The ones on her right palm were worse, forcing her to be extra cautious about hiding them.
She always walked on Bucky's right side from that point on, making sure that if he wanted to take her hand, he would take her unscathed left one.
Not a word was uttered between Lucy and Thomas Everhart since then. He started ignoring her, which was a relief compared to his previous tendencies. Whenever Thomas was in the house, Lucy would make sure to go out or lock herself away in her room. Her father seemed to get the idea and do the exact same to avoid his daughter.
She considered telling her best friends about what happened but just couldn't get herself to do it. She didn't want to drag them into her issues, burdening them with a problem that wasn't even their own. So she spared them the sob story in hopes that it would stay in the past.
It was easier to pretend that nothing had happened.
Besides, once she started spilling one secret, there was a risk of them all coming out. Including her being inexplicably in love with Bucky. She was too paranoid that the truth would come out and that he wouldn't reciprocate the feeling. Their friendship would be ruined and Steve would no doubt stay on Bucky's side.
She couldn't risk losing the two best people in her life.
She couldn't be alone again.
The teenagers sat in Science class, with Lucy being the only one who was paying attention. She indulged in her love for the subject by taking detailed notes and listening to each word that Mrs. Sullivan spoke.
Bucky looked like he was about to fall asleep, barely able to hold his head up by resting it on his fist.
Steve, on the other hand, looked like a mess. Thanks to the constant stormy weather, he had been having bad asthma episodes for the entire week prior. Lucy and Bucky immediately noticed when they were walking to school together, asking the blonde if he was feeling okay.
Steve shrugged it off, telling them not to worry about it. Not that either of them listened. They kept glancing at him during the class, frowning at how he seemed to worsen by the minute.
The poor boy was slumped over in his seat, wheezing while trying to control his coughs. He kept adjusting his position, trying to relieve the ache in his chest.
Lucy and Bucky shared a concerned look towards the end of the class, silently agreeing to take him to the nurse right when the bell rang.
Once class was over, they both hopped up from their seats, about to tell Steve that he needed to get checked out. Before they could say a word, Steve stood. His head spun from the oxygen deprivation, sending him straight to the ground.
Bucky was able to dive forward and catch him, preventing what would have been a nasty fall. He supported Steve's body while Lucy made her way to the door. "I'll go get the nurse."
Bucky could see that Steve was practically turning blue at this point, on the verge of panicking. "Come on, Steve." He cursed under his breath, hoping that Lucy wouldn't take too long.
Lucy brought the nurse to the room and the woman quickly decided a hospital visit was necessary. This wasn't Bucky's first time seeing Steve go off to the hospital, but it never got easier. With all of Steve's ailments, he was still lucky to be alive.
That was how Bucky and Lucy found themselves sitting in the hospital, waiting to hear what Steve's status was. They took him to the one where Sarah worked, so she promised to update the two as soon as she could.
Lucy's knee was bouncing up and down and she was rubbing her chest, a nervous habit that she picked up over the years.
Bucky was up and pacing around the waiting room. He would sit for a moment and then jump up, unable to stay still because of his nerves.
"Bucky, come sit." Lucy patted the seat next to him and watched him sigh in defeat. He walked over to her, collapsing in the chair and putting his head in his hands. Lucy rubbed a hand over his back, knowing that no words could make him feel better.
She was trying to soothe him, all while keeping herself calm. Once he felt her touch, he sat up and leaned his head onto her shoulder. She kissed his temple before laying her own head on top of his.
They both jumped up when they saw Sarah walking toward them. The poor woman looked so defeated, with red, puffy eyes to prove just how distraught she was.
"He's still unconscious. I put two chairs in the hall outside of his room so that you two can be a little closer to him. Steve would like to have you both by his side, but you can't be in the room right now."
Usually, patients with Steve's situation would be put in a shared hospital room. But since all of the nurses knew Sarah's son, they put him in his own room, providing the best care possible. Besides, the blonde had landed himself in the hospital so many times that he deserved his own bed there.
Lucy and Bucky quickly nodded at Sarah's words, thankful for the love that she had for her son. Before she could lead them to his room, the older woman pulled the teenagers into her arms for a hug and kissed both of their heads.
Lucy squeezed her tightly and closed her eyes when she realized this is what it would be like to have a mom. A loving parent who gave out hugs and kisses.
They quickly made their way to Steve's room. Once they were outside, both peeked through the little window in the door. Steve was laying peacefully, an oxygen tank providing him with air while he slept.
Sarah saw the worry on their faces and went on to explain, "He just needs a little help breathing. There's not much that we can do but we did give him an injection of adrenaline to strengthen him."
Bucky took a sharp breath in. "Is that bad? Is he gonna be okay?"
Lucy took Bucky's hand in her own, silently waiting for Sarah's answer. He squeezed her left hand tightly, almost too tightly. Not that she minded.
"It's good that we know it's his asthma so that we could rule out other possibilities. They think that as long as his body is strong enough to push through it, he'll be okay."
Another nurse came around the corner, starting a small conversation with Sarah and using medical terminology that neither teenager understood. Sarah looked at them apologetically once she was done with her conversation. "They need me in another wing. Do you two need anything?"
That was one trait Steve got from Sarah. Even when both were struggling, they always made sure that everyone around them was okay. It was a part of their selfless nature.
"Oh, no, go ahead," Lucy waved her on. "Thank you, Sarah." The woman nodded, taking one last longing look at her son before running off.
Despite the chairs being right there, neither Bucky nor Lucy sat. Their nerves were running too high at that point to stay still. Bucky was silent while staring into the room.
"He's gonna be okay," Lucy said while squeezing his hand again.
"How do you know?" Bucky's voice was small, sounding like that of a scared little boy. Lucy had never heard Bucky this vulnerable.
"Because he's Steve. He's strong."
Bucky didn't respond to Lucy.
She nervously gnawed at her bottom lip. "I mean, Buck, we know Steve. We know that he's strong."
Bucky was overwhelmed, to say the least. He was frustrated. Not at anyone specifically, but at the world.
And sadly, everyone seemed to take out their frustrations on Lucy.
He let go of her hand, starting to pace yet again. "Lucy, just stop. Stop being optimistic when we don't know if he'll be okay. I know Steve better than you. You-you haven't even known us for that long, so just shut up."
Bucky never yelled at Lucy. He wouldn't dare raise his tone with her. At that moment, he wasn't mad at her. No, he needed her by his side. But his subconscious was trying to push her away, both a coping mechanism for the worry he was feeling and to distance himself from falling deeper in love and letting his walls down.
Lucy flinched. "Bucky, I'm sorry I just—"
"Don't be sorry, just figure out that you'll never be as close as Steve and I are."
That was the final blow. She had finally let her walls down and allowed herself to get close to people. Despite all of the hurt and rejection that she had endured because of her father, she gave herself a second chance at forming healthy relationships.
Only for it to turn out just as she feared.
After a moment, Lucy nodded, beginning to walk in the other direction while taking a deep breath. Before she could get far, she turned back to face him one last time. "I'll come back in a few hours, just to see if Steve is okay."
Her sadness quickly turned to anger. Anger because all of the relationships in her life always went to shit. Anger because deep down, she knew that she didn't deserve to be treated that way.
"And by the way, I was just trying to help. You're being an asshole, Bucky." Her last words were harsh as she turned around and walked away while trying to hide her disappointment.
As Lucy disappeared down the hallway, Bucky took in what he really just said. Something had possessed him, badly enough to say those horrible things to Lucy. He was about to yell out for her to wait, but it was too late.
He ran a hand through his hair, cursing himself for pushing her away.
"Fuck."
───
Steve's eyes fluttered open and he let out a small groan, his chest still sore from his attack. After blinking the blurriness from his vision, he turned and saw Bucky at his bedside, sitting in a chair with his head resting on the covers.
"Buck." Steve's voice came out as a croak, sending him into a coughing fit. Bucky's eyes shot open and he stood up, quickly grabbing the cup of water for him to drink.
As Steve practically inhaled the refreshment, Bucky tiredly chuckled. "Easy, pal. Don't choke. You've already got enough medical issues right now."
Steve shrugged. He was still groggy but could breathe a lot easier. The treatment was starting to kick in and help his body fight it. "How long was I out?"
Bucky ran a hand through his gelled hair, leaning back into the chair. "A few hours. You gave Lucy and me a real big scare at school."
The events came flooding back to Steve. "Oh god, sorry. I didn't even realize how bad it was." He paused, noticing Lucy's absence. "Where's Luce?"
Bucky groaned and put his head in his hands after being reminded of how badly he screwed up. "I messed up, Steve."
"What?"
Bucky licked his lips and sighed. "I messed up. I was stressed out and I took it out on Lucy and yelled and I just... I messed up."
Steve had to process what Bucky was telling him. "You yelled at Lucy?"
"Yes."
"...You yelled at the girl that you're in love with."
Bucky's head shot up. He stared at Steve with wide eyes, not knowing what to say. "What? I don't... What?"
Steve chuckled. "Don't even try to deny it. I see the way that you look at her."
Bucky was too stressed to try and fight Steve. "I know," he said defeatedly. "I've just been trying to figure out if I should actually tell her and if she would feel the same way. But I just ruined all of my chances, Steve. She was just trying to help and I pretty much told her that she is an outcast in the group."
"Okay, first of all, Lucy feels the same way—"
"How do you know?"
"Buck."
"Right, sorry. Continue."
"I just know she does. And second of all, what you said was awful." Steve and Bucky were always truthful with each other, even if they had to be harsh.
Bucky groaned. "God, I know. What should I do?"
Sarah walked into the room, overhearing the last part of their conversation. She saw that Steve was awake minutes ago but wanted to give him and Bucky some time alone.
"Okay." Steve and Bucky turned towards the door once they heard Sarah's voice. "Here's what you're going to do to fix this."
───
Lucy hesitantly walked through the hospital, approaching the wing that Steve's room was in. She was still upset about what Bucky had said earlier but needed to make sure Steve was awake and recovering.
The logical part of Lucy knew that Bucky was speaking purely out of stress. Just like her when her father gets angry, she was the only one there to take it. It didn't make it right but at least it made sense.
The insecure part of her, however, took Bucky's words to heart. All the what-ifs ran through her head.
What if he meant it?
Still confused about her thoughts, she was planning to just visit Steve and make sure that he was okay before leaving, hoping to avoid Bucky at all costs.
Her plan immediately crumbled when she saw the brunette standing in the middle of the hallway, blocking her way to Steve's room.
She slowed to a stop when Bucky noticed her presence. He frowned when he saw her trying to hide her puffy eyes, a clear indicator that she must have been crying. All because of him.
"Luce." she looked back up when her name was called, seeing Bucky's apologetic expression. The look and tone of his voice were relieving. It held a certain comfort that separated this situation from the ones that she usually found herself in with Thomas. Whenever her father hurt her, he never apologized. She wasn't sure that she had ever heard an apology come out of that man's mouth before.
"I, uh, got you this." She hadn't even noticed the milkshake in his hands until he stepped forward and extended it toward her. It was in a disposable cup but had whipped cream and a few cherries on top.
"It's chocolate. I ran down to the diner and ordered one for you not too long ago. And I begged them to put extra cherries on top 'cause I know they're your favorite part." He nervously laughed as Lucy took the sugary drink, their hands touching during the exchange.
"Lucy," he said. "I'm sorry. And I know that sorry isn't enough because I said some horrible things. I was just stressed and worried about Steve and I took it out on you and—" He stopped, frustrated with himself.
"Let's be honest, Steve and I both need you to function," he joked, eliciting a small smile from Lucy. "I just said those horrible things because I didn't want you to see me like that and I knew it would get you to leave me alone. But I don't want that. I don't want you to leave me alone at all."
He was pleading with her at that point. "Please, don't leave me alone."
Lucy stayed in her spot, nodding slowly. Bucky bit his tongue, hoping that she would say something. Anything. "What you said wasn't okay."
Bucky closed his eyes for a brief moment, scrubbing a hand across his face. "I know. I'm sorry."
She could tell he was being genuine. Hell, if she told him to get on his knees and beg he probably would. He looked like he was about to shatter if she didn't accept his apology.
"I believe you. And I forgive you." She smirked. "But only because you got me this milkshake." She held up the cup, smiling as Bucky visibly relaxed.
"You're lucky. I would've just gotten you the cafeteria food here, but then I changed my mind."
Lucy giggled as Bucky stepped forward and engulfed her in a hug. She wrapped her free arm around him, burrowing her face in the crook of his neck. The familiar warmth calmed her like nothing else.
"I promise that I'll keep making it up to you," he assured her while pressing a kiss to the top of her head.
He wouldn't ever lose her again. He couldn't lose her again.
Bucky sucked in a breath and held it. "Also, I'm not gonna lie, Sarah gave me the milkshake idea 'cause Steve and I aren't creative enough."
Lucy giggled at Bucky's words before gasping. "Steve! Is he awake?"
"Yeah, doll. He's dyin' to see you."
Lucy lightly smacked his arm at the joke.
"Too soon?"
"Yeah, Bucky. Too soon."
AUTHOR'S NOTE!
listen, i love bucky, but he's an idiot.
this chapter made it crystal clear that both lucy and bucky's love language is touch.
they find their comfort in each other :)
also, i'm about to see the black widow movie!
the fact that nat finally got her own movie makes my heart so happy.
i hope you're having a great day!
<3 mal