Everything's at full peace. For once, things are perfect for Bucky. [Y/N] is laying in his arms, her head resting on his chest as she's listening to his steady heartbeat. And he feels nothing but peace. Her hand is drawing random patterns on his chest, her touch so gentle that it almost tickles him. Everything's silent, their breathes the only audible noise in the entire apartment.
He doesn't know what she is thinking about so he doesn't know that she feels nothing but happiness and peace as well. He doesn't know that she feels safe near him and that tonight has been the best night of her life so far.
He would have never thought that the woman from Bucharest would ever mean so much to him. He would have never thought that he would ever be able to make friends again, let alone fall in love. It was not only his wish to be a better person that brought him here but his wish to make her effort into their friendship worth it. She was the first one that wasn't scared of him, not for a second and that saw the person behind the Winter Soldier. It was not just his will to make things right that made him work on himself because he always wanted to come back to her one day and show her that she was right by believing in him.
But he would've never thought of falling in love with the sound of her voice, her beautiful [y/hc] hair or that her jokes would not only cheer him up but make him laugh along. She had brought him happiness when he didn't know anything else than pain and sorrow. But by now she has brought him so much more - namely peace in every aspect.
As his fingers draw small circles on her back, his mind wanders to their whole journey together. His chest feeling heavy from the weight of the confession he didn't dare to make until now. "There's something I have to tell you" he says to [Y/N] and breaks the long silence. The concern in his voice worries her and she prepares to hear whatever news he has to share. Maybe Bucky will leave the compound and tonight was his way to say goodbye. Maybe he had his own family with children in the 1940s and he tried to forget about them with her help. Maybe something bad happened in Bucharest or Wakanda. Maybe he's even in love with Steve and their night together has finally made it clear for him. "[Y/N]?" he asks and interrupts all her thoughts of doubts as she hasn't answered him yet.
"I'm listening" she says softly and lifts her [y/ec] to look at him, encouraging him to go on.
Bucky sights out of relieve, knowing he still has her attention because he needs all of it for his confession. His gaze is serious but a warm, small smile is on his lips that slowly fades as his own eyes move away to look at anything else of her body than her eyes. His fingers caress her arm now and he focuses on the soft feeling of her skin against his. "You know I have nightmares from time to time, too..." he begins, his voice low. "It's because I remember. But it also means a part of me is still there. Which means a part of the Winter Soldier is still in me." He takes a short break because this is the first time he has told someone about that. His eyes move back to meet her gaze and [Y/N] can see in them that he isn't done talking yet, so she waits until he is ready to continue.
"I tried to tell myself that it's okay because it's my destiny. I can't take back what I did or who I was. And who I thought is still a part of me. I thought I don't deserve anything good, that I don't deserve happiness. I didn't think I was allowed to move on. And admitting to you would've meant that I moved on. That I'd have tried to, at least. But I was wrong."
He takes one more break to calm his nerves, the confession feeling more painful than he would've thought, his heart is racing. "All you do show us is that moving on is possible and important. You showed me what moving on feels like... And.. What I'm trying to say is... I love you, [Y/N]. And I'm no more afraid because I know it's going to be okay as long as you're with me."
With tears in her eyes, [Y/N] looks deep into the beautiful ocean of blue and a hint of green of Bucky's eyes, her heart racing. She never thought about the depth of his worries and feelings for her like that. She always just tried to flow with their relationship, thinking that Bucky was still trying to find trust in the people around them. His words touch her deep and her mouth feels dry when she opens it. "I love you too, James" she says and Bucky feels like he has never heard anything as beautiful as this.
***
The minutes pass in which they lie in silence again, Bucky's two strong arms wrapped around her now, holding her as close to his chest as he can, yet all kindly.
"James?" [Y/N] whispers careful, not knowing if he's drifting off to sleep already.
"Hmm?" he humms softly, enjoying the perfection of the moment.
Knowing he's still awake, [Y/N] begins to caress his arms with her fingers, knowing it has a calming effect on him. "Just because you remember doesn't mean he's still there" [Y/N] says and turns her head to face him again. "I think it means you were never gone. You remember because James Bucky Barnes was always in the Winter Soldier. Not the other way around."
As Bucky doesn't say a word to reply, [Y/N] lifts her head just in time to see a tear escaping his eyes which she brushes away with her thumb. She knows it's the pain and memories overwhelming him but little does she know is that it's a way he hasn't seen things yet and her kindness that overwhelm him. She's never seen the bad in him, only the good. Her heart is as kind as Steve's and yet she seems to look through things even more and see them in a way no one else sees them like.
And as he thinks about, not giving into the pain of his memories, not letting them be in his way, it feels like she's right. A kiss on his forehead brings him back to his steady self and as they lock eyes again, he pulls her close into him, placing a tender kiss on her lips. She's his comfort and he loves her with all of his heart.
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When Bucky wakes up the next morning, the bed next to him is empty, the apartment filled with a delicious smell. His growling stomach makes him aware of how hungry he is but after last night's happenings, he wants to take a shower first. He's used to [Y/N] being up way before him by now but he doesn't even realize that this is one of the few nights he hasn't woken up for once after he fell asleep. He feels refreshed, light weighted and when he steps out of the shower just a few minutes later, he feels the best he ever felt.
He enters the kitchen, [Y/N] standing in front of the stove, wearing nothing but her dress, her bare feet touching the ground. Her [y/hc] hair hangs loosely around her face and shoulders as she humms a sweet melody that Bucky can't recognize.
He smiles as he approaches her, his fingers pulling her hair aside so he can place kisses on the bare skin of her right shoulder, moving from there up to her neck until a giggle escapes her lips. He knows she has showered too. Her usual scent of hibiscus and lemon grass is mixed with the smell of soap. "Good morning" he humms against her skin, his kisses moving up her neck again.
[Y/N] humms in response, leaning her neck to the left to expose more of her skin, Bucky's affection turning her on again already. "Good morning" she presses out as his strong arms wrap around her from behind, his thumbs stroking her through the fabric of her dress, hands slowly moving upwards. "I'm going to burn the eggs, Buck..." she presses out as Bucky continues his doings.
"I don't care" he responds and with one swift motion, he has turned her around, turned off the cooking plate and brought their lips together, his metal hand cupping her face.
[Y/N] moans within the kiss as his right hand caresses her side and presses her into him. Her fingers travel to the hem of his shirt and pull it up until Bucky breaks their kiss to take it off.
"Fuck, doll..." he mutters, realizing how fast things escalated. He sees the fire of desire in her eyes, her tongue licking over her lips and he picks her up bridal style to carry her back to bed, kissing her tenderly and desiring all the way there.
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They are back home a couple of hours later. Their time at the apartment has come to an end not even 24 hours later as they have rented it for one night only, knowing Natasha and Sam would have recognized their missing by then.
Still on the elevator, a grin lies on [Y/N]'s lips as they both look forward at the door, standing next to each other. But Bucky sees it nonetheless. "What's so funny?" he asks, his fingers of his metal hand caressing her side as he holds her next to him.
"Steve told me to behave when he dropped me oft last night" [Y/N] answers, her smirk growing as Bucky laughs loudly.
"Hmm... How did that go?" Bucky hums amused and places his right hand on her other side to turn her around to face him, meeting her lips desiring. "Because I remember us doing some naughty things the past hours" he groans when he pulls back and watches [Y/N] blush as the elevator comes to a hold and she quickly withdraws from his grip, making him chuckle.
"We shouldn't tell him that" [Y/N] answers sternly as they exit and Bucky smirks. Knowing Steve, he probably knows it already anyway. She turns back around to face Bucky, a smile on her lips when she leans in to kiss him again. "I'm going to change. Thanks for the nice evening, Mr. Barnes."
"I can help you with that" Bucky smirks from behind her as they head upsairs to their bedrooms. "Changing, I mean. Getting you out of that dress, more especially."
[Y/N] turns around, smirking, and walks back to him. The fingers of her right hand wander up and down his chest as she looks deep into his eyes. "Your perseverance is admirable, James. But you should restrain yourself. We have things to do."
Bucky chuckles and places a kiss on her lips. "You don't wanna ignore Steve's instruction once more?" he groans as his fingers travel from her face down her neck to her shoulder. His thumb caresses her sweet spot on her neck and she leans into his touch instantly. A smile lies on his lips as this is enough for her body to react to him. His fingers travel to the back of her neck now, bringing their faces together again, biting her lower lip hungrily.
She quickly grabs Bucky by his shirt and pulls him into her room, locking the door before they get caught. "You kept me waiting for days and now you can't stop. Are you serious?" she pouts as she turns around to face him again, her back now facing the door.
"You want me to stop?" Bucky asks smirking, yet there's a certain kind of uncertainty in his voice and a hint of worry in his eyes.
[Y/N] quickly wraps her arms around his neck and kisses him softly to stop his doubts. "I love you, James. And I'm just as crazy for you but we need to behave in front of the others" she smirks. "I don't want to disgust them right away."
"Say it again" Bucky directs her, his eyes slightly widened, a burning passion visible in them.
"That we need to behave?"
"No, the first part."
As she realizes what Bucky is talking about, a smile forms on [Y/N] lips and her fingers begin to caress the back of his neck as she pulls his face closer to hers. "I love you, James."
A wide smile forms on his lips before he picks her up and carries her to her bed, placing her down there and leaning above her. "I love you, [Y/N]" he says happily.
This time, it's not about sex. It's about being together and being happy. It's about spending some more time alone before they tell their friends. It's about love, affection and endearment. Her room being like the safe place they can always hide at and within its walls he can be who he truly is.