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Bittersweet
"I'm Bright Castro." pakilala ng matandang lalaki kay Thyme.
Naupo sila sa restaurant na nasa loob rin lang ng hotel. Nagtatakang tinitigan ni Thyme ang kaharap.
"Sorry, I wasn't able to introduce myself fully. I'm your Dad's cousin." The old man, named Bright smiled.
"Matagal akong nagtrabaho abroad kaya hindi ako nakakapunta sa mga family gatherings, tapos nung pinanganak ka naman I wasn't able to meet you because I've been travelling a lot.. Well, since I'm a photogropher now.."
Hindi alam ni Thyme kung bakit bigla nalang ay nakilala niya ang kanyang tito na hindi niya nga naman kahit kailan nakilala. The waiter handed them the menu. After they settled with their orders, Thyme had the courage to speak.
"I'm sorry, I'm confused.." si Thyme
Bright smiled. "Your dad called and asked where I was. Luckily, I was around the city so I got the chance to meet his son. I've heard so much about you. And how much I looked like you when I was young," natatawang sabi ni Bright
"I remember Hendrix told me when you were in highschool that I was your spitting image and how is that even possible? Bakit naman hindi, magka-dugo tayo at pamangkin kita?" napangiti nalang din si Thyme.
"I wonder what you looked like when you were younger, Tito." puno ng kuryosidad na tanong ni Thyme
"Just look in the mirror and you'll see." Bright said
"For real?" hindi naniniwala si Thyme
"For real."
Dumating ang kanilang order. Nang ipanganak si Thyme ay siyang naging simula ni Bright sa pagiging isang photographer. Tourism talaga ang natapos ng kanyang Tito Bright but then he realized that he found his heart in photography. Malamig ang simoy ng hangin sa Davao lalo na sa gabi kaya matapos kumain ay nagpasya ang dalawa na maglakad lakad sa park hindi kalayuan sa hotel.
"Yeah, I remember sa aming magpipinsan si Hendrix talaga ang pinaka-ayaw ko." Bright, pertaining to Thyme's father. "Sobra niyang seryoso talaga! Tapos parati niya akong nakikita at pinapagalitan, ewan ko don!" dagdag pa niya
Tawang-tawa naman si Thyme na pinapakinggan ang pa-throwback ng kanyang Tito Bright. He really did grew up with a strict father. Growing up, he's really afraid of his Dad but more than just being afraid, his Dad became his inspiration. The man he is now is because of how his dad raised him. That's why when he found out he's gonna be a dad, Thyme was so scared. He was scared at the thought that he'll never be the kind of father that his Dad was to him.
Naupo si Bright at Thyme sa bench at pinanood ang dancing fountain. "Actually, the real reason I'm here is because your Dad told me about your relationship.. with someone? He believes I can help.." ani Bright
"Hindi ko pa pala nasabi sayo kung bakit nagpasya akong maging photographer when obviously I already had a job back in Dubai." dagdag ni Bright. Nanatili ang paningin niya sa fountain.
"So there's a reason?" Thyme asked
Nilabas ni Bright ang kanyang wallet at pinakita ang isang litrato. Nanlaki ang mata ni Thyme ng makita ang lalaking katabi ni Bright sa litrato.
"Do they really look the same?" Bright asked, napatingin sakanya si Thyme with shock in his eyes
Bright smiled a bit, "Your Dad told me about your boyfriend that looked exactly my boyfriend. Is your Dad fan of reincarnation or something? He's been invested with our lovelives!" tumatawa na saad ni Bright, samantalang titig na titig parin si Thyme sa litrato.
"That's Win. My boyfriend." pakilala ni Bright sa nasa litrato.
"Where... is he now?"
Tinuro ni Bright ang kalangitan. "One of the angels, I suppose."
"I'm.. I'm sorry, Tito."
Ngumiti si Bright, "Nahh, it's fine. It's already been years since.... I'm happy now. And I believe he is too."
Humarap si Bright kay Thyme. "What happened, Thyme? What went wrong with your relationship with him?" Bright asked.
Thyme heavily sighed. Binalik niya ang litrato kay Bright. Umiling iling si Bright. "His job... his job requires him to risk his life and I.. don't want that. The night when I saw him, lying on the hospital bed while doctors are reviving him... I just knew that I can't.." tumulo ang luha ni Thyme
"...I can't watch him fight for his life everytime.. I can't watch him save lives when he himself is at risk for losing his own life.."
"You know what Thyme, I totally get you. The fear of losing someone you love sucks big time. I know that, I've been through that. When Win told me he's got cancer, ang unang pumasok agad sa isip ko magpapagaling siya, gagaling siya. But when I actually saw him suffering, being in pain, that's when the fear of losing him crept in. That's when I realize, I will lose him. Naiintindihan ko kung san nanggagaling yung takot mo, Thyme. Dahil tulad mo doble rin ang naging takot ko.." hinawakan ni Bright ang kamay ng pamangkin.
"..pero hindi ako nagpadala sa takot, Thyme. I knew he was dying, but I chose not to leave his side. But your case with your boyfriend is different. Bakit ka natatakot sa isang bagay na hindi naman siguradong mangyayari? Aren't you willing to take a risk for him?"
Matagal bago sumagot si Thyme. It's also his question for a while now. If he's willing to risk it all? For Kavin? But seeing how Kavin fight for his life, parang sinasaksak na ang puso niya.
"How will I know if he's worth the risk? How will I know when all I can feel is fear?" agad pinunasan ni Thyme ang luha na pumatak sakanyang mata.
"Kahit alam kong mawawala sa akin si Win, I risked it all kahit sa huli alam ko ring masasaktan ako. You know why? Because I love him so much. The question is, do you love him?"
"Of course, Tito. Mahal ko si Kavin. Mahal na mahal ko po siya. And I've never felt this to anyone else before."
"Then that answered your question.. Thyme, I want you to remember that love can't exist without fear. If the thought of losing someone you love doesn't scare you then that isn't love."
Hindi napigilan ni Thyme na yakapin ang kanyang Tito dahil sa mga sinabi nito. Hinaplos ni Bright ang likuran ng pamangkin.
"My story with Win may be a bittersweet encounter," humiwalay si Bright sa pagkakayakap at hinawakan ang pisngi ni Thyme
"and that we didn't have our happily ever after... But in this lifetime, he is and you are each other's happily ever after, Thyme." Bright smiled.
Hinatid ni Bright ang pamangkin hanggang sa entrance ng hotel. Tinapik tapik niya ang balikat ni Thyme.
"It was really nice meeting you, Thyme."
"It's also my pleasure to meet you, Tito. Pasensiya na kung nakaistorbo pa ako sa trip niyo."
"What? Of course not! Pambawi ko sayo 'to at sa pamilya dahil sa ilang beses na hindi ko pag-attend ng family reunion."
Thyme smiled, "Thank you so much for your time, Tito. I really hope to see you again if time permits."
Tumango si Bright.. "Gusto ko lang din pala sabihin sayo, Thyme that it's okay to take a break. It's okay to pause for a while when everything seems to be... empty. Don't be so hard on yourself.."
Thyme nodded and then hugged Bright for the last time.
•~•~•
"Walang laman ang pantry at ref mo.." Kelly said when she checked Kavin's pantry.
Sa apartment na ni Kavin siya nagpahatid at nagpasyang magpahinga. Dahil tapos na rin naman ang misyon niya sa Guevarra ay wala na siyang dahilan para manuluyan sa mansyon.
"I just came back here, Kelly kaya wala talagang laman yan." sagot ni Kavin at naupo sa sofa ng dahan-dahan.
It's been a week eversince he got discharged at ngayon ay nagpapagaling nalang talaga siya.
"Okay, mag-ggrocery muna ako. May nakita akong grocery store sa baba." ani Kelly at kinuha ang kanyang bag
"Kelly, can you get my wallet for me?" pigil ni Kavin sa kapatid, inabot naman ni Kelly ang wallet nito.
Kavin got his atm card and gave it to Kelly. "Ano 'to?" takang tanong niya
"Pang grocery mo, buy everything you want and you need." Kavin said
Binalik ni Kelly ang card ng kapatid, "Hindi na. May pera naman ako."
"Kunin mo na, Kelly. Sige na. Ipunin mo muna iyang pera mo hangga't sa makahanap ka ng trabaho atsaka naman ikaw ang totoka sa monthly grocery." tumatawang sabi ni Kavin
"But Kav.."
"Kelly, marami akong pagkukulang sayo bilang kapatid mo.. And now I have my second chance in life to make it up to you."
Kelly sighed. "Babawi ako sa susunod na buwan." tumango lang si Kavin.
"Mabilis lang ako," paalam muli ni Kelly.
Pag-alis ni Kelly ay napatitig si Kavin sa kabuuan ng apartment. It's been a while since he came back home here. Dahil ayaw niyang nakaupo lang siya ay kinuha niya ang vacuum at nagsimulang maglinis ng kanyang apartment. Atsaka niya naisip si Thyme. Ang alam niya'y nakauwi na ito sa mansyon ilang araw na rin ang nakakalipas.
Kavin didn't want to be disrespectful kaya naman hinayaan niya muna si Thyme to do his thing. Atsaka niya kakausapin ang nobyo kapag sa tingin niya ay nabigyan niya na ito ng sapat na oras para sa sarili. Pinatay niya ang vacuum ng marinig ang doorbell. Napailing si Kavin. Mukhang hindi nadala ni Kelly ang susi.
"Wala kang susi-" nawala ang ngiti ni Kavin ng makita si Thyme pagbukas niya ng pinto. Ilang segundo pa silang nagka-titigan bago mabalik sa realidad si Kavin.
"Hi. I mean anong ginagawa mo rito? Uhh, teka pasok ka pala." natatarantang sabi ni Kavin.
Tahimik na pumasok si Thyme. He looked around Kavin's apartment.
"Sorry medyo.. medyo makalat pa. Uhm, tubig? Juice? Shit wala palang laman ang ref.." Kavin whispered the last sentence
"Tubig? Tubig nalang?" tarantang tanong ni Kavin.
Sobrang natataranta at nagwawala ang sistema niya dahil nakita niya ngayon si Thyme. It's like it's been a year ever since he last saw Thyme kahit na ilang linggo lang naman talaga.
"No, it's okay. I'm fine." Thyme said, "I just... I need to talk to you." seryosong sabi ni Thyme
Kinakabahan man ay ngumiti si Kavin, "Sure."
"Of course you know that I already know everything." si Thyme
"Yes.. And Thyme I'm so sorry, I'm sorry. Forgive me baby, I'm sorry.."
"Let me finish first, Kavin." natahimik si Kavin.
"Even with everything I knew, even with the fact that you lied to me, I accepted it. Tinanggap ko dahil mahal kita, Kavin. Kahit masakit na yung taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo ay nagawang magsinungaling sayo, tinanggap ko parin Kavin. Pero alam mo ang hindi ko natanggap?"
Nagsimulang magtubig ang mga mata ni Thyme. "Hindi ko matanggap na makita kang nag-aagaw buhay right before my eyes, Kavin. Masakit lahat ng katotohanang nalaman ko pero bakit mas masakit ng makita kitang halos wala ng buhay sa harapan ko?"
"Baby, I'm.." akmang lalapit si Kavin pero bahagyamg lumayo si Thyme
"Sobra-sobra yung takot ko Kavin. Yung galit na naramdaman ko dahil sa pagsisinungaling mo sakin lahat napalitan ng takot. Ng takot na baka mawala ka sakin, na baka talagang..." Thyme sobbed, "na baka talagang hinintay mo lang akong dalawin ka para makapag-paalam.."
"Thyme.. Baby.. That's not true. The reason I was able to wake up is because I heard your voice. I heard your voice and I followed it." paliwanag ni Kavin
Napahikbi si Thyme. Muling naalala sakanyang isipan ang pag-aagaw buhay ni Kavin sa ospital. Lumapit si Kavin at hinawakan ang mukha ng nobyo. "I'm sorry... I'm sorry if I scared you baby, I can't promise you na hindi na mauulit yun because it's part of my job.. But for you, baby. For you Thyme, mag-iingat ako. Mas mag-iingat ako para sayo. I'm sorry okay? I'm sorry. I love you so much."
Hinalikan ni Kavin si Thyme kahit na humihikbi parin at tuloy tuloy ang patak ng luha ni Thyme. Thyme broke the kiss.
"I've never been so scared of losing something in my life, Kav. I don't want... I don't want to lose you. Please, mahal na mahal kita at hindi ko na kakayanin kapag may nangyaring masama ulit sayo." tumango si Kavin atsaka niyakap ng mahigpit si Thyme.
"I'm sorry if it took me days before I visited you. I was waiting for something to be done first before I finally come back to you." dagdag pa ni Thyme. Naghiwalay sila sa pagyayakapan.
Kavin looked at Thyme.
"I waited for the divorce papers to be approved first, Kavin. Iyon lang naman ang hiling ng Mom and Dad, at iyon din ang tamang gawin bago ako tuluyang bumalik sayo. I had to do things right first."
Kavin attacked Thyme's lips. Napakawit ang braso ni Thyme sa leeg ng nobyo. Dahan-dahang napaatras si Kavin at umupo sa sofa. Thyme straddled at him. Hinaplos ni Thyme ang mukha ni Kavin..
"I love you so much, Kavin."
"I love you so much more, Thyme. Mahal na mahal kita, kahit hanggang kabilang buhay pa, mahal kita."
Thyme smiled and kissed Kavin. They were exchanging hungry french kisses. Kavin inserted his hand inside Thyme's polo shirt and caressed his naked back.
"Ay kabayong nangabayo! Ay bastos! Ako! Bastos ako sorry!" sigaw ni Kelly at agad na napatalikod kaya napahinto si Thyme at Kavin, tarantang napatayo si Thyme at inayos ang polo na suot.