He holds her fingers tightly, rubbing them with his palm. Their eyes flick to the bed and its pure white sheets that are just waiting to have bodies entangled within them. The rose petals, so particularly placed to make a heart. He hadn't planned this; the heart, what she was wearing, what he was wearing, but still he wanted so badly to be with her. He needed to show her how much he had missed her. Her calfs hit the mattress and he takes her delicate body in his arms, laying her down on the center of the bed. She doesn't attempt to get up and his knees land beside her thighs. Their heavy puffs of air warm the room and there is a slight scent of lavenders from the unlit candles on the nightstand. His hands press down next to her shoulders and he hovers over her, his heart pounding against his ribs while he swallows nervously. The second that their lips brush, she gasps. He pulls away immediately, sensing her hesitancy.
"I have to...." She starts, getting up.
"Yeah me too." He nods.
"You should go to sleep- because of... the uhm- the jet lag." She breathes while walking to the door.
"Yes. Do you want dinner? It's supposed to be delicious here." He asks as he pulls his bags to one side of the room.
"Yeah... no but yeah. But no."
"You don't know?" He asks.
"I do. But I can't."
"You want the food but you don't want to talk to me?" He asks.
"Exactly! I mean- no." She blushes.
"It's okay. We can talk later. Let's go to the lounge and I'll get a steak for both of us. You can take yours to go." He smiles.
She nods indistinguishably and he chuckles.
They head down the stairs and he orders her a steak to go with potatoes and gravy.
"So... are you happy?" He asks as they wait.
"Uhm... kind of." She mumbles, stirring the ice in her drink.
"Oh." He sighs and takes a deep sip of the scotch.
"How about you? You did a clinical trial and I read about it." She says as she slurps through her straw.
"Yeah, yeah. I did a clinical trial and it was successful. It just needs to be picked up by a medical journal. The FDA approves." He nods, unenthusiastically.
"The skin grafts look amazing. Maybe you can show me sometime?" She asks hopefully.
"Yes! Yeah. I would love to." His back straightens and she smiles.
"Next week maybe?" She asks.
"Of course. Make sure you are healed fully." He says.
"I'm basically done healing. Just the stitches have to close." She sighs, placing a hand on her stomach.
"Do you need help... changing dressings?" He asks.
"No. I'm fine. I can handle it." She smiles politely and drinks her water carefully as not to get too cold.
"Here is your food." The waiter puts a plate of steak in front of Mark and a paper bag in front of Meredith.
"Thank you." Mark nods handing the man his credit card.
"You should get going and sleep early." He nods.
"Yeah. I should." She smiles before turning around.
He sighs and watches her walks away before turning to his food. Suddenly it looks less appetizing and the colors aren't as bright. The waiter comes back with his card before handing it to him.
"Have a nice night sir." He nods.
"You too." Mark smiles, placing a spoonful of mashed potatoes in his mouth. It is warm but it doesn't taste as delicious.
"I changed my mind." Meredith's voice enters his ears and he turns to look at her. She is smiling wide and he stares.
"Wha-" He starts. She walks back to him and sits on a barstool.
"I will eat with you." She claims nonchalantly before holding his arm and resting her head on his shoulder.
"You will?" He asks.
"Hmhmm." She nods.
He smiles and pulls the plate in front of them. Gently, he lets the spoon collect mashed potatoes and bringing them to her mouth, he watches as she eats them.
"I can't finish this on my own." He says, taking a large bite.
"We can do it together." She murmurs.
He watched as she lifts herself straight and grabs a sharp knife. Her cuts on the streak are clean and neat making him chuckle. She feeds it to him before taking a bite herself.
"Oh my-" She gets cut off by he groans in pleasure.
"That is wonderful." He mumbles taking another bite and another, feeding Meredith every few seconds. Within minutes, the plate is empty and they are laughing at everything.
"Ah, the was perfect." He says as they get up.
"It was. Probably the best steak ever." She sighs happily.
He places fifteenth dollars at the bar and the man thanks him.
"So... it's not too late. Do you want to take a walk?" He asks.
She looks at her watch and sighs.
"I can't. I have an early surgery tomorrow at 4 in OR 6. Maybe you come watch me and we can take a walk after or get breakfast or both?" She asks.
"I'll be there." He moves his hand to hers.
She locks their pinky's and he smiles as they walk into the parking lot. She stands in front of her car and he tugs her fingers, coaxing her to turn towards him. He leans down and holds her cheeks. Before he can do anything, she shakes her head.
"I can't." She whispers, stepping into his grip.
"It's okay." He nods, rubbing her temple.
"Good night." She whispers.
"Will you go to the prom with me in a week?" He asks as he pulls away and steps back while holding her cheeks.
"I'll get back to you." She smiles as he nods.
He turns around and feels his fingers being pulled. She grabs his collar and presses her lips into his cheek. When she pulls away, he watches her get into the car, flabbergasted.
One week later
"Hey." Addison smiles as Derek limps into the trailer.
"Hey." He nods and leans his crutches against the walls.
"Did you catch anything good today?" She asks.
"Nope. Just trout. I'll make eggs." He sighs.
"It's okay. I'm not hungry and I don't feel like eating." She shakes.
"You have to eat Addie. Just have a few bites at least." He says as he flips an omelet. The toaster sounds and two pieces spring up. He places it all on a plate at the table. He cooks himself eggs and toast before sitting opposite her.
"I think you should go to the ferryboats. Help you get peace with your leg." She says softly.
"I am fine and so is my leg. Besides, I don't like ferryboats." He shakes his head at her comment, his mood already ruined.
"Derek. It's not healing." Addison whispers.
"Worry about the baby, not me okay?" He asks sarcastically as he chews his toast.
"Since when did you hate ferryboats?" She asks.
"I guess I'm just not as into them as I used to be." He claims.
That was the worst lie he had ever told. How could he not like ferryboats if he had loved them his whole life? The truth was that he missed Meredith. They had gone to the ferryboats every single day whether it was nighttime or early in the morning.
"I'll try the ferryboats." He says softly, putting his dishes in the sink before pulling on navy scrubs. He groans gently as he grabs his crutches. As he drives, he thinks involuntarily about her on the ferryboat. The wind in her golden hair that she would always tie it back and tuck it in her shirt. He would always untie it and let it flow over his face while holding her waist. He gets out of the car at the docks and takes a deep breath of the salty air. If only it smelled like it did when he was with Meredith. He walks to the second-highest floor, getting looks at his limp. Bracing the dark green railing, he looks out over Elliot Bay as he remembers his favorite conversations with her.
"Why do you ride the ferryboat every day?" She asks as he tightens his grip around her fingers.
"It balances out my self-confidence. Some people are arrogant doctors because they think they are perfect. The ferryboat reminds me that I am one person in 7 billion." He says as she pulls his arms around her waist.
"It does make people seem incredibly insignificant doesn't it?"
"Yeah." He chuckles as she turns in his arms.
He corners her at the edge of the railing with his arms while he smiles. She holds his jaw and scratches gently before standing on her tips toes. He leans down and meets her lips softly. Her arms wrap his neck and she tugs on the hair on his nape, the raven locks surrendering their tangles to her fingers. His hands slide off the railing and onto her hips. He grips tightly and small, incoherent sounds leave his throat. Her tongue tangles with his and he can't breathe. She starts getting lightheaded when he rips their lips apart grudgingly. They laugh hoarsely while he wraps her neck with his strong arms. He pushes her hair to one side and buries his face in her neck, making her laugh.
"You aren't insignificant to me." Her giggles fill his ears and he takes a deep breath.
"I better not be." He jokes as he lifts her on his shoulders.
"Woah!" She squeals as he walks with slight difficulty.
"Let's go." He laughs, carrying her to the bottom and grabbing a rope before handing it to her.
"What are we doing?" She asks as he takes another rope, takes off his shoes, and rolls up his pants to his knees.
"Trust me." He says softly as he pulls off his socks.
She does the same and he sits on the hardwood followed by Meredith. He edges closer to the water and grips the rope tightly. She laughs and sits on the edge next to him, holding the rope.
"Did you know that Puget Sound has dolphins?" He asks.
Her mouth drops and she gently wraps her arms around his torso. The water runs over their calves. He pulls her in and kisses her head snaps as they watch the sun move lower in the sky which is a shade of purple and pink, sprinkled with orange and red. His chest rises and falls in rhythm with hers and she looks up to him.
He shakes his head as he watches the sunrise. The coffee in his hand is now cold and he stands on the edge of the ferryboat, watching the trails of white foam parting ways. Everything about the night they spent was the best. The conversation, the food, the sex, and there was nothing wrong. He remembers how soft her skin feels against his, how minty her breath is on his face, how soothing her voice is. He can recall the taste of her lipgloss- not lipstick because she hated the texture of it, cherry. She tasted like fresh cherries and smelled like flowers. She was funny and he watches her always. Rooms with her were his favorite, pictures with her were his favorite, and memories with her were his favorite.
"Sir? We are in Seattle." A crewmate taps his shoulders and he nods before taking off his shoes and socks.
"I'll go again." Derek nods handing a ten-dollar bill to the man who walks away, utterly confused.
He sits on the edge of the boat and holds a rope from the side of the boat. It is quiet as the crew prepares for the next load of people. The water cools his feet and he hears a light clicking. Looking around he sees a fin in the water, getting closer. Its clicking is a little louder and another joins in. He smiles and dips his hand into the water. The dolphin lets him pet it gently and another jumps out of the water to splash back down. The one he is petting leaves and he watches them swim away together. They jump out of the water and click some more before the sound of the ferryboat scares them away. They were mates, he could just tell. They loved each other... not the way he and Addison are. The way he and Meredith used to be.
"Are you alright?" She asks, taking off her shoes as he turns around and smiles.
"Yeah. Yeah. I'm fine." He nods as she sits beside him.
"Derek." She says holding the edge of the ferryboat.
"Yeah?" He asks.
"We need to talk." She sighs.
"Is something wrong?" He asks again.
"Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to tell you something." She inches closer to him and he watches her hand move to his.
"I'm listening. You tell me the problem and I'll tell you how to fix it." He grabs her hand and she lets her fingers lock his. She tightens her grip around his hand and rests her head on his shoulder. She breathes heavily and he simply watches the foam of the water spread across the shiny, blue surface.
"I've been trying to hide how I feel... for a while now." She starts hesitantly, as he freezes. His palms start to sweat and he looks at her, trying to read her expression. Was she going to tell him what he has been waiting to hear for so long?
"I need... I need you not to freak out okay?" She asks, meeting his eyes and squeezing his hand.
"Okay. Yeah. I won't. But, you should know that you are scaring me." He says shakily, his heart rate rising.
"I've been thinking about... about that morning. A lot." She whispers quietly, barely audible over the ferryboat. His breathing becomes more hoarse and he gasps desperately.
"Yeah, me too." He admits nervously.
"I fell for you... again." She says with tears in her eyes.
He nods for her to continue as she wipes her eyes.
"That morning, and everything else. I realized that I've felt this for a long time." She sighs as he lets his eyes tear.
"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" He asks.
"I was afraid... I was afraid of getting hurt again." She sighs.
He tightens his grip around her fingers and brings them to his lips, gently placing a kiss in the back of her hand.
"I would never, ever try to hurt you." He reassures.
"There are so many other reasons." She sniffles.
"You know that I made a mistake, going back to her. I would take it back in a second if it meant that I could be with you." He says.
"I know but what happens... if I say 'yes' to this and then you become a dad? What are we going to become when you have a baby?" She asks as he reaches with his other hand to wipe her evergreen eyes that seem to be flourishing in the daylight.
"I don't know." He shakes his head.
"Things won't be the same. Everything will change."
"One thing, that will never change- and I mean it when I say never- is my love for you." He says moving closer to her.
"You don't know that." She sighs.
"Have I told you about when I realized I had fallen in love with you?" He asks, ignoring her comment.
She shakes her head and he sighs.
"It was early December and it was cold. I was walking into the hospital and you were holding your coat around you, trying to warm up. I swear your face was red. I bought you a hot chocolate at the coffee cart and you said you were going to see me after for supervision when you were going to be drilling burr holes. Later that day, I walked into surgery with you and I couldn't keep my eyes off you. Your hair was pulled back and it smelled amazing, like lavender. You just started doing the hole and I wasn't paying attention to anything but you. The way you smelled, the movements of your hands, the gentleness of your skills. I started to say it right then and there but you finished it. Perfectly." He smiles, biting his lip.
"I'm sorry. I didn't notice." She replies.
"Every minute that I've been with Addison after I left you is filled with pain and regret." He sighs.
"The baby is coming, this can't happen." She rubs her eyes.
"Just today? Can you do it just one day?" He begs, holding her cheek and running his nose down hers as she breathes out in lust.
She pushes her lips into his and they both take a sharp breath through their nose and she leans down and his tongue runs over her lips, moaning in pleasure knowing that she is thinking of him and only him. Their fingers separate and she wraps her arms around his neck, gripping the hair on his nape. He traces her curves and feels her sucking on his bottom lip. Adrenaline rushes through his body and she pulls him on top of her. The loud honking of the ferryboat makes them shake and he gets up in shock. She wipes her lips and stands before putting on her socks and shoes as he does the same thing.
"One day." She sighs.
"Okay." He says.
"Breakfast?" She asks.
"Yes. Of course." He nods.
They walk off the ferryboat and she gently rubs the back of his with the back of hers. It makes him smile in pure bliss as he lets her step forward and slides his fingers through hers. His palms are rough and hers are soft and she looks up to him to see a pair of bright blue eyes staring back. This is a blissful moment between the two of them that he has waited for... for years.
"It's just one day right?" He asks.
"Let's not think about how much time there is." She sighs.
"You know, the chief's niece is still waiting for her prom." He says as they eat pancakes. She chuckles lightly and smirks.
"Yes?" She nods.
"If it's not too much trouble..." He trails as she puts her utensils down and sits back, focusing on him.
"Trouble?" She asks, raising her eyebrows and crossing her arms.
"If you aren't busy-" He starts as she nods. He takes a deep breath and starts laughing nervously. She watches him stand up and kneel beside her.
"Would you like to go to the prom... with me tonight?" He asks.
"Oh." She gasps quietly.
"That doesn't sound so good." He sighs.
"It's just- I already told someone else that I was thinking about going. I can try to help you plan it though." She says.
He sits back in the chair and smiles wide, trying to cover his face.
"I'm sorry." She says, leaning forward and reaching for his hand.
"It's okay. I'm fine." He says softly, wiping his top lip.
"I'm not a prom girl. You know?" She asks.
"Can I know who asked or is it who I think it is?" He asks.
"You know already. He asked the night he got back." She nods.
"I can't believe him. He's been away for 5 months and he's already trying to get you back." Derek scoffs.
"Derek. If I make a decision, I'll let you know." She says as the waiter hands him the check.
"Okay." He nods putting a card in the black leather folder before handing it back to her.
"You have surgery around right now don't you?" She asks.
"Yeah, yeah I do. But I can postpone it if you want to walk around... or other things." He claims.
I think I do... want to walk around." She nods.
"Let's go." He smiles, putting a ten-dollar bill on the table.
"Do you have any pain?" She asks, holding his arm as they walk.
"It does, yeah. 10/10 every morning till I take the meds, then it hurts like hell at night when they wear off. They numb my feet and I would hate them but I can't operate without them." He sighs as they walk into the plaza. There is a water fountain and she laughs, running away from him.
"What?! What's so funny?!" He laughs with her as she pulls him to the center of the park. The people in the park look at them as he gets dragged to the edge of the fountain.
"Look, people drop coins in and wish for their biggest dreams to come true." She says as he sits on the stone edge.
"Come here." He says, pulling her legs between his.
"Do you have a penny?" She asks, resting her hands on his shoulders and kneading into them.
"Does it have to be a penny?" He asks, fishing in his coat.
"It works best when it's a penny, your wishes come true faster." She claims nonchalantly as she lets herself sit in his lap. He pulls out a dime and penny and sighs.
"These are the only coins I have." He says holding them out.
She frowns and he looks up, disappointed in himself.
"Okay, look. You take the penny and I'll take the dime." He nods.
"No. That's ridiculous, I couldn't take this." She whines.
"Oh come on now, you make it sound like it's a baby that we are talking about. It's just a coin. Take it and toss it. I want you to be happy anyways. I can wait for my dreams to come true." He jokes, placing the penny in her palm and closing her fist around it.
"Are you sure?" She asks.
"Yes! Meredith, just take the penny." He sighs as she wraps her arms around his neck.
"Thank you!" She squeals as she hugs him.
"It's not a problem Mer. What are you wishing for?" He asks as he lifts her up and gently lets her step on the pavement.
"I can't tell you what I'm wishing for." She says closing her eyes and holding out the penny on her thumb.
"Okay. Together?" He asks, holding her free hand.
"3" She smiles as she gets ready to flip her penny.
"2" He nods, staring to believe his wish was coming true already.
"1" They both flip their coins into the water and open their eyes before laughing at each other.
"I forgot how good this feels." He says as they walk on the boardwalk. Kids are playing and run past them every few feet, making them laugh and point in awe.
"The boardwalk?" She asks, holding his torso.
He chuckles and turns to her at the end of the dock.
"No, I forgot how good you feel." He says softly, holding her cheeks and stroking them with his thumbs.
His hands travel back into her hair and he leans in until their lips are brushing. Butterflies rise in his stomach and she rests her hands on the sides of his torso. Her stomach flips and she takes a sharp breath as his lips gently push into hers.
Kissing the woman he loves is a pleasure beyond imagination. His hands trace her shape to her waist while hers grip his nape. Everything about him is perfect, maybe he had made an honest mistake trying to protect her feelings. The cold wind blows on their faces sending a chill down his spine. She shivers and he turns her to block her from the windchill. His tongue runs over her upper lip and she opens her mouth slowly, meeting his in the middle. They pull away, gasping for breath and she fixes her gaze on his chest, rubbing it gently while trying to calm herself.
"You're shaking and cold." He pants, pulling off his coat and putting it around her before zipping it up.
"You're warm. Hot almost." She whispers, trying not to look at his face, worried that she will feel what she doesn't want to.
Word Count: 4034