Taehyung's breath felt constructed, the same scene playing in his head countless times that his brain seemed to malfunction. His head hurt, the throat felt clogged that he had to cough just incase there was actually something stuck in it.
"Be strong, be strong, be strong" he mumbled quite a few more times, he didn't want to get a panick attack not again,not after all these years, his head had started now pounding, the loud of voice echoing in his ears seemed to beat in his ears.
Music would always distract him, he always put the damn music on the highest volume so that he could distract himself from the voices in his head.
"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!", he screamed as if he wasn't the one to put the music, he wanted peace, music was his scolded peace. The kind of peace that doesn't arrive until he scolded in loud voices resonating in his ears.
"He isn't alive! He isn't alive! He isn't alive!", another sound of loud yells got mixed with the music going on around.
He fisted his shirt above his chest trying to breath, his mind running the mini nightmare in the broad daylight of sun, but his room was all in darkness.
A loud howl was heard and echoed in his room, he tried to control himself trying not to be weak and affected by it anymore.
"Taetae my baby bear come for dinner sweetheart"
"Taehyung my boy throw the ball higher, make your appa proud!"
"Eomma likes to fill her Taetae's tummy"
"Appa is proud of you my boy"
Taehyung sobbed seeing his mother's and father's blurred smiling faces, the way his mother smiled at him when he stepped out of his room to eat dinner. The way his father had puffed his chest out when Taehyung had succeeded to pass the basketball through the ring.
"Sta-stay strong... I'm so-sorry to leave you alone my boy"
"I lo-love you Taetae, please stay safe for your eo-eomma"
Taehyung along with his wolf howled in utter sadness, when his mind had played the scene of his father and mother laying in pools of their own blood.
He could feel those arms around him dragging him out of his home, the heat he had felt from his house when it was set on fire his parents being burnt to death, his heaven on earth his home was burning in front of his eyes.
The fire was reflecting in his eyes, his sobs were being muffled with the large palm on his mouth, he tried to get away from the strong hold he tried to go to his parents.
All his attempts turned into ashes in the heating flames of his home.
He doesn't have a single picture of his parents, now their faces were turning into blurred memories, their touches on his skin didn't linger anymore, he couldn't even remember the soft touch of his mother on his forehead and his father's rough hands patting his back.
They say time heals all the wounds, but Taehyung's wounds only seemed to dig deeper and deeper by passing time.
"How long?" Taehyung laid on his back staring at his ceiling his chest heaving up and down, "How long I'm gonna keep on this facade?"
His mind felt at peace finally, the scolded peace remember? The peace that made Taehyung look around the room, the same room where he was almost raped, the room that monster lived.
Taehyung weirdly wanted to torture himself those memories, he looked at the balcony the same one where the late King was being pushed off to death.
"How long to pretend, I'm okay? How long to pretend I'm over it? How long I'm supposed to breath when all I want to do is stop my breath?" Taehyung muttered walking towards the balcony, without opening the sliding glass his bloodshot eyes scanning over the ground covered in greenery of grass.
His gaze travelled towards the sky, he grimaced at the thought there weren't stars in the day, he would have talked to his mother and father who were now stars that's how kids were told that their parents were with them.
Why didn't they name something that could be the dead people in day? Like there are no stars in day. Where is a kid going to find their parents in daylight?
Kid, Taehyung has always been a kid to his parents. His parents took his care just like he was five year old even when he turned seventeen. There was sweetness and happiness all around him smile never seemed to step down his lips.
World suddenly pushed him into bitterness and agony, being locked in that dungeon sucking the previous Alpha's dick- being kissed, and touched without his consent. All though the previous Alpha didn't go all the way through, Taehyung was still disgusted with himself.
Everytime Jungkook touched Taehyung, it felt like the bad touches were being erased away from the Queen's body leaving only Jungkook's touch lingering on his skin.
Jungkook was the only one who Taehyung had to call his own, to call his family.
But no alpha likes a touched omega, and Taehyung isn't telling Jungkook a single thing about the late King for the purple head the existence of the previous King would just be almost non-existent.
He turned off the speaker he was finally feeling better after hours of hurt and pain, he cleaned himself made himself look okay and came out of the bathroom and dressed himself again sitting with his laptop.
There was a knock on his door, after a few minutes making him stand up and open the door seeing a smiling Jungkook with a plate of brownies.
"I made brownies hyungie!" Jungkook cheered and invited himself in the room the room heavily smelt like vanilla, his gaze travelled around seeing two three candles still burning.
Taehyung wasn't fond of sniffing his own sour and saddened scent ofcourse.
"May I taste?" Taehyung closed the door behind and walked towards the younger who excited placed the plate in front of Taehyung's face.
A humm left Taehyung's throat and was heard through his closed lips, he looked at Jungkook amazed.
"They are fabulous" Taehyung smiled though his lips seemed to struggle to lift themselves into a smiling curve.
"I- I prepared them as an apology to touch you like that" Jungkook chewed on his bottom lip, looking down at Taehyung who whose lips threatened to twitch in annoyance.
"Like I have said, it's completely fine" Taehyung ate the cube of brownie fully and clapped his hands to get rid of the crumbles.
"Infact I think it would be better if you actually portray yourself the way you are rather than keeping up your facade", irony Taehyung was speaking those words being a whole hypocrite.
"I'm not keeping myself in a facade" Jungkook grumbled shoving a piece of brownie and started to babble words while chewing the brownie and all Taehyung did was stare at the younger with adoration.
"I wanted to ask you a few things" Jungkook said in clear words after gulping the brownie that left a sweet taste lingering in his mouth.
"Ask Koo" Taehyung sat on the bed and Jungkook literally waddled towards the older and started to cuddle the mint haired omega.
"How did your late husband die? Are you still sad over his death? Did you love him so much that you got so mad at Hobi hyung for bringing out his topic?" Jungkook fired all his questions roaming in his mind, his and cuddled closer to Taehyung unconsciously rubbing his scent all over the omega.
Taehyung took a deep breath trying not to go into another mental breakdown or panick attack.
"My late husband died a natural death. I don't think I'm sad anymore. I-" Taehyung gritted his teeth but he needed to speak it out anyways, "I did love him and I'm mad and Hoseok for another reason"
"Did you love him more than me?" Jungkook tightened his hold around Taehyung, the omega looked at the alpha his eyes clearly held the emotion of jealousy and anger.
"I can never love someone more than you Jungkook" Taehyung bopped Jungkook's nose with his own as he saw the younger's facial features scrunching in the most adorable way.
"I love you" Jungkook grumbled and laid on the bed and slapped the laptop close again and kept it on the side table, laying his head on the older's thighs.
"I'm happy that you told to shift me here, I'mma cuddle with you everyday now" Jungkook said stuffing his face in Taehyung's tummy and drifted off to a nap with the older massaging his scalp.
Taehyung just smiled this time genuinely seeing Jungkook sleep on his lap with soft snores, his lips were parted with his bunny like teeth coming into view.
"I thought wolves hunt bunnies, never thought a werewolf would be a bunny" Taehyung pinched Jungkook's nose and Jungkook turned his head again and shoving it into Taehyung's tummy.
Taehyung thought about his life looking at Jungkook, even after all the winters the spring day arrives that's for sure but what about the harsh heating summer that is following after the spring not to forget the monsoon?
"It's not a Disney movie that would actually have a 'happily ever after', Disney is shit" Taehyung grumbled, his paranoid mind already training itself to get ready for something he could never be previously ready for.