CHAPTER XVII
TSUBAKI'S POINT OF VIEW
Winter has always been my favorite season. For those short icy months the entire world prepares to be reborn; blanketed in complete white like a fresh canvas being placed down just before fresh colors can be spilled on it. Families walk holding hands, their kids rambling on about presents and their favorite dishes while parents listen willingly. Bright decorations meant to incite joy and merriment are hung all over Konoha, from its bare trees to twinkling Christmas lights adorned buildings. And as a cherry on top, everyone gets together to celebrate the Winter Festival.
Fireworks, food, and games galore all set out on a closed street ready to greet eager patrons. Couples will kiss under the mistletoe archway, kids will run around in their seasonal clothing, and then everyone of all ages will find a place to sip cocoa and watch the night sky be lit up. There isn't any reason not to enjoy the festival or winter.
But lately, it just seems to be a storm for trouble. Without getting a wink of sleep last night, I stared up at my ceiling thinking about everything. Danzo, the masked man, Itachi being a double agent. I thought about how I was too scared to fall asleep and see that monster again - to feel myself be suffocated. I thought about how the dancing shadows in my room were the only people I could talk to because no one else knew.
And I thought about how I didn't regret anything. Not confronting the Third Hokage and not my decision to pursue an ugly truth. At dawn, the Hokage's personal messenger hawk delivered a short note stating that the double agent has orders to wait at the cherry blossom garden during the festival just before the fireworks would go off.
'What would I say? When Itachi-san is standing there, what do I say?' That question still plagued my mind even as Kakashi and I were walking to the Uchiha Compound. Shikamaru opted to go with our mother, Dad was called to consult on some private matter and promised to find us later. Much of the snow's padded layers had been shoveled aside so others may walk easily, which is convenient considering I'm not that far off from the ground.
I tried not to ponder on the 'what if's for too long. It would only distract me from my real purpose of setting up this meeting. Even more, I couldn't afford to be discouraged. This sinking guilt at the pit of my stomach wouldn't allow it. Itachi deserves to know, and so did I. We needed each other if we wanted to stop chasing our own tails.
'Do they think I can't sense them?' Three chakra signatures have been following me since yesterday, right after I left Hokage Tower. Hiruzen has no reason to keep me on surveillance, so that could only mean they had different owners. Immediately, Danzo came to mind. He's vile and sinister, and...he knows. More than I do; more than the Hokage would ever share with me.
Kakashi seems unbothered, continuing to read his pervy book without any discretion. Some pedestrians we passed kept giving us looks, whispering to one another. I felt my eye begin to twitch, absolutely loathing that disgusting book. 'I want to burn them both.' Nevertheless, seeing him calm put me at ease. That pressure finally dispersing when the shadows disappeared soon as we neared the Uchiha compound's entrance.
Waiting out front was none other than Sasuke, Itachi, and unsurprisingly, Shisui. These three came as a set. Sasuke nearly broke into a grin beneath his fluffy blue scarf but caught himself at the last minute, wearing that same obstinate look he featured when trying to hold down his happiness. Whereas I flashed a toothy grin. "Evening everyone! Happy Holidays!"
"Yo," Shisui greeted back energetically. "Happy Holidays, Ms. Healer, Hatake-san."
Kakashi stashed away his book, giving a short lazy wave. "Ah, please feel free to just call me Kakashi. We're all off duty anyway." Both Itachi and Shisui nodded in understanding, seeming to relax slightly.
"Your winter kimono suits you," Itachi complimented, smiling warmly. Unlike Shisui who wore a thick dark blue winter yukata, or Sasuke who wore a similar colored yukata with little white stripes, Itachi was wearing a long-sleeved uniform usually worn by ANBU. Nothing festive about it.
Normally I would have teased him, but I was barely managing to keep the smile on my face from falling. "Thank you." Feeling like my expression would give away my inner thoughts, I skipped over to Sasuke pulling him along forcibly. "C'mon Sasuke! I want candy apple!"
"O-Oi, why are you pulling me?!"
"Hehehe. You look so cute in your yukata, Sasuke-kun."
His ears became a bright red, bottom lip jutting out as he turned his face away from my gaze. "S-Shut up, idiot."
I glanced back to see the three men following close behind, already trapped in their own small talk. 'Please be wrong...'
***
"Tsu-chan!" Emerging from the already crowded street way, not caring he bumped or shoved a person on his way, is Naruto Uzumaki. I'm not sure how he spotted us in the throng of visitors but I am still happy to see him in a bright mood. It feels like forever since we've seen each other. "You came," he panted, leaning on his knees for support. Beads of glistening sweat travel down the side of his whiskered face. "I saw Shikamaru, Ino, and Choji earlier without you. I was getting worried."
"Of course I would come. You didn't need to come rushing over like that." Using my sleeve I patted away at his rosy cheeks. The green scarf he is wearing today is the one I had gifted him last winter. It had also been my practice project for suturing so it wasn't exceptionally well done. But even when I made him a new one afterward Naruto refused to throw the tattered thing away.
He straightened up once gaining some breath back, that cheesy smile instantly falling into an unbecoming frown when his blue eyes found Sasuke next to me, hand-in-hand. "WHY IS TEME HERE?!" Several people glared in our direction, turning back around when realizing who was shouting.
Sasuke scoffed, tightening his grip around my palm. "Shut up, loudmouth."
"Who're you calling a loudmouth?!"
I sighed heavily, facepalming. The two bickering fools kept going, getting more and more heated with every insult. Their foreheads pressed against one another as they glared daggers into the other's soul, a battle of lightning going off between them. "Can't you guys get along for five minutes," I weakly requested.
In total synch, they turn to me, shouting, "He started it!"
I sighed inwardly, looking around for something to distract them. Fortunately, Kiba and Hinata were strolling over. "Oh, Hina, Kiba!" The two swerved in our direction. Akamaru hopped from Kiba's jacket, yipping happily as he jumped into my open arms. The poor puppy immediately shivering from the lack of warmth his previous owner could provide. I held him close, smiling apologetically.
"Starting a fight already," Kiba mused, looking at the two boys.
Hinata lingered behind Kiba shyly, keeping her gaze pointed at her feet the entire time. I slid over to her side, just catching the end of her stumbled greetings to everyone. "Hina-chan, you look cute in your kimono! Don't you think, Naruto?"
The blonde boy had Sasuke held by the collar of his clothes and vice versa. "Yeah, really cute," he answered without much thought, too focused on trying to shove Sasuke's head off his shoulders. But Hinata had taken it to heart. A fierce red grew from the base of her neck, straight to her head.
"C-C-C-C-" I quickly shoved Akamaru back into Kiba's arms, catching her before she toppled over and hit her head.
"Oi, is she okay?" Kiba rushed over, looking down into her swirling eyes. "Why do you keep fainting like this? Hina, hey, wake up!" A whimpering Akamaru tried rousing her with worried licks to her flustered cheek.
I laughed quietly, shifting her around so one of her arms held onto my shoulder for support. "She's fine. Can you stay with those two idiots? I'll take her to a rest tent." He nodded, Akamaru giving a dutiful yip. Sasuke and Naruto didn't even realize I had slipped away in search of a warm spot to lay Hinata down.
'Sorry, Hinata. I promise to make it up to you!' I felt bad using Hinata as a means of an escape, but this is the easiest way to get away unsuspected. Once making sure there was someone that could watch over her, I started heading in the direction of the cherry blossoms, doing my best to avoid running into anyone I knew.
The further I strayed from the market street, the less populated my surrounding became. Upon reaching the Sakura Garden there were a few couples scattered around. Fortunately the snow had been mostly shoveled from the walkways. Everyone started settling in favorable areas for viewing the firework display. 'Where is he?'
I couldn't find Itachi anywhere. My worry is that he'd decided not to come. That instead he would do something reckless just to keep his secret. The thought alone pricked and prodded at my already unsettled nerves. I knew - no, that's not right, I don't really know if Itachi would or wouldn't hurt me. Turns out there are a lot of things I didn't know about the boy I thought to be a friend.
What would say? Is there anything appropriate for this situation? The only question that's been running through my mind this entire time is Why? I don't know if I would be asking why he was doing this; or why he hadn't told me. The latter answer's is obvious - who am I for him to tell anything. But still, I thought that...I don't know what I thought.
I can't-
"Tsubaki."
That voice. Kami, that voice. I knew that voice.
It felt like the cold had become part of me. Every move becoming physically impossible without feeling some thundering heartache. But when I did, when I met eyes with him, he smiled sadly. No. This isn't how I imagined tonight would go. And as if assuring my eyes were not deceiving me, streams of glittering neon and gold pierced the night sky, exploding into a chandelier of colored light.
So clearly, all I could see was him.