BOOK- WRITTEN IN THE STARS
WRITER- shreya_2099
REVIEWER- Reeya_Reader_Writer
TITLE AND COVER- The title is okay I would say. "Written in stars" right away gave me a feeling about something related to destiny. So good job on this part. About the cover, I would say that it's too simple. You might take the help of a graphic designer for the same.
LANGUAGE AND WRITING STYLE - This is the most important thing about your work, so I decided to cover it first. Right from the blurb, it was difficult for me to get hold of the plot. I was intrigued by the title of your book, but the sentence construction, umm…. disappointed me. There are no full stops, nor any commas, apostrophes, exclamation marks and other important punctuation marks. Though quite small they may seem, but these punctuations are an elemental part of any work. Right from a small poem, to an entire book, punctuation marks and their proper usage is central to every language. For example, look at the blurb. Here the sentences are not separated by full stops which makes it look ambiguous and poses difficulty in reading. You might reconstruct it as,
" Six people separated their paths after they lost their most trusted one. However, destiny had some other plans for them. They all were brought back to the initial point of their journey. With mysteries unfolding, people returning from the past, witness an amazing journey of betrayal, friendship, angst and love."
Notice how a slight change in writing style has enriched your blurb. Try to work upon this part.
Let's take chapter 1 for another example to illustrate this point with a bit more clarity. Just take a glance at the second paragraph. I figured out that this was Naina's dream. However, in this paragraph, you ought to separate the dialogues of both Naina and Rajveer and that too using apostrophes or by writing the sentences in reported speech. Separate these sentences, punctuate them and see how your entire work gets enriched and enhanced automatically. Your entire book is replete with the lack of punctuations. Proof read your work and try to edit these parts because such a thing can pose difficulty in reading and sometimes readers get irked by such a thing.
GRAMMAR- Now this is another thing that caught my eye. While I have already stated few points above, I would like to talk about tenses here. Tenses are something that are fundamental to any type of language. In your work, I noticed that tenses are all jumbled up. Try to stick to past tense only and do not opt for any other form of tense, until absolutely necessary.
PLOT- The overall plot is good. I really liked the approach you adopted to begin the book. Instead of using the simple " Once upon a time" approach, you kickstarted your book by Naina's dream. It evoked curiousity in me. I appreciate this thing in your book.
OVERALL VIEW- I don't have much to talk about plot and character development, because I found it good. Try to work upon the above mentioned points and just correct them. Your plot is overall has a good idea.
All the best. Keep writing and feel free to contact me for any kind of help. :-)