Hard to Love (Bucky Barnes fa...

By Hoe4BuckyBarnes

1.5M 32.4K 40.9K

A/N: first few chapters are a bit 'cringy' with spelling errors (I write this on my phone) but if you can get... More

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Chapter 54
Chapter 55
Chapter 56
Chapter 57
Chapter 58
Chapter 59
Chapter 61
Chapter 62
Chapter 63
Chapter 64
Chapter 65
Chapter 66
Chapter 67
Chapter 68
Chapter 69
Chapter 70
Chapter 71
Chapter 72
Chapter 73
Chapter 74
Chapter 75
Chapter 76
Chapter 77
Chapter 78
Chapter 79
Chapter 80
Chapter 81
Chapter 82
Authors Note...
Chapter 83
Chapter 84
Chapter 85
Chapter 86
Chapter 87 (FINALE)

Chapter 60

11.3K 245 357
By Hoe4BuckyBarnes

A/N: I tried making Amelia seem badass here as well, hope it comes across that way.
      ALSO!! I've been asked to put a trigger warning (TW). This chapter contains use of needles/syringes!


"Hold your position, we're closing in." Steve orders over the comms

Just as he finished his sentence, Sam, Vision and Wanda round a corner on mine and Buckys left. Resounding thumps of boots down the hall to our right tell me everyone else is here as well. With a heavy sigh, I look to Bucky and give him a nod towards the door

He understood my silent demand and held his weapon in one hand. Taking a few steps forward, he raises a leg and kicks the double doors open. Both denting where Buckys boot collided and slam against the wall of the room. Almost breaking from their hinges in the process

Six people were in the room. Four armed guards, a man in a lab coat and a very muscular man writhing around on a chair. Metal cuffs restrained him at his wrists and ankles. And a device similar to the one I was given all that time ago was hanging low around the base of his neck

Sweat covered his near naked body, the only thing covering him were a pair of black tactical pants. The man was almost as built as Steve and Bucky, bulging muscles under taut porcelain skin. His copper hair clung to his scalp, sweat rolling down his forehead and the back of his neck as if he'd just stepped out of a shower

And a dark rich purple haze flickered violently around his clenched fists


Bucky fires his AK next to me, dropping the two baffled guards as soon as the doors had opened. Vision using the Mind Stone in his forehead and blasting the other two with what looked like a laser beam. The scientist looking man flinches at all the sudden and loud commotion, dropping a syringe he was holding

Turning around to face us, my heart drops. The world seemed to move in slow motion as the man locked his wide eyes with mine. My body felt numb. Gone were the pulling forces of my powers, for only a second

Him

This wasn't just any normal scientist/agent. The man standing across the room from me in a lab coat is the same man who prepared my original injection. Handing the damn concoction to Rumlow and watching me among his peers as I screamed on their table. The one who single handedly created all of these test subjects. These weapons

My shock and horror got shoved aside as rage flooded every pore of my body. Again I feel my power radiate off my like fire, flicking the ends of my hair. Glaring across the procedure room at the scientist, I could sense my power spiking beneath my skin. Itching to tear the bastards body limb from limb, molecule by molecule

* "солдат" the man asks in disbelief, his surprise mixing with awe at the sight of me
(*soldier, pronounced soldat)

Proud of the monster he helped make

"I'm sorry, did he really just call you soldier?" Nats voice rings through the comms. Her and Clint are hanging back at the jet making sure we're ready for a speedy getaway if need-be

"You-!" I half shout, throwing my arm towards the agent, conjuring up an energy wall and slamming it into him. I saw red, everything tinted in the angry hue and it wasn't just from the flashing warning lights in the room

The scientist grunts in pain, heaving over after having his ribs collide with the corner of a lab table. His wheezing fueling my internal fire, the scared look in his eyes behind his glasses as he watched me stride towards him was almost delectable

Good. Feel the terror I felt

I throw another wall at him aimed at his shoulder. The force causes him to flip backwards. His outstretched and flailing arms knock over a tray of test tubes, the odd colored liquids inside sizzling and bubbling as they poured over the table

Droplets fell from the edge of the table and onto the floor with all the broken glass. The agent landed with a loud and hard 'thump', shattered beakers lining around his body. When I hear him groan, I almost snarl at the fact he's not unconscious yet. But that can easily be fixed

Encasing my hands in my energy, mimicking boxing gloves, I speedily stride to the shaking mass of flesh as he pushes himself onto his knees. I grab him by the collar of his lab coat and yank him partially up as a fresh wave of fury courses through me. His lip was split open and bleeding, as was one of his ears, and his glasses were cracked

And I saw my reflection in them

I was right about my power radiating off me like fire. With purple flames splattered in black flickering all around my head and shoulders, down my entire body. My face and neck now matched my hands. Ash black with cracks and splinters of a shiny, shimmering mix of purple. Like a cracked open agate geode. The whites of my eyes pitch black with my irises a swirling mashup of the two purples. Resembling that of a tornado cloud

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't startled by my own appearance. I've never seen myself like this. It was terrifying yet... exhilarating. I look and feel like a complete and total badass

I tilt my head slightly, a sick and twisted yet hallow grin splits my features. Flashing my teeth at the trembling agent in my hands. Seeing how scared he was right now only made me feel better. But only slightly

I want him to be as scared as I was

I want him to hurt as much as I did

"Was it worth it? Tormenting all those people to create weapons?" I ask, yanking on the mans coat collar

"Tell me, how does it feel? Knowing you'll die by the hands of the monster YOU helped create?" My voice dripping with venom and animosity as I stare into his bulging eyes

His coat started to disintegrate in my fists, the material almost burning away from the power pooling off me in waves. The last strands melted before I could get a new grip on him, making him fall back to his knees on the floor. Unfortunately for him, he landed on multiple shards of broken glass, piercing into his legs through his slacks

He lets out a shriek, bending over to move away from the now blood stained shards. But I grab ahold of his receding hairline, making him stay exactly where he was and forced to look up at me

Like shattering glass was being injected into my bloodstream

He deserves this for what he did

" 'Neutralize her'." I mock, the same order they gave him when I was thrashing around on their experiment table all those months ago

Without even looking to where the dropped syringe was, I hold out my palm. A moment later, a ball of my energy carefully places the needle in my hand. With a dark smirk, I grip the syringe tightly and swing it at the mans arm. Jamming it into his flesh and injecting only half of the vial into him

"Stop! Please!" The man begged. His voice cracking and wavering. Like it was hard for him to speak

"You didn't so why should I?!" I bite back

"Shouldn't someone be stopping her?" Clint asks in my ear

"If you could see what we do right now, you'd know that's not a good option." Tony responds

"She needs to do this. Closure will help her. Believe me." Bucky silences them all

And he's right. I do need to do this

I focus back on the cowering man kneeling and bleeding in front of me. Watching and feeling as his body went limp under my hand. The fist full of thin hair burning away down to the scalp leaving an odd shaped bald spot on the top of his head. His paralyzed body collapsing to the floor

He knows what's coming next. Accepting his fate with a single deep breath as I crouch next to his head. I grip his jaw, squeezing it as I glare him down

"Hail Hy-" he begins to wheeze out

"Hail nothing." I focus my power to my hand holding his face

My energy shoots into his chin, the flesh area surrounding my fingers burning away. Charring and stripping the skin layer by layer. Boiling away all blood that tried oozing out. I watch as my power moves quickly under the agents skin, like paint drops off a brush and into a glass of water

He tries to keep his screams contained as the power coursing within burns him alive from the inside. I couldn't help but to watch with mild glee as his body wanted so desperately to jerk away from me, to rid itself of the energy scorching his intestines and boiling his blood. Just like I did. He opened his mouth to cry out in agony but there was no more air in his lungs, just smoke

A spike straight out of the flames from hell was now pumping through my veins

I didn't stop until the light behind his eyes faded and jaw went slack. Effectively killing him. I retract my power and my hand from the fried corpse, looking down in disgust at the scientist

He deserved it. If not worse

"Doll..?"

His voice brings me back, carrying into my ears like a beautiful symphony. Snapping my head up, I meet Buckys gaze. Also noting how Vision, Steve, and Sam all had turned away to avoid watching me murder a man. Buckys eyes were wide in mild surprise but pupils wildly dilated as he looked me from head to toe

I know I've said it once before but, he does know that killing someone definitely shouldn't turn you on, right?

As badly as I want to run to Bucky and have him hold me, soothe my mind and body, there's a certain cuffed man sitting ten feet away from me and looks ready to pounce. I give Bucky and the team a curt nod before swiveling on my heels and walking over to the sweat coated man. Slightly bending forward as I stood in front of him, I place my hands on the backs of his

The moment I make contact, the pure agony in his eyes faded and he heaved in air. Finally able to properly breathe again. He looked to me in a mix of surprise and anger, seemingly pissed I hadn't dealt with him first

"Give me your power." I state, not leaving any room for debate

He saw what I can do, he'd be a fool to fight me on it

Oh, but he's quite the fool

"No."

"No?" I arch a brow at him, as if tempting him to repeat the single word

"Don't think that's the right answer 'Roid Weasley." Tony calls across the room, opening a few drawers to the desks and pulling out files nonchalantly

I try my best to not laugh at Tony's remark but a smirk curls my lips. "Alright then, as cliché as it sounds, we can do this one of two ways." I begin

Again, I hold my hand out and bring the half full syringe to my hand, rolling the small tube in my palm. "The easy way where you willingly give me your power or," I grip the syringe and point the needle at the base of his neck. "My way."

The mans nostrils flared at my threat but his gaze never left mine. Hard, empty, and shielded brown eyes stare back at me as he tugs at the restraints again

"I'd rather die."

I pause, taken back by his choice. But it's kind of admirable. If the roles were reversed and someone broke into the Avengers compound demanding I give up my power, I'd tell them to fuck off too

"My way it is then." I crack an emotionless smile before stabbing the man and emptying the syringe

He thrashes around in the chair binding him, his hands glowing even more. I focus on my hands that are still gripping the backs of his. Aimlessly trying to latch onto his power with my own. Which, by the way, was difficult because the guy wouldn't fucking stop moving

Finally the sedative started to kick in. His body slowing down and drooping. Gotta give it to the guy, he's pretty strong willed. When my energy finally hooked onto his and began extracting it, I could still feel his resistance

It felt like I was pulling apart thick caramel, or dragging a weight barely too heavy for me to move

But I was doing it. Slowly but surely

I could feel his power soak into mine the more I took. And with every ounce I obtained, the more my body hurt. Like someone taking a thin scalpel blade and slashing my skin, veins, and muscles. Small pricks and swipes all over my body followed by a burning sensation. Similar to when you pour hydrogen peroxide on an open wound. But this time the searing pain only seemed to get worse over time

With a groan, I slip my hands around his wrists and squeeze tightly. "Just— give it to me!" I grunt out in frustration, willing everything I had to where we were connected

Looking back up into his brown scowling eyes, he barely breathes out the word 'no'. I glance at his throat and produce a darker purple energy wall. But I round it and shape it to resemble a collar before placing it around his neck

"Last chance." I offer, looking at the now three shades of purple blending and swirling around with the black

The man keeps his eyes locked on me, not answering and instead coaxing me to do it. As if he didn't believe I'd choke him out. I shake my head in disbelief. A breathy and baffled huff of amused air brushed past my lips

"Fine by me." I flick my eyes back to his thick neck and focus on shrinking the make-shift collar

I watch as the mans pale white face gradually floods red at the lack of blood flow and air. The placement of my energy collar was strategic, it would knock him out but not kill him. So SHIELD can take him in for interrogation

But this dude held on for as long as he could, fighting with everything he had in him. I was starting to think he'd never pass out. But I saw his eyes gloss over and lids begin to droop. Along with his power starting to pour out of him more effectively and with no restraint. Now it was like pulling apart warm caramel, stretchy and with ease

Didn't stop the roaring pain within my bones as I whisk away the dark purple energy though

The sensation of my entire body being slashed with a thin blade all over and then dunked into a pool of hydrogen peroxide intensified ten-fold. All along my arms and legs, down my spine and decorating my neck. Between each finger and toe, under every nail, the inside of my ears. I almost let go and stopped the transfer completely multiple times because I couldn't handle the searing pain

Shouts and the sound of stomping boots outside the room grab the teams attention. Most of them turning to look at the doorway. All but Tony and Bucky who kept a close eye on me for when I need assistance. Steve and Sam gave each other a nod before jogging out of the space we were in, Vision floating out behind them, opting to fight off the bastards headed our way while Wanda focused on our room. Casing it in a red half circle so nobody can get in and no stray bullet or grenade can harm us

As I continued to absorb the power, I watched as the dark glow of it disappeared from the unconscious mans veins and spread into mine. Until there was nothing left to take. Similar to last time, my body glowed like a freshly cracked glow stick, illuminating the space around me. The beautiful blends of light, medium, and dark purples moving around one another with black splatters. My knees wobbled like those of a new born deers as I released my grip on the mans arms and pushed myself to stand

Well, forced myself to stand

As soon as I was at my full height though... that's when the real pain set in. Instead of feeling like my skin was being cut, it travelled inside me. My esophagus, lungs, stomach. Even behind my eyelids. All of my organs felt like millions of deep paper-cuts were created simultaneously. My bodies natural fluids within stung the 'open' wounds, making me cry out. Which just made it worse

"Woah- hey! hey I got ya doll. Talk to us." Buckys deep voice was right next to me as his arms grabbed me before I could hit the floor

I hadn't even realized I was letting myself fall

Shaking my head, afraid to make a sound, I simply lean into him. His warm body felt like the blazing sun against my already hot skin. For once, his embrace was uncomfortable. I had to halt myself from further snuggling into his chest and peeled myself away

Bucky looked at me in both shock and confusion but watched as I weakly pointed to Tony who stood in his IronMan suit a few feet away. He arched a brow and looked all over me, reading my expression

Cold metal. Now

"FRIDAY check vitals." He orders his suit as he rounded one of the scattered lab tables to approach me

"She's running a dangerous fever boss. If Ms. Hayes doesn't cool down soon, it could fry her brain." FRIDAYS usual chipper voice held a worried tone

She does know I can hear her too right?

Tony awkwardly raises his arms in a few different positions, trying to figure out the best way to hold me. If I didn't feel like I was on fire and millions of tiny incisions were being made internally, I'd be embarrassed at the situation. But at the moment, I didn't care

We ended up with me on Tony's back. His hands under my knees on either side of his waist to keep me up and my heavy arms dangling over his shoulders. My chest was pressed just below Tony's shoulder plates while my head was resting in the crook of his neck. Initially I gasp at the temperature contrast of Tony's suit and my boiling flesh. It stung for the first couple of seconds but quickly switched to soothing

"Just in time." Tony remarked as the last of the scattered gunfire went off

"Good to go in there?" Sam asks through the earpiece

"Good to go out there?" Bucky quips back, making sure no guards were left

"Move out when ready." Steve interjects

Tony heads for the door with Bucky just behind him so he was walking next to me. The group doesn't say a word about why Tony's giving me a piggy-back ride and we take off for the exit. Unfortunately for me, nobody remembers how they got to where we were. Which I cant exactly be upset about. All the halls look damn near identical

Must be what took them so long to find Bucky and I

We'll be here forever if that's the case

"FRIDAY scan for an exit." Tony instructs his suit, readjusting his hold on me as he does

"It seems I'm getting interference boss." FRIDAY responds

While Tony bickers with his suit, I focus on my breathing. Trying to control my air intake and regulate it as best I can to not pass out from either lack of oxygen or hyperventilating. The group stops to discuss the next move on how to escape this labyrinth from hell, Bucky of course standing a step behind to be stood next to me

The longer we stood around, the more I could feel the stinging and burning pain fade away. I was starting to feel like myself again. And I think Bucky could tell by the switch in my breathing because he immediately flicked his eyes to me. I give him a half weak smile as he rubs my low back with his metal arm

Bucky curls and dips his fingers under the hem of my shirt and glides his cold bionic arm up my spine. The first touch on my bare skin made me gasp and flinch slightly but I did my best to mask it as a cough. Bucky kept his hand pressed against my skin, his fingers just barely below the band of my bra, and just kept it there. After a few seconds he'd flip his arm so the back of his hand was against me for a fresh wave of chills

"Vision can't you just go through walls and floors? Fly up and tell us how far down we are." Tony tells the hovering Android, motioning to the ceiling with his head since his arms are preoccupied

"I suppose-"

"Everyone cover your ears." I grumble, annoyed that the worlds finest superheroes are having difficulty finding an exit

While some took a moment to process what I said, others told me to relax and not move. But I didn't listen, just wanting to get out of this claustrophobic underground building as soon as I could. I lean back, thanks to Buckys hand supporting me, and look to the ceiling of the hallway we're in. Raising both hands palm side up, I focus on my power to create a large circular wall

Using everything I had, I push the force field up. The disk crashes through the levels of building above us, metal snapping and shattering, desks splintering and falling apart in chunks. The grating sounds piercing my eardrums and making my teeth hurt. Some debris fell back at us but nothing major. Though I did break a water pipe and it poured down, barely missing Sam and pooling on the floor

Thankfully we were only about six floors down from the surface and the hot bright desert sun beamed down at us once I broke through. And even though I was still very warm, I welcomed the blinding rays upon my flesh with a content hum. The roar of the quinjet could be heard outside as it neared the now massive hole in the ground

"Let's not overstay our welcome boys." Nat chimes through our earpieces and I couldn't agree with her more

Everyone that was able to fly, myself included on Tony's back, did so. Wanda used her own energy to bring the two super soldiers with us up to the jet. I couldn't help but to chuckle as I watched the two float through the air until we were all on the jet. Tony cautiously set me down, keeping a hand hovering over my arm the entire time incase I stumbled while Nat and Clint closed the back hatch

Bucky handed Sam his weapon to put away for him before coming over to where I stood. His big blue eyes overflowing with worry for me. But I give him a short smile, grabbing his hand and leaning against him. The jet begins moving again and taking us home

After Tony asks me several times if I'm alright and how I'm feeling, getting the same answer every time, he leaves me alone with Bucky to go deal with the reports. I sigh, resting my head on Buckys shoulder as we were now sat in one of the many seats. Exhaustion quickly flooding my systems

"So, how do you actually feel?" Bucky asks in a hushed tone

I blow a puff of air out my nose as my eyelids began to fall. "Sleepy.." I mumble out, curling myself closer against his side and hugging his metal arm to me

"Get some rest babydoll. I'll wake you when we land." I could hear the smile in his voice as he spoke

Shit, don't gotta tell me twice

I hum in response and nuzzle my cheek into him, allowing my eyes to close fully. I didn't realize how lethargic and tired I truly was until just now. But I guess that's a typical side effect from consuming a part of the Power Stone. And using a good portion of energy to blast out of the facility

So, without a second thought, I fall into slumber. The last thing I sense is Buckys lips pressing into the top of my head.

.

Gentle ending this time. Next one will be.. different-ish. In a good way (I hope).

Did any of you pick up and the few descriptions and dialogue pieces I added? Had to go back to my earlier chapters for them which I thought was fun lol

One more person to go! Almost done with the power stone! What do y'all think should/will happen after all that? Let me know! I love seeing how creative you all are in the comments hahah
<3

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