Narae still felt her magick violently rage beneath her skin. All fury and storm, cutting edges and ice cold blizzards. It hurt. It actually physically hurt to have her magick restrained like that but she knew that she couldn't take off the bracelet. Not without the safety of the Im wards around their coven home.
So she cursed Jung Hoseok and Park Jimin and the entire Kim coven beneath her breath and endured. Her steps a bit sluggish as she was clever enough to not just wander around aimlessly. As much as she hated to be babied, Narae was rational enough to know that at least some sort of benevolent person being close by was still needed in her condition.
And even if she felt horrible about it, even if she felt ashamed to have to burden Solar yet again...Narae headed straight for the pretty woman's shop.
It wasn't that far to walk and yet every step felt heavier than the next. Narae's emotions were still strung up on how Jimin and Hoseok had treated her.
Her magick still clawing at its chains growing more vicious by every minute going by without release of emotion. Her gut hurt and her lungs felt as if they were filled with the ice that was so characteristic for her gifts.
A cough rattled suddenly through her. Lungs aching and throat hurting as something wet trickled up and spilt on her full lips. A coppery taste invading her mouth.
Narae stopped walking and brought a hand up to gently swipe at her lips. Finger tips coming away covered in crimson.
Her eyes widened at the sight. She took in a surprised gasp, just to agitate her lungs again and cause another coughing fit. Throat and coughs wet as more blood coated the inside of her hand that she had held in front of her mouth.
Fear grabbed her as her magick flared even more. Sharp, powerful edges cutting at her skin, demanding to be freed and let loose on those who tormented her. Those who hurt her. Those who caused her harm.
Gods! What was happening?
What was happening to her?!
Solar was a mage.
Narae's panicked mind cleared at that thought.
Solar could help!
And with that one sliver of hope she pushed herself despite the pain and the bloody cough every now and then to get to the shop. To find sanctuary and hopefully help with whatever was happening to her. Because whatever the bracelet was doing to her magick and body...
...it was certainly nothing good.
The tissue she had hastily pulled from her bag to catch the blood she was coughing up was entirely stained crimson by the time the bell chimed above her head.
Solar's shop was cute and was stacked with rows upon rows of vinyl and anything music related. Not that Narae was in any condition to actually admire the serene atmosphere or impressive selection of differing artists and genres.
Another cough wrecked her lungs and had her hunching over slightly just after she had entered the music shop. Bloody tissue pressed to her mouth as the sickening wet feeling travelled up her throat and spilt out in bright red flowers blooming prettily in all its terrifying glory.
Solar was by Narae's side within seconds.
"Come, child", her soft voice cooed as gentle hands guided the aching girl through the shop and into a backroom. "I feared this would happen."
Narae was ushered to sit on a chair in what seemed to be the office slash break room. Her mind blurred in and out of pain, at times more aware of her surroundings and others drowning in the feeling of being cut up from the inside out by her own raging magick.
Then a feeling like a soothing blanket falling over her took over and washed away all pain and hurt. Her magick forced into calm submission and all hurt gone as if it hadn't been there in the first place. Narae blinked in confusion.
"It's okay for now, little dove", Solar said from where she crouched right next to Narae. "It's okay now." And Narae believed her. She felt how easy it was to breath again and her body slumped against the chair in utter exhaustion.
"What was that?", she asked, voice slightly trembling from the exertion of the day. Or rather...evening. Her day had actually been pretty decent until she had met Jimin. And the episode with the bridge... And then Hoseok...
"The bracelet traps your magick within your body", Solar said softly. Narae's head shot towards the other woman. Eyes wide and fearful. Panic once more rising but immediately diluted by a gentle hand on her shoulder.
"Don't fear me", Solar reassured. "I have lived many lifetimes already and I have seen people like you. Little gifts of magick herself. That's what you and your kin are." A gentle smile graced Solar's lips, knowing and soothing.
"So don't fear me, little dove. I am your ally."
Narae couldn't help but to let out a shaky breath. Tension falling from her like the weight of a mountain lifting from her shoulders. She felt light like a feather.
Soaring. Tearing up. There was help.
There was help.
There was someone who would not hunt her and kill her. Someone to share the burden with her very existence imposed on everyone knowing her.
A wet hiccup escaped her lips. Half sob half laughter.
An ally.
She had another ally.
"Magick doesn't like to be trapped", Solar returned to explaining, instinctively knowing that pushing Narae's emotions would do only harm and no good at this moment.
"Magick is conscious to a point where it wants to protect us. Due to the circumstances you gained your gifts I'd bet your magick is even more protective than usual."
She took a tissue and gently dabbed Narae's tears away. Fingers oh so careful and eyes so very soft it hurt.
"It makes you powerful because your connection to magick is stronger than for normal mages", she continued to explain. "But it also bears the danger of being too connected. Especially to emotions."
Understanding dawned on Narae. It all made sense now. Why it was so hard for her to reconnect with her gifts after wearing the bracelet. Why wearing the bracelet made her sick. And why today had been so painful. Why Jimin and Hoseok had pushed her limits to a breaking point.
"Because I felt so threatened and angry today...", Narae trailed off, eyes wide and full lips parted in horror and wonder.
"Your magick quite literally tore your insides apart, yes.", Solar finished with a nod and a wave of her hands towards the bloodied tissue in Narae's hand.
Narae's eyes were still wide as she turned to Solar. "How did you—"
"Stop it?", Solar interrupted. "A very strong calming spell and a quick healing." Narae nodded in understanding. Or...sort of understanding. She couldn't use spells. That wasn't how her magick worked.
"It's only a temporary fix for now, though", Solar warned, eyes stern and mouth pulled into a straight line. "You need to work on controlling your emotions and separating them from your magick." Narae nodded.
She understood how that would be an important skill to have for her.
"And you need to reduce the time you're wearing the bracelet", Solar ordered, which made Narae open her mouth in protest immediately. But Solar held up a hand to silence her before she could speak. Narae didn't dare to oppose.
"I know why you wear it", Solar said. "I understand its usefulness. And I understand that you need it when you're at college." A knowing nudged at Solar and the concerned frown on her face turned into an almost excited smile.
"You shouldn't wear it outside of classes though", she continued, completely ignoring Narae's attempts to protest as an idea formed in Solar's head. Her gut felt good about the idea. The nudge leading her here and Solar suddenly understood why she had wanted to take the subway today. Why it was so important for her to meet Narae this specific day.
"Just come here after classes", she offered excitedly. "You don't need to wear your bracelet here!" Narae blinked in confusion.
"What do you mean? There are people coming in and out constantly", she argued against Solar's silly idea. "People who could recognise me and then my entire coven is at risk of execution."
There was no way to sugar coat this hard truth. Solar took in her words with a tiny furrow of her brows and teeth gnawing on her lower lip.
"Do you wear contact lenses?", she suddenly asked completely out of context. But Solar had remembered her own confusion at seeing brown eyes staring back at her in the subway.
It had felt wrong even though she hadn't known why. Now she had an inkling.
"My eyes changed colour after...", Narae replied but didn't finish the sentence. Her once chocolate coloured eyes had turned an electric, icy blue in death.
They had changed colour after Narae had died.
But her answer brought a smile on Solar's lips and she clapped her hands together in excitement and a show of activism.
"Then we're going to take a leaf out of Shakespeare's book", she exclaimed happily. Again, Narae could only blink in confusion.
"Because those always end so well?", she dared to lightly mock with a brow lifted and mind filled with tragic death. Solar rolled her eyes as she stood with a wide smile.
"Not the tragedies, silly dove", she countered and a gleam entered her eyes that made Narae instinctively shrink back into the chair she was sitting on.
"His comedies!", Solar seemed almost giddy with anticipation. "You're going to cross-dress when you work here!"
Narae's jaw dropped and only stuttered words left her lips.
"C-cross-dress? Work h-here? Wait...what?!"
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Narae was still thoroughly confused when Solar left her in front of the Im coven home about an hour later. The older mage had teleported her there so Naare could avoid travelling across a bridge over water.
Solar had pecked Narae's cheek and waved and vanished with a grin rivalling the Cheshire Cat's. And Narae just stood there and stared at the spot Solar had vanished.
...eh?
She had planned to go out and do some class assignments, maybe have a nice chat with Jennie and then return home a few hours later to give her coven time for themselves. A nice evening out. Nothing exciting or special. Just...herself and a bit of alone time.
Instead Narae had had a panic attack, encountered asshole one and asshole two of the Kim coven and apparently gotten herself a job at Solar's music shop where she would cross-dress as a boy so she didn't have to wear her bracelet? It all seemed quite like a silly daydream. Something unreal.
But then again...
Maybe Narae shouldn't be as surprised or confused by that as she was.
Her life had been nothing but unreal since that winter day when her parents' car had crashed down a bridge into a frozen lake. Her life had been dream-like, either daydream-unreal or nightmarish-cruel, ever since she had died and still taken a sudden, gasping breath days after at the ground of the lake.
Truly. Narae shouldn't be this surprised. So she took a deep breath, sighed resigned to her fate and entered her home.
Taking off her bracelet once she was within the ward lines felt horrible and blissful at once. Ice broke from her, shot out and covered a good two metres of ground around her. Ice crystals danced in the air around and glittered prettily like diamonds strung on invisible thread and hung in the sky.
Her coven mates were beside her within seconds. But Narae immediately lifted her hands to keep them away. Her breaths came heavy as her magick fluctuated and flared. Cold bursting from her in waves that made her coven shiver.
The coloured lenses burnt in her eyes until they were entirely dissolved by her magick and the vibrant, almost glowing blue once more for all the world to see.
Jackson didn't care much for his mates and Narae's cautiousness. He took fearless steps on ice and wrapped his arms around Narae. Just like he had done four years ago when he had found her crawling out of a frozen lake.
"What happened, duckling?", he whispered as one of his hands settled on the small of her back and the other stroked her hair soothingly. Narae's breath evened out and her emotions calmed. Magick settled now that it had been able to release.
"Let's take this inside", Mark ushered them both in with fretting hands and concerned eyes. Jaebeom had already rushed off to make hot chocolate and all the others hurried to make a blanket fort in the living room.
Their concern coating their coven bond and dampening the happy, content feelings that were shared among the soulmates.
Narae let herself be scooped up by Jackson to carry her inside, her head hidden in his neck and arms wrapped around his shoulders. It had truly been an exhausting adventure into the outside world.
Within a matter of minutes Narae had a steaming mug of hot chocolate in her hands and all her fretting coven mates around her. Jackson still clinging to her, Bambam hovering behind them with worry in his eyes. Youngjae constantly adjusting the blanket they had wrapped around their youngest. Mark and Jinyoung bringing little comfort food snacks and Yugyeom sitting at Narae's feet, gently massaging them to try and help make her feel comfortable.
Jaebeom sat down beside Yougyeom and let his eyes travel over Narae's expression. Searching. Worrying.
"What happened, duckling?", he repeated Jackson's words from earlier.
Narae pressed her lips together and scrunched up her nose cutely. She did not want to drive a wedge between the Im coven and the Kim coven...but she really felt petty.
"I don't see how you're friends with the Kim coven", she therefore said in a rather levelled tone. "Park Jimin was present when I had my panic attack and did nothing to help." There were a few surprised gasps and an angered huff.
"And Jung Hoseok isn't really the nicest person, is he?"
"Jimin didn't help you?", Mark repeated utterly surprised and confused. "He's a healer!"
Narae scoffed. Of course. Park fucking Jimin was a damn healer and did nothing. Asshole. They were all assholes.
Her brows furrowed and her mood darkened. The bond was flooded with contempt and hurt.
"He looked the other way", was what she replied and she could visibly see the entire coven tense. Jaebeom's jaw ticked and he ground his teeth together.
"What about Hoseok?", Jackson pushed, anger simmering right beneath his skin.
"He said unnecessary things", answered Narae, lips twitching as she remembered his silly fit of anger.
"What did he say?", Yugyeom grit out, eyes hard and magick flaring slightly making the air thick with his conflicting emotions. Narae hesitated a moment. But one look of Jaebeom had her explain.
"He was at the café. Helping out I assume", she began. "He accused me of purposefully staying away from you to hurt the bonding process."
At her words magick rose all around in anger and protective instincts. The entire coven, minus Narae, was seething in fury. Magick swirling around like a maelstrom, ready to grip at anything harmful and yank them into the abyss.
"That little—", Bambam began but was interrupted by Youngjae.
"Wait", he exclaimed, eyes hard and trained unyieldingly on Narae. "He said that and you stayed at the café?" Narae felt almost guilty now.
She was certain she was heading straight for a scolding for not informing them about changing her location after her unpleasant encounter with asshole number two.
"Well...", she replied sheepishly. "I might have stormed out dramatically, had a break down because my magick literally shredded my organs because I was so angry and went to Solar's shop where she healed me and I might or might not have gotten a job if I cross-dress as a boy."
She said all that so fast that her words were barely intelligible.
Her coven mates looked at her in confusion.
"Wait", Jackson rumbled out. "Rewind." Narae looked at him. His eyes wide in horror. "Your magick did what now?!"
"Solar explained to me that my bracelet keeps my magick trapped", Narae answered in a low, subdued tone. "Because of...what I am, my magick is more connected to my emotions. And high emotions coupled with trapped magick caused my magick to turn against the only thing available. Myself."
A filthy curse escaped Mark. Jackson tightened his hold around Narae. Yugyeom almost painfully squeezed her feet. Magick flared up. Roared loud and angry, filled with righteous fury and terrible agony.
The bracelet they had gifted her, hurt their precious coven mate.
The people they called friends, hurt their precious coven mate.
It was an understatement to say that the entire coven was in an uproar. Voices were suddenly raised. Shouting over each other as they cursed Jimin and Hoseok and demanded consequences.
A coven mate hurt by another mage was a serious thing. Not taken lightly as bond mates were sacred. The magick so thick and raging between them all that it was almost suffocating in its mixture of fierce protectiveness and burning hot anger.
"Quiet!", Jaebeom yelled and his coven quieted down even if not settled at all. His face was stern and his tone grave as he announced: "We will cease all relations to the Kim coven for the time being. Effective now. I don't care if they're powerful. I don't care if they're respected. Where was their respect in regards to Narae? Where was their respect when our youngest was hurt? They made it worse. They hurt our little duckling. Friendship treated like this is no friendship. Not until they made amends."
The coven was satisfied with that. Jackson still grumbling about punching them under his breath. But all in all they were settled with their leader's decision. It hurt. Of course it did.
Hell, they had been entertaining intimate relations with the Kim coven for centuries. Called them friends. Truly, treasured friends.
But slandering a coven mate like this. Hurting a coven mate like this.
It was inexcusable.
Jaebeom's dark eyes turned to Narae, who squirmed beneath his hard gaze.
"What is this about cross-dressing and working at Solar's I heard?", he demanded to know. Narae could only smile sheepishly.
How the hell should she explain what had happened if she herself was still confused by it?
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
There was still a general confusion about Solar's actions tangible in the Im coven the next morning. It was a lazy start into the Saturday. The entire coven cuddled together in the large coven room. Being separated not even the whisper of an option the evening before.
Their magick and bonds had screamed for being close, huddling together like one large knot of limbs and bodies. Magick mixing freely to settle all the excitement and agony of the day.
It had helped a great deal. They all felt more content after an entire night of cuddling and sharing sweet affections and reassuringly whispered words.
They had even called for food delivery and eaten all cuddled together in the living room, not willing to separate long enough for some of them to cook. Exclamations of how disappointed they were in their close friends audible every now and then in varying states of anger and intensity.
Reassurances uttered in between that Solar was indeed an ally worth having and that associating with her usually brought a general feeling of confusion. As only Solar seemed to know things and everyone else was kept in the shadows of unknowing.
A state they told Narae to get used to if she truly considered to work at her music shop. Something Narae actually did look forward to. Once she had accepted the confusion, that is.
But as strange as it came to be, Narae really liked the idea to be surrounded by music and to work with Solar. She also longed for being outside of the coven home without her bracelet on.
And if she had to pretend to be male for that to happen then who cared?
"I need a name", she suddenly said, continuing her thoughts out loud.
"A name?", Bambam questioned with a lifted brow, head turned to her from where he sat on the floor in front of the couch, back leaned against Youngjae's legs.
"A boy name", Narae specified. "I can't cross-dress to stay unrecognisable and use my female name, can I?"
A trickle of amusement coated her tone and lifted the corners of her mouth slightly. Immediately all the boys were blurting out random names.
"Minsu!"
"Byungwoo!"
"Olaf!"
"Jaewong!"
Narae couldn't help but to break out into soft giggles at the chaos erupting around her. Her coven mates soon joining her. The atmosphere light and loving, magick lazily flowing between them like a gentle caress of soft fingers.
"I was thinking about Muyeol", Narae suggested and the smile on her face turned bittersweet. "That was my dad's name."
The air sobered and the laughter trickled away until the room was silent. Eyes soft as they landed on Narae, whose piercing blue eyes were directed on her own hands. Unusually shy.
"That's a wonderful thought, duckling", Jaebeom said lowly, voice cracking slightly. Narae looked up from her hands, eyes sad but free of tears.
The memory didn't hurt as much as it had once. There were no physical memorabilia that could remind her of her late parents. But she had her memories. And she had their names.
Yugyeom was the one to initiate a group cuddle pile. And for a while they simply stayed like that, all cuddled up to each other, thoughts subdued and sober but bond filled with love and fond memories.
It wasn't long after that Mark teleported Narae to the side entrance of Solar's music shop. He insisted on going inside and even though Solar was aeons older and leagues more powerful than him, he didn't shy away to give her a stern look and a firm; "If she's hurt we'll come for you."
Narae wanted to hide in embarrassment but couldn't deny the fond swell of her heart. Solar took it all in good humour and without an inkling of being offended.
"No worries", she said. "The little dove is safe with me." Mark had been satisfied enough by that and with a last peck on Narae's forehead he left. Solar's Cheshire Cat grin returned only seconds later and Narae gulped in slight worry.
"Let's get started", the older woman said and rubbed her hands in gleeful anticipation. She led Narae to the backroom where an assortment of clothes and bindings and potions already waited for them to be used.
Narae removed her coloured contact lenses and her own clothes. Solar instructed her to change her bra for a compressing sports bra and as Narae didn't have that much breast to hide anyway, the bindings weren't needed. All that it took after that were boyfriend jeans and a baggy shirt to hide Narae's slender figure.
Solar worked her magick to glamour Narae's long hair into a short boy cut and then she ordered her to drink one of the potions to lower the pitch of her voice.
It all happened in such a surety that Narae wondered if Solar was used to cross-dressing... It wouldn't actually surprise Narae all that much.
Solar was weird. In a good way.
When Narae looked into a mirror only ten minutes after arriving and she couldn't belief her eyes.
The first thing to catch her attention were her piercing electric-blue eyes. They were rarely so openly on display. Her features were still a bit too soft but her high cheekbones made up for her lack of a sharp jawline, especially with the way her short, silky black hair fell into her face. Perfectly sharpening her features into edges and something that would probably be considered handsome instead of pretty.
The clothes did their thing and if Narae didn't know better she would belief to have actually changed gender.
"Well damn", Solar clicked her tongue beside Narae, eyes roaming over her. "If I didn't have my girls already I'd eat you whole."
Narae's eyes widened at that and she turned away from the mirror to look at Solar.
"You're going to bring in so many new customers, little dove", Solar singsonged happily as she handed her two necklaces and a few bracelets and rings to wear. "Breaking all their little hearts with the way you look."
Narae was rather flattered by that and she couldn't quite help the satisfied smirk pulling at her lips.
"Definitely breaking hearts", Solar winked as she saw the smirk. "I'd say this was one of my better ideas."
And such found Narae — currently known as Muyeol — sorting vinyls into their rightful places in the shop. She was humming to herself as she worked, still unused to the lower register of her voice, although it wasn't unpleasant to hear.
Solar had given her free reign of the music played in the background and so Narae had decided on some smooth, classic jazz.
The notes wafting through the shop as her magick happily slithered around her body, content at its freedom. The room's temperature had dropped a bit but not to a point where it was unpleasant. It fitted the cozy vibe of the music shop, keeping customers engaged and not lazy with warmth and contentedness.
Narae was happy.
She truly was happy and felt as if she wasn't in a state of in between for once.
Then the bell chimed and two young men walked in. One was tall and intimidating, hair a pretty blue colour and eyes gleaming with intelligence. Dimples appeared when he smiled down at his companion.
A young man just as handsome as the other with skin as pale as the snow Narae could so easily call to her. A similar intelligence and wisdom making his eyes something Narae couldn't look away for a moment.
Their magick warm and smooth like a forest and river. Pleasantly trickling against her own cold breeze.
A lopsided smirk formed on Narae's lips when she noticed both of their gazes irrevocably drawn to her. Fixed on her unnatural eyes, pulled in and pleasantly shocked by what they saw if their expressions were something to go by.
Espesically the baerly hidden once-over the tall one gave her. And for once she didn't feel ashamed at the change in the colour of her eyes. For once she felt as if she had arrived where she had always meant to be.
Ice-blue eyes glinted with mischief as she said in her unfamiliar low voice: "I'm Muyeol, can I help you or are you just looking around?"
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Hello pretties!
Wow. This was a ride...
I'm still recovering from writing this chapter! Like a rollercoaster! Up and down and up and down!
I hope it was cohesive nonetheless???
Did you like it??
What do you think about the cross-dressing???? I'm so nervous about that tid-bit of plot...
And what's your opinion on the reaction of the Im coven??
If you want a sort of livetracker of me writing these chapters and ranting about it on Twitter, here's my name: @WritesPi
Follow me and be hyped and entertained. Probably. xD
Stay safe. Stay healthy.
xx
Pi