After being alone and restless for an hour I heard Bella's voice from outside the door. She was talking with someone. Suddenly she barged into my room and started screaming.
"What the hell am I hearing? Is it true?" She said, screaming loudly.
"What did you hear?" I asked. I knew what she was talking about but I wanted to confirm how much she knew.
"Everyone is talking outside that your Zaid ran away" she said angrily.
"Uh yeah" I said looking into my lap.
"I already had a bad feeling about that guy," she said.
"I was stupid that even chose him" I replied guiltily.
"Thank god that he did it before the wedding what if he had done this after the marriage" she said "oh my god I'm already planning his murder" she added.
"Hey, don't say these kinds of things, plus it was not his fault he was forced to this" I said.
"But wait, what I don't understand is why you guys are so calm and why there's still arrangements going on for your wedding?" She asked.
"Because the wedding is going to happen as it was fixed" I replied.
"What? You guys are going to track Zaid and force him to marry?" She said,
"No stupid" I replied.
"Then who is getting married?" she screamed in frustration. "Wait, why are you still wearing your henna? You should wash it off," she added and grabbed my right hand to see my palm and when she saw the name on my hand her eyes widened.
"What the-" she started.
"Yes Bella it's Zain, I'm getting married to Zain" I said looking into her wide eyes.
"Wait oh my god, oh my god all my wishes are finally coming true" she said.
"What wish?" I asked.
"That you and Zain will get together as a couple," she replied.
"Why did you wish for this?" I asked in confusion.
"Because I know how much Zain loves you," she said calmly.
"What the-... You knew it all along?" I said.
"Yes," she said with a smile.
"Why did you never tell me?" I asked.
"Because Zain never let us," she replied.
"Does that mean Peter also knew?" I asked.
"Of course he knows," she replied.
"I was the only one who didn't know?" I said.
"Yes" she nodded.
"Why did he never tell me this? I mean he should've told me earlier before this mess," I said.
"What if he told you earlier? Have you accepted his love? Haven't doubted his friendship after knowing this? He was afraid, Maryam! He was afraid of telling you!" She said,
"Why was he afraid?" I asked.
"He was thinking that if he tells you everything you will not accept him," she said.
"Why does he always assume things?" I said.
"That's how he is, and you know this very well, how he always stays quiet and does not express his feelings," she said.
"Yeah I know," I said.
"Look Maryam I know you're bad at reading people emotions and Zain is bad at expressing his emotions and feelings" she said "it's going to be very difficult for you both to spend your life but I want you to work hard for it and it will worth it because Zain loves you so much" she added.
"Yeah but Bella it's all so sudden and now I'm more afraid of falling in love, what if I don't get to reciprocate his love" I said as a tear betrayed me.
"Don't lose hope and don't hurry I know Zain will understand this, love is all about patience, have patience you guys will grow learning each other's feelings" she said "at times you guys will not even have to communicate to know what you both are thinking in future, and I very well know that you will grow feelings for him, as you always say, 'Nikah will grow love between you both'" she added.
"I'm already feeling guilty for not understanding him" I said "and now I'm afraid, what if I will not be able to cherish his feelings and return his love ever?" I added.
"Don't worry Mary, love don't need your worries it will happen when it wants till then stay with him because he wants you" she said.
"That's why I've accepted this," I said.
"Now stop crying if you don't want to look like a panda in your wedding" she said and wiped my tears with her thumb.
"Thanks Bella for all this" I said with a smile.
"Stop with all these formalities" she said "I'm going to get something to eat" she added as she got up from the bed.
"Wait, what about your sickness? Have you taken the test?" I asked.
"Yes," she said with a huge smile.
I got up from the bed and engulfed her in a bone crushing hug. My henna was already dry so it's not going to smudge.
"Hey girl, you're going to hurt the baby," she said.
"Oh my Allah I can't believe you're going to be a mother and I'm going to be an Aunt" I said.
"Yes," she smiled.
"Oh Allah, I am so happy," I said.
"You have no idea how happy I am today. I got two of the biggest news of my life today" she said.
"You don't have to go downstairs, sit here. I will call someone to bring something for you and some sweets to celebrate the news" I said.
"Okay" she said and sat on the bed.
After telling mom for snacks and sweets I sat on the bed beside Bella.
"Did you tell Peter about it?" I asked.
"At first I was thinking of giving him a surprise but I couldn't take this to myself long. I told him before heading out because he was being impatient" she said with a smile, probably thinking of the time when she told him the news.
"Was he happy?" I said even after knowing that he must be happy but I wanted to know the full story.
"He was not only happy, he was the happiest, after knowing that he was dancing all over the house," she replied with a very huge smile.
"Alhamdulillah" I said.
"You know what Maryam? At first I was so angry at that guy, how dare he betrayed our innocent Mary but now I'm happy that he ran away," she said. "Everything happens for a reason," she added.
"Yeah, I have been having bad feelings since last week. I'm even praying to Salat al-Istikhara and I think his running away and Zain's confessions are all signs and answers to my prayers and I think Allah is guiding me to a right path now" I said.
"What is Salat al-Istikhara?" She asked curiously.
"It's a prayer which is prayed to ask Allah's guidance and his counsel before taking a decision and Allah guides us and gives us a sign whether we are walking on the right path or not," I explained.
"I will also try this someday" she said "and I think Zain is the written one for you" she added.
"Yeah, that's why Allah has given me this sign," I added.
After a little chatting Bella's phone rang. It was peter. While she was busy on the call. I looked at my palm admiring my henna. I looked at Zain's name on my henna and started thinking about all the events that took place today.
How in a matter of hours everything in our life changes.
Just like rain in the summer season, the sky changes its appearance from sunny to cloudy in a moment.
How one decision of Zaid changed everything.
How it encouraged Zain to open up.
How I agreed to this marriage.
How in a moment my groom changed.
Now I'm getting married to Zain, my best friend.
I'm not freaking out because I know Zain very well and I know how good he is and how much he cares for me.
But I'm still worried because I'm not confident with my feelings if I will ever be able to return his love and care.
What if I will fail to reciprocate his feelings?
What if I will never be able to accept him as husband.
I know he is so thoughtful but what if he expects more from me while I was not ready. Because I only think of him as a friend,
what if after being a husband his personality will change?
Is he going to change?
No no I am sure he will understand me. He even told me to take time.
I was busy in my thoughts as I didn't realise that Bella was done talking on the phone. She snapped her hands in front of me to take me back from reverie.
"Stop thinking too much, everything is going to be alright," she said and hugged me.
"I hope so" I said with a smile "I love you bestie" I said while hugging her.
"I love you more" she said and I smiled.
"Where is Peter, why didn't he come here?" I asked, pulling out from the hug.
"Oh I forgot to tell you Zain called him earlier and he told him to meet in his house and it was urgent" she said "you also called me to meet urgently so he dropped me here and went to Zain's house" she added.
"He must've called him to give him the news," I said.
"Yes and now they went to shop for Zain's clothes for tomorrow" she said "Munif is also with them" she added And I hummed in response.
The day went like that mom, dad and Munif were busy with the arrangements with all my relatives. All my paternal uncle and aunt that were in Zaid's house came to my house. They were so angry at Aunt Reem. Bella and Peter went to Zain's house to help Aunt Fatima with arrangements. Though all the arrangements for Nikah take place from the girl's side, Aunt and uncle will never come to their son's in-laws empty handed so they have to shop and they're doing decorations for tomorrow because aunt doesn't want to welcome her daughter-in-law plainly. Bella told me that aunt took a very pretty dress for Nikah that was designed by her. She will send it to me tomorrow so that I will be ready for Nikah before their arrival. Dress shopping would've gotten more time but guess what that's all perks of being a designer that she already had a ready dress.
At night I was told to sleep early. My cousins told me to lock the door and sleep while all of them were busy outside enjoying and helping in Nikah preparation.
I've already taken off my henna and Ma Sha Allah. It looks beautiful. I'm not a big fan of henna but it's looking gorgeous today. Maybe it's because it's a bridal design. The colour has also come out beautiful.
I was trying so hard to sleep but sleep was nowhere near me. I was tired of tossing and turning so I decided to pray Salat al-tahajjud. I got up from the bed and went to the washroom. After doing the ablution I performed Salah. I performed twenty rak'ah of Salat al-tahajjud and made dua for my future, my family and friends. I made dua for Zain. I've been making dua for the written one for me my whole life but today I know who is written for me. I made dua for him to understand me and for me to understand him because we have to understand each other for a happy relationship. I asked Allah for guidance in this marriage and to make me good enough for Zain and his family. I seeked Allah's forgiveness. I cried in Sujood and made a very long dua.
I was doing dhikr when I heard Fajr adhan. I listened to it in concentration and when it ended I recited the dua and performed my Fazr Salah.
I recited the Qur'an to my heart's content. Then I tried to sleep and I don't know when I drifted off to sleep.
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A/N: ASSALAMUALAIKUM EVERYONE!
So it was a sign for Maryam's Istikhara.
Are you guys happy now?
What do you think Maryam's hesitation is right or wrong?
Will she be able to return Zain's feelings?
Will she ever be able to love Zain?
Stay tuned.
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