"Baby I promise it's okay. " Yoongi says as he ruhs my back.
"It's not okay, she won't eat!"
I've been weighing my options, and decided to try breast feeding, but I can't get either of them to latch.
"Why don't you try the bottle?"
I nod, grabbing the bottle from the stand beside me.
Areona starts eating immediately.
Yoongi pets My hair.
"See? She just prefers the formula. We'll get through this, Star."
I nod softly.
Everyone is like having a baby is such a great experience.
And it is. But the feeling of emptiness is... weird.
They don't tell you how when they take your child away from your arms, you feel helpless in protecting them.
Like last night, several nurses came in the room to wake me up because I had a dream that Jackson came and took areona and Nikii from me.
I could protect them more when they were in my stomach.
Another thing is the intense jealousy I feel.
Nikii took to Jimin immediately.
My first thought wasn't about how adorable it was.
It was about how my baby doesn't actually like me.
Joon has held them maybe 3 times.
Not because he doesn't want to hold them.
Because the guys keep crowding around him, making sure he won't drop them.
Trying to take them in their arms.
The only one who hasn't hovered over him has been Yoongi, who has been more worried about me.
Yoongi puts out the persona that he doesn't care, when he cares a lot more than you could imagine.
He seen how I felt being crowded by the others, and would send them to do tasks.
Get lunch, flowers, all sorts of stuff.
I love all of the guys deeply.
But trying to fit 8 people plus 2 babies in a hospital room is like trying to shove an extra crayon in a full box.
The doctor tried to make it where we had a bigger room, but they didn't have one available.
The doctor comes in after I feed nikii, explaining that my time at the hospital was almost over and me and the girls would be free to go.
2 days later, Jin is strapping the car seats in the car.
"Make sure they're put in there correctly, I don't want anything to happen. " I say, anxiety going through me.
"I will, darling."
One of the car seats falls out of the car.
"Are you sure?"
He turns around.
"Yes! I am sure I can put a car seat in the car correctly, will you get off my back?"
I bite my lip and nod.
Joon gets out of the car and pushes Jin out the way.
"Get in the damn car, Jin. I got it."
"I've got i-"
"No you don't, and you aren't going to take any frustration out on Star who isn't doing anything but being a worried new mother. So go ahead and get in the car and sit with yoongi and the girls, and I'll put in the car seats."
Jin hangs his head, getting in the driver seat.
Joon turns to me.
"You okay?"
I nod.
"Yeah. Yeah I'm fine. "
He gives me a smile before turning around and snapping the car seat in place.
"Alright, let's get the 2 in the seats and head home."
He reaches out and grabs my hand, helping me into the car, grabbing Areona from Yoongi and strapping her in as Jin straps in Nikii.
During the car ride, I watch them both flutter their eyes closed.
I start getting worried.
"Jin stop the car."
He looks up, panicked.
"What?"
"I DONT THINK THEY'RE BREATHING STOP THE CAR!" I start freaking out.
Jin pulls the car over, and turns around.
"Hey calm down darling. They're just sleeping." Jin says.
Tears are streaming down my face as he puts his finger on Nikiis hand, and she grabs it.
"They're okay, I promise."
I nod.
"I'm sorry, Jin."
He smiles at me.
"You're okay. And I should have never gotten mad at you earlier. You were just worried. It's completely normal and I apologize. "
I whisper a quiet "It's okay" and Jin turns around and drives home.
I can't wait to finally be home with my family.
So I'm going to break yalls hearts, as well as mine...
SYL will be coming to an end in a few chapters.
This is something I've sat and thought about, and I feel like there is no need to drag this out longer than it needs.
But good news:
I'm entering this story in the wattys.
So bitter sweet moment right now.
Yall stay hydrated.