And here it is! Not my best, but not my worst. Hope you enjoy it and thanks for reading!
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Chapter 12
I parked behind Kaelyn’s car in her driveway. It was rare that we both had a day off from the café, but today was one of those days. It had been a while since we hung out outside of work, so when Kaelyn asked me if I wanted to watch a chick flick and do something normal girls did, I accepted. I needed the distraction.
His grip on me tightened. I felt his nails dig into my back, and I whimpered again, this time in pain. His nails carved lines of fire on my back.
I shook my head, willing myself not to think of it. Not that that helped. For the past 20 hours I had been willing myself not to think of it and trying to organize my thoughts about what happened. One minute David was, well, normal David; the next, he was a terrifying …thing. I was so terrified and confused, and I couldn’t stop asking myself why. Why was David there last night, as if waiting for me? Why wasn’t he with the pack, where he was supposed to be? Why did he react that way, and what triggered it? Why couldn’t I defend myself? I had sharp instincts, and they kicked on in the face of danger. Why didn’t my magic engender a defensive response for me?
But most of all, why did I feel as guilty as I did scared?
But that couldn’t be right. Why would I feel guilty? I did nothing wrong, did I? I didn’t ask David to be there, didn’t ask him to attack. I wasn’t even able to defend myself properly. So why did I feel like I hurt him?
“Why?” He yelled again. His spit sprayed across my face.
“Because you’re a monster!”
There is was again, that stirring of guilt. As if I said the wrong thing. But I did think he was a monster…didn’t I? He certainly seemed like a monster last night. Like he was going to dig his teeth into my neck and rip my heart out. I felt his claws on my back again and shivered. He was definitely a monster, there was no arguing that.
But if I really had thought he was a monster out to harm me, wouldn’t my powers have kicked in and taken over? Even if my mind were too shocked to process what was happening, my body should have been thinking about self-preservation. It should have kicked in to prevent me from coming to harm.
I looked down at my wrists which were shaded in weak bruises. Besides the memory, this was the only evidence of any sort of attack. Weak bruises, hardly damaging. It didn’t even seem like David had meant to bruise me—on the other hand, I had no idea what he meant to do to me. I didn’t think he wanted to hurt me. But if not to hurt me, why was he there? Almost like he left the pack and returned just to see me.
But that was ridiculous. Wasn’t it?
I groaned and dumped my head in my hands. Why was this all so confusing? It should have been black and white: werewolf attacked witch, witch was scared. There shouldn’t have been all these grey layers of why this and why that, and all these feelings of guilt. It wasn’t right, and there was no reason for it. I had done nothing wrong.
David’s eyes caught the risen bumps on my arms, and the moon reflected in his eyes for a moment before flashing. “You’re cold,” he stated, all humor from his voice…I was suddenly enveloped in warmth. I was frozen for a minute while I tried to process that a warm body was pressed against me, and I could feel a chest moving as its breaths matched mine, and warm arms holding me securely in place. I pressed my face into the crook of a neck, not realizing how cold I had actually been. My arms snaked around and felt the strong, warm muscles of a back.
I shivered at the memory. He had been warm, and I hadn’t really wanted to let go. David didn’t seem like a threat then. He just wanted to be comforted, I think. Which only made it all the more confusing. What had he been doing there?
There was a knock on the window. I jumped and screamed, having forgotten where I was. Kaelyn wore an amused and questioning expression on her face. Her aura was hard to read, as usual, but the edges of it showed concern. She gestured toward the house.
I opened the door slowly as she moved out of the way. “Sorry. I was thinking.”
She nodded. “Well, you’ve been thinking for the past ten minutes, and I was just wondering if you actually planned on coming into the house.”
I closed the car door. “Yes,” I said slowly, with a questioning inflection in my voice.
Kaelyn laughed. “C’mon, my aunt just made bread and it smells good.”
I looked to the woods behind Kaelyn’s house. Normally I wouldn’t think much of it, but after the confrontation last night…I was a bit more paranoid about being around non witch controlled woods.
Kaelyn caught me staring. “Don’t worry,” she said as she opened the front door, “no Shifters here, at least for the next few hours. Aaron said he had to deal with a problem, and everyone else is tired from the full moon. Just us,” she paused while taking off her shoes. “And Aunt Jane when she gets back from the store,” she added as an afterthought.
“What sort of problem is Aaron dealing with that he’s not here with you?”
She turned and frowned. “One of his friends beat himself up.” She paused and cocked her head to the side. “I don’t know if that’s literally or figuratively. I assumed it was figuratively, but now that I think about it, it could be literally.”
I felt my heart beat a little faster, and a bad feeling- crept over me. “Did he saw who it was?”
Kaelyn shook her head. “No, he didn’t say much. He was only here for a few minutes to tell me he would see me later. He seemed pretty concerned though, so I’m going to guess it was either a family member or a close friend. Apparently whomever it was left the pack and came back last night instead of today.”
The bad feeling grew. Guilt began to gnaw at me.
Kaelyn frowned. “I hope they’re okay, whoever it is.”
I nodded my head, my throat too tight to say anything. I knew it was David. Somehow, I just knew. Whatever he did, whatever damage done, it was my fault.
“Anyway,” Kaelyn sighed, trying to make her tone lighter, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t come over to talk about the pack’s problems. And I know I could use some normal girl time, so let’s just paint our nails, talk about hot celebrities, and watch a chick flick.”
I smiled, although I knew it didn’t reach my eyes. “You wanted to have normal girl time with a not normal girl?”
Kaelyn shrugged. “I figured you could use the normalcy. You seemed kind of tense this past week.”
I nodded. “I have been.”
“See? You need normal girl time, just like me. We need to forget our worries and problems, just for a little while.”
“Yeah,” I concurred quietly, “I could really use that.”
“Exactly. So,” Kaelyn held up two DVD cases, “The Lucky One or Friends With Benefits?”
Kaelyn’s aunt walked in on us a couple hours later, laughing our heads off. Kaelyn had been right: normal girl time was exactly what I needed. I needed a distraction from everything—David, Topher, my mother, everything drama in my life. It was easy to forget all that with silly movies, nail polish, celebrity gossip, and a friend who needed the distraction as badly as I did.
Her aunt interrupted us to ask if I were going to stay for dinner.
I glanced at the clock and frowned. “I should really be getting home. My mom is probably expecting me home soon.”
“Your mom is always expecting you home,” Kaelyn mumbled. I gave her an I-totally-agree-isn’t-it-annoying look. Kaelyn knew all about my over protective mother. She smiled back.
“Anyway,” I said as I stood up, “thanks for having me over. I definitely needed some normal girl time,” I added as I stared at my freshly painted purple nails.
“You’re welcome anytime, Leila, you know that,” Kaelyn’s aunt called from the kitchen. “We love having you.”
I smiled in gratitude. Kaelyn’s aunt loved everyone.
Kaelyn walked over with me to her door. “Feeling better?” She asked.
“Much,” I nodded, “thanks.”
She patted my arm. “Always here to help. I’ll see you tomorrow at work.”
“Yeah.” I stepped out the door and took a step. Suddenly I turned around and held the door from almost closing. “Kaelyn? Will you let me know if…if everything’s alright? Y’know, with the pack?”
Surprise covered her features for a moment. She stared at me, her mouth open and shifted her feet.
I blushed, embarrassed that I asked. Why would I care? Why did I care? Shaking my head I quickly said, “Never mid, it doesn’t matter. It’s none of my business,” as I rushed away from the house and toward the safety of my car.
“Leila, wait,” Kaelyn called. I turned and watched her run toward me, where I stood not far from my car. “Why? Do you…do you think it’s David?”
“David? Why…why would I care about David?” I asked unconvincingly.
Kaelyn frowned. “I do notice things you know.” I tried giving her an innocent look, but she didn’t seem to buy it. “What happened, Leila?”
I shrunk back, suddenly afraid to tell her. I hadn’t told anyone; wasn’t sure what to say. The other witches in my coven would want to attack the pack, my human friends knew nothing of Shifters and witches, and I was suddenly too afraid of what Kaelyn would think of me to say anything.
“Leila, what happened?” She asked, her hand resting on my arm. “Did you see something last night? Did you see David? Did something happen that he would regret?” She watched the silent panic on my face and gripped my arm tighter. “You saw him as a wolf, didn’t you?” Her voice was quiet and her grip relaxed following the words.
She stared at me, waiting. I shook my head. “Not exactly.”
“But you did see David?”
I knotted my fingers together and took a deep breath, ready to tell my only friend who would understand.
“He was there after work, outside in the parking lot. He seemed normal. We talked for a few minutes—”
“He was in human form?” Kaelyn interrupted.
“Yeah. Why, is that weird?”
She snapped her jaw shut, which had been open since she asked the question. “Never mind. Continue.”
I fiddled with my hands as I spoke. “He never told me why he wasn’t with the pack, but he said he had somewhere to be. I don’t know where. And, um,” I took a deep breath as a pause, “then I don’t know what happened but we were…hugging, I guess. He was…warm.” My eyes, which had been staring down at my hands looked up at Kaelyn. She nodded and urged me on.
“I felt so weak. I always did at the full moon, but this was almost a different kind of weak. Like I couldn’t think, or anything.” I paused again and gulped. “He wouldn’t let go of me. A-a-and then…he wasn’t quite human anymore.”
I could feel his nails on my back again, moving up and gripping my head. I shivered and tried not to think about it. Those details weren’t important right now; I couldn’t think about them.
“I tried to get away,” my voice sounded lost and quiet, as if it wasn’t coming from me as I relived last night. “He was gripping me too hard. He was hurting me. But I-I couldn’t fight back. He pushed me against my car and held me there.” I looked down at my bruised wrists and ran my hands over them, soothing them from the memory.
“He asked me why I was afraid. He didn’t resemble David anymore. And then…” My voice trailed off, and I felt shamed in my guilt. It burned, the guilt. I could feel it everywhere in me.
“And then what?” Kaelyn asked softly.
I felt my bottom lip quiver as I stared her straight in the eyes. “I called him a monster,” I stated in an ice voice, “and he ran off to the woods.” I looked down at my hands again. “I was so scared,” I confessed in a quiet voice. “So scared he was going to hurt me. Scared of what he’d become. And so scared by my own helplessness.” The last one was a whisper, barely heard. My body was shaking as I tried to hold myself together.
I felt Kaelyn wrap her arms around me and pull me into a hug. She absorbed my shaking with her body and rubbed my back. She didn’t say anything, but her actions were comfort enough. I didn’t cry, but part of me wanted to. I couldn’t shake the feeling of helplessness from the previous night, and retelling the events brought that helplessness to the surface. Kaelyn’s presence reminded me I wasn’t alone, but I didn’t feel any more powerful.
“First time I saw Aaron as a wolf I hid in a closet,” she said after a few minutes. “I was terrified. He came out of the backyard and all I could think about was hiding and getting away. So I shut myself in the closet until my aunt came home and pulled me out.”
I pulled away and looked at her. “A closet?”
She shrugged. “In the panic of the moment it seemed like a good idea.”
I nodded, understanding that panic made people do odd things sometimes. We were quiet for a moment.
“I don’t think he meant to hurt me,” I said.
Kaelyn smiled. “Sometimes it helps if you think about werewolves like you would puppies. Puppies sometimes hurt people by accident when they are being playful, but are mostly harmless.”
I gave her an odd look. “Are you saying David was playing with me?”
She frowned. “It sounded better in my head,” she admitted. “But what I mean is I don’t think he meant to hurt you either. I think he just…wasn’t in control.”
I shivered and held my upper left arm in my right hand. We stared at each other for a moment.
“I don’t know what to do,” I confessed. “I don’t even know how to feel.”
Kaelyn smiled sadly at me. “I know. But he can’t help being born a werewolf any more than you can help being born a witch. Just don’t...judge him based off what he is. Not all werewolves are bad. Trust me, I would know.” She looked over my shoulder and a faraway look entered her eyes. “Some are great and some are monsters. You just need to find out who is who from their actions.”
I rubbed my arm. “I don’t know if I can.”
Kaelyn shrugged. “I didn’t think I could either.”
I formed a small smile. “Now you’re going to marry one,” I said as lightly as I could.
She held up her arms. “Hey now, I’m not getting anywhere near an alter until I graduate college.”
My smile cracked larger. “Aaron will be so disappointed,” I teased.
She gave a small laugh. “He’ll live somehow. But I won’t live if you don’t go home now. Your mother will kill me for thinking I abducted you or something.”
I laughed. “Thank you,” I said with sincerity. “I needed this.” I waved my painted nails. “All of this.”
“Anytime.”
I climbed in the car. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” I called as I closed the door.
Kaelyn nodded and waved. I turned on the car, sent my friend one last wave, and pulled out of the driveway. I felt better than I had in a long time.