I don't think she was purposely slamming doors or stomping. With how fast she was moving and how angry she was, I was lucky she was able to keep her eyes on the road. "I told you not to do anything stupid." She growled through the hallway, rolling into the kitchen when she kicked off her shoes.
I knew she saw when I got in the car. She didn't say anything, just drove and kept her head straight. But once we got back to the house, something released. A fire in her eyes, a subtle storm on the way.
Wincing, "I didn't."
Her hand was on the nob of the cabinet when she looked at me for the first time, "You kiss guys you barely know, sober?"
"Jane, calm down," I pleaded and moved to grab ahold of her tense shoulders, "I wasn't drunk, okay? We were playing a game and he kissed me." I needed her to believe me.
"And you kissed back." The cup in her hand seemed so close to breaking. Her fingers digging into the sides and burned red at the tips.
I took the cup away from her, trying to pry it from her grasp so I could capture her attention. Her mind was elsewhere, doing very little for the ideas she already had in her head. "Don't tell me you're seriously mad at me." Looking up I saw the sag beneath her eyes, dark and hallow. I could feel myself starting to whine.
She let out a large breath , looking down at our interlaced fingers. "This is me trying," She let go. The door of the old cabinet creaking behind her as it shut. Against the floor, her little feet shuffled until her front was pressed to the sink, peering out the window like she always does when she in thought. She drank her water, never breaking her stare with the stars and moon. Her head shook as she scoffed.
"What?" I watched her go to fill the cup with more tap.
"I have been really patient with you, Florence, so if you see no problem with this, than neither do I." She shrugged, the storm coming to the calm much less melodramatically than I anticipated.
I leaned against the counter, arms folded. "That's it?" Though I tried not to sound disappointed.
"That's all. Good night." She took the last sip, tossing it into the sink where it clanked along with the other dishes.
I was left standing in there. That feeling of rejection tumbling over me in a wind-like way. Similar to how it felt Gideon kissed me, and I did kiss back. That same pushing force, not a cold gush, or even something warm. It was just pure pressure, causing my body to feel limp and unable.
With this new ache on my mind I undressed slowly. Holding onto the wall or doing everything I could to keep myself standing.
I knew this wasn't over. Jane was too stubborn to let something like this go—I would push until I got the reaction I wanted. We would play until then.
But for now, Jane was in a sour mood and would stay at a further distance than I intended her to.
Not necessarily a good thing, and who was to say it were bad? I had no obligation to her, nor she to I. If that weren't made clear before, it was tonight.
I peeled back the covers. Mushing myself between the smooth Egyptian cotton and duvet until I felt that dip in the springs. I moved around to get comfortable, struggling until I ended on my back with the blankets somewhere near the floor.
___
"You're still up." The little light above the stove flicked on. The room lit up to glow a subtle yellow.
"I've been a little...restless, recently." She trotted towards the kitchen. Her long legs, sticking out from the lavender chemise she wore. It sunk over her body, barely covering the marks around her upper thighs. "You're up, too." She noticed.
I scratched my head, leaning against the arm rest of the couch. My eyes were still adjusting, "Yeah, uh, I've never been one for getting much sleep..."
The freezer slammed, a tube of peach ice cream jarred between Jane's hand. "This might help," Though she said it very unenthusiastically. I was surprised when she retrieved two spoons and pulled out the two wooden chairs at the nook, screeching along the tile in quiet of the aging home.
I stood, wobbling away to the table, still gnawing at the corner of my eyes to remove any crust. She used her spoon to swirl around until a large scoop was taken out. Licking the sides, "I almost feel bad for sticking you on the couch, you know with the springs being broken and everything."
"Almost?" I rubbed my back, at last sitting down. "It's like you're trying to punish me."
"I should be, you're quite the delinquent."
I smiled, partially from relief. The air surrounding the kitchen was dense, especially with Jane so close, where I could see the end of the dress rise on her body, every shift or movement exposing the start of her skin. "I don't need you getting more of a kick out of me than you already do. I'll just take the screwed up mattress."
She chuckled, bouncing off of my shoulder with her own. Her tongue stuck out again to wrap around her spoon. I took my own scoop, "the peaches really add something." She moaned.
I nodded in agreement, chewing the few bits. The silence drifting back between us, "I don't like when you're mad at me." I said.
"Don't make me mad, then" Her eyes remained closed, bathing in the ecstasy of the creamy treat.
"Jane." Her name was becoming so abundant in my vocabulary, "Don't be like that, what was I supposed to do?"
"Say no."
"That wouldn't have been a nice thing to do." I sunk further into my chair, the wooden bars pressing through my shirt.
She put down her spoon and sat up, "So if I were to ask to kiss you, right now, you wouldn't say no to me?"
I gulped, fixing my gaze back onto the tube. "That's different, it was a dare." I whispered.
"Then I dare you to kiss me."
My breath hitched, the air getting caught in my throat and catching at my lungs. "No." I uttered after I was able to get the coughing to a slow.
"At least now I know you can speak up for yourself." She sat back up, jabbing her utensil to get another chunk.
"You act like he took advantage of me."
"You were with him the whole night, I don't know what he was doing."
"I told you what happened, everything else you decided on." She stayed stoic. An expression hard to read gathered on her face. That beautiful face, that seemed so sad all the time looked like a blank canvas. Something ready to be twisted and manipulated at the strike of a match. I tried to find her somewhere in that dark place, pull her out of her own head. She got lost there all too often.
"Can you honestly say you blame me?" Something in her spoke out delicately, just loud enough for me to hear.
"No," I sighed, "I can't." The ice cream was turning into a cold soup, chunks of peaches gathered a the corners and leftover on our spoons. Jane washed the utensils, drying her hands off when we she came back to the table.
"It really is late now and you need sleep."
"What about you?" I looked up from the seat. The nightgown falling short between her breast. The mounds below hardening when a chill graced the house.
"I'll sleep in tomorrow. Think you can handle breakfast?" She peeked over with her eyebrows raised and cheeks squished.
"Yeah I got it."
"Come on, let's get you to bed." She walked me over to the pull out, pushing back the covers and telling me to get in.
"I've never been tucked in before." Jane fluffed my pillow and brought the blanket up to my chin. I wondered how unattractive I looked right now. Hair scattered about, lips dry.
"Well maybe that's why you've never gotten any good sleep." She got in also, tucking her arm beneath her head and turning to me. She reached out her hand and felt the mattress, bouncing a little. "I was hell to this bed as a child. My dad and I used to jump on it and use the sheet as a parachute." She laughed, a heartfelt one from the gut.
I smiled, "do you miss him?"
She snuggled closer, dropping her arm and lying on the pillow. "Everyday." She whispered, "he was great."
It was silent before I could talk again. Even her eyes started to close, "I hope you can forgive me. It was careless and inconsiderate. I won't do it again."
"Good." Was all she said, moving her hand to readjust the blanket that slid down my back. "Good."