HAPPINESS.
I have always wondered what's actual happiness?
A moment where we jump on our place and squeal out a loud or the moment where tears happily roll down from our eyes?
A moment where smile tugs on our lips or the moment we can't stop laughing?
Looks like happiness also has many types.
As a tear rolled down from Sara's cheek I understood what a small sister is. The one who would fight with you for everything yet the one who would make you smile with her stupid antics. The one who would always shout at you to leave her alone yet the one who would cry when you are finally leaving.
As the words Qubool Hai were said by Asad and Foziah, the bride and groom's family hugged each other and congratulated. Amidst the happiness Sara, Foziah and their parents were having a hard time.
When Asad and Foziah said they'll have a wedding soon they weren't lying. By the time we came back from our honeymoon after 2 weeks, they managed to inform Asad's sister and her friend which Foziah said was one of her ugly talks.
However, they were lying when they said simple wedding. Foziah has got a huge in-laws family and Asad's father wanted to invite everyone because he is his one and only son. From Sara's family, there weren't many people except for her 2 aunts and 2 uncles and their annoyingly adorable kids along with their classy grandma who was the centre of attention with all her jewellery. At one point Sara had mentioned her to be alert anyone could kidnap her, haha.
"Wasn't that cute?" Neha jumped beside me excitedly.
"That was!" I smile as Asad took hold of Foziah's hand and wiped Sara's tear passing some funny comment to which she chuckled and her face crumbled the next moment as she sees Foziah.
We were standing a few steps away from them trying to give the space the family needs. As Foziah's father embraces her in a fatherly hug and kisses her hair I suddenly recall the exact last moment I shared with my dad.
It was Saturday and I was on leave. I requested him to stay home but he said he needed to go to work. We weren't rich, dad and mom did love marriage and none of their parents supported it so they had to move out. All he earned he invested in my education and our home. I had to let him go, I just didn't know I am letting him go forever. He had embraced me in a fatherly hug and kissed my hair then promised me he'll be back by evening.
Mom asked me to stay at our neighbours home as she went with my father who was supposed to drop her till the market. But nothing happened! Dad didn't go to the office so he couldn't come by evening, mom never reached the market and didn't buy groceries and stuff to reach home with full bags and tiredness. They met with an accident and I was waiting for my mother to return and call out my name asking me to help her out. I was waiting for dad's car to pull in the driveway so I could run and hug his legs as I always do and he would laugh and ruffle my hair before handing me a Chocolate bar and I would kiss him on the cheek.
I assumed mom went on a long shopping day and forgot to inform me. As it grew dark outside, I assumed dad got busy with work. I was sitting, standing, pacing outside our home despite our neighbours asked me to join them for lunch and dinner. We didn't have any relatives whom I could call, sometimes I wished mom and dad would have thought about their children when they decided to leave the family and move out. Of course, love is important but parents should think about their children when they make decisions or else they shouldn't make children. Sometimes I wish my grandparents had supported their children, it is not only good living parents should give, but it is also the support.
As the neighbours sheltered me that night, I craved for someone mine to hold on to and cry. Maybe I had uncle and aunt, maybe I had cousins of my age, maybe I had grandparents still alive to tell stories and fall me asleep. The next morning I watched the sunrise, I couldn't get much sleep, I rushed out when the door opened and uncle walked out.
There was police near my home, they broke the door and god knows what they were doing. When the neighbour uncle talked with them I stood silent then he pointed at me and said I was their daughter. I was informed my parents met with an accident and their bodies where in a hospital. I didn't know what to do, I was silent, that was the moment I learned to blink my tears away. I silently cried at their funeral and neighbours gave their sympathy. Soon I was in an orphanage until Badi maa adopted me.
"You are crying." Abir put his arm on my shoulder.
"Got a bit emotional." I smile as he wiped my tear.
"What made you emotional?" He asked in a low tone.
"I miss my Dad," I say slowly, "And Mom."
In response, he pulled me on his side and gave a squeeze on my shoulder.
I like how our marriage is working, we have both learned to open up to each other. It's 4 months since our marriage and I think it's great that we both have learned to trust each other. Love is not the only thing for a successful relationship, it's the trust, understanding and support.
In the past four months, we have had arguments over silly things and sometimes it turns serious but we would be fine by the next moment as we will start talking indirectly. Serious fights only happen when we disagree on the same thing, he says he wants to give me a promotion while I don't need it.
It's been few months since I'm working in his company and who gives promotions so quickly? Well according to Abir, he gives it.
He is kind of planning to transfer me to Marketing Department and make me the manager over there to which I may be capable but I'm not ready. There are two reasons for it.
1) Everyone will think he is giving me a promotion because I'm his wife which is half true. If I wasn't his wife he would have not taken that decision so quickly even if I am good at it.
2) I want to be noticed as a manager for my hard work not because my husband wants me to take that seat.
He argues that I need stop thinking about what people think and honestly I don't give a damn about what they think, I just don't want my career to be misunderstood by others because I own my career. People can talk on my back whatever they want but they can't talk bad about my career, that is the only thing I own.
"I think, we should talk with them before the crowd surrounds them again." Abir curtly nodded at the stage where Foziah and Asad are sitting taking the gifts people handed them and talking with them.
"You are coming, Neha?" I looked at her who was busy capturing photos.
"Umm... Okay!" She nodded locking her phone. Abir kept his hand on my lower back as we walked.
Sara stood beside Foziah as she arranged the gift boxes on the side, Kunal was on Asad's side busy with his phone.
"Congratulations!" Neha screeched hugging Foziah.
"I guess, you all should have congratulated us when we announced we did court marriage." Foziah rolled her eyes.
"I thought it was meant to be a simple wedding." I rolled my eyes at Asad, "In your dictionary does a simple wedding mean booking the entire hotel?"
He chuckled, "This all is my father's decision."
"Seriously, where were these people hidden? I never knew you had this big family." Abir laughed.
"To be honest, if I knew you had this big family I would have never dated you." Foziah glared at him, "Do you even have an idea how exhausted I am?"
"I'm sorry," Asad apologised with a smile.
"You are apologizing because she is exhausted now by your huge family's uncountable selfies and photos with her or because you plan to exhaust her tonight?" Sara looked at him curiously.
"Sara!" Foziah hit her arm as she glared at her.
"You should seriously keep your tone low, your grandma is eavesdropping here." Kunal looked up from his phone. In the corner of the stage sat their grandma as she pretends to sleep in her wheelchair.
"Sara, I wonder from where you get all these queries?" Asad narrowed his eyes at her.
"Oh, I have just read your wife's group conversations while she was a college girl." Sara shrugged.
"I should have known." He laughs but his laughter dies down the moment Foziah glares at him.
"I still feel like hitting you with a frying pan for reading my chats with my friends." Foziah glared at her, she just stuck her tongue out then walked away as someone from her family shouted her name.
"You guys should have dinner. The tables are ready." We turned around to look at Sara's mother. "Unless you guys are still planning to tease the bride and groom about their night tonight?"
One look at her and you'll know she is the mother of Foziah and Sara.
"Mom, please." Foziah hissed back.
"Though I don't think it's their first night, I remember Foziah giving me lame excuses stating she wouldn't be home tonight." She laughed ignoring her daughter.
"I hope you guys are enjoying it if you need anything feel free to trouble my daughter Sara." I let out a chuckle and nod at her.
"And I was present at your wedding, maybe you didn't notice? Or you did?" She looked at me with a smile.
"I did see you glaring at your husband but I wasn't quite sure who you were since Sara didn't stick around you," I recall the memory of my wedding where I was attacked by people around me taking photos with me and Abir.
"Oh, my husband there said the place was a little too much lavender and wanted to go back but the Rajvanshs invited us with so much love that I couldn't just leave without tasting the dinner." She laughed effortlessly.
"My wife loves lavender a little too much so that was fine with us," Abir replied causally.
I wanted to say that despite me loving that smell it was irritating to have it so strong around that I breathed in it.
"Yeah. My husband loves lavender a little too much too, so he made sure the smell was strong enough for us to breathe in and out in it." I smiled sweetly tugging my hair strands behind my ear.
"That's so sweet. I'll leave, enjoy yourselves."
☆☆☆
"No, maa." I laughed. "We actually fight a lot but we love infinite."
"Really? Never seen you guys fighting." She looked on curiously as if I was lying.
"That's because we never show it, we keep it between us but of course Neha, Kunal, Sara, Foziah and Asad have seen us arguing."
"Have you guys ever had a serious fight?" She ran her fingers in my hair as I lay my head on her lap.
We are living in this hotel for three days as we all celebrated the rituals and all. Abir had gone to drop Masi and nanu back home as mother-in-law was busy with some work she couldn't make it to the wedding. I walked to Badi maa's room, the one which Sara's mother gave her asking to stay tonight. It's been a long time since we normally chatted and I couldn't waste the opportunity when I had it.
"I don't know, why are you asking it?" I frown at her.
"I just wanted to warn you to think before saying anything to him while you are arguing." She said each word carefully. "You may hurt him unintentionally." She paused before adding, "Will you?"
"I will try." I nod. It's not like you remember this when you fight, we forget everything while we are arguing all we know is to prove our point, prove ourselves right.
"How was your honeymoon?" She changed the topic as she grinned at me.
"You sound like a teenage now." I giggled. "It was..." I trail not knowing how to describe it. We had spent the first week on beaches and restaurants. The second week he took me for shopping and rides and a club where he didn't drink and let me drink asking me to fulfil this wish as well. I remember giving him a hard time as I argued I wanted to sleep on the beach. Nevertheless, the next morning I found myself wrapped in his arms lying near the shore.
"It was?"
"It was..." I closed my eyes, "Everything."
It was lovely, romantic, crazy, stupid, fun, it was us, it was a surreal thing.
"I recently got the album of your wedding collect it when you stop by." I nodded yawning. Sometimes while returning from the office Abir stops by her home and we talk for a while then have dinner from there or we will just eat some snacks and leave.
"Go to sleep. Abir might be on his way." She bent down and kissed my forehead.
"Good night." I waved to her as I reach for the door.
"Night." She came behind me to close the door.
I walked in the corridor as I dial Abir's number.
"Where are you?" I ask as soon as he answered. I took the elevator to the ground floor.
"On my way," His soft voice came. "Missing me already?"
"Of course not!" I lied. "It's just that we have only one key and I am feeling sleepy. You won't permit me to leave the door open and sleep."
I get out of the elevator and walked into the parking lot wanting to wait for him.
"Sounds good that you know my decisions." He chuckled.
"Okay, drive safe. Be back soon."
"Okay, bye."
I jumped when someone touched my shoulder, I can't be Abir.
"Huh, you sacred me, Rayan." I keep my hand on my chest as I let out a nervous chuckle.
Rayan is one of my college classmates, we were never close because I never made any best friends back in London I just had a good roommate as my friend. Rayan and I shared some classes and group activities.
Recently we made a contract with him. He managed to work online for a few weeks because he was busy and now lately he travelled to India and is here until he finishes his work with us and some other company in India itself.
"I did?" He chuckled. "You look beautiful now."
"Oh, I was always beautiful it's just you didn't notice other girls back then as you had your girlfriend hanging around with you." I roll my eyes at him.
"Ex-girlfriend." He corrected me.
"Wow, how was the breakup meltdown?" I arched an eyebrow.
"It was just fine, I wasn't so attached to her." He shrugged, his eyes trail down my body. "Cute Pyjamas." He commented cracking a smile.
My eyes trail down to my plain black silk pyjamas which Abir bought for me since I was lurking around the hotel I had worn a solid grey cardigan on it to avoid the coolness hitting my half-bare arms.
"I think, I could buy you one, Mr Malhotra." I turn around to find Abir walking towards us.
"Or you could by yourself." He stood beside me.
"Why would I even need it?" Ryan chuckled.
"Because you said they are cute, maybe they could come in handy when you are married and that time your cute comment would mean a lot to your wife than mine." He slipped his hand in mine as he looked at Rayan right in the eye. I couldn't understand why he was acting so rude all of sudden because his tone wasn't sweet it was filled with anger.
"Look, I would apologize if you didn't like me commenting my friend..." Abir cut him in the middle.
"I didn't like you commenting my wife." He clenched his jaw.
"I think, you are being unreasonable," Ryan said with a chuckle.
"I would not like it when you take my anger as fun." He nodded remarkably.
"Abir, that was just a normal comment." I frown at him.
"I wish that was." He said shifting his gaze to me.
"And that is!" I exclaim annoyed.
He shook his head as he exhaled deeply, "Excuse us." He dragged me with him to the elevators.
As he was about to press floor 4, I pressed 10 it would take us directly to the terrace. I don't want anyone to hear us as we argue, I know there is a serious argument on our way.
He stayed silent as the elevator moved. When I say I want protective love I never meant overprotective.
Honestly, overprotectiveness kills the vibe of protectiveness.
I walk out of the elevator and pushed the sliding door to walk on the terrace. I could feel him walking behind me as he exhaled.
"What did you mean by you wish that was just a normal comment?" I spun around as we stood a little away from the blue pool lit up with fairy lights. The cold breeze flew making me hug myself.
"I meant that wasn't just a normal comment." He closed his eyes trying to keep his cool but I was nowhere near cool.
"You know right, he is my friend. And friends joke around, they pass comments, it's just normal, Abir." I throw my hands in the air frustrated that he can't just understand it is normal.
"I still stand by my words." He ran his hand through his hair, "It doesn't look like it's just normal."
I shake my head annoyed, "You can't decide everything for me. I am fine with the comments my friends pass and I'll take action if I don't like it."
"I don't care." He shouted, "I don't care if you are fine with it or not but I'm clearly not fine with it."
"Then it's not my problem and even I don't care," I shouted back at him.
"Why can't you just understand?" He gave me a pained look. "I don't like the way he looks at you and it's something for you to worry about."
"It's nothing for me to worry about because you are being outrageous." I glared at him. "Rayan is not that type of guy." I sighed not knowing how to explain him.
"Nobody shows how they are, it's the way you observe their behaviour and understand them." His voice is low as he looked at me. "To be honest, you don't observe your surroundings nor do you observe the people around you."
I feel anger building inside me, "Yeah because you are the best observant and I'm the worst!"
"I didn't mean to offend you." He shakes his head. "Try to understand."
"I am." I cross my arms on my chest, "I don't get your part, Abir. People are not always the way they show, some show they are happy but they aren't. Rayan is just funny, you are taking it pretty seriously. I am sure that was just a compliment and nothing more."
He looks away staying silent. I take a step towards him and keep my hand on his shoulder, "Look, don't be overprotective, I don't like it."
He lifted his gaze to meet mine and something flashed in his eyes that looked somewhat hurt but I can't keep it inside me, I need to let him know what I feel.
"He may back from the business deal at the end moment. Don't be harsh with him."
"I don't care! Besides, the contract is signed he won't change his mind now." He rubbed his face, "I need you to listen to me, stay away from him."
"You know what?" I glare at him, "Do whatever you want, say whatever you want, I don't care! I'll do what I feel is right for me, I know what to do."
I grit my teeth when he doesn't shout back at me, I get the urge to hit him with something but finding nothing I remove Cardigan and throw it on his face. He removed it and threw it behind me then we heard the splash sound. I turned around to see my Cardigan fallen in the pool, great!
"And I will do what I feel is right for you." He yelled looking frustrated.
"Stop bossing around me." I throw one last glare at him before turning my back to him. "I may be your wife that doesn't mean you will order me with whom to stay and with whom do not."
I walk to a corner and stand there. As I wrap my palms around the glass railing I feel the cold metal, it sort of spend chills in my body. I stared at the sky and got lost in my thoughts.
Love is not enough for a relationship. Despite having understanding between us we both sometimes act stupid, mostly it's me. He chooses to stay silent and when he says he keeps his point. He is stubborn, he is a good listener when it comes to making some decisions but I don't know what's wrong with him today. It's the first time he yelled and I feel angry at myself and him.
I should have just let it go and he should have done the same but when have humans done what they are supposed to do?
I hear his footsteps as he walks towards me and my heartbeat quickens. This is the power he carries with him, his presence does things to my heart.
I refuse to look at him as he stood beside me resting his body on the glass railing. I can feel him looking at me but I keep my eyes on the sky.
Sometimes I wish we both never had arguments but that's not quite good. Fighting just increases love though it hurts us. I guess everything in this world has many faces.
Fightings lead to different things, some get separated some get close.
Is this what Abir meant by, "Nobody shows how they are, it's the way you observe their behaviour and understand them."
Fighting word simply shows a negative vibe but if I observe its behaviour it does lead to something in the end. The romance between the couple, sort of understanding between sisters, the bond of true friendship between friends. Sometimes it leads to separation and sometimes people sit and think and understand their mistake.
But I never had seen Rayan looking at me in some other way, maybe he never showed me? Or maybe I didn't observe it?
I shrug my thoughts away and close my eyes. I was so sleepy when I left Badi maa's room and this argument just took away my sleep. I just need some peace. I feel cold due to the breeze, I rub my half-bare arms to provide some warmth to them.
"You know, I think, this is the part where you are supposed to offer your jacket to me." I keep my eyes on the sky as I mumble.
"I have a blazer on not a jacket." He shrugged forcing me to look at him, I rolled my eyes.
"Whatever it is."
"Why do I have to offer you my jacket, blazer and all?" He slipped his hand near my waist and stood behind me. "When I can give you my warmth." His other hand slipped next making me feel ticklish till my toes.
I leaned back in his arms as he hugged me, his cheeks touched mine before his lips connected there. His lips trailed down from my cheek to neck. A moan escaped my lips as his lips sucked my skin. I leaned my head on his shoulder giving him access.
His one hand slipped in my shirt and laid flat on my stomach. I feel my whole body burning as he kissed my collar bone.
I spun around and crash my lips against his roughly. Our kisses were always gentle and this was different and I just craved for it more. My lips sucked on his lower lip as my hands messed his hair.
We broke the kiss to catch our breaths only to capture another. His fingers slipped inside my shirt as mine unbuttoned the first buttons of his shirt.
"I think we need to stop." He mumbled breathlessly as he tugged my hair gently.
"I know," I whisper inaudibly as I link our lips again. My back hits the glass railing as his touch becomes rushed on my body. I keep my hands on his chest as we pull away to breathe, his heart beats rapidly under my palm and I can feel my heart beating the same way.
My hands trail down his hard chest feeling his abs, "Stop." My lips twitch up in a smirk as I watch him close his eyes and trying to control himself.
I lean in to press my lips on his collar bone, he takes a sharp breath and I see his adam's apple bobbing. He is kind of aware I'm still not ready for the lovemaking procedure. I love him, I love to kiss him but that doesn't mean I'm ready for that because I have always learnt that things can't be undone so do it when you are sure.
It's not something simple, it's not just about desire or pleasure, it's about feeling comfortable, acceptable and responsible.
It's possible, I will be pregnant very soon then I don't need Abir and me to have a feeling of still not ready to be parents. I need to make sure we are responsible before anything.
I trust him but it's better to have a conversation than always assuming. He may love kids as he once mentioned but I need to make sure if he wants kids because loving is not enough.
"I love you," I whisper as I lock my arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him. His hands grip my waist as he kisses, as I feel our tongues touch I hear a soft voice behind.
"Am I interrupting something?"
I pull away and groan, thank God she can just see our backs it would be embarrassing.
"Button me up." Abir chuckled at me, I roll my eyes and button his shirt.
"That was..." Sara approached us as she stood two steps behind us, "Hot."
"How long have you been there?" I look at her unbelievably.
"Maybe I heard you whisper I love you..." She trailed off, "I, honestly wanted to see where this will lead but never been a fan of hotness!"
"I mean, even if I was, I would never want to witness my boss and his wife or my friend and my CM ripping off each other's clothes."
Abir turned around to face her, "You are exaggerating it."
"I think I like that, exaggerating." She chuckled. "I always exaggerate you know, in school as well I was a pro at it."
"Besides, I heard you were having an argument that's why I came I didn't know you guys were making out in open air." She rolled her eyes.
"Who said you we were arguing?" Abir frowned at her.
"That new business partner, uh what's his name?" She looked on confused.
"Rayan Malhotra?" I and Abir say at the same time.
"Yeah! I was coming up for fresh air when I saw him getting in the elevator I asked him if he needed something. He simply said you guys were arguing because of him and he wanted to apologise." She finished, Abir looked at me and I looked on not knowing what to say.
"Besides, you know that psycho has a deep crush on Asad. She was just having a meltdown and mom is acting to console her that is why I needed some fresh air." She twirled around smiling to herself.
But my mind is somewhere else, maybe Rayan wanted to apologise but still, it leaves an unsettled feeling in my heart.
I think I should listen to Abir. I'll ask him to meet me in private so we sort this out.
"You didn't say me I love you too." I cross my arms on my chest as I narrow my eyes at Abir.
"You know, I love you." He chuckled pulling me on his side. I smile as he kissed my head.
"I think, you should play the song love me like you do and continue whatever you were doing," Sara shouted as she twirled, "I promise, I won't see."
"I would always choose bedroom you know." Abir rolled his eyes at her and I giggled.
Yeah, even I would always choose bedroom though her idea of playing the song love me like you do doesn't sound bad.
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So, how many are bored? Haha.
I felt like I'm dragging it but published whatever I wrote.
I am happy that my father got me a new phone and I think I will be regular now.
Hope you enjoyed the update.
Thank you for all the love in the last chapter.
Do vote, comment and share your views.
Thank y'all.