Lily hears herself let out a loud groan as she rolls out of bed. Her head pounding, she wonders just how much she drank last night. Scenes flash through her head as she tries to tease apart what is reality and what was her drunk imagination - drinking and dancing and the ridiculous dive bar, a stolen kiss, being chased through the woods by wolves, stumbling home, Steve in bed, ... then her mind flashes back to the wolves, or were they werewolves?!?!?
Groaning again as she hears the chorus of "moms" from down the hall. Looking over, she sees that Steve is still passed out with absolutely no intention of even pretending to hear the kids and help out. This reminds Lily why she hates going out - she is always the one that needs to get up and take care of the kids as Steve sleeps in again, even though he spent the night watching TV on the couch. Going through the calendar in her head as she takes some aspirin and tums (...the joys of age), he has to leave for work on Monday...he really should be staying home longer to spend time with her and the kids. Lily wonders how long she can keep up this level of work, both jobs and at home. What is she going to do when the kids are out of school for the summer?
As Lily finishes up with making lunch, she finally hears Steve moving around. Although he gets up, all he manages is to move to the couch ask about lunch. She notices that he ignores the kids asking to play and instead turns on the game and zones out. Lily starts her new deep breathing exercises to keep from getting too frustrated. She could always say something, but that never seems to work out the way she hopes.
Later that evening, Lily is sitting at her computer prepping for Mondays class when she looks out to the woods behind her house. Blinking a few times and shaking her head, she still sees a wolf at the edge of the yard, a wolf with a stare that she senses that she knows. Going through a litany in her head, she knows she is not drunk this time, but is she going crazy? Has the depression, anxiety and stress finally caused her to truly loose her mind and start seeing things, imagining things? Trying to turn back to her work and forget the image burned into her mind, inner turmoil persists.
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Braxton tenses in his wolf form as he senses Lily's gaze. Looking at her house, he begs her to come out, trying to link and feel her, pull her towards him. When he had gone for a run in his wolf form a few hours ago, he had no intention of coming into town or stalking his red haired mate. Really, all he felt was the need to run, but the next thing he knew he was pacing just outside the clearing around Lily's house. He had watched the movements of her family like the stalker he was becoming. The mate bond is there, he could not resist the pull even as he tried to talk himself out of becoming a creep. It was stronger with the kiss...he could feel it...he could sense her and sense that she was feeling the pull.
As he continues to watch the window, he notices that Lily has left her office space. Trying to glance at multiple windows to find her, Brax hears a door opening. Lily gets in her car and drives down the street a bit and stops. Brax follows along, coming out of the woods to meet her after changing back into his human form and donning some workout pants.
Lily gazes on in confusion. Braxton takes the moment to try and explain what he is and what a mate bond is...stumbling a bit along the way.
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"Lily." Braxton pulls in a long, steadying breath before continuing. "Lily, the pull you feel to me is called a mate bond by my culture. We are born werewolves. A series of genetic mutations, which we see as a blessing from the Moon Goddess, allows us to shift between human and wolf form. While the easiest time to do this is at full moons, adult weres are also able to shift most any time."
He pauses again when he notices Lily's confusion. "By shift, I mean that I can take on both a human and a wolf form. Even in human form I retain some of my wolf traits, like heightened hearing and smell. As a wolf, I can..." The look on Lily's face takes him back and Brax tries to focus on explaining the pull instead of the genetic and biological aspects of his werewolf identity.
"I was born into a pack that calls the mountains around here home. I have lived here my whole life and when I was younger waited for my mate. The mate is beyond just human love, but has a connection through our souls, through our very beings. While you are human and do not have the same genetic mutations that I carry, you still feel the pull. You were made for me by the Moon Goddess. If we become one, then each of us will make the other whole and bring out the best in each other...at least, that is what we believe." Brax pauses for a breath and looks over at her.
Lily just stares, stunned. Her mind is a whirl. She is a biologist for gods' sake...this is not real. The man in front of her must be slightly insane, or having a terrible joke at her expense.
But...Why does it feel real? Why does it make an odd level of sense to her? Without thinking, she steps towards Brax's warmth as confusion still rattles around in her mind. Reaching up, Lily gently touches his cheek, eliciting a groan from Brax. Lily feels a slight tingling in her finger tips that calms her rattling mind and narrows her senses to the man standing in front of her.
They gaze at each other, as Lily brings her other hand up to Braxton's cheek then moves both slowly into his hair. There is more of a height difference than she was expecting, so she steps a bit closer and moves onto her toes. She feels Braxton's hands move slowly to her back, as he begins to rub slow circles at her shoulder and lower back, brushing his fingers along sensitive areas. Time slows as they each slowly move their hands over the other. The movements are not sensual, but a kindling of something deeper that sends a shock through Lily's body.
In the next second, guilt washes through Lily as her mind flashes back almost 15 years.
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She was 22 and just out of college, moving to a big city for her first real job. As a vet tech, she hoped to learn more about animals before going on to graduate school. Not only did she pick up much needed real world skills, but she also found her first real boyfriend. One evening, after picking up a few things at the store, she literally ran into Steve. He was just a bit older than her, but offered to help her get settled into town and show her around.
They became friends first, then friends with benefits...a fling she had thought. Little had she realized how much her life would change. The two of them would build a bond together, go to graduate school together, move to multiple towns and states, and have a few kids along the way.
They had shared so much, she couldn't throw it away for a man she barely knew. Going through a rough patch, a few years of more distance and less growth together, did not mean she should be cheating on Steve. They were a team and had been through rough times before - like right after the twins when she went through a deep post-partum depression, they would weather this too...together.
Her mind jumps back into her body, which had been on a different journey of the senses.
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Lily folds further into his arms as Braxton senses a change in her, in the connection that he was feeling strengthen just moments before. Lily places a small kiss onto his lips as she steps back from his warmth.
"Brax, I feel the pull to you and a connection like I never have before. But, Braxton, I have a family. I cannot just leave my husband and kids for you. I cannot break apart our family for my own selfish needs." Lily takes a deep breath and smiles sadly. "I don't really understand what is going on. I have been feeling unhappy and depressed in my life, but that doesn't make this right. I need to go home."
Braxton's look is just shy of pain, Lily can sense his withdrawal and his heartbreak even as his hand reaches back out to her. "I can't do this any more - no more random meetings, no more longing gazes, no more stolen moments...I need to go back to my real life. This is just shy of a fantasy moment." She turns and walks away into the darkness towards her waiting car.
Braxton felt the pain in his chest, but there really wasn't anything he could do. She had made her choice, and now he was going to have to live with it. Brax wasn't angry with her choice. He understood. She had a family and a life. How could he have even thought for a second she would walk away from that? She couldn't leave her family, her kids.
Sighing slightly, Brax turned to start the slow trek home. He did not feel like shifting much. He felt like a hormonal 16 year old that was starved for attention, not the 40 year old grown man that he should be.