"Hyuk, how about this?!" Dara squealed while trying to put a headband in Hyukjae's head.
"No! I don't like monkeys," Hyukjae protested firmly as he was trying to dodge Dara's hands above his head. Dara was trying to make him wear the monkey ears headband she choose from the souvenir shop inside the amusement park.
After locking a love padlock on the Namsan Tower earlier, they took a drive towards the nearby amusement park. It was already two hours before midnight but fortunately, the amusement park will be close later than its usual closing time as an early celebration for Valentine's Day. The park was not crowded. As it was already late, only a few couples are still there, having a date on this peaceful night with the moon and stars shining bright above them.
When they reached the amusement park, Dara excitedly dragged him towards the roller coaster ride. Which to Hyukjae's horror for the reason that he was not expecting her to drag him to the extreme rides first. He made a mental note that albeit to Dara's beautiful and angelic face she's a badass female inside.
After the ride on the roller coaster, she dragged him to the Vikings. Then, to the flying Frisbee. And last to the Disco Pang pang. Which made an awkward situation between them because Hyukjae was shielding Dara, preventing her to fall off the seat. But the awkwardness didn't last long because it was fun. He had to admit to himself that he was having fun with her, and that fun was different from the elucidation he knew. It was a kind of fun that made him forget the ordeal he had when they were in the Namsan Tower earlier.
And speaking of fun, he was having fun teasing Dara right now. She's standing in front of him, wearing a rabbit ears headband. She is constantly showing him different kinds of headbands for him to wear, but he refused all of them. He is refusing it not because he didn't like it but for the reason that Dara's reaction is too adorable to miss.
"Uggh!" Dara said and he frowned at Hyukjae. "Why didn't you like them?! I have shown you 6 different headbands and you don't want any of them." And she's cutely stomping her feet on the ground. She averted her gaze to the row of animal ears headbands. Looking for a possible candidate that will suit Hyukjae's liking.
Hyukjae bit his lips. He is preventing himself from laughing so hard. He was standing there, both hands were inside his padding jacket's pocket and observing the earnest face of her – knitted eyebrows and pressed lips. He didn't know why but he was liking every reaction of Dara.
Dara was scanning every shelf of the store until her gaze landed on the brown pointed ears headband. She excitedly picked it up from the shelf and showed it to Hyukjae.
"I found the most suitable ears for you!" Dara said. She beamed at Hyukjae who is looking at her with raised eyebrows.
"What's that?" Hyukjae asked.
"It's squirrel ears!" Dara said and she immediately put it on Hyukjae's head. Then, she grabbed Hyukjae's hands preventing him from removing them. "It suits you! Look at the mirror!"
Dara dragged him to the middle part of the store where a full-length mirror is plastered on the wall.
Hyukjae inwardly grinned. Well, the ears are cute and he won't lie it suits him. But of course, he needed to tease Dara some more before giving in to her cute demands.
"I don't like this. It doesn't suit me at all." Hyukjae complained
"It suits you!" Dara retorted and she pinched him on both cheeks. "Look at your plump cheeks! So plump like a squirrel."
Hyukjae winced in pain. And he gently holds Dara's hands removing them from his cheeks.
"That's hurt..." Hyukjae grimaced as he's rubbing his reddened cheeks. "But it's still a no for me."
Dara frowned and she pressed Hyukjae's together until it puckered. "It's a yes! Come on don't be picky Hyuk. I tried my best to pick all those headbands you rejected. Please just this once, accept it."
A grin had slightly formed in Hyukjae's puckered lips when he saw Dara's frowned. She was looking at him straight in the eyes with puppy eyes. And seeing those eyes, his stubborn refusal turns into a sweet surrender.
"Alright!" Hyukjae said. "Remove your hands! I'll wear this!"
"Really? Yay!" Dara squealed. She loosened the pressure on Hyuk's cheeks. She playfully gently slapped it three times before putting her hands down and grabbing his wrist.
"Let's go now Hyuk! Let's go to the ice cream shop. Let's eat ice cream!" Dara said and he dragged him towards the exit door of the shop.
Hyukjae chuckled and he suddenly stopped walking. Dara turned around and give him a confused look.
"Why did you stop?"
"We haven't paid this yet," Hyukjae said. "Do you want to go to jail instead of going to the ice cream shop?"
Dara gasped and her mouth agape. "Oh no, you're right!"
And he dragged Hyukjae's to the cashier counter instead...
"Hmm! This is yummy!" Dara exclaimed while wiggling her whole body, savoring the strawberry ice cream she's been eating on a cup.
Hyukjae chuckled, while he is watching Dara's reaction. He is also eating ice cream in a cup. They were seated on a bench in front of the ice cream shop, watching the shining stars above the sky. And the animal ears headbands were neatly placed beside them. They are eating in silence until Hyukjae had finished eating his cup. He throws it at the trash can beside the bench, and he checked Dara if she's finished eating. But when he looked at her, she was dazed and she's absent-mindedly scooping imaginary ice cream on her empty cup. His brows were furrowed confused about the odd behavior.
"Dara?" Hyukjae called
"Hmmm?" Dara unheedingly turned to him.
"Are you finished eating?" Hyukjae asked carefully.
Dara looked down at her cup. And she was surprised that she already finished it. "Oh! I didn't notice. I already finished it."
Hyujae's frown got deeper. Nevertheless, he didn't question Dara, he removed first the empty cup of Dara's hand and threw it into the waste bin. He glanced at her and again, she was dazed. And he can tell that something is bothering her.
"Dara?" Hyukjae said. And he gently tapped her shoulder. "What's wrong?"
Dara looked at Hyukjae. "Nothing," And she smiled reassuringly. "I am just having some earnest thoughts."
"About what?" Hyukjae asked.
Dara paused for a minute. She was contemplating if she's gonna tell Hyukjae what was bothering her without offending the latter. But in the end, she decided just to voice what on her mind.
"I was just thinking why your answer to my question earlier about how does love feels was painful."
Hyukjae was silenced. He didn't expect that his answer will leave an impact on her. Dara looked at Hyukjae with serene eyes. If Hyukjae is still hurting over something she wanted to help him to forget about his pain. She wanted to help him change how he views love because she knew that love is not painful even though she didn't experience being in love yet.
"Why does it painful Hyuk?" Dara asked carefully.
Hyukjae remained silent. He looked away at Dara and he averted his gaze to the ground. Now he was forced to remember the nightmare that haunted him for two years. The nightmare destroyed him to the point that it messed up his mind. How he wished that it was just indeed a nightmare, but no, it was his reality, a reality that he didn't even want at all.
Dara's heart was crushed when she saw the written agony in Hyukjae's face. And seeing it, she regretted asking the question because it was clear that Hyukjae was hurting over something. One proof of it was when they are in the Namsan Tower and his silence.
"It's okay if you don't want to tell me. I am sorry for asking that." Dara apologized
Silence had engulfed between them. It was deafening and for both of them, it was a three minutes torture of silence. Hyukjae was in deep convictions, he didn't want to tell it for it was too painful to retell. But a sudden pull inside of him told him that it was okay to retell at least for Dara.
"It was because of what happened two years ago," Hyukjae said weakly.
Dara snapped on her left side, looking at Hyukjae, who was still looking at the ground. She was surprised that Hyukjae suddenly spoke. She was surprised that he's telling it to her. She waited for Hyukjae to continue but he didn't speak again.
"What... happened?" Dara asked.
Hyukjae took a lungful of air. He looked at the stars, trying to look for an assurance that it was okay to continue. And strangely, there was one shining star that's like telling him it's okay.
"Two years ago, I am engaged to my long-time girlfriend," Hyukjae started. "Her name was Jieun. She was the sweetest girl I knew. I was really in love with her. I loved her with all my heart, I was ready to sacrifice everything for her. And when she said yes, when I asked her to marry me, I was really happy. But one month before our wedding, she left me."
Hyukjae held his breath, as he felt that his shattered heart is breaking into little more pieces. But he tried to remain calm and fighting back the tears that were forming on his tear duct.
"She left me. And she's not coming back anymore." His voice trembled. And the memory film that was stored from the farthest way of his mind, had vividly played on.
It was one Saturday afternoon and Hyukjae was standing in front of the building where Jieun was working as a radio DJ. It was Valentine's Day and he was planning to take her out for a lunch date in celebration of the said holiday and a celebration before the wedding next month.
Jieun was his fiancée. They were together for 5 years. And last month he asked her to marry him which the latter happily said yes. He was beyond cloud nine when she gave him her sweetest yes. She was his most precious treasure. She was the love of his life, the first and last girl he will ever love. He looked and smiled at the lavender bouquet that he was holding, it was her favorite flowers. Then, he averted his gaze to his wristwatch to check the time. It was 2 minutes before noon and Jieun will come out in no time.
He averted his gaze inside the building and he saw a familiar figure of the girl who is coming out of the elevator. It was her, his fiancée. A gummy smile had formed on his lips and he was about to open the entrance door of the building, suddenly a man who is also coming out from the elevator had pulled her into a hug. His smile faded and it was replaced by enraged. The man was Jang Kiha, Jieun's co-worker, and admirer. Kiha was so in love with Jieun. He stubbornly keeps pursuing her even though he knew that Jieun was already in a relationship and engaged with him.
He quickly opened the door and he sprinted towards the two of them. He furiously pushed the man who's hugging his fiancée.
"Hyuk?!" Jieun was so shocked to see his fiancée. She flinched when she saw the inflamed gaze of him to her and his co-worker.
"Why this bastard is hugging you?" Hyukjae said and his voice was raging with anger. He was preventing himself from punching the man because he didn't want to cause a scene that might harm Jieun.
"Let's just get out of here." Jieun pleaded. She attempted to hold his hand but he shoved it away.
Hyukjae wordlessly walked out of the scene as Jieun was trailing behind him. His whole body was shaking because of the anger. He reached the car and slid inside, not bothering to wait for her fiancée. He threw the flowers on the backseat, causing it to wilt. Jieun quietly slid inside, closed the door, and put on a seatbelt. He started the engine and drive towards the highway.
"Hyuk.." Jieun started. "Please don't misunderstand what you saw earlier."
Hyukjae didn't answer. His gripped on the steering wheel tightened. He pushed more the accelerator giving the car more speed. It was not the first time that he witnessed Kiha being bold on Jieun. The first time he saw it was outside of a restaurant when Jieun and his co-worker had a company dinner. When he saw it, it was chaos. He punched Kiha and it took a toll on his relationship with Jieun. But as their love for each other, was stronger than the storms, they overcame it. But when he witnessed it again, he can't help but think all the negatives a man can think when they saw their lover was hugging another man.
"Hyuk, you know that I love you right? I won't cheat on you so please don't misunderstand what you saw. Kiha was bothering me inside the elevator and when I stepped out of the elevator he just suddenly pulled me into a hug. I tried to push him but he won't budge." Jieun explained
Hyukjae scoffed. "Really?!" He took a glance at her with dangerous eyes. "Funny you're ranting about it. When in fact you can't bring yourself in distancing with that bastard! I told you countless times to resign from that broadcasting station! But what did you do? Did you listen? No! You keep saying that you can't! For what reason? Because of your parents?! As if Mom and Dad won't allow you to switch companies."
"Hyuk, you know that I am in training to take over Dad's company right? So I can't resign." Jieun said. The broadcasting station where Jieun was working is owned by her father. "Jonghoon is too young to take over and Dad isn't getting any younger so I have to train to take over the company."
Hyukjae let out a harsh sighed. "Let's say you can't resign because of the 'take over' matter. But why can't you distance yourself from him?! Why are you allowing him to do that to you?! Why aren't you rejecting him?! Goddamnit!"
"I already rejected him. And for your information, I am distancing myself from him but he is the one who is persistent in bothering me." Jieun retorted.
"Then you should reject him firmly! It seems that bastard is hard-headed huh?!" Hyukjae said while laughing a humorless laugh. And he averted his gaze to Jieun not caring to look on the road for there is no traffic. "Or maybe you like him too so you can't bring yourself from completely distancing from him?!"
Jieun ear's twitched. "What did you say?! I like him too?! Hyuk! Don't be ridiculous! I don't like him! And please eyes on the road!"
Hyukjae did what he was told to do. And to his horror, a child was crossing the street. He didn't know that he was driving towards the pedestrian lane. He immediately stepped on the brake and steered the steering wheel on the left. Avoiding the crossing child which he thankfully avoided. But the next thing that happened was unforeseen.
"Hyuk!! Ahhhh!!.. " Jieun shouted as she gripped on the arms of Hyukjae.
The shout of Jieun has deafened his ears. Everything seems to happen in slow motion for Hyukjae, but in reality, it happened in a blink of an eye.
Their car had crashed on the railings and the lamppost beside the sidewalk. The impact was so strong causing the car to flip multiple times before it landed in the middle of the intersection. The car was beyond wrecked. It has been bent. The lavender flowers petals shattered inside the car. The glass on the window, in front and the back of the car were shattered on the street. His legs were stuck below the steering wheel, squishing half of his body. He felt his body becoming numb as a warm liquid gushed out from every part of it. All of his muscles, veins, and organs were screaming in pain. He was slumped lifelessly on the wrecked driver's seat.
Shouts and panic of the bystanders can be heard from every side of the street. His breathing becomes uneven. He tried to crack his eyes open but all he can see was darkness. And with all the strength he had, he tried to reach for Jieun's hands. It was cold. And he gripped it tightly until he had fallen into a deep sleep.
Dara was crying. She was crying uncontrollably while listening to the painful story. She was hugging him as she tried to give comfort to her fragile friend. Every word that had come out of his mouth had pierced her heart into pieces. It was too painful to hear. It was too painful to see him in his most vulnerable state. She can feel the hopelessness in his voice. And it was crushing her heart even more because there's nothing she can do about it, but to listen between his sobs and words.
"It was my fault..." Hyukjae continued as his voice was trembling. He was crying on Dara's shoulders while retelling the painful memory that he had placed deeper on his memory lane. But he was eventually forced to stroll in it again. And tripping to that lane brings despair, anger, guilt, and regrets to him. He wanted to cry and let out all the pain he had endured for the last 2 years of his life. If he had the power to turn back the time, he would change everything. He will do anything just to bring back Jieun. But he knew it was impossible because...
"She died. She's gone because of me... I killed her..."