sitting down in math class was complete torture.
Today I didn't have the rain to distract me from my teachers obnoxious voice.
I was never good at math. I never understood why I had to learn why, y=mx+b. But I did have to pass two years of math to graduate.
Graduation. Graduating always scared me. I never knew what I would do after high school, I never thought that far ahead. I only ever thought in the present, never the future. Because J had no control of what could happen in the future, so what was the point?
I rest my chin on my palms and turn my head to glance at the time.
Five more minutes and the class will be over. It absolutely sucks have math for a first period. My brain can't function properly this early.
Deciding I should just relax, I turns my gaze out the window.
It isn't raining today but it's beautiful out. The sun was out but there was a slight breeze that didn't make it too hot.
I squint my eyes against the sun to get a better look at the trees across the campus.
I haven't thought of the creature since last night. A shiver runs up my spine and I involuntarily shudders, recalling that, thing.
I look at the clock once more to check the time,
*Tick*
*Tick*
*Tick*
And the bell rings throughout the room. The class gathers their belongings and shoves them into their bags as I does the same.
The class dispersed amongst the crowded halls and I follows closely behind.
As I push my way through the halls, I feel a slight shiver crawl up my neck.
I bring my hand to the back of my neck to feel the peach fuzz rising up.
I glance behind myself and scan the crowded halls, feeling as if someone is watching me.
But I see nothing other students shoving their way through the hallway.
I remove my hand from my neck and slightly shakes it while it's at my side, feeling as if it's asleep.
-
"Hi, Mr. Maverick." I greets as I make my way into the classroom.
It was no lie when I told my mom he was handsome. He really was.
He had dark hair that was slightly gelled back. He had a dark beard and a sharp nose with a slight bump on it, which only made him more attractive. Whenever he smiled, I caught sight of a single dimple on the left side of his cheek. And his eyes were a beautiful shade of hazel.
"Hi, Mrs. Aislinn, please take your seat." He says as I walk further into the classroom.
As I near my seat I notice how Dominic has yet to arrive.
I sit down and search my bag for materials. As i'm taking out my field trip permission slip, the door abruptly opens and I look up to see a flustered Dominic, who was breathing more heavily than usual.
"I'm so sorry i'm late. My teacher held me back in my last class so I ran here." He says through some breaths.
I chuckle as he nears his seat beside me,
"Why did your teacher hold you back?" I ask out of curiosity,
"It was about the field trip. You know how my parents aren't ever home. I asked if she was able to sign it the form for them, or me, whatever."
I chuckled at his words and ask, "Well did she sign it?"
"She sure did!" He exclaims as he waves around the form in my face.
I snatch his permission slip and walk up to the Mr. Mavericks desk to turn them in.
As I walk back, I say to Dominic, "I almost forgot to get mine signed, me and mom were busy talking about... dad."
Dominic looks at me with a sad smile,
Hey, you know I'll help you find him, no matter what. It's me and you Aura. I cant imagine losing a parent like that."
I smile at my friend in thanks as I settle back down in my seat.
-
"Get that out of my face." I scold Katlynne.
Katlynne continues to wave around the rolled blunt, and the smell was horrid. Katlynne laughs at my words and pulls out a lighter from her jacket pocket and brings it to the blunt that rests on her lips.
"Oh come on, I came outside to actually enjoy the weather and you're over here smoking that shit in my face." I say as I flick the lighter out from her fingers.
"Hey I was gonna use that!" Katlynne yells,
"How about don't smoke in my face, yeah? You already know I hate it."
"Okay lighten up will ya? I'm putting it away."
Instead of putting it away, Katlynne pulls on some random kid and gives him the blunt, which he gladly takes with a wide grin. I shoots her a questioning look but katlynne only shrugs.
As I look up I catch sight of Dominic and I smile at him.
"Hey ladies, what were- damn that smell is hella strong." He says and fans his face with his free hand.
"Yeah that was all me, sorry. I forget how much Aura here hates when I smoke, but I know it's all love." Katlynne says as she comes to pinch my cheeks.
I shoo her hands away with my elbow as I try to balance the food on my fork, which was mash potatoes, that tasted like complete rubber. I hated eating school lunch, but I couldn't not eat anything.
I look up towards Dominic and asks, "So what'd you think of the news last night?"
"Oh hell! I almost forgot. That was totally sick. I mean like it was like a gross type of sick but also a cool type of sick, ya now?" He explains while chuckling. I cast a disgusted look to him and turn to katlynne.
"Yeah that picture you sent me Dom was nasty. Maybe that's what Landon saw in the woods." Katlynne explains.
As both Dominic and Katlynne continue to talk about the creature. I become to feel sick to my stomach.
"Hey, I'll see you guys later, I gotta go to the bathroom." I throw my food into a trash bin and wave to both of my friends.
As I continue to walk, nearing the doors to the bathroom, I feel the familiar shiver run up along my spine, and the hairs on the back of my neck stand once again.
I don't glance back to figure out it's a persons stare upon me.
-
I close the bathroom stall and lock it.
I close the toilet seat and sit on it. It was my mistake to bring up the creature at lunch. It brought all the unwanted thoughts running back into my head.
I think back to my horrid dream.
Darkness? 'Welcome the Darkness', they said.
What darkness were they talking about?
I look down to my right hand to see it shaking against my will.
I bring my left hand to stop it from trembling but quickly notices that it's shaking as-well.
My breathing starts to come out more harshly and it feels as if the bathroom stall is closing in on me.
I stand on my now trembling legs and harshly opens the stall door, stumbling out.
I look around the bathroom, which starts to look blurry, due to the tears gathering in my eyes. I put both hands on my chest, thinking it'll slow my rapid heart.
Removing my hands off my chest, I brings them to my scalp and slowly tug on my hair, wanting to focus on some type of pain to distract me from my panic episode.
The tears now start to roll down my cheek, down to my chin and onto the cold tiled floor beneath me. As the tears drop, I could have swore I heard it hit the floor.
Nothing is helping me calm down. My body feels as if it's on fire, the walls look like they're closing in on me. My whole body is trembling. The air around me feels as if it's being sucked out of the room, making it hard for me to breath. I start choking on my own tears at the lack of air I feel going through my lunges.
I stumble my way to the bathroom door and open it, while covering my mouth, trying to muffle my sobs.
I rush out of the bathroom and quickly looks around the halls making sure nobody is here to see me.
I'm lucky today, noticing nobody in the halls.
I slides my body along the wall, feeling it's stability. I places my head onto my shaking knees and wrap my arms around my legs.
My whole body vibrates because of my harsh sobs.
Maybe if I wasn't paying so much attention to try and calm my breathing, I would have heard the doors opening. And hear the footsteps coming closer to me.
I don't have enough time to react as I feel two warm arms wrap around my body.
I jerk my head off my knees and see Dominic holding me. He looks down at me and shakes his head sadly.
Dominic pushes my head on his chest as he continues to hold me.
He was always the only person to understand my panic attacks. He was the only one willing to be there for me.
I don't fight my sobs as I cries into his chest. His arms wrap around me tighter as he rests his chin on top of my head, giving me a small kiss along my temple.
My body feels heavy now that I have calmed down.
I remove my head from his chest to see that he's already looking at me.
My eyes becoming teary again as I whisper, "Thank you."
He nods his head in understanding, giving me another kiss along my hairline.
-
Once I step inside my house, the first thing I notice, is my mother sleeping on the couch with a cup gripped loosely around her fingers.
I make my way over and quickly grab the cup to smell what's inside.
Whiskey.
I cast a confused look at my mother's sleeping figure, wondering why she'd start drinking again.
I place the empty cup on the coffee table and notices a half empty whiskey bottle sitting on the table. I snatch the bottle with force and drain the liquid into the sink. I will not handle her when drunk. Not again.
During my father disappearance, my mother would drown herself in alcohol. I would have to feed her, help bathe her. I would come home to find her drunk or passed out from the amount of alcohol she consumed. I couldn't deal with her being drunk again.
I throw the now empty bottle of whiskey into the trash bin and march my way up the stairs to my bedroom.
Once I lock the door, J takes off my clothes and change into something more comfortable to wear. As I'm sliding on my sleeping shorts, I hear a faint knock at the door,
"Aura? Can you please open the door."
I want to ignore her plea, not knowing what she'll say during me drunken state. But I can't shake off the feeling that my mother might need me.
Maybe this time it'll be different. Maybe this time she won't blame me for it.
"Aura open the door honey."
I grab the handle of the door and slowly open it.
I'm met with my mother's bloodshot eyes. Her hair is greasy and her breath reeks with the whiskey I threw down the drain.
"Why are you home so early?" She asks sternly.
"I'm sorry, I should have called. I wasn't feeling well so I just decided to come home early-"
"You weren't feeling well." She scoffs,
"you!?"
I flinched back at her sudden outbursts and say, "Mom please, you're drunk. How about we just sleep it off, okay?"
"I cannot believe you Allaura."
She turns and walks down the stairs, while I follow closely behind, not wanting for my mom to hurt herself.
Elowen starts frantically looking for the bottle of whiskey I threw away.
My mother turns to me, face full of anger that it appears red.
"Where is the bottle Allaura"
"Mama, please. You're not thinking straight so let's just go sleep-"
"Allaura where the hell did you put the bottle, I swear-"
"I threw it away, mom." Her head snaps towards me. I wants to squirm under her threatening stare but I keep my chin up.
"You mean to tell me you threw the bottle away." Elowen says calmly, "Who gave you the right!?"
"Mom please! This isn't you talking it's just the alcohol-"
"It's your fault."
My heart stops at her words. I felt the burning sensation behind my eyelids from the tears threatening to escape. But nothing is able to come out. I've already spilled enough tears today.
"It's your fault he's gone-"
"No mom." I say. My face cold as stone. "I will not have you do this again. We both tried to stop him from walking out of that door," I say as I point a finger to the front door while stepping closer, "but he still chose to walk out. It is neither mine nor your fault that he's gone. He heard of the consequences but chose not to listen. Mom I tried to stop him. So please don't say it's my fault."
Elowen says completely still. She stares at me.
I'm isn't able to make up what expression she wears.
I open my mouth but quickly shut it as I see Elowen make her way over to me.
I watch with wide eyes as my mother steps by me and walks up the stair and into her bedroom.
I cover my mouth as a single tear rolls down my cheek. I harshly wipe it away and walk to the kitchen in search for any more alcohol.
I open the cabinet just below the sink and find a single bottle of both, whiskey, and vodka.
I snatch both bottles from the cabinet and drain them both down the sink. Once both bottles are empty, I throw them into the trash bin.
I set my palms down on the kitchen counter and let my head hang low between my shoulders.
My mother would have episodes like this when she drank. She would blame my father's disappearance on me. I never understood why she did it but I figured it was because he wasn't here, so her mother couldn't properly blame him. I always tried not to let her mother's words cut to deep, but they were always replaying in the back of my head. I loved telling myself it was just the alcohol talking. But isn't drunken words, sober thoughts? As much as I loved telling myself it was just the alcohol, i'll always feel as if my mother truly blames me for it.
I shut my eyes and pursues my lips as I lift my head from my sagged shoulders. I smile inwardly at myself, reassuring myself that it'll be better in the morning.
I push myself off the kitchen counter and walks myself back to my bedroom.
As I shut my door again, my phone vibrates in my back pocket. I grab it and smile as I see a text from Dominic,
Where did you run off to?
I wince. I completely forgot to tell Dominic I left early after he helped me with my panic attack.
I completely forgot to tell you that I left early.
Ouch, well you missed it LuLu. They showed us how the cabins will look for the trip.
Ah damn it, are they nice?
Sure as hell are. And remember how I said they're near the woods? Yeah well I just found out people actually go INTO them.
My eyes widen the size of golf balls at his text,
WHAT? How did they even find out they could go in?
Apparently a hunter didn't know the stories of the forest and went into them for a hunt. He came back hours later completing fine.
My mouth is left hanging open as I mutter a small 'wow' under my breath. I've never heard of a story like that. It's never happened before. But why is it only in that area?
I respond back to his text saying I can't wait for the trip that's next week. The trip is being held Monday and it's already Friday. All the students are supposed to show up at school at 7:00 in the morning, so the teachers are able to count each student before heading on the bus.
I heard the ride would take about two or three hours to get there.
I walk over to my sheets and peel them off my mattress to crawl inside. I'm quick to doze off but before i'm fully able to, I hear a faint knock on my door. I twist my body and waits for another knock,
"Honey?" Elowen says softly and soberly on the other side of the door.
I peel off the blankets off he and make my way over to the door.
I open it and find my mother looking at me with guilt. I smile softly at her, and she responds with a hug.
"Mom it's okay, I know you didn't mean it." I say into her hair sincerely, hoping it'll help her cries.
"That doesn't make what I said okay. I'm so, so sorry Allaura. I know I said I stopped, I'm so sorry." She sobs as her arms tighten around me.
We both stay there a moment, just holding each-other. I feels so safe in her arms. I feel so loved in this moment and I wish it wouldn't go away. All my worries have seemed to slip away. I feels Elowen's hands move to my shoulders and she pushes me back so we are now facing each-other.
"It is not your fault. I am so sorry I have said those awful things to you honey, i'm so sorry-"
"Mom, It's okay I know you didn't mean it." I say as I rub my hands down her arms in a soothing manner.
"I love you so much Allaura. So so much."
"I love you too, mom."
She kisses my forehead goodnight and retreats back into her bedroom.
I smile in the direction Elowen's room as I make my way back to my bed.
I sigh in relief, feeling happy i'll be able to sleep comfortably tonight knowing my mom is comfortable. Knowing that she truly loves me.
My thoughts slowly come to a stop as my eyes fall close and i'm swept into a dreamless night.
-
Okay so in the next chapter it's going to be a one person pov, as in her saying "i, me, i'm" etc.
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