The presentation was in 10 minutes and the only thing Toni could think about was how badly she didn't want to vomit in front of the whole class. The more she thought about it the more sick she felt and the more it felt like a possibility.
There was so much riding on this for her. She was desperate to get back on the court and honestly, she wanted to be able to say that Carol wasn't able to hold her back this time. That she was strong enough to push through this and live her life despite Carol.
She tried halfheartedly to listen to the pair that were currently presenting but her mind kept circling back to the fact that her and Shelby were next and she felt increasingly like she was not going to make it through the presentation.
Maybe she could back out now and say that she was too sick to present. But giving Carol another chance to ruin this did not seem wise, especially as she failed this time so next time she would try even harder.
Shelby was sitting right next to her, looking just as anxious as Toni felt. Toni stared at her until Shelby obviously felt her gaze and turned around. Their eyes met. When she saw Toni her eyebrows scrunched together and she started searching for something.
She pulled out a piece of paper and started scribbling. Toni waited anxiously to see what she was writing.
Shelby pushed the note over to Toni. It read, 'Are you okay? You look very clammy.'
Clammy? That painted a pretty unattractive picture. Toni was borderline offended. It was not at all how she wanted Shelby to see her. Toni scribbled back, 'I'm fine. The nerves are making me feel worse I think.'
She chewed the end of her pencil as Shelby wrote back, 'Take a deep breath. You're going to do great. And if you hurl in front of the whole class I'm sure that Mr Winters will let us do it again.' Shelby stopped writing for a moment, gave Toni an apologetic look and kept writing, 'It would be super embarrassing for you though.'
Toni chuckled quietly. She realised that the distraction made her feel better. Less nervous. She wrote back and Shelby clearly realised that it was helping as she continued writing notes about anything and everything. Toni thought it might have been helping Shelby too.
"Shelby and Toni." Mr Winters brought her attention to the front of the classroom. A wave of anxiety flowed through her but she took a deep breath and stood up, waiting for Shelby to follow suit before walking to the front of the classroom.
Shelby looked really nervous now. Seeing as the girl often did the morning announcements and participated in pageants, it shocked Toni that she was so anxious about presenting for a small classroom. Shelby's whole body was shaking and she was just all around jittery. Toni tried to make eye contact with her but Shelby was actively avoiding her gaze.
The class was chatting loudly as Shelby connected her computer to the projector screen. She was struggling to fit the HDMI cable into the computer with her trembling hands. Toni leant over and took the cable from her hands. She was close enough to whisper to Shelby without looking it suspicious now.
"What's going on with you?" She said under her breath, setting up the presentation as she spoke.
"Nothing." She paused and took a trembly breath. "I don't want to screw this up for you."
Toni was touched. She didn't know that Shelby cared that much. That she cared beyond the situation with Carol and the thing between them, that she cared about her dreams as well. Toni laughed quietly. "Leave that to me Goodkind. Just do your thing."
After that the presentation was ready and Toni pulled away from Shelby and took position at the front of the class. Shelby stood next to her, calm, collected and focused.
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Toni ran off the second their presentation was over. She darted through the halls, finally bursting through the bathroom door and hovering over the closest toilet. She stood there for a while but wasn't sick, thankfully.
"Toni?" Shelby's voice echoed through the bathroom.
Toni quickly wiped the tears that had sprung to her eyes as a result of the nausea. She straightened up before Shelby could see her there. "Yeah?" She said, walking out of the stall. Her heart jumped in her chest at the sight of Shelby, standing there with kind, sympathetic eyes.
"Are you okay?" She asked, walking up to Toni and lightly touching her arm.
Toni didn't move away from her touch. "I'm alright actually. Do you think we did well? Honestly I fully blacked it out."
Every time Shelby touched her, looked at or or just simply existed in the same space as her, it became harder and harder for Toni to deny her feelings.
"We did really well. You did well. I think we got you that A."
Toni reluctantly moved towards the sinks away from Shelby. The loss of proximity immediately made her feel colder than before. "Thank God," she exhaled. Toni turned on the tap and splashed some cold water on her face. Shelby waited as she collected herself and steadied her breathing, chatting mindlessly about some TV show she started watching the other day. Toni just listened and by the end she was almost convinced to give this TV show a go too. Or maybe it was just because Shelby recommended it.
"Ready?" Shelby said, quickly glancing away as Toni wiped the water off of her face using her t-shirt.
Toni shot Shelby a questioning look. "For what?"
"Lunch."
Toni paled at that. "No, sorry but no way. Food is just not on the agenda today."
"You don't have to eat if you can't. I wouldn't mind seeing you get some food and water in you though. Just come and hang out with me and your friends."
"'Me and your friends?' Does that mean you are not my friend or that my friends are not your friends?"
"I'm not even going to humour that right now because I feel like there is no right answer and it will leave me flustered which I know you get a kick out of."
"Aww." Toni flashed her a smile that quickly morphed into a frown. "Oh. You're getting it."
Shelby leant against the bathroom sinks and smiled proudly. "You'll just have to find a different way to wind me up."
Toni was speechless. And a bit turned on.
She didn't even have to chance to formulate an response before Shelby eyes went as wide as saucers and she started backtracking. "No no, wait- Toni. That is not what I meant." Her hands flailed around a bit. "You're just dirty minded," she concluded, pointing an accusatory finger at the brunette.
Toni opened her mouth to reply but Shelby interrupted once again. "I don't mean dirty minded like- Well, you- I meant like-"
This time Toni interrupted.
She stepped forward and closed the gap between them. Shelby sucked in a breath and fell silent, her eyes flicking down and back up again. It felt like time stopped, along with her heart. But she could hear it beating, and in that moment she swore she could hear Shelby's as well, in sync with her own.
Time suddenly sped back up, and her thoughts sped up with it. As tempted as Toni was to just let go of all of the issues and drama between them and kiss her. She remembered Shelby and Shelby's life. How this couldn't work as long as Shelby was struggling with that part of herself and what that meant for her faith. Also if they were to get caught there would be no going back for Shelby.
Instead she dropped her head to Shelby's shoulder. "Friends is hard." She murmured.
"Then let's not be."
Toni pulled back and met Shelby's eyes. "How?"
"Like this." Shelby placed both hands on Toni's neck and leant in, their lips meeting gently, a stark difference from the first time they had kissed.
This time Toni didn't run away. Nor did she want to. She placed her hands on Shelby's waist and pulled her closer. Shelby's lips were soft and tasted like... well, just Shelby; not beer this time. Toni could tell that Shelby was letting her set the pace, She deepened the kiss. Shelby let her.
All Toni could feel was Shelby. Last night, the poisoning, Carol, and Shelby's family was all forgotten. For the first time since she could remember, Toni's mind was empty of everything but Shelby.
Toni felt a slight vibration leave Shelby's mouth. Did she just moan? Without any input from her brain Toni responded with a moan of her own and sunk further into the kiss. They were getting to a point where Toni was feeling her body take over completely. She didn't care at all that they were still in the bathroom where anyone could walk in and see them. Shelby moved a hand to Toni's face and suddenly she was brought back to her senses. She summoned all the will power she had and pulled away from the other girl. She dropped her forehead against Shelby's.
The breathed together for a moment. Shelby was the one to break the silence. "Was that okay?"
Toni thought about making a joke or messing with her but this time she wanted to be vulnerable with Shelby. "It was perfect." At that moment it didn't even feel cheesy. It was just honest.
"Why did you stop?"
Toni smiled and laughed quietly. Shelby had come so far from the girl that didn't even want to be seen with someone like Toni. "To see if I could."
"And you could." Shelby almost sounded disappointed.
"With great difficulty, believe me." Toni kissed her again, barely grazing her lips before pulling back and creating some space between them. "Maybe we should circle back to this somewhere other than the school bathroom?"
"Definitely-" Shelby cleared her throat and started again, her voice slightly deeper and less eager. "Yeah, I mean, if you want."
Toni stared at her for a moment before bursting out laughing. "Was that you-" She was interrupted by her own laughter. She pulled herself together. "Was that you trying to play it cool?"
"Yeah," Shelby laughed, "It didn't work did it?"
Toni pulled her in for a hug, "Not at all. You don't have to play it cool with me. In fact, your overeagerness is one of the things I lo- like about you." What the fuck Toni? She thought to herself angrily. Luckily Shelby didn't appear to notice Toni's near confession.
It wouldn't have been a confession anyway. She liked Shelby. There were qualities of hers that she loved but that didn't mean she loved Shelby. Right? Maybe not yet, at least.
Toni decided to store the thought away for the time being. No need to scare Shelby away with declarations of love 2 minutes after their first real kiss. It wasn't love anyway.
"This is going to work Toni. I'm sure of it. I'm tired of hiding," Shelby said, her voice thick with emotion and determination.
Toni nodded and tightened the hug before stepping away. She nodded again, words getting stuck in her throat. Shelby smiled in a way that said that she knew what Toni was trying to say.
I'm proud of you. I'm falling for you. The words were left unspoken but still somehow heard.
"Shall we go to lunch before someone catches us?" Toni asked, trying to ignore that their secret romance was just that, a secret. If it had to be a secret for a while then so be it. What they had was worth the effort.
There was no way that hiding their feelings from other people was going to be nearly as hard as hiding them from each other.