Bleiz
I don't relax until I lock my front door. I sigh, taking a deep, shuddering breath, staring at my strong hands. I hate that. It isn't fair. I wanted to be a woman tonight. I twist my fingers, manipulating my magic, until I'm back in my female body. Mascara and eyeliner sting my eyes as they run down my face. I take a deep breath. I can be anything I want here.
I'm home.
I flick on the lights and the music.
It's fine. it can be a fine evening.
You're a freak anyway.
I uncork a bottle of wine to drink from it. A ten year old vintage, a cabernet. Only the best for ME. I can enjoy myself.
I spin around, looking down at my skirt. Forget them. forever touching girls. Forget the boy you danced with. He wouldn't like you anyway.
He might.
I push the thoughts from my mind. He wouldn't though. He wouldn't like me anyway. He wouldn't like me once he knows I'm a freak. Well that's fine. I'm happy being a freak. I am.
I take a long drink from the bottle, before spinning out of the kitchen to lie on the sofa. I like my house. I like my life. At some point I'll actually go home. But for now, I'm hungry. I'll make a sandwich. Drink this entire bottle of wine. And not go home. I'm never going back to school. Why should I? That's rhetorical. I don't want my mother's reasons.
I think I'll steal something from the Louvre this summer. That would be entertaining. It's not like they can ever catch me. I shouldn't exist.
Because if there's a man on the security videos, then it can't possibly be this girl standing in front of them. or visa versa. It definitely can't be the big black wolf that someone says they saw. No. Definitely not.
There are benefits to being a freak. And I reap them all gladly. I wouldn't have myself another way. It would be nice if someone would have me though. I think I'd like that.
I carry my bottle of wine to the kitchen. Time for a snack. I get out white cheddar cheese and thick cut bread. Nobody around to tell me I can't eat grilled cheese sandwiches and gummy bears at three am. Nobody at all.
I open the pantry. No gummy bears? How can I be out? No matter, I'll go shop lift some in the morning. Maybe I'll even pay for them. It's not like I don't have money. It all depends on my mood when I wake up from my hangover. If I'm lucky, I can keep myself drunk enough all night to just still be drunk when the stores open. And I'll come down off my mountain, wreak some havoc in the local town. It'll be a bit of fun.
I mouth the words to 'Can't help the way I feel' while I pirouette, waiting for my sandwich to be done. It's all fine tonight. I can be pretty tonight. Those people don't deserve me anyway. Those people being everybody in the world.
I have everything I want here. Food. Wine. Those cows I stole last week. Oh fuck. I have to go talk to the police about that. They didn't think I did it but I did get somewhat caught so I had to pretend to be a witness to the crime. Interestingly enough, I've managed to keep the cows. However. I do have to go pretend to be a good citizen. I giggle. That's always fun. Pretending to be a good public citizen. Acting normal is my forte. Well. Next to robbery.