I hit send before the regret washed over me, as it eventually would, I was sure.
......
By the end of the day I wasn't feeling much. I was riding at the perfect levels of blankness. A day in the trenches had done wonders for me, and a night at the gym would drain me of any residual feelings that threatened to resurface.
The next day I did the same, burying myself in business, making sure every t was crossed and every i was dotted, that points were won, and clients weren't just making more money, they were being protected in their business deals. My job was a hell of a lot more than wringing more dollars from networks, studios, and producers. It was checking out the fine print, making sure clients were looked out for when it came to two, three, four years down the road in a deal.
My days followed that pattern for the next week, and the regular routine of work, gym, business drinks or dinner, sleep, then rinse, lather, repeat the next day turned Camila into a hazy blur in the rear-view mirror. Soon, she'd migrated to the back of my mind, and the fact that she'd been relocated there pleased me immensely. A few more days of supreme focus and she would be a distant blip on the horizon.
At seven thirty on the dot on a Wednesday night, I left my office and headed for East Hollywood, threading my way through the crowds of tourists in their I love LA sweatshirts and Property of LAFD nylon jackets, with pretzels and hot dogs in hand, as they snapped photos of the neon signs and famous intersection. I walked past the Cameo Theatre tapping once on the poster for Crash the Moon, feeling a surge of pride for that show's quick success. My friend Alexa had directed it, and it had become a smash hit in the first month alone, playing to packed houses every single night.
I crossed the street, dodging a cab stalled in traffic, as I made my way to the bright lights of the VISTA Theatre where Veronica was playing a lead character in The Usual Suspects. Lucy waited outside the theatre lobby, smiling when she spotted me, and I took some comfort in the reliability of a friend like her. She'd been there through the years, always available for a drink, always willing to chat, or to see a movie or show. She was a good one, steady, dependable, and patently honest. A warm feeling rushed over me with the reminder that there were people you could trust implicitly. She would never dance around the truth.
"Hey you" she said, waving her fingers, and then giving me a quick kiss on each cheek.
"Are we French now?"
"Of course" she said playfully, "We'll grab baguettes and sip espresso after the curtain call"
"That'd be nice" I said, as we walked into the theatre and I handed two tickets to the usher, who led us down the aisle to some of the best seats in the house.
Lucy raised an eyebrow, "Impressive"
"Like this is a surprise? We always get the best seats. Your sister is a Tony-winning director" I said, gesturing for Lucy to take her seat.
"I know. And I don't ever take that for granted. And you" she said, wrapping her hand around my arm, and leaning in close, "are the woman behind the scenes who makes this stuff happen"
I waved off the compliment. I wasn't in the business for compliments, "Tell me about your day" I said, and listened as she shared the details that she could, not breaking any client confidentiality but talking in general terms about her work listening to the woes of others as one of California's finest shrinks. Her voice was calming and soothing, so I barely noticed that she'd kept her hand on my forearm the whole time.
When the curtain rose at the start of the play, she stayed like that, palm wrapped around me. A few minutes into the first act, I almost asked her to move her hand, but then it wasn't really bothering me, and we were old friends. Even if we'd kissed once back in college, it didn't matter that she was touching me, shifting closer. Her shoulder was brushing mine by the time the cast took their bows. She smelled nice, I thought. Some flowery scent to her hair, maybe jasmine? I'd never noticed it before.
"Did you like the play?" I asked as the theatre rang with cheers for the actors.
"Loved it"
"I need to go see Vero" I gestured to the backstage entrance, "You gonna come along?"
"Of course"
Once backstage, Veronica greeted me with a clap on the back and a hearty hug.
"Nice work. You were the best" I said.
Veronica beamed and pointed her index finger at me, "Flattery will get you everywhere" Then she turned to Lucy. "And who is the lovely lady on your arm tonight?"
Lucy laughed nervously, "Oh, we're not together. Just friends" she said, extending a hand to shake.
Veronica's brown eyes twinkled, "All the better for me" she said, then ran a hand through her mass of dark hair, "Why don't you come along to the Silver Lake Pool & Inn for a nightcap? It's right by the restaurant I'll be opening soon"
I wanted to roll my eyes. Could Veronica be any more obvious? But Lucy seemed to be enjoying it because she answered quickly. "I would love to"
"I would love to take you"
Veronica was recognised a few times on the street, and again at the bar where she was amiable, and signed a cocktail napkin for a young woman who said she was a theatre student at UCLA and had always loved her work.
"That's so nice that she adores you so much" Lucy said to Veronica when the woman walked away.
"And I adore signing cocktail napkins" Veronica said, with her trademark grin that made women swoon, "Signed a few in the Bahamas last weekend"
"How was your vacation there?" I asked, "Good times?"
"Amazing. Gorgeous blue skies, perfect weather. . . did some fishing. Oh, and listen to this. Some guy tried to get me to buy real estate there. A damn condo, of all things" Veronica said, tossing her hands up in exasperation, "Do they think I was born yesterday? I know how those things work. It was probably for one of those deals where only one unit is done so they show you that. And then just pictures of the rest"
"And you want me to advise you on whether this is a good deal or not?" I asked in a dry tone.
"Oh yeah. Exactly. Please tell me, because my poor little actor brain can't figure it out" she said, and we laughed.
"Actually" Lucy chimed in, crossing her legs, and sitting up straighter in the bar stool as she kept her eyes locked on Veronica, "I've heard that a lot of those scams try to prey on celebrities. Because so many celebrities can often make quick decisions with money"
"I can make quick decisions on other things" Veronica said, waggling her eyebrows at Lucy.
"Like what, Veronica?" she asked in a soft, sexy voice I had rarely heard her use.
Damn, the flirting between these two was stirring up again. "And that's my cue to go" I said, slapping some money down on the bar. I patted Veronica on the shoulder, "Poker tomorrow night?"
"Of course"
"See you then"
I started to leave, but Lucy followed me to the doorway, "You're always just taking off" she said brusquely, crossing her arms.
"Didn't seem I was necessary around here. You two are hitting it off" I said with a shrug.
"Are you trying to pawn me off on her?"
"Pawn you off?" I asked as if she'd been speaking a foreign language, "You guys are getting along. I'm making myself scarce so you can keep getting along"
She heaved a sigh, "How was your trip to Miami last week?"
I could have done without the reminder. It took every ounce of will I had to strip my Florida girl from my brain, "It was fine"
"Did you ever hear from that woman you were crazy about?"
And my perfect hold on not thinking about Camila slipped through my fingers. One mention, one reminder of how I felt for her, and she came roaring back to the front of my mind. It was like a truck had slammed into my body, the weight and pressure of the memory of the woman I craved. "Lucy, if you don't want to hang out with Vero, I don't care. I'll tell her I need to take you home. Whatever you need. I'm not trying to pawn you off on her. I thought you were having a nice time with her and I wanted to get out of the way. If I read the signals wrong, I'm sorry"
"You do a lot of that, don't you?" she asked, looking me fiercely in the eyes like we were locked in a battle to not blink first.
I squinted at her, as if that would help me understand what she was saying, "What do you mean?"
"Read the signals wrong, Lauren. You read the signals wrong" she said, parking her hands on her hips.
"What signals am I reading wrong?"
"You really don't get it, do you?"
I shook my head in frustration, "Evidently, I don't. And on that note, it was a pleasure spending the evening with you"
Once I returned home, I tossed my suit jacket on the couch, unbuttoned my blouse, and threw it in the laundry. I washed my face, brushed my teeth, shed the rest of my clothes, and then flopped down on my bed, surrounded by the sounds of silence.
I considered taking up meditation for a nanosecond. Then practicing a mantra. Hell, maybe I could even give yoga a shot. But in the end, none of those things suited me, so I did what my instincts told me to do. Reach out to Camila.
~~~~~~~~~~~
im so sorry but this chapter is long so i didnt proof read, tell me if there are any mistakes :))