I'm a writer while she's my silent reader.
Falling in love is not my thing.
Loving someone is not on my list.
Having a relationship? What is it anyway?
Having a crush, liking someone, loving someone and falling too hard?
I have no time for b-llsh-ts.
All I wanted is to write
All I wanted is to express my feelings
Because those feelings inside me, is slowly killing me.
Anxiety, sadness and fear.
I was just writing to express those feelings, I never imagined writing for someone.
Not until I noticed her,
First react
That's not a big deal, right? Maybe she's the first person who saw my updates that's why,
But no..
She is always the first to react on my story updates
At first, I did not noticed it
Because I was too busy thinking on how should I end my grieving.
I focused on writing and writing and writing
Until I noticed her,
I sometimes posted about how I am feeling just to let those sadness inside me, out, and delete it after a minute or an hour.
And here she is,
Flooding me a messages.
She once send me about what Morrie says to his Student Mitch in the book which was entitled 'Tuesdays with Morrie by Mitch Albom'
And that hit me hard.
I noticed myself, healing
I noticed myself smiling every time I saw her reacted on my posts
I noticed myself writing not because I wanted to let it out but because I wanted to write, for her
I noticed myself, waiting for her another flood messages
I noticed myself, falling for her
I stay low key,
But this time,
I wrote for her
I wrote a love story for her
I wrote everything I can write for her
One day she asked me. "Why did you change your genre?"
That day, I confessed.
It's hard, that I call every saints that I know, wishing she would say she felt the same way.
But again,
I felt broken.
She doesn't feel the same way
She's just my silent reader
But never gonna be mine, forever.
Because she likes someone else
She likes, another writer