Camp just ended and now I feel sad feels™ so here, have some chaos.
Yong: *walks up to Nuru*
Nuru: Uhh, hi?
Yong: You're my mom now.
Hugo: Shit, fuck.
Eugene: Hey, language!
Hugo, to Varian: Who is this?
Eugene: Excuse me? When an adult comes in and tells you not to curse, you don't ask Varian "who is this?"
Hugo:...
Eugene, to Varian: Who is this?
Hugo: You can't say anything around theatre kids. You say one word and they have two THOUSAND songs!
Yong: Really?
Hugo: Watch.
Hugo: Wait-
Varian, bursting in: FOR ME! I'M COMING! WAIT I'M COMING WITH YOU! WAIT FOR ME, I'M COMING TOO, I'M COMING~
Varian: I have a problem.
Yong: Set it on fire!
Nuru: Yong, we can't set all our problems on fire-
Varian: The problem is Hugo.
Nuru: -but this is one of the times we can.
Quirin: Should I be concerned that almost everyone in my sons friend group is gay?
Donella: Honestly I feel like your top priority should be figuring out how your son got a friend group to begin with.
Yong, jaywalking: This is the most illegal thing I've ever done.
Hugo: *aggressively singing along to Olivia Rodrigo*
Varian: *filming for blackmail material*
Nuru: I never went through puberty, puberty went through me.
Nuru: Like, one day I woke up and looked in the mirror and just went "this is what we're doing now? Cool, coolcoolcool."
Donella: I like how everyone is so entirely incompetent. Just like real life.
Yong: I sense a bromance.
Nuru: What?
Yong: Hugo and Varian. I mean, look at them.
Hugo and Varian: *standing right in front of each other, not breaking eye contact*
Nuru: Oh, that! They're fighting.
Yong: They are?!
Yong: GUYS! I'm thirteen now! Do you know what this means?!
Hugo: You get to suffer like the rest of us?
Yong: No, it means I can say anyone younger than me is "like, twelve."
Hugo, standing in a dark hallway with a hooded cape, shining a light on his face: Hello. We've been trying to reach you about your car's extended warranty-
Ulla: I swear it's nothing personal, I'm just going insane.
Just everyone in general: *incoherent screaming and trying to grab things away from people*
Nuru: Are you on-
Varian: Drugs? Yes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHHAAA!
Nuru:...
Varian: That's not entirely a lie though, I need medication for allergies.
Varian: I appreciate the exclusively bisexual lighting.
Donella: I can't do this anymore. If there is a god, kill me now. Or kill Hugo and Cyrus and I'll live in peace.
Nuru: Do you guys talk about me as your rich, lesbian friend?
Hugo: Don't be ridiculous.
Hugo: I talk about you as my rich, lesbian enemy
Varian: Um, over the weekend I cried in a corner-
Varian, Nuru, Hugo: I'm getting ripped tonight, RIP that
Varian, Nuru, Hugo: *collective silence*
Varian, Nuru, Hugo: AYYY!
*a light explodes*
Everyone: !!!!
Yong: This time it wasn't me!
Varian: IT'S BEEN YOU OTHER TIMES?!
Hugo: Power move, call your enemies "babe."
Varian: Oh, so we're enemies now?
Hugo: Wait no, not what I meant-
Varian: Too late, we're dueling in the KFC parking lot at 7:30 PM.
Hugo: Oh, so when the Phantom of the Opera breaks an expensive chandelier and murder's three people, he's a "tragic emo" and "just needs love," but when I do it I'm "under arrest" and my friends leave me because they "can't keep bailing me out of jail like this." How is that fair?!
Hugo: Why did I read that as "No artificial flavors or homosexuals?"
Nuru: Pfft, whaT?!
Hugo: Shut up, my new glasses prescription is coming soon.
Varian: Damn, even your bad vision is calling you gay. That's unfortunate.
Hugo: Oh ha ha, you're both sooooo funny and original.
Nuru: I know, right? We're freaking amazing.
Varian: We are, aren't we?
Cyrus: I don't get paid enough for this shitty babysitting job.
Donella: What, Hugo?
Cyrus:...No, my niece...
Cyrus: Am I Hugo's babysitter? Who the hell decided that?! I should be paid an extra $50 for the amount of shit this kid gets into in less than an hour!
Varian: And remember, if you're even slightly annoying, Cassie will glare at you for a full minute.
Everyone: *instant silence*
Ulla: *wearing a dress* Whadda ya think?
Donella: You look like a Trader Joes Cottagecore Lesbian.
Ulla: That's the highest compliment I have ever gotten.
Ulla: You look like a Kill-On-Sight Lesbian.
Donella: You're not wrong about that.
Varigo shippers: They were crying and holding each other and looking into each other's eyes, and I just was like "gay. That's gay. Very gay."
Yeah, I really have nothing better to do...anyway, anyone else here a theatre kid? And if so can we be friends?