Song: The Weeknd - Heartless (slowed + reverb)
𝔚𝔚𝔚
Giana
As a child I was never a morning person even though I tended to wake up early most days.
I was grumpy and snappy so much so that mamá would make me walk back upstairs so that I could wake up on the right side of bed. It was just a tediously annoying way of telling me to fix my attitude, but it worked.
That was up until she got so busy that she wasn't there when I woke up, which reversed the effects of her discipline, thus making my mornings horrible.
Although this morning wasn't exactly one of those bad mornings, it soon turned into one the moment I fluttered my eyes open and almost had a heart attack once I realized I wasn't in bed alone.
I was so freaked out last night that Ethan offered to lay with me until I fell asleep, and I guess somewhere along the way he also fell asleep-in his uncomfortable suit.
We didn't do anything other than fall asleep, and I was in an unflattering pair of grey joggers and matching sweatshirt but I still found myself feeling extremely awkward about it.
Ethan was extremely sweet and respectful but sleeping next to him just wasn't it.
It was wrong of me and something I shouldn't have been doing but I found myself comparing it to Alessio.
And no one compared to him.
It was dangerous territory to venture into but I couldn't help my mind that automatically compared the bland feeling of waking up in bed with Ethan, to the way my stomach and heart would flutter when I would wake up next to him.
He made me feel safe, protected and cared for.
But most of all his touch was what affected me so much. It wasn't in a sexual way, it was the intimate sentiment.
The way he would show his affection through innocent absentminded touches like the tickle of his fingers lightly tracing my skin as he would draw circles. The feeling of his rough hand on my cheek. The tenderness of his fingers massaging my scalp.
I couldn't explain it, but those touches meant so much that I found my body craving them.
They said what words couldn't, that he cared for me and he might not have been ready to say it out loud but he sure as hell wasn't afraid to show it.
His words and actions hurt me but his touch made me feel beyond anything I was used to. It was so affectionate and loving that it carried into the times we were sexual. Alessio didn't realize it, but he was already doing what he claimed he couldn't.
He was mixing sex and intimacy.
Too bad he wasn't aware of it nor would he come to terms with the truth unless he came to the conclusion on his own and by then it would already be too late.
I forced my mind away from Alessio and instead did the right thing by offering Ethan breakfast, seeing as it was still early.
He had agreed, but that agreement turned into hesitation the moment we walked into the foyer bypassing all the men who looked like they were heading out, but not before making their sudden distaste for him evident.
They were all silent but I didn't miss the glares and subtle nudges, showing Ethan just how unwelcome he was here.
They all seemed to be on the same page- a page I suspected was handed out by Alessio. One that had a step by step telling them to treat Ethan like an imposter. It got so bad that Ethan ended up leaving before we could even make it to the dining room for breakfast.
And when I asked them what was up, none of them gave me a clear answer. Instead they just filed out of the house.
Luckily I had caught Divy at just the right time and with a little pestering she was able to give me all the information she had. Which wasn't enough but it was still something.
Apparently she heard from one of the maids, that overheard Liam telling the other men how they were all excused for breakfast under Alessio's order.
And to make matters even weirder, I walked into breakfast to see that the table was only set with two plate settings.
Alessio's and mine.
And then my eyes naturally trailed to the figure looming over the plate adjacent to mine, to see Alessio's broad form occupying the chair at the head of the table.
The sight of him sitting in his chair as he focused his attention on piling food onto his plate had my guard instantly going up.
Not only was he extremely silent but I couldn't get a read on the man. All I could do was take my seat and bask in the uncomfortably awkward silence as I piled food onto my own plate.
But I could feel it. Something was off and his current demeanour was warning me to proceed with caution.
Not to mention he was simply sitting there without even acknowledging me, why would he excuse all the other men if he was just going to end up ignoring me?
"You have spring break coming up, yes?" The sudden sound of his powerful voice snaps me out of my thoughts. His voice is deep and scruffy like he hasn't talked in a while and when I look over to see his attention on his plate, I observe his face from my angle noting the day old stubble on his chiseled jaw and his slightly messy hair.
I would have voiced my concern had I not been trying to distance myself from him, so instead I clear my throat and go back to my food. "Yes." I confirm.
Spring break was coming up. Granted it was the end of May but my school did things a little differently and pushed it back to a few weeks before our final exams.
I already had an inkling where this conversation was going and so to keep it short and concise I decided to get right to the chase."I already figured I wouldn't be going on the school trip."
When all he does is simply hum in response, I start scarfing down my food, needing to get out of this awkward situation. "That's besides the point, I wanted to let you know that I will be away on business for that week." He replies swiftly.
It's my turn to hum but I offer no real response as I continue shoving eggs into my mouth. It's only when he speaks next that I pause.
"And you will be accompanying me."
I snap my head up, swallowing the mouthful of eggs. He still doesn't look my way but that doesn't stop me from furrowing my brows in distaste once I think about what that would actually entail. Having to be around a hot tempered workaholic.
"No thanks." I say.
Alessio pauses and for the first time all morning he lifts his head up to look at me. His indifferent gaze meets mine before he sends me a hard look. "I wasn't asking." He states, his tone firm and absolute.
His mind is set and there's no changing it.
Instead of arguing with him about it, I purse my lips and look to my breakfast. I wasn't going to give him the reaction he wanted and something about the way he was watching me told me he wanted me to fight him on it. He wanted to get a reaction out of me.
I didn't know why, but I knew it would result in nothing good. I wasn't going to show him that he had an affect on me. "Where to?" I hum, in that same tone of indifference I had been using with him.
"Miami." His voice is hard and I can feel his eyes on me.
I have no idea where he's going with this or even thinking, but I know I don't like it because it's making me feel like I have less control here.
"You have business for an entire week?" I get out, trying to distract myself from the intimidation radiating from the man sitting adjacent to me.
"Business, amongst other things." He replies ominously, his tone making my eyes trail up to him.
He's starring straight at me expectantly, his breakfast disregarded and his demeanour that of a powerful businessman. One that's in charge and daring me to push further, show I care.
But I don't.
"For your own well being I suggest you book me an entirely different trip if you plan on bringing you're little bitch along." I say swiftly, referring to Greta. "Because I'd rather run away then be around the two of you." I state, not allowing any emotion to slip onto my face.
He stares back at me, his gaze unwaveringly hard yet I don't miss the subtle ticking of his jaw. "When will this back and forth with Greta, stop?" Unlike me, the annoyance in his voice slips through his indifferent facade and I want to smile.
I had the control.
Instead I turn back to my food and show him just how little he's affecting me. "Once she's out of my life for good. Or once you grow a backbone and stop acting like a hot headed caveman that lets her get away with anything and everything."
"pop a strawberry in my mouth and chew before pursing my lips. "But with the way things have been going, the latter seems impossible."
I'm met with silence and when I look up, Alessio's face is scrunched up in concentration, like he's thinking long and hard about something. It's only when his eyes lift to meet mine that I see a hint of vulnerability in his hard gaze. "You think I'm too much to handle?"
He's not asking if he's too much to handle, he's asking for confirmation and with the way his face is scrunched up it tells me he's seemed to already be thinking of a solution.
Like he can fix it.
I blink taken aback by his attitude, I can't get a read on him and something tells me that he's already made up his mind about whatever he's thinking about.
But I stop myself from worrying. I couldn't get sucked back into his twisted games.
I clear my throat and decide to change the subject. "And why is my presence required?" I challenge, not understanding why he needs me with him.
His cool facade once again snaps into one of irritation as he slightly raises his voice. "Is it so hard to believe that I just want to spend time with you?!" He snaps.
I suppress the urge to blink and show him that his answer took me aback. I look back to my plate of food and purse my lips. "Yes, it is hard to believe. And a little too late." I murmur my voice growing soft but not enough to show him how that I even care.
I hear the scraping of his chair and look up to see his chair pushes out enough for him to spread his legs wide open and still have enough room between himself and the table. His chair-unlike mine-has arm rests and is overall larger seeing as it's made for the head of the table.
His blazer is draped across the back of his chair leaving him in his white dress shirt and when he leans back and starts folding up his sleeves, I do nothing but watch him.
Even though his position is relaxed and he's leaned back with his legs spread, he still radiates power and control.
And when he plants an elbow on one of the arms of the chair and uses his hand to rub at his bottom lip, his gaze stays glued to mine and I resist the urge to squirm under his stare.
There's a dark glint in his eyes, one that's unpredictable and wild. "It's not too late." He murmurs.
"Yes. It. Is." I force out, my throat suddenly feeling extremely dry. I wasn't going to let his dominating demeanour turn me into a submissive little mess.
His eyes watch me and I hate myself for letting the annoyance peek out in my voice and my eyes narrow slightly, in annoyance. And I instantly regret the way I react because I'm giving him what he wants.
A reaction.
Of course he doesn't miss the slip up and it's like my reaction gives him the assurance he needs to continue to prove his point.
"You can tell yourself that you're done with me all you want but it won't change anything unless you actually believe it." He challenges, his tone so sure of himself that I force my hands in my lap to stop them from fidgeting.
His eyes follow the action and a surge of satisfaction passes through his eyes.
"You're good at masking it." He says before he leans forward and in one rapid motion his hand grips the bottom edge of my seat and drags my chair closer to his. "But I'm better at detecting it."
His hand comes out to grab my wrist and move it from my lap and onto his thigh, as he traces little patters across the skin. His attention now going to fiddle with the diamond bracelet on my wrist. "You and I both know that you really don't believe it when you say you're done with me." He trails.
My jaw clenches and a surge anger rushes through me. "Yes I do!" I snap, my hand on his thigh balling into a fist.
He pauses, his gaze glued to my fist and the edges of his lips tilt, like that's what he wanted all along, a reaction out of me. And judging by the glint in his eyes when they come up to meet mine, I just gave him the one he wanted.
"You may hate me right now but you still crave me, yes?" His tone is soft and he still does a shit job of masking the arrogant undertone.
And then I snap. I send him a nasty glare as I go to hastily yank my hand out of his lap, "No I don't." But his hand comes out to grip my wrist stopping me from moving my hand away.
"Don't lie to me."
And in one swift motion his hold on my wrist tightens before he pulls me out of my chair and into his, positioning me between his spread legs while my back hits his chest.
I don't even have time to fight him before his arm comes out to wrap around my waist and hold me against him. "Let go of me." I grit out, trying to move out of his hold.
The man simply ignores me and instead uses his other hand to start moving my hair to one side over my shoulder.
"You can deny and fight it all you want, Principessa." He murmurs, his lips moving closer to my ear from behind. "Distract yourself with these useless boys, try to replace me." He spits before his tone lowers into a whisper against the shell of my ear, "But you've claimed me just as I have you, whether we like it or not."
I hate my body for reacting and allowing the shivers to float down my spine and I hate myself for trying to push him away harder.
He's proving once again that he's in control and I hate it, he may have most of the control here but I'm not going down without a fight.
"Let me go." I reply my body tense in his hold as I continue to work against him even though I know it's futile.
He's not letting me go anytime soon.
I hear him tsk and the sound nothing but a low breathy murmur against the skin of my neck, as his nose starts to trail the side of my neck."Why are you trying to fight it? Why are you making things so hard for me?" He murmurs his voice calm and relaxed, like he's letting me know just how little my attempts at pushing him away matter.
I fight the urge to sink into his touch and instead will my body to stay tense. I'm fighting back.
I once again work against his hold trying to free myself but his arm locked around me keeps me down into his lap. "Seems like that's something I've been doing a lot recently." I spit, fighting against his hold. "Making men hard, you should have seen Ethan this morning." I seethe desperately trying to find a way to puncture his strong facade.
I need to get a reaction out of him one that gave me an upper hand.
We're both fighting for control and none of us are going to back down anytime soon.
His hold on me tightens so much so that I'm forced to still. I feel his other hand snake around until it moves to wrap around my throat from my front. It's not too tight yet it's strong enough for him to tilt my head up, so I'm left to look up at him as he stares down at me.
His eyes are hard, dangerous showing me that he didn't like what I just told him. And even though he's physically restricting me, his face tells me I've done what I wanted to do.
I've riled him up and gained some of the control back.
He may have gotten me to crack but so did he.
His eyes penetrate mine and the way in which he's looking down at me causes a pinch of doubt to form. It's like he's reading me like an open book and then the pinch turns into a big ball when I see his lips tilt, and it's like something clicks for him.
He chuckles darkly and I know I just confirmed whatever theory was swimming in his eyes. "You can act like there are other men in completion with me, but we both know you would never settle for white picket fences and boring upper class life."
He dips his head moving his face closer to mine, and my jaw clenches in defiance.
Alessio's smile widens as he dips his head further and tilts mine. My neck cranes at an awkward angle but he doesn't seem to care as he brings his lips forward, to ghost a few inches from mine.
It's so close that when he chuckles, his breath fans across my lips, only instead of parting them and welcoming him in, I purse them in refusal.
"You weren't made for brunch at the country club with the other Beverly Hills housewives." His lips inch closer until our lips are only a hairs apart and his eyes stare into mine. "You were made for excitement, power, control." He murmurs softly against my lips, his eyes trailing down to watch my lips.
His tongue peeks out to wet his bottom lip and in doing so it swipes across mine. "You like the fight for control too much, baby." He whispers.
And then he smiles, moving forward to place a sweet peck on my lips, "And you won't find that with anyone else."
"How are you so sure." I spit trying to force my head away from his. But he only tightens his hold on my neck and moves his gaze back up to my eyes.
"Because deep down, you're just like me." Another peck only this time his lips linger against mine.
I crain my neck and try turning my face. " I am nothing like you." I spit, and due to his right hold on my neck I'm only able to move my head slightly, so that his lips land on the corner of my mouth.
He hums, the deep rumble escapes his throat in a way that tells me he doesn't believe me and my anger flares.
I was nothing like him. "I'm not a monster." I snap, trying to get to him.
But nope, he doesn't crack or show an ounce that my words are affecting him.
"No you're not." He confirms softly. "You can be sweet, yes. But you're not the perfect girl next door you paint yourself out to be. You're too flawed." His grip on my neck loses and he tilts his face, placing a peck across my cheek.
"Too damaged." His forehead skims my chin as he moves down to place a kiss on my other cheek.
"Too much of a manipulative mastermind." He lets go of my neck and moves his head back to the side of my neck. I feel his evened breathing hit the skin just below my ear and his lips come out to leave kisses across the skin.
"You hide it by portraying yourself as the person you think others will like. Want." His pecks turn to chaste kisses. His arm loosens around me and both his hands go to rest on my hips as he draws light patters above the fabric my sweatpants. "All because you're scared of rejection. But that's not what you're really scared of is it, Giana baby?" He murmurs.
I swallow thickly as his hands find the skin peeking out between the waistband of my joggers and the end of my sweatshirt. His hands slowly snake under my sweatshirt and rest on the bare skin of my upper hips lightly tracing circles as he places kisses along my neck.
My breathing starts to get erratic but it's only because I don't like what he's saying. He's a liar.
"Why are you saying these things." I breathe angrily, but even I don't miss the emotion and defence in my voice.
He was painting me out to be some pathetic monster.
He gently runs his hands up and down the sides of my waist, and although I hate it, the action is enough to calm my shaking hands.
He buries his head into the crook of my neck from behind and I feel his prickly stubble against my soft skin, as the scent of his aftershave and cologne fill my senses.
He ignores me and continues. "But that's where you and I differ, Amore." His rough calloused hands glide across the skin of my waist soothingly and I fight the urge to sink into him. "I had already accepted my fate a while ago. I never hid who I really was. I never masked my demons because I knew I was destined to be alone." (Love)
"Until I found you." His fingers move to dance across the skin of my stomach, they rub as if he's trying to ease the knots forming beneath from his words, as his mouth moves back to my ear. "Someone that was just as flawed yet beautiful."
He moves to the back of my neck and places a kiss across the skin there. Letting his lips linger against the skin as he speaks. "Someone who was just as devious, only better at hiding it."
I shut my eyes, hoping that if I think of something else I won't have to listen to his words.
They're not true. He's just trying to get me to crack.
"Someone that I was able to let in so easily." I stay tense as his hands continue to rub my skin and his lips move to place kisses on the underside of my jaw next to my ear.
His soft hair tickles the skin of my cheek but I will my mind away from thinking about the feeling of his firm body holding me to him.
"And I realized something, I was never blind to your manipulation. My subconscious just chose to ignore the signs." I turn my head away from him, but his lips move back towards the junction between my neck and collar bone.
"You know why?" He hums his voice deep.
He takes my silence as a sign to continue and my heart hammers in my chest.
"Because deep down I knew you were made for me. And so I let you manipulate me. I let you trick me into thinking it was normal for you to be so attached to me. I let you think you were in control."
He was lying, I was always in control. "You're delusional." I grit my teeth.
But then my brain goes into overdrive.
Alessio was a moboss. He was trained to read people, detect when he was being manipulative. There was no way that he would let someone like me get away with manipulating him unless deep down he wanted it.
My body slightly slumps in defeat and I want to cry at the overwhelming emotions running through my head.
I was never in control and Alessio was only telling me the sad truth of my entire existence.
What else have I been so blind to?
"I might be delusional. But so were you when you first came to me and look where that led you?" His voice is nothing but a husky murmur.
He leans back in his chair only this time taking me with him so that my head rests on his shoulder and his lips leave kisses across my temple and hair. "Right into my arms." And then his hands wrap aroudn my waist from under my sweatshirt.
"And I'm not letting you go."
I shut my eyes and purse my lips, my body having no fight left in it but my mind ready for a war. "What if I want you to." I get out evenly.
His grip loosens and his hands move out from under my shirt. For a moment my mind sets in relief before I feel his hand come out to tilt my chin up and to the side, so that I'm looking up at his face.
His thumb moves to traces my cheek and he looks down at me with so much affection and need. "I can't do that. You need me just as much as I need you, baby." He murmurs.
His gaze softens into reassurance. "But, I will try to change for you, Principessa. Be the type of man that doesn't act out and do irrational things, the man that doesn't act like this caveman you make me out to be." He says like that's the solution to all our problems.
I blink at him in bewilderment as understanding settles in. That's what he was thinking of this entire time? He thinks if he changes himself then he can have me? My brows furrow. "That's not how this works."
He sighs, and looks down at me his eyes soft as he moves forward to place a kiss on my lips, like he's apologizing.
"But either way you're stuck with me until I figure out how to get ahold of myself and be the man you need." He says, tilting my head and placing another kiss on my forehead. "I just need some time." He murmurs.
I don't know what kind of psychotic break he was going through, but he wasn't making sense. He couldn't do this.
Did he seriously think he could keep me locked in this twisted cycle with him until he figured his shit out and then what? He wanted us to be together?
I wanted to laugh at how ridiculous he sounded. He didn't get to make all the decisions and he sure as hell didn't get to force me into anything.
"You've officially lost it." I breathe in disbelief, moving off of him.
He lets me go as he simply stares up at me like he's still so sure of himself and his sick, twisted ideas.
I turn to look at him. I was the one looking down at him yet even like this, I found myself fighting the urge to shrink back.
His eyes stay glued to mine, "You can run from it all you want but I'll be right behind you every step of the way, Giana. I've made up my mind." He says his voice firm.
My face scrunches up in outrage and I have the urge to scream and yell at him. But instead I decide he wasn't worth my time.
I spin on my heels and storm out of the room all the while I feel his gaze on me and I hated the way he was looking at me because it scared me.
It told me that I wouldn't be getting out of this so easily.
𓆩❤︎𓆪
The touching in this chapter was more sensual than it was sexual. It was to add effect to his words.
This chapter made me laugh bc Alessio's mindset is so stupid and won't last long.
His logic is completely flawed and doesn't make sense. But that's only bc I tried really hard to make it understandable yet really wrong/ridiculous.
Let me draw y'all a diagram real quick to explain:
Most of the time a problem can be solved with drawing a line between A and B.
But some ppl will literally go to A,G,Y,T,S,D and then to B. (a.k.a Alessio)
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Also I am temporarily blocked on both my tiktok accounts so I can't comment but I see them and love ur comments. ❤️