" 𝐰𝐡𝐲 𝐝𝐨𝐞𝐬 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐞? "
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𝐄𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐃𝐚𝐦𝐨𝐧 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 "𝐢𝐭" 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐩𝐥𝐞. It was odd to say, but it was truth. They were the couple everyone wanted to be Estelle had met Damon when they were little kids - tiny tots that knew nothing of the world or what was to come. They grew up and ended up in the same group, the same circle of friends.
He was lifeguard and so was she. They had shifts togethers, so naturally they were together for a long period of time. They surfed together, spent their days together laughed together. It was a wonder how they didn't fall for each other faster. There was a day they both remembered that marked the beginning journey if their relationship.
It was the summer fair back when they were both thirteen. Vicky, Gracie, Lola, Carrie, Richard, Damon, Estelle and a few other friends from different cliques and the lifeguard crew were all out together at the fair. It was the August fair and they all had begged for permission to go by themselves in a group. With a little wavering, they were all able to go in a group. They played games, went through the mirror room, rode some game and ate cotton candy.
It had gotten cold and Kevin - one of Damon's cousins that came to visit - had spilt a drink on Estelle. She forgave him, but she was freezing. Damon took off his sweater, forced her to put it on and hugged her to keep her warm. Damon kept by her side and eventually, he was the one who walked her home. He kissed her cheek and she stumbled backwards hitting the door when he left.
Estelle always smiled at the memory. Young and native love.
It was memory she, then, chose to bury. Nonetheless, she thought about it nightly ever since Damon called. She was in love still. Or was she? There was no answer to herself and the line between reality and denial was blurring to a dangerous level - even more when it seemed like Damon would never go away.
Damon kept coming back. He texted her, tried to talk to her and every time she would agree to speak, it was the same sentence hitting her all over again.
I love you, but I love someone else too.
He always said it and he always reminded her no matter what they were talking about. Estelle questioned his intentions, but the line was blurring to a point where it was nearly nonexistent. He loved her, so she had to stay. She loved him, but he didn't stay. He still had feelings for her, and so did she. She still had feelings for him, but he had feelings for both her and Ava.
It was chaotic. Back and forth, back and forth with no idea where she was going. The night before her first day at Kensington View Academy, Estelle came to a conclusion when Damon left her on read and disappeared. One things she was becoming sure of. A dangerous thought.
Love did not exist. It only belonged in fairy tales.
Did she love Damon? Maybe, maybe not. Her thought on love was closing in on her. That was the answer, she believed. Maybe it doesn't exists. Damon did something similar, if not exactly what my father did to my mother.
However, when she came to that ending, a little thought peeked through.
A replay of the night Louis and her had ended up on top of each other. He held her hand to steady her and said that if he was Romeo then she was Juliet. He touched her hand like they almost did in the theater. She fell and he caught her. Estelle recalled the lights and the sounds. Then there was the cute little nickname he called her - star girl.
Estelle shook her head. It was a coincidence she fell, not love. Love wasn't for her nor did it want her.
Not only did love not want her, it seemed as if happiness and support didn't want her either.
Estelle woke up at the crack of dawn and got ready in half an hour. She had gotten her uniform a few days before and she was not a fan. In Clearwater, it was a small town so everyone didn't need a dress code to know what school you went to. She usually wore shorts and a graphic tee with sneakers to school, as did every person that went to her old school. Kensington View Academy required Estelle to wear a collared white button down, black dress pants, a navy blue and white tie, a dark navy blue blazer and black shoes.
What type of school is my mother sending me to?
She had struggled with the tie and when she went to go ask her mom to help, there was a note on the fridge saying she went to work earlier than usual. She gave up after watching three videos and failing.
When she got on the bus, she was surprised to see that around five other students in the same uniform were there amongst the other passengers.
Two of them happened to be Will and Flora. She sat near them and they instantly greeted her. After explaining her struggle with adapting to the uniform and the tie, Flora laughed and did her tie for her. A few more blocks and Lively, Louis and Wright made it onto the bus. Once near the school, they walked a block to it.
Kensington Academy was almost like a should be Hogwarts. Large and brick-built school with high towers and a large green lawn that still had the marks from the lawn mover. It was unexplainably gorgeous. Students were walking or waiting for class to start and Estelle knew she didn't belong there at all. Yes, she was smart, very much so and she appreciated education, but she was from a small town from Florida where the school didn't have AC and instead of a nice green grass, they had turf.
New school, mother gone AWOL, an ex-boyfriend gone insane and instability in her life? Estelle believed there was no way out of her chaos. Hit after hit and no lucky way out.
Luckily, she didn't have to suffer not knowing anyone. Nearly every class she had was with Lively, Wright, Louis, Flora or Will and in her English class, she had all five with her. She had someone to sit with and someone to talk to, but it wasn't all glamourous.
The whole group of five, while they were still a main group, had other friends they speak with.
Eventually, they were all speaking with other people and it wasn't their fault for accidently ignoring her. Estelle knew that and yet, she felt left out and excluded. No one noticed when Estelle left her spot on the bleachers to go to the bathroom.
Maybe she would have spoken with other people, but her insecurities caused her to close her mouth shut.
Estelle hid in the bathroom stall and as hard as she held everything in, she cried. Estelle was in a bathroom stall, at her new school during lunch, crying. She missed everything. She missed her old high school in Clearwater, she missed her friends that she would fool around with during lunch and in between classes, she missed her mother being home every day at six to help with dinner and watch movies together.
She pulled her legs up to her chest and cradled herself. She wanted to feel the sand under her feet, she desired to go and swim in the huge ocean and she wanted to be back in her old bed. Homesickness wasn't a huge help at the moment.
Louis was the first to notice that Estelle had disappeared. He was too busy with his mates to notice at first. He asked Lively and she shrugged. She said she probably went to the bathroom.
Estelle had finished up crying and put herself together before the end of lunch. The rest of the day, she kept her head down and pushed herself through the rest of the day. The five noticed she had gone extra quiet and tried to ask her what was wrong, but she denied it and put herself on lockdown.
" Estelle, you can tell me if something's upsetting you." Louis told her once they were alone in their last period. " You promise not to push any of us away."
" I'm fine. Leave it be."
Louis left her alone, but it bugged him.
She said she wouldn't do this. She said she wouldn't shut everything out. Gosh, why can't she bloody see that I simply want to help her. Is that so hard for her?
Estelle was quiet all the way on the bus. Louis missed his stop to stay with Estelle. She left the bus with a simple goodbye and ran into her apartment. Damon had messaged her, but she ignored it. Her mother messaged her and said she would be home late and to make something for herself.
She found no comfort in her favorite show, her homemade pasta or from the candy in the box Louis gave her. No comfort whatsoever. What she hadn't realized was a teenage boy, out there, begging and waiting to comfort her.
— ☆*: .｡. ⋄▽⋄ .｡.:*☆—
nova speaks - I know, I know! It's killing you that Estelle's pushing everyone away, but it's how she works. I wanted her to have flaws so she isn't perfect. Estelle moving somewhere new, she's going to feel homesick. And here it is. Estelle is starting to not believe in love anymore - ig that means she going to up on Damon, but she kind of gave up on Louis too. Hope it gets better (what am I saying? I'm literally the writer) and I hope you enjoyed. It's more of a filler chapter too!
with love - nova