A Little Help from a Snake...

By onyxjay

2.9M 108K 69.2K

(Aka the Tomalongadingdong™ fic) It was a normal day for Harry. He woke up, made breakfast for his relatives... More

0: Prologue
1: The Letter*
2: And They Were Soulmates*
3: All Aboard!*
4: Getting Sorted Out
5: Severus Snape
Part 6*
7: Dobby
8: Train Has Left the Station*
9: Ripping and Tearing is Kinky
10: The Legendary Chamber*
11: Lockhart is Still Alive
12: Diary of a Teenage Voldemort
13: Thnks fr th Mmrs*
14: The Nicknames Begin*
15: The "Rescue"*
16: Going Down Like a Lead Balloon
17: A Grim Tale
18: Diagon Alley*
19: Lone Wolf*
20: This Is What You Came For, Isn't It?
21: Mapped Out
22: Monster in the Wardobe
23: Snape Adopts a Teenage Dark Lord
24: Tiny Blond Fucker
25: The Man Who Cried Werewolf*
Part 26*
Part 27
28: Dun Dun Dun!
Part 29*
Part 30*
Part 31
Part 32*
33: Harry the Heinous*
34: A Serious Discussion About Gas
35: Finally Fourteen
36: Something of a Riddle
Part 37
38: Raining on One's Parade
Part 39
Part 40
41: Cliffhanger in Part 40
42: Can I Get a Fuck No!
43: Calmly™
Part 44
45: The Skrewts Started the Fire
Part 46
47: Sixteen Going on Seventeen
Part 48
49: Caught Six-Legged
50: Snape, Snape, Swearverus Snape
Part 51
Part 52
53: Baby, It's Cold Outside*
Part 54
Part 55
56: The Lion, the Witch, the Audacity of This Bitch
Part 57
Part 58
(Somewhat) Updated Reading Checkpoint
59: Caught Pink-Handed!
Part 60
61: Spring Has Arrived
Part 62*
Part 63
64: Back Home
65: Ding Dong! Tomalonga is Back!
Part 66
Part 67
Part 68
69: The Party for the Bonding Ceremony
70: The Actual Bonding Ceremony
71: The Aftermath of the Bonding Ceremony
Part 72
Part 73
Part 74
Part 75
Part 76
Part 77
Epilogue
Thank You! (Again)

Before You Read

67.8K 959 472
By onyxjay

Posted (for reference): June 29, 2021

Hello again to all readers! I have a lot to say, so bear with me.

First off, if you hadn't seen my message, I unpublished this fic for personal reasons, but I will probably put it back out there. I do not know when that will be, though. But at least you know now.

If you are impatient and don't want to wait, you can read the completed fic on ao3. The link can be found below and in my bio — it's officially anonymous for (again) personal reasons, so you wouldn't find it on my profile.

https://www.archiveofourown.org/works/17465114/chapters/41128487

Eighty chapters total. So you better have some snacks and drinks.

Edit: So I've started reposting, and there may be a few chapters out of order. Wattpad glitch of some kind, I'm trying to fix it. Just giving you a heads up.



Now, on to some things to remember (this will look familiar for rereaders): double bullet points apply to all readers.

And by they do apply to all readers, I mean don't ignore them. Please.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. Shocker, I know.

Additional notes and warnings:

• I encourage you to read the tags (unless you want to be surprised, then obviously you can disregard this note).

- edit: Tags currently are not very informative (and are actually a bit confusing if you can't even read them), so unless I change them back, the first bullet point is null.

• major out of character (and I mean really, really, really major)

- I'm aware most people don't care, but I do, so I put it here.

• mentions of abuse (not a lot, though)

• mentions/descriptions of graphic violence (again, not a lot)

• No need to ask for updates because it's finished. And even if it wasn't, I'd still say do not ask.

• Leave a hate comment and I'll mute you. Don't like, don't read. Remember that I'm doing this for free.

MORE IMPORTANT NOTES BELOW

•• (because people apparently don't read my bio) I am not allowing translations for this fic.

•• No smut. Ever. Or even off-page sex (for Harry). Again, ever.

- I'd appreciate it if you don't ask why. It's my personal choice. Please respect it.

•• No mpreg (male pregnancy)

•• If you find a plot hole, feel free to let me know. I don't know if I'll fix it, but I appreciate the heads up in case I do.

•• Try to ignore typos, though, unless they change the sentence drastically. A real example: mixing up "sentiment" and "sentient"

•• And no need to spam comment. (Re: Don't. For the love of fanfiction, don't. Comment threads are okay and welcome, but not when the sole purpose is to reach a certain amount.)

- Edit Feb. 14, 2022: Please stop with the 69 comments. And please don't ask why.

•• I have been, and still am, making minor changes here and there. None of them impact the story as a whole, but — and this is especially true for rereaders and those who want to reread — you are likely to come across something different. You'll know by the notes in the beginning indicating a change.

- There's a small chance (smaller than me) I may post a new chapter if I feel the revisions are major enough — don't worry, the story will still be the same overall. They'll be indicated by an asterisk (*) in the title.

- In addition, there may be new author's notes before/after a chapter. They will be separated by this:

——————————

•• Edit: And just in case you somehow missed it in the three other spots I've said it, I don't accept translations for this fic.

That's it, I believe. I hope you enjoy the fic.



Regarding the nicknames, I have a game for you readers — new and old alike. Take one sip (at least) of water every time you see one of Tom's nicknames. Two (again, at least) for Tomalongadingdong.

Exception when it's Ramadan or any other holiday that involves fasting. That's more important than this game. In that case, do some other form of self-care. Like stretching.

Continue Reading

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