Chapter 15
No one’s fault
I wake up without the slightest pain in my heart. It’s like I have slept on a healing carpet and I can’t remember when I didn’t feel my heart at all. I’m just so surprised that I let my hand drift up to my chest. I open my eyes in horror when I feel another hand on that exact spot.
I slam down on it quickly despite the calming tingles erupting from it and wrestle down the unknown person. I’m crouching over the intruder with my elbow successfully cutting the air supply. The glowing Spirit under me chokes and is unable to move under my grip. The room is dark and he is so gorgeous. His hair is the purest white and his eyes are sparkling and his skin… He’s like a light bulb!
“What the hell!” I burst out annoyed that his visit before I fell asleep wasn’t a dream.
I huff angrily and let him go. His angelic face is covered in a huge purple bruise and my fingers trails over his poor cheek in sorrow. I did this. Warm shivers plants through my body as I touch him and I have to fight against the urge to lean down and kiss his perfect lips. His eyes are staring back at me with a shocked expression. I fight against my traitorous feelings and sink down onto the bed again.
My heart is slowly starting to ache again and I massage my chest at the unwelcomed feeling. At least I got to feel healthy for a few seconds before I ruined it.
“I wanted you to rest peacefully,” he mumbles.
“Don’t you know that Ninjan wolves are dangerous?” I snort back at him. “I could have killed you. It doesn’t matter how much I dislike Wolf Spirits, I still don’t want the death of my mate on my conscious.”
Mate. Oh dear, I did beg for my mate to come to me last night! I was heard and then rude enough to punch him on the face. I start shaking at the thought. I was not taught to use violence without good reason. This Spirit means no harm and I still crossed that line twice!
“Don’t worry about it,” he whispers. “Call me Jupiter, that’s my name.”
I almost jump him again for talking but I stop my anger before I make a third mistake.
“I don’t want a Spirit mate!” I complain and bury my face in the crouch of his neck.
Damn this feels good. I snuggle closer to him and keep rubbing against him for comfort. I can’t feel my heart when I touch him. It is still night so I close my eyes to fall back into sleep. I can be angry tomorrow instead. For now I like holding him. Holding him close doesn’t mean that I like what he is. Not liking what he is doesn’t mean that I reject him. Rejecting your mate is what I consider to be a deadly sin.
“I’m glad,” Jupiter says and brings his arm around me.
“Don’t say you can read my thoughts!” I groan. I like my privacy. It’s no one’s business what I think unless I decide to actually tell them, Wolf Spirit or not. That makes me want to strangle him for listening in.
“I can’t tune it out,” he answers me desperately. “Please don’t beat me up; Kate will be so very sad when she notice it.”
That calms me down a bit. My lovely sister hates violence. She also seems to love the Spirits. She’ll never forgive me! This is a hopeless situation. I might as well die right now instead. This isn’t happening! People just need to mention the Wolf Spirits to wake up my dislike towards them and here I am snuggling one.
Meeting your mate is supposed to be the most wonderful thing. I just didn’t expect to feel this damn affection so strong! I mean, everyone talk about lust and need but it really isn’t anywhere near the warm feelings he wakes up inside of me. It’s like chocolate and ice cream and fluffy pillows. Not to mention that he’s like a drug and clouds over my pain somehow.
But this isn’t some invisible Wolf Spirit who I can blame everything on. This is flesh and blood. I can hear how his heart is beating; it is still trying to calm down after my brilliant attack. His breathing is calming down and a sense of happiness and contentment flows from him into me.
I have never been in love. I have never even kissed a boy before and here I am lying with one in my bed. Oh my dear, Mother is going to kill us! A smile grows on my lips at the thought and I poke Jupiter’s chest with my finger.
“Creep, how long have you been watching me for?” I ask him suspiciously. I’m not sure I want to know. I don’t want to be watched when I think I’m alone! “What do I tell my family? Hey I mated a Wolf Spirit!” I laugh hysterically.
“Actually, they have already met me,” he says slowly. “Kate introduced me to them.”
I jump out of bed and stalk out of the room and barge into my parent’s bedroom. They wake up as I slam their door open and they watch me sleepily as I pace back and forth in front of their bed.
“Are you alright?” Mother wonders not too upset and check what time it is. “It’s a little early for morning training still.”
“How come everyone gets to meet my mate before I do?” I yell into the room. I’m really pissed.
“What mate, Mary?” Father asks me curiously. “I’m sure I would have remembered that!” He scratches his head and then gets out of bed. He’s wearing a blue pyjama and looks around his side of the bed in a try to find his slippers. “I thought I put them here,” he mumbles to himself before a light bulb shows over his head and he walks over to the dresser where the slippers are waiting for him.
“I just got a visit from a Wolf Spirit who claims he is my mate and apparently everyone knows who it is!” I almost pant after my outburst and I take a few deep breaths to calm down.
Yes I might be getting into a panic attack, but these things don’t happen in reality. I never heard of anyone mating a Wolf Spirit before. The pure thought of it is ridiculous!
“Are you in pain?” Mother wonders and motions for my hand that is massaging my chest. “I’ll go make some tea for you.”
“Tea won’t solve my problem!” I moan but follow her to the kitchen.
Mother is wearing a white tight, too sexy for my taste, nightgown in the same material as our uniforms. She’s always ready to shift, just in case. She puts water into the teapot and pours some herbs at the bottom of it.
“Kate and your Spirit Wolf mate Jupiter handpicked these and brought them across the world just for you,” Mother lectures me and put the pot onto the stove. “You’ll get an early death if you don’t drink at least one cup a day.”
My irritation disappear a little bit as I regain control over my feelings a little bit.
“Really?” I wonder and study the small herbs in astonishment. “Did our Kate pick all these by herself?”
“It shouldn’t surprise you,” I hear Jupiter’s deep voice from behind me. “Kate told you that she is good with herbs.”
“Back off from my daughter!” Mother roars defensively which makes me jump back in surprise. Did she really just yell at a Wolf Spirit? “You don’t touch her unless she has your ring on that finger, is that clear?”
“Yes ma’am,” he answers her seriously and takes a step back as well.
“She doesn’t appreciate to have a Spirit as her mate so I expect you to give her some space to cool off.” She brings out my mug from one of the shelves and puts it on the counter. “That involves spying on her when she doesn’t know you are there.”
I look at Jupiter and then back at Mother. I frown and take a seat by the table. Father joins us in the kitchen and I moan out loudly. Life feels great at the moment. Father grabs my hand in sympathy while Mother is glaring down my mate. I guess they didn’t know he is my mate.
I feel sorry for him. The fact that he’s a Wolf Spirit doesn’t count when a mate is near her children. Well, unless it’s Leanne and Tom, but that might be because they actually didn’t do anything yet. Not even a first kiss!
Who am I just sitting here while Mother is intimidating my new reason to live?
The affection I feel for Jupiter overshadows everything. My own defensiveness wakes up from deep inside of me and I quickly jump up from the seat and slam Mother onto the floor. She tries to wriggle out of the grip but I hold her still. I don’t know where my newfound strength comes from, but oh no… I let go of Mother instantly and take a few steps back.
“What is happening to me?” I say out loud. “Why am I so violent all of a sudden?”
Mother shrugs and stands up gracefully. I’m so lucky that she let me knock her down. She would never hit me or hurt me in any way possible.
“You lose control when you are angry,” Jupiter tells us and removes the teapot from the stove. He pours the hot tea into my cup and hands it over to me. “Carefully so you don’t burn yourself.”
“Thanks,” I say awkwardly and retake my spot at the table where Father is still yawning. “I’m sorry, you can go back to bed,” I say with guilt.
“And miss all the drama?” he asks with a grin. “I don’t think so.”
The tea smells good. I look down at the small flower heads that are lying on the bottom of the cup and I wonder how much work it takes to prepare just this one cup.
“Is this tea really that good?” I ask Jupiter since he is a Wolf Spirit and knows all answers. That makes me wonder what more I will benefit from having a Spirit as a mate.
“Yes,” he answers me quickly with a small smile that makes my heart fuzzy. “It’s really strong drugs, so no one else can drink it. It would put their hearts into overdrive.”
“That doesn’t sound too good,” I answer him in a teasing tone. “I better keep it to myself then.”
I taste the tea and know one thing for sure; I must see Kate tomorrow. Something tells me she holds all the answers. Jupiter is her friend it seems like and that makes me wonder how close she really is to the Spirits. Do I really want to know?
Either way I’m getting involved with a Spirit whatever I want it or not. The mate bond is too hard to resist. I don’t want to resist when I know how much he calms my heart. I want to be loved and given a chance to love someone. Let it be a Wolf Spirit if it must.
Then there’s the execution and I realize that I’m not interested to see it at all. I should spend that time with Kate instead as she will refuse to watch it. I hope Jupiter’s bruise will disappear before she notices it, Otherwise I’ll have more explaining to do than she has.
I don’t want to feel sorry for myself, but I can’t help that I do.
-
Kate opens the door and steps out of Adam’s cute little cabin when I enter the garden. Adam’s garden is the smallest, but he insisted on building it between two other houses so it is his loss. The sight of the greenery makes me sigh with happiness. I love these gardens so much. I don’t want to live a day without them.
Kate is back into one of her summer dresses and her hair is hanging freely, the wind is gripping it playfully and I wonder if Jupiter thinks she is prettier than me. I shouldn’t think like this, I just can’t help it.
“So a certain Jupiter paid me a visit last night,” I tell her when we are shielded from the neighbours’ eyes. “It turns out that he is my mate.”
She closes her eyes and I feel worried when I notice the black bags under her eyes.
“Jupiter, I don’t like when you are gone for so long,” she says sadly and a white fantastic wolf shows up out of thin air. Kate wraps her arms around him and sighs like it’s the only thing keeping her alive. “I am glad that you are back now.”
She looks up at me with intense eyes and I can’t help but feel confused over the wolf. It’s Jupiter; I can feel the mate bond. Wolf Spirits aren’t supposed to shift into either humans or wolves.
“Jupiter is guarding me,” Kate suddenly tells me. “He makes sure that I am alright, just as he will make sure you are okay. He’s my best friend. My only friend actually.”
She sounds so sad that I give up and plant myself on the ground next to them. Not that there is much grass to sit on when flowers and bushes are taking up most of the garden.
“Thank you for the herbs. You must have put a lot of work into them.”
She shrugs. “There was literally nothing else to do on Rosalea. The people avoided me and I only had myself since I tried to stay out of John’s house as much as possible.” She wets her lips and I stay quiet in hope that she will tell me more about her life. “I liked to have a purpose there. I made money for them and made myself important for the whole community. Alpha Eon must be so angry to let me go. Furious that she has to pay me for my work.” She gives off a humourless chuckle. “Gretel called me a few minutes ago. Alpha Eon agreed to pay me three million.”
It’s my time to laugh now. Three million? Not even our parents own that much money. Did she make that much money from preparing those tiny little herbs? I’m stunned. Kate really is a professional.
“Wow,” is all I manage to say and she nods slowly.
“Gretel almost confiscated your herbs when she found me on that boat. Imagine how expensive one of those bags is. I’m sure she’s having fun patrolling the sea just to smack down people who are trying to make money illegally by them. It’s dangerous when people without knowledge jumps into the business. It is dangerous for the lives that buy the herbs. Only an herbalist can know for sure if it is the correct herbs.” She gives me a small smile and pats Jupiter’s head. “I’m boring you.”
“No you’re not!” I protest. “I like hearing. Jupiter seems to like that.” I nod towards her hand that is stroking his fur gently.
“Jupiter and I are deeper connected than a Spirit and a wolf should be,” she finally lets me know. “I made a pact with Jupiter just to make sure that I’d live. We exchanged ourselves. He gave me his Spirit and I gave him my wolf. This is actually my wolf. I can’t shift at all. I don’t regret my decision but I miss it. He can shift into human and wolf as you already have understood. I on the other hand took over the mind of a Spirit. I hear everything. I see things. I know things.”
The information is swimming inside my head and I can barely get my thoughts straight. I knew something was different, but this? I grasp Jupiter’s tail to calm myself down. Tears are forming inside my eyes and I look down onto the grass heartbroken.
“You became a Wolf Spirit, the same kind that I decided to hate because you were taken from me,” I whisper.
Kate tries to take my hand but I shake her away and get up onto my feet.
“It’s alright,” she says a bit scared.
“No it is not alright!” I yell out loud. “All these years I thought they abandoned us when all they abandoned was me. They were there with you. I only have myself left to hate now. Don’t you understand? It is my fault you were taken. I lured you into that forest.”
“No you did not!” Kate growls angrily. “I wanted to go in there. I waved the man over. I let him hurt you. Don’t you understand that those images of you were imprinted in my brain until the day I saw you again at our birthday? Half-dead and bleeding on the grass. Ripped into pieces.”
She is crying silently and I stand there frozen. Did she blame herself all this time? My lovely sister who suffered most of us, did she really think it was her fault? I never realized she could feel this way. I was too focused on my own feelings.
The execution bell goes off, telling us that we have one hour to get to the arena. It is not used often as not many executions are public like this one. The bell is old but it sounds loud and clear over the village. Kate and I aren’t ready to go there. Nowhere near ready. We have our own issues to solve.