"Jade fucking Jones." Someone purrs in my ear as I try to regain my breathing. I recognize the voice and know who it is. I put back on a fake smile and turn around.
"Luke fucking Hemmings." I cross my arms over my chest.
"Wow," Luke smirks. "Someone is feeling confident tonight. That's new."
There wasn't a lot of space between us but I didn't feel uncomfortable. I felt awkward but wasn't getting annoyed at Luke. He wasn't stepping on any toes, not yet anyway.
"It the alcohol." My cheeks were flushing.
Luke hums a response. "I feel the same." Luke moves an inch closer to me. I still feel okay. If anything did get out of hand though, Ashton would show up and save me. He would. No matter how much we would yell at each other he will show up.
"Okay." I nod and look down at my feet and then back up to see the blond boy staring me straight in the eyes.
"Can I get you anything else to drink?" He asks me politely.
"Just a water." I say. I really needed one. My throat was scratchy and my mouth was dry.
"Sure." Luke goes over to his fridge and pulls out a bottle. He hands me it and I thank him, and take a sip.
"You don't drink much, do you?" Luke asks with a slight smirk.
"Nope." I shake my head.
"Because it's illegal?" He asks me.
I just shrug. I've been drunk before and it didn't end well. It ended with me and Calum.
Luke smiles. "So what brings you here?"
"Charlie." I lie. "She brought me along."
"Remind me to thank her later." Luke says and I just cock my head to the side, not sure what he meant. I didn't have time to ask what he meant when he all of a sudden closed the gap between us.
He pressed his lips against mine. The taste of bitter alcohol hit my lips. I realize immediatly what is happening and push Luke off me, as quick as possible.
"What're you doing?" I ask, feeling my cheeks heat up. I just kissed another boy. I'm dating Ashton. I just kissed another boy when I'm dating Ashton. I just cheated on Ashton.
"Oh come on," Luke groans. He grabs my wrist, rathe gently might I add, tugging me to him. "We both knew this would happen eventually."
"No," I say but Luke already has his lips back on mine again. "Luke," I mumble against his lips and push him off me again when his hands snake around my waist and his lips part mine slightly. "Enough." I tell him definiantly. I may be drunk but I can still handle myself with Luke.
Luke chuckles as he stands back from me, giving me a little space. The feeling of dread washed over me. Luke all of a sudden scared me. i don't know if it was because the alcohol in my body has stopped corsing through my veins and making everything clear again. The fight with Ashton comes back to me vividly. I shouldn't have let him leave. I should've made him stay with me, or even better, went home with him. He wasn't coming to save me. Not after the way I acted. I had to handle Luke by myself. I could do that.
"I'm going." I say quietly, brushing past Luke and out of the kitchen, my water in hand. As I walk through the hall i bring my phone out of my jacket pocket. I find it difficult to read the bright screen but eventually my eyes adjust. I make it outside and down the front steps of Luke's porch. I stand at the bottom, putting the water bottle on the railing around the porch, just above my head. I stare down at my phone, trying to find Ashton's name, but everything just seem so much more difficult.
"Jade," I suddenly look up again, Luke staring down at me, his smirk as present as ever. "You weren't seriously leaving me?" He pouts.
I nod quickly and bring my face down again to my phone. I still can't quite find Ashton's name. Was it even on my phone? I don't even remember if I actually have his number anymore. What was it? I should know it off by heart.
Luke's left hand finds my waist again and I just think the best thing to do is ignore it. I should just ignore it. He will leave me alone if I ignore it. Then his right hand goes under my chin. He lifts my head up in a swift movement and I gulp when his eyes meet mine. He smirks again before pushing our lips together again.
"Luke!" I yell but his lips silence mine. He is much firmer with his grip now. He parts both of our lips and deepens the kiss. I drop my phone on the grass and begin to punch at his chest. I feel him laugh against my lips and he quickly begins to strip me of my jacket, disgusted it into the ground.
"Lets go back inside." Luke pecks my lips once more before he takes me by the hand to lead me back up the steps to his house. I think quickly and grab the bottle that is still in the railing and hit Luke across the back of the head with it as he turns.
He yelps and lets go of my hand, cupping the back of his head. I sprint off to the side of his house. I clutch my water as I begin to sink down against the side of the house. My body a shaking, sobbing mess.
"Jade!" Luke calls after me. I block him out. I feel like I'm going to throw up. I want to throw up. I feel like I need to.
"Jade." I close my eyes when I hear him come around the corner. "Please look at me." Luke says softly. I pry my eyes open and look up at him. He looks different as he stands above me. He's holding my phone in hand, his face soft and sad. I don't know why he looks so miserable.
"I have your phone." He holds it out for me to take. I look reluctantly up at him and slowly reach out for my phone. "Come on," Luke holds his hand out for me to take but I just back away and push myself up using the wall. I hold into the bottle for dear life, it's my only protection. "I'm-" Luke begins to speak but I had no patience for him.
"I'm going." I choke out. I don't need to barge past Luke, he moves aside for me.
I can't believe I ever thought I could talk to him about Ashton. I can't believe I thought he might actually be a good guy. No good guy does that. No good guy would dare treat a girl that way. I just need to find a way home now.
I have to walk a little bit away from the house before I see Ashton. I almost run and cry into his shoulder when I see him sitting on the curb all alone. He probably hates me. I hate me.
"Ashton?"
~~~
Jade pulls her head up from the toilet to get some fresh air. Her mom comes bustling backinto thebathroom when she hears Jade finish. She tuts under her breath and puts a glass of water beside her daughter before leaving again.
This morning Jade woke up to both if her parents questioning her about last night. What happened to just studying at Calum's? Why did they open the door to Jade, half asleep, being carried by Ashton and Calum? What was going through her head?
She didn't have any answers for them. Well, they would understand or accept. So she just remained quiet and promised that she didn't take drugs, or show she isn't ready for college. She was ready for college. She couldn't stay here.
Jade finally managed to crawl away from the toilet and shower. She had need felt this way before. She thought she was dying. Her head was killing her, her stomach felt like it was the new home of some dolphins performing flips, and her feet and ankles were swollen from the footwear from last night. She just wanted last night to never have happened. From deciding to go to Charlie for help, to Luke forcing her to kiss him. She wanted it all to not have happened. She just wants it to have never been a night that happened or she would have remembered. But sadly she does and sadly she can't forget it.
"Mom?" Jade croaked out when she reached her mom, cooking away in the kitchen.
"Yes?" Her mom sighed, turning away from the stove.
"Can I go to Ashton's house?" Jade had decided that once she got dressed and looked as presentable as she could she would go see Ashton. He deserved some sort of an explanation and apology.
Jade's mom looked her up and down and sighed. "Jade... after last night," she began. "I'm not sure that's a good idea."
"I'll only be there for about an hour. It won't be long." She promises.
Her mom nods and slowly turns back around. Jade mumbles a thank you and quickly leaves her house to go across the road.
She knocks twice on Ashton's door before Mrs Irwin answers, a huge smile across her face when she see Jade.
"Oh," she says cheerily. "Jade! How nice to see you."
"Hi, Mrs Irwin." Jade smiles politely. "Is Ashton here?"
"Yeah, he is up in his room." Mrs Irwin moves so Jade can come in. "Are you staying for lunch?"
"Probably not, no." Jade responds.
"Okay, that's fine." Mrs Irwin gives Jade a little pat. "You have to stay for dinner with the whole family one night."
Jade gulps as she pictures that. Her, Ashton, Harry, Lauren, Mrs Irwin and of course Ashton's dad.
"Sure." Jade smiles falsely and goes up the stairs to Ashton's room. She is terrified that she might bump into his dad. She never wants to see that man ever again.
Feeling like she was going to be sick all over again she knocked on Ashton's door. She heard feet padding on his carpet and then eventually him opening the door.
"Jade?" He says with surprise.
"Hi." Jade says quietly.
"Hi," Ashton smiles slightly. "Come in." He opens the door for her some more and she enters his room. It was pretty messy. Like not messy like the typical boy's room messy but more like someone has came in and thrown everything around the place. jade didn't want to know even though she felt like she probably should have asked.
Ashton goes over and sits on his bed and Jade keeps standing by the door, awkwardly shuffling on her feet.
"Jade," Ashton says. "You can sit."
"Oh." Jade says, blushing, and quickly sits down on the edge of the bed.
An intense awkwardness settles over the two and Jade bites her nails before she finally gets the courage to speak. "I'm sorry."
"I know." Ashton says back.
"I shouldn't have went to the party." Jade can already feel the sobs wanting to surface again but she refuses them.
"Are you going to tell me what happened?" Ashton's asks, turning so he is facing Jade.
Jade bites her lip thinking about it before repeating her apology again.
"Jade," Ashton says. He intertwines their fingers and moves so he is sitting between her legs, before wrapping hers around his waist and pulling her into his lap. "Please tell me what happened." He practically begs her so she does.
She starts with Luke saying her name and ending with her saying Ashton's. Throughout the telling she felt Ashton getting tenser and tense before she finally finished. Ashton wipes his thumb against Jade's cheek which is coated in wetness from the tears Jade couldn't suppress.
"Please don't be mad at me." Jade sniffs.
Ashton cocks an eyebrow before saying, "Why the hell would I be mad at you?" He wasn't trying to sound harsh, Jade knew that.
"Because," Jade rubs her damp eyes, probably making them red. "Me and Luke kissed. I kissed another boy."
Ashton just shakes his head. "No," he says simply. "You didn't." Jade opens her mouth to speak but Ashton puts a finger to his lips. "Luke kissed you, multiple times, after you said no. He took your jacket off you. He tried to force you to do something you didn't want to do. you were mad at me and drunk as could've done whatever Luke wanted you to do but you didn't. You didn't so I'm not mad at you, I don't hate you, and you certainly don't need to apologize. Never apologize to me if something like that happens. You tell me straight away and I will kill him."
"Ashton..." Jade was a little shocked at how bluntly Ashton was saying this.
"Jade," Ashton dead pans. "I'm going to kill him."
"Ashton, no." Jade starts to quickly shake her head.
"Do you not get it?" Ashton snaps at her. "Jade if you didn't hit him with that bottle something bad could've happened. He could have really hurt you." Ashton calms down a bit when he sees how Jade is pulling back from him slightly. He wipes under her eyes again. "Jade, even if you weren't my girlfriend I would still react the same way."
"You wouldn't even know me." Jade laughs weakly.
"Trust me Jade," Ashton says seriously. "I would know you." Ashton cups Jade's face him his hands before bringing it down and slowly moving his lips against hers. Jade's eyes flutter close as she runs her hands up his arms, holding gently into his wrists as he holds her face.
Ashton pulls back and moves some hair out of Jade's face. He admires her and twist the long dark hair between his thumb and forefinger before dropping it.
"I'm still sorry for going to the party and yelling at you." Jade and Ashton's faces are so close Jade doesn't feel the need to bring her voice above a whisper.
"You had every right." Ashton copies her volume. "I should never have said those things about you."
"I'm not giving this up." Jade kisses his lips.
"Good." Ashton says between a kiss. "Because I'm not either."
Jade smiles against his lips when he connects them again and guides his hands to her waist and his warm hands brush against the cold skin under her too. Jade's hands go to the hem of his top.
"Can..." Jade trails of and blushes.
"Yeah?" Ashton asks her softly.
"Can you take this off?" She tugs at the end of his tank top.
Ashton smiles sweetly before kissing the end of her nose. "You sure?" Jade knew that Ashton knew what she wanted. He wasn't checking just to make sure she was comfortable with him removing his top.
"I'm sure." That's all Ashton needed for him to take his top off over his head.
Jade stared down at his naked too half. She's seen him without a top on before but never like this. Not in this way. Ashton begins peppering kisses along her jaw and just below her ear making Jade give a little moan before pulling back slightly, totally embarrassed with herself.
"Hey," Ashton says softly pecking her lips. "It's okay." He reassures her. Waiting for Jade to nod he finally starts kissing down her neck. Jade lets out little moans now and then. This is not how it happened with Calum. This is nothing like her and Calum.
Ashton slowly falls backwards onto the bed, Jade on top of him with her legs at either side of his body.
"Jade," he murmurs softly as she begins copying what he was just doing and kissing his neck. She eventually makes it to his collar bone when she sits up and abruptly unzips her unflattering hoodie. Ashton watches with wide eyes as she slowly removes her baggy top, leaving her in a plain white bra. If she knew this was going to happen she would've made a better attempt at picking better underwear.
Ashton smiles and suddenly Jade is underneath Ashton. His lips back on hers. He brings his hand to cup her breast over her bra.
"Ashton," Jade breaths out as he does it. She feels him smirk against her lips and her hands fly to his hair. Ashton's hand moves down her stomach before his thumb slides along the waist band of her leggings.
"Jade?" He breaks the kiss, looking into her eyes. "You're a virgin, right?"
Before Jade could even open her mouth to answer. Ashton's mom calls his name.
"Ashton?" When she calls Ashton springs up and kneels between Jade's legs.
"Yeah?" He calls back, he is clearly trying to cover up his nervousness.
Jade instinctively crosses her arms over her chest. She can believe she just let Ashton see her bra. She was about to have sex with him. He asks if she was a virgin. What the fuck was she meant to respond with? Just lie an say yes, like he expects. Or tell the truth but then have to explain that it was Calum.
"Is Jade sure she isn't staying for lunch?" Ashton quickly looks at Jade and she suddenly remembers she wasn't to be at Ashton's for more than half an hour. She shakes her head and sighs out in disappointment.
"No, she can't." Ashton calls back, looking as disappointed as Jade must have been.
"Okay." Mrs Irwin calls back and Jade sits up, leaning against the headboard.
"I promised my mom it would only be a half an hour visit." She explains.
"Are you in trouble?" Ashton's asks.
"Yeah, both my parents yelled at me." Jade sighs. "It's fine though."
Ashton nods and gets off the bed, picking up Jade's top for her to put back on. "Thanks." Jade smiles and Ashton just gives another nod. He was clearly disappointed that they couldn't go any further. But Jade was going to be honest that she was happy she didn't have to answer that question.
"Ash-" Jade begins to speak but Ashton cuts her of by kissing her.
"Can we try again someday?" Ashton asks shyly when he pulls back from her.
Jade nods. "I'd like that."
"Good." Ashton smiles, pecking Jade's lips.
Jade goes over to the door and before opening it turns to Ashton and says, "I know you are mad at Luke but please don't go crazy at him."
"Why?" Ashton asks with a look of confusion.
"Because I don't want you fighting again like you did at the party. I didn't like hearing that."
"He can't treat girl this way." Ashton say with frustration.
Jade nods. "I know." she agrees. "But I don't want you getting in a fight. You can't get hurt. You need to be okay for college and football."
Ashton sighs, realizing Jade is right. "I know." He admits. "But I can't just say nothing."
Jade looks down at the ground. "Just be careful." She knows there is nothing she can say to change Ashton's mind.
"I will be." Ashton reassures her.
"Okay."
"Okay."
With that Jade leaves. She wishes she could have stayed. She wishes she could've said more to Ashton. She wishes that she could've told Ashton something before she left.
She wishes she could've said that she loves him.