"Draco?"
"Mmm?" he replied absently, flicking his tongue out and licking Harry's throat lightly, curiously. It tasted like he had always imagined Harry would taste, and Draco didn't bother wondering when he'd ever sat and wondered what Harry's skin would taste like. Instead, he opened his mouth a bit and sucked lightly.
Startled, Harry whimpered, trying to twist away and pull Draco closer at the same time. The result was that Draco lost his balance and fell partially on top of him, and before he could right himself and pull away, one of Harry's arms had come up and wrapped around his shoulders, pinning him there. Rather startled himself, Draco whispered, "Oi, Harry, make up your sodding mind."
Instead of making up his mind, Harry licked his lips, and Draco was lost. With a helpless sort of nervous worry in his eyes, his eyes were drawn to Harry's mouth, mere inches from his own, and he closed the small distance to kiss him. Harry sensed it, opening his mouth eagerly, a strange sort of shivering urgency in the way he leaned upwards, meeting Draco halfway. Their mouths crashed together, Harry's tongue pushing almost angrily into Draco's mouth, startling him. Panicking, Draco tried to pull away, and Harry felt his fear and the kiss changed, gentled, and it was Harry soothing Draco this time. Sucking his lower lip in an apologetic way, Harry stroked Draco's cheek carefully, calming him, and Draco wondered wryly when it had changed and become Harry worrying about pushing Draco too far.
The nervous butterflies calmed at the sweetness of Harry's mouth below his, and Draco relaxed, flicking his tongue against Harry's, drawing it back inside his mouth. He felt Harry smile against his lips and couldn't help but smile back.
Draco wasn't sure what he was doing or what it would lead to, all he knew was that this was what Harry wanted, this would somehow make things easier for Harry, and that was all that mattered. If Harry wanted, Draco would have walked to the moon and back, and this seemed infinitely simpler, easier, and much safer. This was just Harry. Kissing Harry. It should have scared him, but it didn't, it only made him terribly nervous and excited and shaky and... He smiled again, because Harry hadn't yet mastered the art of breathing through his nose, and he'd pulled away, sucking in a ragged breath, turning his face to the side and panting.
He didn't want to stop kissing him, so Draco kissed the corner of Harry's lips while the other boy tried to catch his breath, and then slid lower, to the line of his jaw, tracing that up to his ear. A strangled, breathless whimper made him smirk as he bit Harry's earlobe gently and sucked it a little, before nuzzling the skin behind Harry's ear and kissing it lightly.
"C'mon now," he whispered, smiling. "It's not so hard, surely you remember how to breathe, Harry."
"It's not..." Harry gasped. "That I forget...how to... how to breathe... it's just that you're not...giving me time to catch my breath!"
Deciding that if he had enough breath to say all of that, he must have caught it after all, and Draco tilted Harry's face back up and kissed him again, shifting instinctively, until he was kneeling over Harry, both hands on his chin, framing his face and keeping it still. Only after he had reassured himself that Harry wouldn't twist away again, Draco let his hands slip lower, down over Harry's shoulders, his arms, and finally to his hands, pinning them to the grass and pressing his on top. Palm to palm, Harry automatically curled his fingers around Draco's hands, even as he opened his mouth with a tiny whimper that sounded rather like a purr, letting Draco's tongue slip inside.
That sound sent something wild and hot spiraling low in Draco's stomach and it was rather like a strong shot of alcohol that went straight to his brain. Reacting to that, and the heat of Harry's mouth, Draco let himself stretch out on top of the other boy, pinning him almost in the exact way he had on the Quidditch pitch the day he'd fallen from his broom: chest, hips, and thighs.
Harry panicked, tearing his mouth away and turning his head to the side, jerking his hands away and pushing against Draco's chest.
Only after Draco pulled away a bit, bracing himself on his elbows and lifting himself up off of him a little, did Harry turn his face back, eyes looking wide, startled, and very dark. Resting his forehead against Harry's, Draco started stroking his face, smoothing his hair. "Shh, it's alright, it's alright, I won't, I promise," he whispered incoherently.
"You won't what?" Harry asked shakily.
Draco swallowed, all of the butterflies in his stomach coming back full force as he squeezed his eyes shut and tried frantically to calm down and think, figure out what he was doing...stop...stop scaring Harry... stop scaring himself. "I just... won't," he said finally, still breathing heavily.
There was a breathless moment, one of those endless moments, in which Harry's eyes narrowed thoughtfully and Draco watched the shadows his eyelashes made on his pale skin, and then Harry bit his lower lip. For a long time, Draco just stared into his eyes and wondered at the strange emotions he saw flickering there, and then Harry tensed, muscles shifting beneath Draco so suddenly that he yelped when he was flipped onto his back and Harry was almost shyly looking down at him.
"But what if I want you to?" he whispered, licking his lower lip uncertainly.
"...Oh," Draco breathed, not sure if he was ready for whatever Harry was suggesting but knowing that there was no way in hell he was going to say no. No way in hell he was going to let Harry back away, put more distance between them, because even Harry lying on top of him was not close enough. It wasn't... wasn't skin the way it had been in the lake.
Harry let out a shaky breath slowly and Draco reached up, pulling his glasses off and dropping them to the grass. A slow smile spread across Harry's lips and he ducked his head, dark hair falling into his eyes. Reaching up, Draco brushed it aside, fingertips grazing Harry's forehead, and their eyes met and held for a long moment.
It was different, Draco decided rather incoherently. Harry's eyes were different than he'd ever seen them, they looked...looked like glowing pools. Bright and deep and like Draco could fall into them forever. He wondered if it was because they'd been kissing, and wondered if his eyes looked the same, only silver.
Harry shifted and Draco's entire body echoed with the strange shock of that, as if lightning had suddenly shot through his veins. "Umm," he gasped, eyes going wide.
Instantly looking worried, Harry whispered, "What? Did I hurt you?"
"Umm," Draco said again, closing his eyes and, in an attempt to demonstrate what had caused that reaction, quite sure he would never be able to find the words for it, he lifted his hips a bit; Harry's knee had fallen between his legs, his own hips grinding down a bit, and he appeared quite unaware of it. Until, of course, it was Draco who was shifting against him, and then Harry's own eyes widened and his body jolted a bit. He swallowed heavily.
"Oh. Umm." Licking his lips, Harry closed his eyes and Draco hesitantly lifted his hands to Harry's shoulders, sure the other boy was going to panic and roll away and wanting, somehow, to convince him to stay. He needn't have bothered. Even as he was wistfully preparing for the suddenly flash of cold he knew would hit him after Harry pulled away, the other boy was gingerly yet deliberately grinding his hips down into Draco's, his eyes fixed on Draco's face, as though waiting for a reaction.
"God," Draco breathed, the sudden rush of heat through his entire body making it hard to think.
Harry smirked a little and kissed him hard, the force of it nearly bruising Draco's mouth, but he didn't care. It was wild and strange and he'd never done anything remotely like this, not with Lisa or anyone. Even if he had, he doubted that it would have made him ache as badly as this did, with the strange mix of aggression and hesitation in every move Harry made. As if he wanted to devour Draco but first shyly asked permission.
Shivering as Harry slid lower, kissing his neck, Draco closed his eyes, licking his lips nervously and wondering when the world went mad and how he ended up on his back in a grassy field with Harry on top of him, kissing him, sucking and biting his neck, making him forget...forget all the reasons why he shouldn't be... oh god, making him...ohhh... "Harry," he stammered, because Harry's hand had slipped lower, down over Draco's stomach, brushing against his... against his... oh god.
Draco sat up so suddenly that Harry fell to the ground beside him with a muffled grunt. "Oh god, oh god," he was chanting, feeling suddenly ill. "I didn't mean to, Harry, I swear, I..." It wasn't right, it wasn't normal, this was worse than that dream he'd had, when he woke up and he was hard, because this was real and Harry was there and Harry knew and Draco suddenly wanted the ground to open up and swallow him and nothing could be as embarrassing as Harry Potter knowing that Draco Malfoy had gotten like that because Draco was quite sure it was a rule somewhere in the Family Code that Malfoys Do Not Get Turned On By Other Boys. Especially in fields. Outside. Like animals. Peasants. In the grass. Oh god, oh god, oh god, oh -
"Did I... did I do something wrong?" Harry asked in a tiny voice, and Draco blinked, glancing down at where Harry was sprawled on the ground.
"W-what?"
"I... I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I just..."
Draco bit his lip, honestly confused. Harry should be disgusted, horrified, something. Not looking like he was about to cry and oddly vulnerable without his glasses and his hair messed up that way. "No," Draco said very quietly. "I... I didn't mean to."
"Didn't mean to what? It was me, I shouldn't have -"
"Didn't mean to do that."
"What?" Harry blinked, looking blank.
His face was slowly turning pink, Draco could feel it, and he looked almost sheepishly at the ground, clearing his throat. There was a long silence, and then Harry made a surprised sound in the back of his throat and then said, "Oh."
Draco looked up at him and winced at the crazy, lopsided grin on Harry's face. "What?" he asked, stung.
"Draco, you're so dense sometimes!" Harry cried, laughing.
"What?" he asked again, sulkily.
Harry got to his knees and touched Draco's cheek, saying quietly, "That's why you freaked out? It wasn't that you didn't want me to touch you?"
Swallowing shakily, Draco nodded, and Harry slipped his hand back so that his fingers were buried in Draco's hair. "You promise?"
He nodded again, closing his eyes.
"And you don't think you do the same to me?"
His eyes flew open and he bit his lip, glancing at Harry uncertainly. "What?"
Rolling his eyes, Harry grabbed Draco's hand and then, when he noticed, much to Draco's disgust, that it was shaking, he kissed the knuckles lightly and then slid it down to the front of his trousers.
"...Oh," Draco breathed, startled. He hadn't even realized...
"Can I... can I kiss you again, then?" Harry asked, suddenly shy again.
"Umm," Draco replied, licking his lips, which apparently, Harry took as permission.
It was strange, Draco decided musingly, as he kissed Harry back and let the other boy nudge him so that he was lying on his back in the grass again, Harry smiling brightly and stretching out on top of him again. He was the only one with any sort of experience at all, and Harry was practically leading him through this.
Though he was being polite about it.
"Can I... can I... umm," he whispered against Draco's lips, his hand hovering on Draco's stomach uncertainly.
Nervously, Draco swallowed and nodded, and Harry grinned at him and kissed him again. "Relax," he teased, biting Draco's lower lip.
I've created some sort of monster, Draco decided, with no small amount of thrill at the prospect. A monster, maybe, but his monster, who was currently-oh god, undoing his trousers and... Oh.
"Mmm," Draco whimpered, and Harry kissed him again, as if trying to distract him from the way his hand was moving over him lightly, sort of a strange, erotic exploration that was making it very hard for Draco to be distracted. Even by Harry's tongue in his mouth, which he had thought, only moments before, would be the most distracting thing in the world.
And then Harry's hand wrapped around him and Draco's list of The Most Distracting Thing In The World was revised again.
Harry's voice was shaky. "Is that... is that okay?"
"You wanna, just... ummm..." Draco's hand wrapped around Harry's and he grinned a bit and rolled his eyes, adjusting his hand a little. It was trembling badly, and Draco was relieved that Harry was at least a little nervous.
"L-like that?"
"Ummh...."
He laughed. "Right. I'll take that as a yes."
"Haven't you ever -"
"I've never -"
They had spoken at the same time, Draco's voice rather hoarse and Harry's breathless, and Draco opened his eyes, staring up at Harry in surprise. "Never?"
"Umm. Is it alright? I'm not... I..."
"Shut up," Draco growled, rolling his eyes. "It's... god. Umm. I mean." He rolled his eyes again and gave up trying to form a coherent sentence and instead pulled Harry down on top of him and kissed him hard.
"Oh," Harry mumbled, kissing him back, distracted so that his hand slowly stopped moving as he lost himself in the kiss.
But Draco suddenly didn't care, because for all of Harry's inexperience with anything of this nature, he was having trouble breathing, thinking, doing anything except whimpering and trying not to yelp anything too obscene.
He'd never thought it could feel like that...
Then again, he'd never imagined it would be Harry's hand doing it, and that somehow made it better, though how it could get better, Draco didn't know.
Come to think of it, he'd never imagined a lot of the things that had happened lately, with Harry...
A sudden thought made Draco's entire body run cold. "Harry?" he whispered.
Harry must have seen the sudden worry in his eyes. "What's wrong?"
"You know how you randomly started skipping class?"
"Yeah..."
"And going to Hogsmeade in the middle of the night?"
"Uh huh..."
"And just generally being a rebellious little brat?"
"...Umm. What's your point, Malfoy?"
"This... this isn't more of the same, is it?"
Harry stiffened, eyes growing wary, hand falling away. "What?"
"I mean..." He was having trouble forming a coherent sentence. "I mean that this isn't something wrong that you're doing, just because you shouldn't."
There was a long moment in which Harry stared at him, absolutely incredulous and Draco had the sinking feeling that perhaps he shouldn't have said that. Harry sat up and backed away - more like, stumbled away, really. "Is that what you think this is?" he hissed.
Definitely shouldn't have said that. "I only meant that -"
"That what?" His voice was scathing now, furious, and Draco winced. "That I decided, 'Hey! You know what would really piss people off? If I tried jerking Draco Malfoy off in a field somewhere!'"
"Harry, I didn't mean it like that!"
"Then how the hell did you mean it?"
"I was just worried, that's all." Even as he spoke, Draco was doing up his trousers, picking grass out of his hair, looking anywhere and everywhere except at Harry.
"Worried? Why the hell would you be worried?" Harry sneered, and Draco lost his temper.
He was on his feet before he realized it, and shouting. "Shut up, Harry, just shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! You think this entire thing is easy for me, or for your godfather, or even Dumbledore? What about your friends? You think this is easy for us? And yet you're going around acting like the whole world has fucked you over and it's like you're out for revenge or something, and you've been acting like a self-involved prat with everyone, but I'm not letting you do that to me, alright? Just grow up already!"
He wasn't thinking straight, wasn't really aware of anything except this terrible pain and fury that almost seemed to be ripping him up inside, and when Harry's fist swung at his face, he was completely unprepared.
It slammed into his jaw and his head snapped back, gray spots dancing in front of his eyes, blood from his split lip filling his mouth. "I shouldn't have expected you to understand," Harry spat in a low voice, cradling his aching fist, while Draco stared at him incredulously. "I must have forgotten, for a while there, who exactly it was I was speaking to."
And then he grabbed his broomstick and launched into the air and was gone.
His lower lip was trembling a bit and Draco's eyes were very wide. He glanced around, as if to make sure he was really alone, and then, blood dripping from his chin, he sank weakly to his knees, and cried.