*I missed you all so much and I know you missed me too. #Psychicme *
P.S. Before reading, a deep hearty request: I took down the book (impulsive act ik) so please please add the book back to your reading lists and your libraries. Pretty Please.
It was the third day of the challenge Mr-creep-smirk-face threw at us. Last night was one of the most horrible nights I had. Mr Khanna was again beside me handling my pathetic weak self. I still am trying to make myself believe that he's the same person who once swore to make my life hell. He has changed for good but the question is how?
And today I've decided I'm going to tell him everything and by everything, I mean every single damned thing. He has been trying his level best to protect me and my maa(not that I need him to) but still, I think it's time he knows the truth. He should know, the enemy he's fighting against is not only Mr Dwayne it's someone else too.
But what if he hates me after knowing the truth?
'What if he doesn't?'
'How can you be so sure he won't?'
'How can you be so sure he would?'
I sighed, maybe for once my conscience is right.
"I'm not going anywhere, not now, not ever.", his words were ringing in my ears. He promised me and Mr Khanna always keeps his words.
I knocked at the door of his study." Come in.", Mr Khanna's cool-composed voice came and my hands became clammy. Bloody hell! I didn't want to be nervous in front of him.
I entered the room and instantly my eyes got drawn towards a pair of brown cold eyes. Mr Khanna was talking to James, his hands busy doing something on the tablet. I took a deep breath and walked towards him. My heart was thumping rapidly in the rib cage.
I was feeling terrified but I was feeling courageous at the same time. All my life I had buried this secret in my heart and I swear I didn't have any intention to reveal it to anyone till this moment. But I knew if it wasn't for today I will never be able to say the darkest part of my life.
"Mr Khanna?", I breathed out and his fingers visibly froze. James took it as his cue to leave. Now it was only him and me.
"Come.", Mr Khanna broke the silence with his one single word. His emotionless eyes and cold tone giving me a soothing feeling, that's strange I know but it's like a home to me.
"Is there something you want to tell me?", Mr Khanna asked, his hands wrapped around me firmly. "Remember I told you, you don't need to rush into things, Miss Mehta. You can wait as long as you want."
"No.", my voice was firm." I need to face it, Mr Khanna. I want to let it out. I want you to know who you are helping."
Mr Khanna unwrapped his arms from around me and made me sit beside him on the black leather couch of his study.
I took a deep breath, where should I start? It's tough, it's tough to walk down the memory lanes that had haunted me for years. I swear when I walked to his study, I was confident I'd be able to tell him but now when the moment has finally come, words aren't coming from my mouth.
I tried to gulp the tears. Keyword-tried, because however hard I tried I always fail to hide my tears.
"Nahi ho rha mujhse Mr Khanna. I can't." I broke down, completely. All those scenes came to life right in front of my eyes. Mr Khanna had a hard look in his eyes, he pulled me towards him. (I'm not able to Mr Khanna, I can't.)
Tears flowed freely from my eyes and I promise I tried to stop myself but I can't. Mr Khanna didn't utter a single word and I'll be forever grateful to him for that. You think that wounds heal with time but no, no they don't, not till the time you face them. All my life I have just tried to escape them but never had I tried, not for once, to face them and today when I have the opportunity to face my fears I won't let it slide.
"I'm with you, Miss Mehta.", Mr Khanna's words tugged my chest. He's here. I'm not alone. Not anymore.
He brought his thumbs to my cheeks and softly wiped the tears off." You can do it. I know."
"Yes.", I sighed. Mr Khanna held my hand tightly and I looked at him directly into his eyes."I'll do it."
"That's my tigress.", Mr Khanna mumbled and my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Your Tigress?", I stressed on the first word.
"You are fierce, aren't you? Anyways we are getting off track.", he quickly said but why did I feel he was deliberately changing the topic.
"Neela Maa is not my mother, she's my masi(mother's sister) but never in life had she ever let me feel the loss of a mother. She has always been there with me, as a teacher, a guide more importantly a saviour who saved me from my own blood, my own father.
Such an irony Mr Khanna, my own father Mr Arlan Sullivan, the man who was supposed to make my life a paradise, made my life a curse.", a dry chuckle escaped me." You know in school when teachers or friends used to ask me about my father's whereabouts, I always use to tell them that he's busy with work, what could I tell them? that my so-called father is busy in getting drunk out of his senses."
"Why? Why was he like this?", Mr Khanna's grip on my hand was firm yet gentle.
"He used to blame me for my birth mother's death. My mum died while giving me birth. But today when I rethink his words, I guess somewhere he was right. I truly am an abomination. I ruined his perfect little happy life. Initially, it was all fine but when I hit my 9th birthday as if all hell broke loose. That was the first time he hit me. He told me I just looked like my mother and that my face used to make him remember her. You tell me was it my mistake I looked like her? I didn't ask God to make me like her."
His voice was reverberating in my ears, all those curses, those harsh words, they were making it nearly impossible for me to breathe but I pushed my panic aside.
"I-uh.", a sob escaped me and Mr Khanna's grip tightened." When a 9-yr child was supposed to dream about chocolates, her future, a good life, my 9-yr old self was busy finding ways not to come in front of my father. All-day I used to stay hidden from him in my room after coming from school, occasionally sneaking to get some food or water."
"Miss Mehta, it's fine if you don't..", Mr Khanna mentioned but I interrupted him." I want to. I want to say it for once and all."
"18th June 2007, the worst day of my life.", my hands shivered reminiscing that day." Till that day I believed that he was just depressed and used to release his pain in form of anger on me. He was my father after all but that day he-he behaved like a complete maniac. It looked like he was thirsty for blood, for my blood for his own daughter's blood.
That day when he came to the house, I peeked through my window, he had a murderous glint in his eyes. He yelled my name but I was terrified for my dear life, hence I hid, I did the best I could. I hid in the closet but that was the biggest mistake I could ever commit in my life, I should have escaped from the hell-hole aka my house."
"Sweetheart, come out don't trouble me." His voice was choking me.
"He found me."
"Caught you." He had a wicked smile on his face. A smile that makes you tremble with despair. A tremor that knows no limitation.
I snapped out of my trance and looked at my hand which was gripped by Mr Khanna." He tried to kill me for good that day.", I finally said." But whenever I think of that day I always pray it'd be me not him."
"Who?"
"Arsh Dada. Neela maa's son and my cousin but he was more than a cousin to me. He was more like a brother, a father figure to me. And because of me today he's not with us. I am the reason behind his death.", I wiped the tears and clenched my other hand so tightly that my nails dug in my skin making it bleed.
Flashback
"Please leave me Arlan.", I pleaded, folding my hands but the 37-year old maniac didn't seem to pity me.
"Let's play with a new toy today, come on sweetheart.", he dragged me gripping my forearm making me scream.
"Oh sweetheart why are you screaming, the fun has just begun. Now hush and enjoy.", he cooed sadistically.
"You know sweetheart, this is called a knife. What is it?", he asked, a sinister smirk on his face. A smirk that wants you to dig a deep hole in the earth and hide.
"Tell me, sweetie, what is it?", he asked, his index finger running on the sharp edge of the weapon.
"K-Kni-Knife."
"Good, now let's play with it, shall we?"
"Let's not.", suddenly finding some courage I retorted, and as a reply, he laughed. He laughed maniacally.
"For a 10-yr old, you sure have a good sense of humour, but tsk I am in a mood to play and we'll play.", he tsked and brought the sharp glinting object in front of me.
Just when he was about to plunge the dagger in my stomach, Arsh Dada came and he got attacked in my place.
Flashback ended
"Mr Khanna he didn't deserve it. That blow was for me but he took it on my behalf, Neela maa lost his son because of me. Perhaps that day if I hadn't hidden and had surrendered myself straight to him without throwing any rebellious acts, Arsh Dada couldn't have made it in time, he would have been alive today. It's because of me today he's not with Neela maa. I should have been dead."
"He was sentenced to imprisonment for 14 years that means he's free now. He's ready to ruin our lives again. You don't know he's a complete maniac, far mad than Mr Dwayne. I don't want to repeat that mistake again Mr Khanna, I can't let another mother lose her son just because of me.", I pulled my hand back from his grip and looked into his eyes.
"And that's why I've decided I'll go from here. Mistakes are meant to learn from Mr Khanna, I won't repeat the same again."
"You are done?", Mr Khanna said breaking his silence. He clutched my shoulders." Remember one thing, Miss Mehta.", his voice held a promise, his eyes, a sparkle." I'm never going to let you go. You are stuck with this, what do you call? You are stuck with this Arrogant son of a biscuit forever."
"You are not understanding Mr Khanna, he's dangerous, very dangerous.", I said shaking my head frantically.
"Trust me, I'm far more dangerous than him.", he said. His eyes were sparkling with that distinct emotion again.
But something was different today. I was able to recognize it today.
Was it Love?
Love?
Mr Khanna's eyes are shining with love?
'As the vision, So the world.'
'Wh-What do you mean?'
'That darling, finally the invisible layer of hate and fear has subsided off your eyes and now you can see what it's actually.'
'I can see love in his eyes because?'
'You are in love with him, idiot.'
'I love him.'
I love, L-O-V-E, Mr Khanna and maybe he loves me too.
I love this Block of Ice.
My Block of Ice.
_________________________________
*whines* I hate physics with every single cell in my body I swear. I have been crying over it since yesterday and how I ended?
Doing something I love with every single cell in my body- Writing.
Anyways! I hope you liked today's chapter. I really loved it finally you got to know Avu's past and finally, my tube light girl realized her love.
I sincerely hope It was worth waiting.
Don't forget to add the book to your reading list and don't forget to vote.
Much love!
Aapki seva mein sadev tatpar