CHAPTER SIXTY ONE
[61]
song: shine on you crazy diamond pt. 1-5 by pink floyd
IN HER DREAMS she is standing in a puddle, she is normal. Yet her reflection in the puddle, in the world of the upside-down, is a decaying corpse. Eyes rotten and skin falling off, she is what she should be. Dead.
While the image was horrifying she felt no fear. It was familiar and almost comforting. She wanted to stay in the peace that death brought; the peace that this was final and there was no more hurt, no more torment, no more guilt or grieving. There was nothing but peace.
Life in blood stained hands grabbed onto her shoulders and yanked her back into reality.
Awakening with a gasp, she found herself right back where she was an hour ago— an uncomfortable bed that she'd desperately been trying to stay asleep in for the past three hours.
Daisy pushed the uncomfortable duvet cover off off her sweat covered body, letting the breeze of the fan in the corner of the room make its rounds back over to her.
She leaned forward, rubbing her eyes frustratedly. Every bone of her body was telling her to sleep, but her mind wouldn't let her. It was like as soon as she was alone with her thoughts, her brain had to remind her that she couldn't get what she really wanted. It showed her peace, and then ripped it out from under her feet, knocking her right back into a deathless life.
She got to her feet, her aching body practically screaming at each step as she trudged forward out the bedroom door. She squinted her eyes at the hallway light, and yawned as she turned into the kitchen.
"I thought you went to bed." Kai says, glancing up at Daisy from the kitchen table, where he sat writing things in a book.
Daisy shrugged weakly, wiping her tired eyes with the sleeve of the sweatshirt she wore. "Nightmare." She says as she turns and opens the fridge. "Again." She lets out a deep sigh as she examines her options.
Unless she wanted to cook an entire steak, her options in the fridge were limited. She walked back over to the table and sat across Kai. "Have you been sat here this whole time?" She asks.
Kai leaned against his palm, his eyes scanning the pages of the book that sat flat in front of him, his pen tapping against it. "I'm testing a theory." He responds.
She grabbed a piece of the half eaten brownies from the tray on the table, putting her feet up on the chair. "Which is?" Daisy says.
"How long I can go without sleep here." Kai responds. Daisy glances at the book which was full of written notes and charts.
Daisy looked back up at him, he had yet to take his eyes off the page.
"And you're doing this why?" Daisy asks, leaning forward and reaching out towards the book to read it.
Kai sits up, pulling the book away from her reach. She narrowed her eyebrows at him. "Because sleep helps us grow. And we're not growing so... why sleep?" He says, trying to convince himself that he was onto some kind of groundbreaking theory.
"You look tired." She says.
Kai shook his head. "I'm not."
She took another bite from the brownie, grabbing another and handing it to Kai, who accepted it with a sigh. "How else are you going to pass the time if you don't sleep?" Daisy let's out a small scoff as she spoke.
"There's no time to pass." Kai spoke with a full mouth as his eyes trailed off to the floor.
The conversation had once again taken a somber turn. An inevitable feat that seemed to have been a reoccurring thing for the past months.
Moving from city to city, staying in a new house every night as they traveled to an unknown destination. Things were slow again, and they weren't going to pick up. Kai felt a small part of himself wishing that something bad would happen again so there'd be some sort of excitement— though he'd never say it out loud.
Daisy on the other hand was so consumed with this longing feeling that boredom was an afterthought. She craved a solitude she'd never achieve.
Maybe she didn't need to sleep. Maybe the human body's reactions to lack of self health was different here and there was no point. But if sleeping was the closest thing she could have to shutting her brain off for even a split second she'd do it, because it sure as hell wasn't off when she was awake.
"Hello?" Kai spoke. Daisy quickly looked up, realizing that she'd zoned out again. "I asked what your nightmare was about."
"The usual." She responded, shrugging a bit as she rummaged through the now empty brownie tray for crumbs.
Kai eyed her, waiting for a further explanation that never came. "Are you ever going to tell me what 'the usual' is because you say that every time I ask."
"Just—" Daisy glanced up at him and started to speak but stopped herself. "A bad dream. That's all."
Kai sighed and glanced up to the clock that sat in the kitchen, a deep groan falling from his mouth as he planted his face in his arms as they crossed on the table.
Daisy didn't even have to ask to understand what he was feeling. She'd felt it every day. Like waiting for something really really exciting, and feeling the days just drag on and on until that exciting thing happens.
But there was no exciting thing. That was the problem. There's nothing. Ever. Forever. And once you've lived a life where you felt what it was like to be truly done, only for a few moments, it made here and now so much more excruciatingly horrible.
"I think I'm going to learn how to fly a plane and go—" Daisy started speaking but stopped when a familiar smell filled her nose. She glanced around the room, then turned back to Kai who's face was still buried in his arms on the table. "Are you high?" She asks.
Kai tilts his head up and Daisy notices that the whites of his eyes were tinted red. His eyes trail over to the brownie pan on the table. Daisy quickly stands up, the chair making a loud noise as it scoot back with her.
"Where did y—" she scrambles for words as she looked up to face him. "How much did you eat?!" She asks.
Kai sniffles, his eyes slowly trailing over to her. "I think so."
Daisy's eyes widen, as she began to shake her head quickly. "How much did I eat?!" She whispered to herself, she turned to face him. "Why didn't you tell me?!" She shouts, dumbfounded that she was too out of it already to even taste it.
She quickly walked over to the counter and leaned against it, biting her fingernails as she quickly tried to calculate how much time she had until the extreme nausea kicked in. She very rarely took edibles in general because they made her too sick, and this was way more than what was recommended.
"Okay so says that's like... 25 grams of weed and..." Daisy started talking out loud. "And I haven't eaten anything else for a few hours so it'll hit harder and..." She tried to keep herself from panicking. "I have probably ten minutes until I get sick so—"
"You're changing colors." Kai says quietly, his eyes slowly trailing from the floor up to Daisy.
Daisy turned to face him, narrowing her eyebrows confusedly. "Maybe less..." She said quietly, she walked back over to him, examining the brownies and then him. "Kai." She began, trying to keep her cool. It took a moment for him to register that she even said his name but he slowly turned to face her. "Kai, what'd you put in the brownies?" She asked, speaking to him like he was a child.
A few seconds passed before Kai responded. "Yes." He says.
Daisy slowly began to nod, leaning back as she tried to gather her thoughts. "Great, great." She says. "So now I've eaten five brownies full of an unknown drug." She was practically talking to herself considering Kai was on a different planet right now.
Biting her nails anxiously, she stepped back as Kai slowly stood up from the table, his eyes glued on the hallway entry. "Why don't you just sit down?" Daisy suggested, gently grabbing his arms and trying to return him to his seat. Though controlling him would be useless, considering she has who knows how long before she's in the same position.
Kai's eyes were fully dilated, and glued on the hallway like there was something out there he wanted to see. His lips kept twitching in and out of a smile. Daisy glanced to the hallway, the back to him confusedly.
He turned to her. "Do you not see him?"
The words made a pit grow in her stomach. If drugs were not apart of this situation that sentence would've been much more terrifying than it already was. "Who?" Daisy asks.
"Michael Jackson?" He looks at her like she was crazy. "I'm a huge fan." Kai says sloppily as he turns back to the hallway.
Daisy shuts her eyes and exhales a frustrated breath, letting go of Kai's arms, to which he wandered into the hallway to carry on his conversation with 'Michael.'
She felt her breathing become more rapid by the second, she didn't know if it was the anticipation of what was to come or if was already making her nauseous. She leaned against the counter as she closed her eyes, covering her face with her hands like that would ease the nausea.
A deep, booming vibration sound rang through out the house, one that Daisy could feel in her core. She lifted her head up quickly, only for that same sound to boom again. Like the vibrations from giant bells being struck, but only the droning that followed.
Her eyes darted around the room quickly for the source of the sound. "Kai?" She spoke, but so quiet that she might've just said it in her head— she didn't know.
The more she looked around the room, the worse things got. Her vision started to go in and out of focus, almost like a camera adjusting to a new environment. What looked like rainbow reflections off a glass window started to grow on the walls. The wood of the kitchen cabinets began to warp.
Daisy felt her feet carrying her forward, though she didn't remember telling them too. As the vibrating sound still lingered in the air, the sound of waves crashing into a shore started to fill her ears.
She brought her hands up to the cabinets, where each line moved into an ocean of movement. Grazing her hand over the wood, she smiled as she watched the waves thunder against each other. The sound of the sea bringing comfort.
As soon as she began to close her eyes, to enjoy the feeling, that booming sound thudded against her again, louder and stronger. She jumped, bringing her hands up to her ears to muffle it as it vibrated through the house.
"Do you hear that?" Daisy spoke, but it felt like her voice was coming from somewhere else in the room. She spun around to where the voice came from but only saw the rest of the kitchen, where the cabinet's waves continued to stir. "Woah." She slowly began to chuckle, as she turned around again to find where her voice was coming from now.
"Here." Kai said from behind her.
Daisy spun around, flashing lights and colors twirling past her every time she moved. He stood next to her with his hand out, she glanced at it and back to him. "What is it?" Daisy asks, trying not to laugh at how his fingers slowly started to warp in and out, drooping down into the floor.
"A frog." Kai responds, his eyes glued on his open palm.
As the words came from his mouth the frog adjusted into her view. First it was only an outline on his skin but it slowly morphed into a frog, though it didn't look anatomically correct she couldn't recall what they were truly supposed to look like. It might not even be a frog but that didn't even cross her mind.
"Gross." Daisy felt a shiver of disgust roll through her as the small animal sat on Kai's hand.
He held it out closer to her and she jumped back, like she had just put on 3D glasses and his hand went through her eyes. "Kai!" She yelled, swatting at him.
Noticing the rainbow trail that followed her hand as she moved, she held it out in front of her, waving it back and fourth slowly with mesmerization.
Kai brought his hand out towards her again and she was quickly brought out of the trance the rainbow caused and was reminded of the frog in Kai's hand— or was it a spider? As she backed away quickly she glanced at the spider in his hand. Or was it a frog?
Before she could adjust to the surroundings they were in the living room, which was alive with tropical plants and the sound of waterfalls. "Just hold it." Kai laughed, his hand still out towards Daisy.
Daisy refocused her attention back to Kai, his eyes slowly beginning to melt into his cheeks. Daisy's mouth gapped open in fear as she stepped towards him, clutching his face and running her thumbs over his cheeks to stop the melting. "You can't—" She let out. "You can't let this happen." She nodded quickly.
"Then it'll all go up." Kai responded.
Daisy pulled away for a second and nodded sternly at him. "Exactly."
The sound of the waterfalls and birds chirping was suddenly interrupted by another loud bang that made Daisy jump, and plug her ears with her fingers until the lingering vibration died out.
Then their lips were connected, Kai's hands on both sides of her head and hers on his back. The feeling was so intense that it felt like they could never stop. Every where he touched the feeling lingered on her skin until she felt like his hands were all over her.
From an outside perspective, it was like they were a tangled mess of skin melting into one another, unable to rip apart the more they continued to kiss.
As Kai's back crashed onto the couch, he felt the both of them begin to sink into it. He wrapped his arms around her back, holding her tightly to his chest as he closed his eyes.
Then they were frozen, sinking into what felt like an eternal, slow plummet. He brought his hands to her hair, which at the moment the softest thing he'd ever touched, and combed through it with his fingers as she lay on his chest.
"Where do you think we are?" Daisy asked, as she clung to his shirt— trying not to picture how she'll look when he takes all of her hair.
Kai's eyes stay fixated above, where the textured ceiling grew faces and whispered to him. "Nowhere." Kai responded.
"Nowhere." Daisy repeated. "I don't want to be nowhere. I want to be somewhere."
"We're not allowed somewhere." Kai says, eyes slowly examining the whispering faces. "They didn't want us somewhere. They wanted us nowhere."
Daisy felt the familiar vibration in her chest, and shut her eyes as she anticipated the inevitable bang that would follow. When it hit, she was already up on her feet, clutching the sides of her head as she awaited the sound to come to a stop.
"Somewhere."
Daisy turned to where the voice came from, to see herself standing back in the kitchen. "Somewhere." Daisy spoke, making sure that the previous statement didn't come from her mouth. When she heard the words come from her lips she knew that the other Daisy must've said it.
She stepped forward, eyes glued on the brunette girl in the kitchen. The brunette girl who wore her same clothes, and appeared the same— except for the fact that she was a rotting, decaying corpse.
"Somewhere." It repeated.
"Help me." Daisy spoke, as she stride closer. Fear hadn't even crossed her mind. "I want to be where you are." She nodded eagerly.
Slowly the same vibrating feeling started to creep up and for some reason she got the notion that she didn't have much time. She spoke quickly, "You have to help me." Daisy said.
Bang. The sound rang loud, like a door slamming and shaking the entire house. She squeezed her eyes shut. It came from inside her head and she couldn't get in there to turn it off.
When it died down, she reopened her eyes to find an empty kitchen, although all of the lights were off.
Daisy quickly looked around, lights flashing through her eyes. She didn't even realize she had left the kitchen until she felt her hands touch the cold metal of the front door knob.
Bang. She screamed at the sudden noise, which only seemed to be getting louder.
Before she had a chance to adjust to anything she had twisted the doorknob and stepped inside to her bedroom, the bedroom of her house in Wayward. She shut the door behind her like there was someone behind her she was trying to keep out.
Pink, floral wallpaper lined the walls, along with countless cocker and movie posters. Her vanity sat in the corner as messy as ever, her bed unmade but looking more soft than anything she'd ever seen.
Daisy stepped forward, reaching out towards the soft blankets, but stopped when black, charred over burn marks seeped into the pink. She retracted her hands, looking around at the wallpaper than slowly dissolved at the hands of the fire. She widened her eyes as she felt the heat trickle closer to her
Bang.
Louder this time and almost painful. Daisy clutched onto her ears as best she could as she made her way back to the door she had just come from, reaching out towards the knob.
As she touched it, she quickly retracted her hand as it felt like it was one thousand degrees. Daisy spun back around, eyes darting around the slowly burning room.
She ran to the opposite door, which led to the hallway. Hesitating for a few seconds, she quickly opened the door and sprung out into the hallway.
She glanced around back down the hall, her feet carrying her towards Allison's bedroom door before she could even process the feeling. She wanted to open that door and yell at her for stealing her clothes. She wanted to open that door and tell her it was time for dinner. She wanted to open that door and see her big sister.
Bang.
It wasn't as painfully loud, instead it was close. Too close.
Daisy spun back around, following the sound of where the noise came from. Her eyes struggled to adjust to her surroundings, but when they did, they saw Susan, Daisy's mother standing at the bottom of the steps— facing the front door.
The first rational feeling Daisy had felt this whole trip hit her. She felt like she could crumble to the ground and cry. Her heart wouldn't stop skipping beats and she worried for the lasting effects that would bring.
Everything felt so familiar— felt so normal— felt so much like home.
"Mama?" Daisy's voice cracked.
Bang.
The sight filled Daisy with the most unexplainable horror she'd ever experienced. Susan had slammed her head into the front door so hard that Daisy could hear the split of her skull.
It was worse when she turned around, covered in blood with half of her head caved in. Daisy's eyes couldn't widen in horror any more than they already were.
She wanted to look away, she wanted to scream and run but her body wouldn't let her. It was like she was being forced to sit there and watch.
"I know what you did." Susan said.
Daisy trembled, her heart pounding so fast against her chest that she thought it might break bones. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out.
"I know what you did." Susan repeated, her own brain matter spilling onto the floor.
"Mom—" Daisy somehow mustered out, her voice cracking so hard it hurt.
"I know what you did!" Susan shouted, sprinting into motion and charging towards the stairs. So startled at the sudden movement, Daisy fell completely on her back. "I know what you did!" She screamed as she ran up the stairs.
Daisy squeezed her eyes shut and kicked her feet out as if that would somehow protect herself. She gasped for the breath that was knocked from her chest from the fall. In between gasps she felt herself crying. Sobbing and shaking her head as she heard her mother scream. "I'm sorry!" Daisy cried. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" As she wailed, her chest rattled against her body so hard that she considered that she might be convulsing. "I'm sorry!" She kept yelling to drown out the sounds of her mother's screams, the most terrible thing she'd ever heard.
She felt hands grab onto her arms, more screams ripping from her throat as she awaited her fate.
Kai held onto her, trying to keep her as still as possible as she jerked against him, screaming and kicking. "It's me, it's me." He said, watching her with wide eyes.
She squirmed around so hard she was cutting open her own legs and bare feet on the hard concrete of the road they sat in the middle of.
"Daisy!" Kai shouted over her repeated pleads of apologies.
Her eyes shot open, the lingering screams dying out as she latched onto his arms, kicking at whatever she was seeing until she came to.
She saw the blue sky first, the bright, warm sun, and then the surrounding buildings. The green grass and traffic lights. She felt the rough concrete beneath her body, then the coming pain of the scraps on her legs, and then the feel of Kai's arms around her.
Panting heavily, almost choking on every inhale, she slowly turned, still clung onto him as he sat holding her. His eyes were wide and confused, darting in between hers as she slowly readjusted. "I've been looking for you for hours." He says.
Daisy took in his face. That normalcy she was feeling just a second ago was nothing but a hallucination, because this was real. And no one could convince her otherwise.
Her eyes then took in the other surroundings, no burning house, no sister's bedroom, no Mom. They were sat in the middle of an intersection which would usually be bustling with cars.
"I'm sorry." The words fell from her lips like they were lingering inside, waiting for her to open her mouth to come out.
Kai narrowed his eyebrows at her, but didn't ask any questions. "It's over now." He nodded firmly.
Daisy couldn't get the image of her mom out of her mind. She probably never would. She swallowed harshly, slowly catching her breath as she turned to face Kai. "What the hell did you put in those brownies?"
a/n
i'm back!
i have ~once again~ disappeared w no update for a fat minute. raise your hand if you're not surprised! 🙋♀️
i do have a good excuse this time if u didn't see my message i've been in the hospital🥳 ya girl has Arrhythmia and had a lil scare but i'm good now! no worries
i hope u enjoyed this chapter, it was a little different than usual updates and i know it was a filled chapter so i'm sorry
:( pls lmk what u think tho
ALSO ???? thank you all for all of the edits and fan art i'm ?? crying ??? love them so much i'll link them all here:
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMd5M3GHE/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdHhYu2X/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdHhh1PX/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdHhJG9F/
https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMdHhMQLb/
https://youtu.be/09ee25Ung2I
seriously tho thank u so much for all this i dONT DESERVE YALL ❤️❤️❤️
see u soon!
jane