"Hello, sweetheart," Edward greeted his daughter when he welcomed Juliette into his room. They were meeting up for dinner tonight. "How was the excursion?"
"Hi." Juliette showed a small smile. "It was horrible but fine. Everyone had fun, so that is what counts." She sat down on the bed end. "Bloody hell."
Edward frowned, but decided to stay silent. He knew her story, so staying silent would be the best for now. "But you good?"
Juliette shrugged. "You?"
"I'm good," he replied. "But what's wrong?" He crossed his arms in front of his chest, he was worried.
"Just have a bad day, but that won't ruin our dinner." She ran her hand through her hair and widely smiled. "I've been waiting for this all week long."
"Hmm-hmm," Edward nodded, it was suspicious, but he wasn't here to push her to open up. "Give me five minutes, I will do my hair." He walked back to the bathroom. "Alfie just called," he continued. "He said he wants to steal Frenky from you."
She snorted. "Adorable." Frenky was staying over at her brother's during the weekends Juliette was working abroad. "That will not happen, mate." She looked at her phone, checking some messages.
"It's funny how attached he is to Frenk."
"Alf always says he stops by to see me, but deep down, we all know it is because of Frenk. I'm happy they are best mates," she admitted.
"That's true." There was silence for a few minutes. "Julie, I want to address something." Edward walked out of the bathroom and looked at his daughter, who was looking questionably at him. "And it's totally fine if you do it, just remember it is bad for you and very addictive. But I can't give you wrong, I've done it for years as well."
Juliette slowly nodded, not understanding where he was talking about. "Yes?" She put her phone away.
"I saw you smoke again." Edward sat down on the bed next to her. "And you're a grown woman, so do whatever you want to do. However, you have a past with those things. So are you smoking because you're not feeling well or just because of why not?"
"Dad..."
"I'm not angry with you, far from that. I'm just curious. If it is because you aren't feeling well, you really have to tell me. I can't smell if something's wrong." He was scanning Juliette's face; she was hiding something. "I know that you can't see Pierre anymore, sweetheart. You don't have to hide that for the world..."
She looked away, tightening her jaw. The muscles in her chin started to tremble like a child; she had to fight against the tears. "I'm sorry," she whispered.
"Darling," Edward softly said and wrapped his arm around Juliette. "Don't be sorry. It's okay." He pressed a kiss on her hair.
"I had to do something bad," she breathed. Juliette's eyes quickly became glazed with a glassy layer of tears. She refused to cry; she was weak. "Without hurting someone." She instead chose to stare at the chair in front of her. "I don't understand it."
"I know..." He swallowed hard, it was difficult to see your daughter struggle as a father.
"I don't understand why everyone is making a big deal of this. We both have a million contracts with our teams, F1 and FIA, to not share anything. It seems logical to me our relationship won't do any harm. I probably would react the same at first, but there are contracts, n.d.a.'s. And if I would share information, or Pierre, we would all notice it by now." As Juliette blinked, the tears dripped from her eyelids and slid down her face. Edward nodded. "There are so many relationships between teams, more than people know. What about us?"
"People have no idea who the people behind the drivers are."
"But those people are fans. Teams know you, they know you have a daughter working at Mercedes. We have more family members working in motorsports, and that doesn't matter to anyone. Nobody knows how Pierre and I met in the first place. Yes, we started dating while working in F1, but it all started back at high school." Juliette bit her lip tightly in an attempt to hide any sound that wanted to escape from her mouth.
Edward always knew what to say, but he was speechless. He understood the bosses on this situation, he had read the statements of his own team with strong arguments. He also understood Juliette, perhaps more than the statements from the teams.
"I failed." An ugly sound left her mouth, and she gasped for air. The tears came out violently.
"You didn't fail," Edward said. "You are so strong, you have been fighting for everything. Look where you are right now, you made it. You proved everyone wrong who said you wouldn't make it."
She was shaking her head. "I failed, dad. I may have succeeded in proving people wrong and removing the toxic people out of my life, but I...I removed the right people too. I let people down." Juliette squeezed her eyes closed. "I should've talked to Sara, I should have apologised. I hurt her so much. I should've told someone about what happened in my life, so many people offered help. Do you know how many times Anthoine has begged me to make it up with Pierre and Sara?" She looked back at her dad. "A billion times. I never listened to him, because I was scared Pierre and Sara would hate me. And now... There will never be the four of us ever again." Her voice cracked, and she broke into tears again.
Edward wrapped his arms tightly around his daughter.
"I...Sara...We..."
"Easy, calm down. It's alright," he whispered. "Breath, Julie."
She inhaled, her breath was shaky, and she exhaled.
"Good."
"Anthoine... he..." Juliette took a deep breath. "I miss Anthoine so much. We planned a dinner after Spa, that Sunday evening. I recently found out he planned that dinner with Pierre and Sara as well, same time, same place. You would think he double booked it, but this was his plan to get us all together. Anthoine planned a dinner with the four of us, that sneaky bastard tried to get us back together." Juliette tightly held her dad. "And instead of doing the one thing Anthoine wanted, I'm still arguing with Sara, losing Pierre again - causing more trouble for him, because I had to be in F1 to piss off maman. What would have happened if I didn't get into F1? Perhaps I got back in touch with Pierre and Sara again, maybe not. I lost Sara, Anthoine and Pierre. It's my fault all over again."
"It's not your fault, absolutely not." He pulled back and cupped her face in his hands. "This isn't your fault."
"It is," Juliette shot back.
Edward wiped away the tears with his thumbs. "It is not, Juliette."
"Then why have I lost Pierre again? Because I work in F1, what is his sport. It is my fault I did this. I caused a shit load of trouble in Mercedes, in Toto Rosso, in Red Bull, in F1. If I wasn't here, it wouldn't have happened."
"You cannot control love, Juliette. I know you, I know Pierre, and you will be fighting for what you want."
Juliette shook her head and blinked the tears away. "I'm quitting."
"Don't say that." It broke his heart. "They're only doing this because Mercedes is too quick. This isn't about you, nor Pierre, this is about Mercedes. Don't quit, Julie. I'm sorry to say this, but quitting for Pierre because you're dating for a few months, isn't it. If you are meant to be together, you will find your way back to each other eventually."
"I know that, dad." She sniffed. "But it's Pierre," she whispered. "He called you... Pierre made that call. And if he didn't do that... I..." She took a deep breath. "I know how short life can be as well. I can name so many examples. I don't want to live to follow the rules, to be the perfect person. I want to live, I want to enjoy life and just follow my own rules. And now...now I am forced to follow the rules I don't want to follow."
Juliette and Edward had a small conversation about the situation. How harsh it sounded, Juliette had to move on once again. She decided to let go of her work for a few days, the weekend, for example. Usually, the team would spend it together, have fun, but Juliette decided to take a step back for this weekend; just to focus on herself. She could have breakdowns without letting her team down.
"This is probably the worst thing a dad can say," Edward said and gave Juliette a tissue. "But the boys have found an English pub in the town, and maybe we should go there after dinner? To drink some beers and get pissed?" The last sentence was soft, almost doubting whether he should've said it or not
She nodded. "Absolutely." Juliette walked to the mirror and wiped away the makeup stains under her eyes. "I was planning to get drunk anyway."
"Hey, it will be alright, yeh?" Edward gave her a warm smile. "You're strong." Juliette leaned in for a hug; she will always be his little girl. "You two will find a way."
"I love you, dad." Her dad was all she needed now.
"I love you too, sweetheart."
☐
"Do I look good?" Delilah asked and fixed her t-shirt. "I'm so fucking excited; I'm shaking. But this colour isn't it."
Liam widely smiled, he almost looked proud. "You look beautiful," he said and gave her a nod.
"Thank you," Delilah shyly said and looked away.
Peter and Juliette were making eye contact, Juliette wasn't the only one who saw this romance happening. Juliette nodded, impressed and ran her hand through her hair. Her eyes were gliding over the people; they made it, Lewis made it. Everyone was wearing the turquoise t-shirt, the shirt of the winners.
For the sixth time, Lewis Hamilton was the world champion.
"Alright, everybody! Can we squeeze ourselves in, please!" The photographer of Mercedes was waiting for everyone to fit in the winning photo with the team. "More, more!"
"This is so chaotic," Juliette smirked and squeezed herself more into the group of people. "This is...very close." People squeezed themselves in as well. She looked at Peter, who was standing next to her.
"This is cosy," Peter replied sarcastically and put his hand on Juliette's upper back, just to give her more space and support she needed.
Delilah was standing against Juliette. "I swear, if someone is farting right now... I will murder someone."
Juliette snorted. "I would love to help."
"Let's do it then."
"Smile!" The photographer raised his camera, followed by more photographers. Everyone followed his instructions while shooting the photos. "We are the champion!"
Everybody raised their arms and happily cheered; they did it this year. Someone started to spray with champagne, something that made everybody step away.
A careful smile grew on Pierre's lips when he saw how the Mercedes team celebrated their win in the championship. It was another win, but they deserved it. His eyes fell on one woman in particular: Juliette. She was smiling, it was a genuine smile; she earned all of this.
"Ready to go?" Pyry asked Pierre. "Or do you want to congratulate them?"
"Neh, let's go," Pierre replied and cleared his throat. "I don't think it would be a good idea to talk to them." He pressed his lips into a thin line and stepped back into his garage box. "I will see you later this week. Good evening!" He waved at his team, who all said goodbye to him before he left.
Pyry was searching for his pass. "How are you feeling?"
"Shit race, shit feelings..." Pierre didn't want to appear negative, but it was all he could think of now. "Let's just focus on the next one," he breathed and put his backpack on this back.
"It will get better, I promise."
"Thank you." Pierre looked around the paddock; everyone was packing, or celebrating.
When he and Pyry were near the exit, Mercedes people left their garage and entered the paddock. Everyone looked happy. Pierre was unnoticeable scanning the people, like he was hoping to see that one person. He did. Juliette was busy talking to Delilah and someone else Pierre didn't know, they were all smiling. Until Juliette found Pierre's eyes. Her face straightened, and she looked away.
"Congrats on the win," Pierre politely said and gave the team a nod.
"Thanks, man," someone replied.
When Pierre passed the group, Juliette passed him. His lips parted, and he followed her by turning his head along with her direction. Juliette looked up, their looks crossed again. "Bravo, Jul..." He doubted whether he should say her nickname or full name; he didn't know what the correct use in this situation was. "...iette."
"Merci, Pierre," Juliette softly replied.
"You did an amazing job, Juliette," Pyry added, he got to know her over the weeks, and he knew Juliette was happy with the win.
"Thank you, Pyry." She gave him a nod and continued walking with the group, away from Pierre and Pyry.
The walk to the car was silent on the outside, but a trillion thoughts were flying through Pierre's mind. Since that conversation, things weren't the same anymore. Pierre had to admit he wasn't feeling himself anymore; a part of him was gone. There were moments he wanted to be with Juliette, celebrate her win as a race engineer, go on a date he originally planned, celebrate this win...
Pierre stepped into the car. "She doesn't look good," he blurted and felt the tears flow into his eyes. He closed the door and put on his seatbelt. "She..." He shook his head. "I just want to be with her."
"I know, I'm sorry," Pyry softly mentioned and started the engine of the car.
"I don't want to be selfish, but I finally got her back. We finally cleared the past, and we moved on. Now I lost her again, because we are forced to." Pierre closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "I'm close to the point where I just don't care anymore. Nothing seems to work this year, might just finish it bad as well, and perhaps 2020 will be better." It was silence. "Or not. Not surprised if it won't be."
"It won't be that bad," Pyry mentioned and drove away from the track. "Have you signed a contract or anything that says you and Juliette can't see each other anymore?"
"No."
"There you go, it isn't documented. Where are you waiting for?"
Pierre scoffed and opened his eyes to look at Pyry. "I wish it sounded this easy... It doesn't matter where I am, people are keeping an eye on me, just to make sure I am not in the same room as Jules. It may not be documented, but I know the consequences by now. And if I decide to put my job on the line, I put her job on the line as well. She has fought for her job, I'm not taking this risk." Pierre groaned, annoyed. "Jules would actually do this."
Pyry sighed, he was thinking of something that would help them both.
"You know, Jules is one of the few who supported me during the switch. When she came back into my life, she supported me. She was my person after Anthoine passed away. Jules was there for me when I needed her the most. I don't know what would've happened to me if she wasn't there. I have to watch her work from a distance, and I can't even congratulate her on her win and the team's win. I see things are wrong. I just want to go to her and say everything will be fine, but it won't be." His heart was broken, more than it was ever before. "Merde!"