MICHAEL
With each passing day and as weeks crawl by, she stacks her walls much higher than when I first met her. I remember her being stubborn because she likes to do things her way however, it always gets the job done. She perseveres to maintain this perfect image because she wants to be perceived as trustworthy and credible. I saw all of that, and I manage to get through to her and saw the real her; the most fragile flower I ever caressed in my arms.
But the rose that is so precious and perfect grew thorns that prick you if you don't handle it with care.
I saw the way she distanced herself from her world, even if she pretended to be working her projects and on my ranch. She lost weight, and the spark in her eyes that I see every morning when I wake up became dull and dreary. She greets me with the fakest smile at the breakfast table and climbs up the stairs with sluggishness after a meal.
I would find her almost asleep every time I peek at her room to give her an afternoon snack, a rare occurrence since she's the type of person to be awake all day because of her duties at work.
On some nights, when I really feel the need to give her an embrace, my feet get stuck in front of her door as I hear her faint cries that she tries to bury onto the pillow. In the morning, it's no surprise to see her puffy eyes and cheeks, and sometimes on failed attempts, she tries to conceal her swollen under eyes with make-up.
I can't imagine the pain Mia is feeling because I haven't lost a parent and the fact that she only has one her entire life makes it even harder for her to accept, even for me, to grasp the reality she's facing.
I saw how her mother really cared for her daughter, as she told me some stories when she was a child when Mia was busy cooking dinner for us. She really loved her only child, and she's willing to do everything for her. Sadly, she's not here to keep her promise, but I am here to fulfill it for her.
I vividly remember her kind words to me when I got a small amount of alone time with her.
"My Amelia, she's been through so much, she's been through many heartaches," she said quickly gasping for air as she reaches for my hand and gently held it, which I took.
"But you're the only one who I saw had real and pure intentions for her," my heart warmed with her kind words.
"Protect her, for my sake," she quietly said and I squeezed her hand gently and nodded, saying yes to a promise.
Her words repeatedly replayed in those sleepless nights that I worry for her. No matter what I do, or even make attempts to lift some weight off of her shoulder, she's putting it back to where it belongs. Now I have no idea what to do except to worry for her whole being, considering that she has an underlying condition she has yet to disclose to me.
It's unfortunate for me not to find her on the patio this morning but I already know where she is when she's not here. I took the path leading to the studio and found the door ajar. When I took a peek, a piano melody of a song I immediately recognized filled my ears. Her figure hovers the piano and the fingers on her right hand slowly press down the chords as she plays Ain't No Sunshine while she held her steaming coffee on her left.
As I eyed her from the padded door, I cannot help but still admire her for her beauty and resilience. It is still a hard time for her and that I do know, but I do not know how to help her in the littlest way I can. I am afraid that the help I offer can come off as invasive for her, and burdening her further is not my intention.
I slowly approached her as I snake both my hands around her waist, hugging her from behind. I rested the side of my head to her temples as she presses her back against my chest.
"Good morning, my angel," I whispered in her ear, kissing her cheeks.
"Why are you up early?" she questions as she holds my hand with her free one.
"I haven't slept yet," I joked and she slaps my hands knowing that I was just messing around.
"I'm kidding. I just felt the need to wake up early. Who knew I would wake up to this beauty," I said and earned a slight smile from her. She stayed silent for a while and I did too. Maybe she needed a moment and I gave that to her. My embrace is the least that I could give.
I tightened my embrace and kissed her shoulder, letting her know that I am here for her.
"How are you, Mia," I cautiously asked and she sighed deeply.
"I've seen better days," she plainly replied.
"You know you can tell me anything, right?" I spoke.
"I know, Michael," she turns around and sets her coffee mug on top of the piano. She looks at me with her soft and tired eyes and it regains its vibrance as she deeply bores it onto mine.
She framed my face with both her hand as her thumb grazes over my cheek. "Thank you, Michael. For understanding," she didn't need to say another word to comprehend the message she's trying to relay. I know it's been difficult for her to express her feelings in the last couple of weeks but this is the first step for her that I am willing to accept on any day.
"No worries, my angel. You know I'm always here for you," I replied and placed my hands on her waist. She wasted no time and hugged me tightly as I open my arms wide. Her tender embrace meant something that needed not to be said. Even though I am already anxious and worried for her, I know this is what she needed now. After everything she went through, she deserves this tight embrace that would make her feel safe and secure.
She pulls away and finds my hand, holding it with the most sincere touch. "I forgot to tell you, Jaz is coming over to pick me up. I just have some uh- work to do. And I have to pick up something from my apartment," she told me.
"Only if Steven is with you," I told her in a serious yet light tone.
"I already talked to Steven, and he's very much willing to accompany us," she assured.
"Good," I said and kissed her forehead. "Don't stay out too late okay?"
"It will probably just take the whole afternoon. If not, then I'll be back before dinner," she said as she fiddles with my fingers that lightens my heart.
"Alright then. Just be careful okay?" she nodded slightly and gave me a small smile that she forced herself to give. She's clearly still heartbroken.
"I'll give you time to prepare. You can go upstairs or would like to join me for breakfast?" I offered.
"Breakfast sounds wonderful," she said and deeply sighed as I pulled her closer to me and we made our way to the kitchen
---
I cooked some french toasts, the one I cooked for her while I was in her apartment back when Steven forgot to pick me up at the office. I made it in an attempt to bring back some kind of nostalgia to her but she just poked the strawberries on her plate and eventually eating them when she noticed that I am staring.
She has been quiet throughout breakfast and the only sound filling in the room are the birds chirping from the outside. She didn't utter a word until she excused herself with her finished plate and went upstairs to get ready for her day.
Mother appeared beside me while I was fixing the plate I used. She tapped me on the shoulder and I kissed her cheek.
"Morning, mother," I said.
"Good morning, son," she replied and took a seat on the dinner table.
"Do you want breakfast?" I asked her, holding the used plate in my right hand.
"Did you made Amelia one?" she asked me.
"I did, she just finished. She's upstairs getting ready 'cause she has somewhere to be," I sighed.
"Well, why don't you fix me a plate, dear," she spoke with a comforting smile.
"Make that two, dearest brother," Janet spoke as she skips happily towards the dining area.
As I was cooking, Janet approached the refrigerator on my left, pulling out a pitcher of orange juice and taking put two glasses from the cupboard.
"What's with the long face?" she questioned as she pours the juice into their respective glasses.
"I don't know, Jan," I sighed as I flipped the last toast and wait for it to cook.
"Did you and Mia fight?" she asked as she raised her eyebrows at me.
"No, of course not!" I contested.
"Then why do you look like you've been rejected," she said and took a sip of her juice.
"I just- I don't know, Dunk. I think I need help," I told her and put the remaining toast on the plate together with some tiny, fresh fruits.
I took both of the plates while Jan carried both glasses as we made our way into the dining area. I set down the plate for mother and gave the other plate to my starving sister.
"Thank you, dear," mother said as she places a napkin on her lap.
"Mike said he needed some help," Jan said to mother as she pokes the fruits and eagerly fed them into her mouth.
"What kind of help, son?"
I cleared my throat as I think of the things I needed help with while they patiently stared at me, waiting for my answer. "Well, I need advice rather than help,"
"Ask away," mother said as she continues to munch down to my cooking.
"I'm really worried about Mia. I mean I've tried everything that I know to cheer her up, but it seems like nothing is working," I heavily exhaled.
"You know what she needs?" Jan spoke suddenly. "Space," she continued and took a bite out of the toast.
"Wha- what do you mean space? I don't-"
"Your sister's right, son," mother agreed as Jan shrugs.
"I don't understand," I whispered in confusion.
"Michael, Mia needs time to grieve and heal. She's not going to be able to do that if you're constantly in her space," mother said and held my hand.
"I know you deeply care for her, son. We are too. But she already knows that you're there for her. Give her the space she needs for her to grieve. When the time comes that she's ready to talk about it, she'll ask for your support and that's when you come in,"
I carefully thought about what mother had said and realized that maybe I've been pestering her to be okay instantly that I have forgotten to give her time to grieve.
"So, do I not talk to her? Or..."
"No, I'm not saying that dear. Just give her time, she'll come around eventually,"
"Basically what mother is trying to say is just give her time for herself. It's already hard for her to lose the only person dear to her, it won't help if you keep pressuring her to be okay when she's not," Janet said as she raises her glass and drank the contents.
"Well you're not wrong there," I pondered as they continue to eat their food.
Mia is coming down the stairs in a slight hurry in my peripheral vision, carrying her belonging for work. I excused myself from the both of them and rushed towards her. She jumped just as I was about to approach her, obviously in surprise.
"Hey, you alright?" I held out my hand to keep her from falling the remaining step of the stair.
"Hhmm?" she hummed absentmindedly. "Oh, yeah. Of course, I'm okay," she weakly smiled at me and held my hand as she steps down.
"You're leaving now?" I asked her as I carry her things for her.
"Yeah, Jaz called me to meet her at the office instead," she said as we walked out to the porch where Steven is already waiting outside.
"Do you want me to join you? I have nothing planned for the day, I can-"
"There's no need, Michael," she slightly smiled. "I'll just do some work that was left unattended. Plus, the media might be looking for you," she continued.
"The media?"
"Yes, the media. I mean, you're Michael Jackson. Everyone's curious what you're doing or who you're with," she stated and she can never be more right. As minutes pass by, the more it makes sense.
"I guess you're right," I agreed with a slight frown.
"Just rest for today, do whatever you want. Write songs or sing to your heart's content," she spoke. The way she phrased that sentence seems like she needed it more than I do.
"Okay, okay," I giggled and gave her a tight embrace. She hugged me back and gave me a slight peck on the cheek when she pulled away.
"Have a nice day, okay? Be careful,"
"I will. You have a great day too. Tell Janet and Katherine that I'm sorry if I can't join them for breakfast,"
"Don't worry about them, they'll understand," I told her as I grabbed her hand and kissed the back of it. "Now go and be amazing," I said to her and successfully earning a chuckle.
I walked with her towards the car as Steven opens it for her and gave her her things once she's inside. I eyed Stephen from the opposite side and he nodded right away as he already understood its meaning.
I waved to Mia as the car pulled up in front of the gates of Hayvenhurst. I feel uncertain the minute the car disappeared from my sight, but the idea of her coming back brings comfort to the storm inside my head.
---
To my mother's surprise and my sister's as well, I manage to rest properly today. Partly the reason why was because I want to see Mia when I wake up. I did some business work when she left, reviewed the transcript of Drake's interrogation, and scribbled down some song ideas, but my mind was exhausted enough to focus.
When I descended the stairs, Janet was sprawled on the couch watching television and eating a bowl of popcorn. The smell of rosemary and meat roasting snagged my attention and that's where I found mother busying herself with another gorgeous meal.
The once bright skies were already set in indigo and splashes of orange. The crisp, cold breeze was ever-present, yet there is still no signs of Mia's presence. I slightly panicked but I checked the time and it was just six-thirty in the evening. Maybe they're on their way home.
I joined my sister and scooped a handful of popcorn from her bowl. As we accompany each other, eating the popcorn in my hands faster than expected, a knock on the door was heard.
I immediately stood up and dusted my hands to get rid of excess salt. As I happily approach the door to greet my angel, my enthusiasm was instantly replaced with hatred and exasperation.
"You must really have a thick skull to show yourself here again"