"So..." Hollis drawled, bringing my attention away from the woman who was walking back across the bar to join her friend, "Sloane, eh?"
Acting oblivious to his ribbing, I lifted my drink and took a sip. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't play clueless with me, man. You may have moved away to become a big hockey hotshot who can pick up any woman he wants, but I remember when you had quite a thing for her—" He nodded toward Sloane's table. "—back in high school."
"Except she was dating the student council president and was totally out of my league," I countered, not denying the fact. Because he was right. Back when we'd been younger, I'd harboured a crush on my smart, attractive friend, even as we drifted into different social circles once junior year hit.
"Not anymore though."
I huffed out a laugh. "Just because I've made a name for myself as an athlete, it doesn't mean I can get any woman I want."
"Oh yeah?" Lifting a brow, he asked, "When was the last time you asked someone out and got rejected?" When a few seconds passed without an answer, his features turned smug. "I rest my case. Plus, if whatever just happened between you two is anything to go by, I'd say she's into you."
I rolled my eyes. "That doesn't mean she's looking to date."
"True," he said. "Though honestly, I'm kind of surprised you never made a move during the past couple summers."
"Last summer she was going through a lot with her family," I explained, "but otherwise, I know I'm not sticking around. And when I'm here, I try my best to stay out of the town's gossip line."
"And now?"
"Now I'm in charge of a six-year-old." I downed the little whisky that remained in my glass. "I think I need to adjust to that and figure out what the hell I'm going to do once the season starts back up before thinking about a relationship."
"Who said anything about a relationship?" he asked. I shot him a flat look and he held up his hands in mock surrender. "All I'm saying is that you're under a lot of stress right now, dealing with the hand you were dealt, so nobody would blame you for wanting a release."
And though I knew he had a point, I'd always seen Sloane as the relationship-type. She cared for her family, was driven, and had the beautiful girl-next-door vibe going on. It was alluring, that was for sure, and while there was part of me that wanted to say 'screw it' and ask her out, I knew I wasn't the best bet right now.
It was also ironic that, after watching my buddies fall in love over the last couple of years, I'd been thinking more about settling down. That was, until Liam had passed. Suddenly my priorities had shifted, and while the perfect woman may have been sitting just a few feet away, I couldn't find the courage to ask her out.
At least not in that moment.
I stood up from my stool and Hollis tried to back pedal. "Hey, man. Sorry if I overstepped—"
"Don't worry about it," I said, waving him off. "It's just getting late, and I promised Bowen I'd pick him up early tomorrow from my parents and take him bike riding." Taking my wallet out of my pocket, I asked, "How much do I owe you?"
He grabbed my empty glass and said, "Fifteen."
Pulling a twenty out, I handed it to him. "Keep the change. I'll see you around."
Walking toward the door, I paused before leaving, throwing a look over my shoulder to zero in on the back booth. Sloane's head was thrown back as she laughed at something one of her friends said, and as though she felt my eyes on her, her head turned so that her gaze met mine. I watched as her expression softened and she raised her glass in acknowledgement.
Offering her a smile in return, I turned away, wishing I wasn't heading home alone.
***
Over the next week I was simply a man trying to keep his head above water. I took the parenting thing day by day, and while I didn't have to call in my own parents as reinforcements, I was grateful when they offered their support. Taking Bowen out for lunch one day, playing catch with him in the backyard while I took a call with my agent, hosting a family dinner. They were simple things, but they lifted a marginal amount of stress off my shoulders, even if the reprieve was temporary.
It also didn't escape me that, while it likely wasn't healthy, I was almost waiting for Bowen to have another breakdown. When we went fishing, built sandcastles on the beach, or were watching cartoons, there was a part of me bracing for it. Even at night, it took me ages to fall asleep myself as worry coursed through my veins that he'd have a nightmare.
And every morning the cycle started again, though I tried my darndest to cloak my features so nobody saw the cogs in my brain constantly whirring.
"What are we going to do today?" Bowen asked on a Monday morning around the pancakes he'd stuffed into his mouth.
I shot him a knowing look over my shoulder as I cleaned the dirty dishes. "Why don't you swallow first," I said, shooting him a knowing look over my shoulder as I cleaned the dirty dishes. It was then that I also saw Scout, who'd already eaten, wagging his tail happily as he watched Bowen eat—which was no surprise, considering that since we'd arrived, he'd more or less become a shadow to my nephew. "And then tell me what you'd like to do. I'm up for anything."
"Sorry." He sheepishly covered his mouth with his hand as he chewed his breakfast and swallowed. His eyes then brightened, and I knew an idea had hit him. "What about canoeing? Dad bought me a paddle last year and everything."
Scout's accompanying bark signified that he liked that idea.
I, however, turned away from him at the mention of Liam, because while he seemed to be dropping both him and Thea into casual conversations over the last week, the wound in my own heart was still too fresh. "Sounds good, kid," I said, and heard him yelp in excitement. It was then that my cell rang, and I dried my hands off on the kitchen towel. "Why don't you go get dressed and brush your teeth while I take this, then we can head out."
"Okay," he replied excitedly, climbing down out of his chair before heading upstairs with my dog hot on his heels.
Pulling my phone from my pocket, I saw it was Derrick calling—my former teammate and one of my best friends—and accepted the call.
"Hey, man."
"Ryan—" Derrick breathed a sigh of relief through the phone "—finally. Do you know how long I've been trying to reach you for?"
I knew. There were at least ten missed calls from him in my phone over the last week, with an equal number of voicemails. I hadn't answered any of them, however, because I hadn't really known what to say.
"Sorry," I said, dragging a hand down my face as I leaned back against the counter, "I've just had a lot going on out here."
"I can imagine," he replied, the heaviness of emotion weighing down the words. "I wish I could've made it out for the funeral. To be there for you and help lessen the load you and your family likely had to bear."
I mustered the smallest of smiles, because I knew he was serious. After Liam, Derrick was the person I was closest to. From the moment we met, we'd bonded over hockey and so much more. From teammates to roommates to now being rivals on the ice and living on opposite sides of the country, we'd built a connection as strong as if we were brothers.
"I appreciate it."
"Are you sticking around for the summer then? To be with your family?"
Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back until it rested against the cupboard. So far, the only people outside of Neptune Bay who knew about my new situation were my agent and Coach Davidson. Both were sworn to secrecy as I figured out my shit, but I knew I couldn't keep it for Derrick any longer.
"Yeah," I trailed off slowly, before letting the rest out. "But that's not the only reason."
I could feel his confusion through the line, with a prolonged pause filling the silence. "What do you mean?"
"Liam and Thea had a will, and they left me as the legal guardian to Bowen," I said matter-of-factly. The words were easier to say now, after having nearly two weeks to digest the information myself, but the weight and responsibility they held still felt somewhat foreign to me.
"Holy shit."
"Oh, and they left me the house too."
I couldn't see his reaction, but from the worried "what's going on" I heard in the background, likely from his girlfriend, Lia, I could imagine his mouth falling open and eyes bulging in shock.
"Dude, that's... intense," he said.
"You're telling me."
"Who else knows?"
"Other than the people around town here? Just my agent and Coach."
"Damn." He whistled. "So, what you're telling me is that you returned to your hometown to be with your family after Liam's death, only to find out that it's now your legal responsibility to care for your nephew—" I let loose a small chuckle when I heard Lia's voice start questioning Derrick, only for him to say he'd explain later. "—and somehow the hockey blogs haven't sniffed this news out yet?"
Honestly, it surprised me too, considering the eyes that'd been on me after my abrupt overtime absence in our Game 7 loss.
"Correct."
"That's impressive," he admitted, "but are you doing okay? Do you want me to drive up and help out? I'm in Boston for the summer and staying at Lia's, so if you need the help, or just the company, I'm around."
"I appreciate it," I replied, "but I think I'm okay. For now at least. My parents are helping out, and Sloane, a childhood friend of mine, has been a big help."
"Back it up there. Does this childhood friend happen to be single? Attractive?"
I rolled my eyes. "No comment."
"You sly dog," he mused. "Are you actually hooking up with this woman? Sloane?"
"Nobody is hooking up with anybody."
"But you want to."
"I don't know if that matters so much right now," I said. And it was the truth, despite the pull of chemistry that was starting to grow stronger and stronger each time we happened into one another's orbits. "Bowen's gotta be my first priority, and I have to think about what's going to happen once summer comes to an end."
"Shit, yeah. Do you have any idea what you're going to do when you come back for training camp? Or, uh, are you thinking of going another direction?"
I knew immediately what he was referring to. The big R. Retirement.
The fact that the word had never crossed my mind over the course of my entire career until the last couple of weeks terrified me. Hockey had been at the center of my life for so long, and while I knew eventually it'd be time to hang up the skates, I wasn't ready to do that just yet. Even with my new circumstances.
I raked my fingers through my hair. "I honestly don't know."
"Well, I don't exactly have much to offer in that department, but I'm sure if you reached out to one of the guys with kids on the team—like Simmons—and explained your situation, he could give you some advice."
"I know, but it's not exactly the same thing, is it? I mean, he's got Aimee to take care of their kid while he's away. I won't have that."
"She's not a stay-at-home mom though," he pointed out. "I remember hearing him talk about a nanny they used when their daughter was younger. They could give you some tips or connect you with the person they hired."
"I'll think about it," I replied. "I just want to do what's best for Bowen."
"And you will."
The corners of my mouth twitched. "Thanks for the vote of confidence." It was then that I heard the scurrying of two sets of feet—one human and one belonging to an animal—returning downstairs. "Hey man, I've got to go. I'm taking Bowen out canoeing."
The child and dog in question rounded the corner, grinning and ready to go, and I held up my hand to tell them to hold on for one second.
"All good. Thanks for finally picking up the phone," he drawled. "Clearly you have a lot going on at the moment, but just remember that I'm here to talk if you need it."
"I will."
"Good. Then I'll talk to you later."
"Later."
Hanging up, my attention fell to the two rascals waiting patiently in front of me. "So, who's ready to go canoeing?"
"Me! Me! Me!" Bowen exclaimed, bouncing up and down as Scout barked happily.
Laughing, I ruffled his hair. "Great, now how about you show me where the canoe is stored?"
Taking my hand, he gleefully started pulling me toward the front door, presumably to the garage. At least for the afternoon, I would enjoy a simple day out on the water with the two of them. Pushing the looming decisions I'd have to make to the back of my mind and focusing on the here and now.
a/n: remember to vote and leave your comments below!