Dmitri Belikov
Life at Court was boring. That's the only way I could describe it as, without a charge, life for a Dhampir was quite silent. I didn't know what to do with myself, there was only so much time I could spend at the gym and having dinner with my friends. However, everyone who saw me who were outside of my friends, would have thought I was beyond happy, always smiling at those who passed me, happy to spar with recently graduated guardians. But I wasn't happy not at all. I missed my Roza, I missed the woman who always brought a smile to my face, who lightened my otherwise dark world.
Every day was the same, I trained for hours either by myself or with Guardians who were game enough to face me but let's just say they never came back for another round. All I did was train, I trained to be better, to ensure that history would never repeat itself, I trained to improve my skills, so that I could dedicate all my abilities to protecting the Princess. It was the least I could after I failed to protect the one person I promised to. I promised to protect Rose from everything, and I failed! She was dead, dead because she was in such a low point of her life she couldn't bother to fight back. It was my fault she was so low, I treated her abhorrently, I treated her so abominably. I could never forgive myself.
Looking back, I deserved to be a shell of myself, this continuous numb sensation. I couldn't believe I had told such an atrocious lie and that it led to her death. I always thought that I would have died before her, either defending her or our charge. I had prayed that we would get to the point where we could marry, and I would have been happy with a childless life if it meant that I could spend every day till my death by her side.
I had promised that her heart was safe with me, that I would never throw it away. But that was exactly what I did. I threw her heart to the curb after everything she did for me. She left her bond-sister and future charge to hunt me down and free me. She was willing to kill the love of her life, me, for me, and what did I do? Threatened and tried to turn her into the same beast that I was. I stalked and haunted her after she thought she had succeeded; I drew her out to me by kidnapping her friends. I tried to kill her but even then, she didn't do anything but love me. She loved me through all of our hardships and thanks to one lie, an extremely false truth, she died thinking that I didn't love her. That couldn't have been the furthest from the truth, I would have given my life for hers, and I had.
Unknown to many, during those moments in the caves before being turned I found out the truth. Rose, my Roza was the target. Someone had wanted her gone, out of the way and they had an order to make sure that I out of everyone wasn't harmed, but obviously Nathan was incapable of following orders. Well, I knew that from my time back in Russia, running and working under Gallina's thumb.
I thought I was saving Rose's reputation, her future by removing her from my side. I hadn't wanted her to be dragged down with my now stained reputation, instead she was dead, wasting away left gods knows where, and I have been given the position of head Guard for the next Queen. Life wasn't fair. Rose was the one who deserved such a remarkable chance, not that she could agree to it, all she wanted to be, was Lissa's Guardian; but still- she was the one who deserved the position not me.
I struggled to see the light in the day anymore. The only time where I was truly happy was when I was asleep dreaming of the future that had been taken away from me. Don't get me wrong, time spent with my friends and family were pretty close to being perfect, but every time I saw them, may it be my Court friends, or my family, Rose was missing and so therefore it wasn't perfect. The first time I reconnected with my family, Lissa and Christian had paid for them to come over. Babushka slapped me and spat at me before running off in the direction that Mikhail had said Rose had died in. I had many times scouted that side of the Court in hopes that Rose had gotten away and was trying to get home, hoping that one day she would appear, but she never did. Mama was no better, she screamed at me as did Viktoria; but then again, my little sister was also guilty of mistreating Rose. She had the gall to accuse my Roza of not loving me enough and lying about me returning said love. But what surprised me the most was how depressed and sad Sonja and Karolina were. Apparently, even though Rose didn't think so, the three of them had gotten close. In all, my entire family loved Roza, just as much as I did, and to find out that she was dead and it was my fault, well let's say I wasn't in my family's good books.
I couldn't believe that it had been five months since Rose left us. Five months without her beauty, humour and love to keep me going. Four months since I was given my status back and was given a new charge. According to Queen Tatiana, the Princess was travelling with almost half the Queen's entourage in numbers. She was safe for now until she returned to Court. Apparently, something had happened, and she needed time to grieve or to come to term with everything, not that we knew anything to do with it.
I was anxious to see who the Princess was. The Royals always had a habit of gossiping, and the gossip sometimes reached us lowers through the grapevine. There had been many speculations on just who the woman was. To have been crowned for three separate families, it was just as unheard of as a novice killing more than one or two Strigoi years before graduation.
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Rose Hathaway
I sat on the backyard of my baba's house in Switzerland, watching as the snow fell. It was beautiful out here, there were no words to describe it. From my baba's house I watched as the sun reached the high top of the mountains, as the snow glittered in the sun, and if you were up there you could see the almost spiritual sight of the snow melting, making it appear that the mountain is being blessed by a tear from God.
The waters nearby the mountains were crystal clear and tranquillity in the peace. The waters weren't interrupted by anything, they were free of any ripples. If I stared at the water for long enough, I could see my own soul staring back at me, the water was that clear. People had always said that water that could settle long enough to get a clear image from, was the purest and could show just how pure a person was.
Too much had happened in too little of time. I felt so confused and alone in this new journey of mine despite that I had Baba, Adrian, Queen Tatiana and now three more. Of course, I always had Mason, but right at this point of time, all I wanted was a hug from one of my brothers. Eddie wasn't here and I couldn't hug Mason, he would just pass right through me which wasn't a pleasant feeling at all. From where I was, I could hear the murmurs from the house, Ivan and the Ozeras were awake and so was Baba. The four of them were planning the flight to wherever I was being sent to. Adrian had told his aunt, our aunt that I needed some time before returning to Court. I still hadn't gotten used to the idea of being a Ivashkov, or a Badica or even a Szelsky. It was all to much for my mind to comprehend, so as a group they all agreed that I needed some time to myself and Baba being the amazing man he was, had suggested doing some travelling.
I was going to see the world. Yes, I may have seen Russia, and most of America during my time on the run with Lissa and then of course hunting him down; but that wasn't the world. I had for an exceptionally long time wanted to travel to places like Egypt, Europe and even Italy. Egypt was one of the places I had wanted to visit ever since reading mythology, the idea that people saw the sun and moon as gods, and heaven and hell as places where monsters laid or where rivers of reeds blew in the wind, it made me so fascinated in the way of life.
Adrian had insisted on traveling with me, but Tatiana needed him to return with her back to court, while Ivan, Lucas and Moira, and Baba were going to travel with me. It was going to be an adventure that was sure. After leaving Switzerland, we were apparently heading back to Turkey first, so I could learn my magic and what it was like to be a Moroi before heading back into the world. To say I was nervous was an understatement. I had no idea what to expect. I was however excited to see more than courts and wards; so, I just sat there drinking in the sun for as long as I could, because I knew that was something I would lose on the travels. I could handle the sun, but the rest of my party couldn't, so we would stick to a night schedule.
Adrian and Tatiana had already left and returned to Court. He had promised to keep me up to date with everything that was happening and the first thing he told me when arriving home was how depressed a certain someone was despite being a Guardian again. Adrian hadn't been there for the public announcement; he had been consoling me after a nightmare. Eddie had rung him and thanks to my hearing I had heard everything Eddie had to say. I was confused when I heard that he was going to be the new Princess' Guardian, but I was too far into my own mind I hadn't really thought on it and now that I was, I couldn't understand what Eddie and Adrian had said.
I couldn't help it, every time anyone mentioned Court, I found myself thinking about him. No matter how hard I tried, he always found a way to sneak into my thoughts, like now. I knew I had to forget about him, he had forgotten all about me after all. This was it, I sighed standing up. Reaching into my bag I pulled out a stake, one that I had made as a gift for him being reinstated. I left the veranda, with a letter telling Baba to spend it to Court, knowing that Pavel was still watching me, taking his role as my guardian way too seriously. This was the last time I was going to think about him, I said my goodbyes before kissing the stake and handing it to the stoic shadow of mine.
Goodbye.