The figure below me landed with a loud grunt and a scream stuffed in their throat. Digging my claws into their back, I felt their struggles lessen. The heavy scent of their blood swirled in my head, making my beast anxious for the flood of the red liquid in my belly.
I carefully licked the back of his neck, feeling him squirm with fear.
Fear. I hated how the scent was invoked by my other form.
I felt my teeth sink into the taut flesh, making him drown his scream in his own blood. The taste exploded on my tongue, causing a shudder to heat my bones. Biting harder, the bone snapped and I felt the life leave him. A howl was stuffed in the back of my throat, my beast wanting to sing to the night sky that I was still a hunter. And that I was successful in my kill.
But all I felt was regret and not even a smidge of relief this meal should have given me. I killed senselessly, when all I had to do was make my blood-bond mine. And I couldn’t even do that because I was a coward.
A coward who killed out of fear.
-
I woke up on my couch, the small blanket covering my midsection. I moved and felt the smooth fabric slid along my naked self. The thick scent of blood was heavy in the air around me. I came straight home in my fur and immediately fell asleep. How I got up to my home was a mystery to me.
Sitting up, I let the blanket fall, goose bumps trailed down my skin like fingers leaving designs. A small shudder ran through me, the chill in the air was something unsettling. Sighing, I rubbed sleep leaden fists against my eyes. My life is slowly becoming chaotic, this feeding every other day, and it doing nothing was taking a huge toll on me.
My pack would feed every night, send out the pack hunters, lure the prey in, kill senselessly, and just for the company of one another. I always avoided situations like those. I’d rather feed when I needed too, and the company of books is more my cup of tea.
Sitting right, I dropped my head into my heads, elbows resting on my knees. The floor was cold and caused goose pimples to race across my skin. My jaws were working overtime, my teeth grinding slightly against each other. The pounding in my head was killing me, the urgency in my feedings lately grew with each victim. I never changed so much in a single month. My body was sore and tired, I felt feverish to the touch but that was just the normal temperature I was. With minimal changes, our bodies resort to one close to humans.
The blood smeared along my arms and abdomen was turning to a rust colour, and starting to flake. Claw marks were on the floor, the gouges not too deep but it was an eye-sore. The path that ended at the couch started at the picture window, a flurry of paw prints and small puddles of blood trailed the way. A burning growl seared my throat, the sound echoing off the walls, it was deep and menacing. My beast was still in need.
“Fuck.” I ran my fingers through my hair, gripping the locks between my fingers, pulling slightly in agitation.
I stood quickly, ignoring the small throb of protest in my head, I needed to start cleaning. I wasted enough time laying around.
slowly standing, I looked at what I had to repair and disinfect. A small groan of refusal shattered the silent atmosphere. The blanket pooled around my ankles, making me kick at it until it freed me.
A loud pounding sounded at the door, the person agitated. I glanced around alarmingly, nothing other than the blanket was around for any decent cover. I quickly picked it back up and wrapped it tightly around me as another pounding ensued. “One second!” Annoyance was clear in my voice but it did nothing to scare the person on the other side of the door. I couldn’t let them in. Not with the way the place was covered in blood and marks.
My hand touched the doorknob just as another round of knocking happened, I opened it slightly, wide enough to let my face be visible. “What the hell do you want?” I took in an eyeful of the woman I had previously hunted weeks ago. She was short, dirty blonde hair now, and eyes with fire in them.
“I’m Tegan’s girlfriend, and you are her slutty landlord.” Her voice had a strong authoritative ring to it. Making the statement seem almost true.
Squinting slightly at her, I relaxed against the frame. I wanted to hear what she had to say. “All I ever hear about lately is ‘Sara this, Sara that’ I’m fucking done with it. Whatever favour you’re doing for her, letting her rent this place for fucking cheap, stop it. We’ve been together for the past four years. And I am not going to let that go down the drain for a simple fling.”
Jaws tightened and a glare set in place, she stared at me with so much anger and determination that it caused a laugh to escape me. “If you and Tegan been together for such a long time with no interference on either party, you have nothing to worry about. This jealousy you’re showing is a sign of your own infidelity, is it not?” My nonchalant attitude and calm voice angered her further, the heat striking me in waves.
“I’m not jealous of a woman who holds herself up in arrogance. If Tegan knew the true you, she wouldn’t even be slightly interested.”
“And whos to say you know the real me? This is the first time we’ve ever met.” I was getting agitated.
She let out a sharp laugh, “I know exactly what you want. You have nothing to hide behind.” She looked me up and down, nose wrinkled at my bare shoulders and blanket toga. “You’re a greedy home-wrecker. You’ll get Tegan and drop her as soon as you get what you wanted. You have ruined lives all around you.”
This was getting ridiculous really fast.
“To stop you from ruining your own relationship with my friend Tegan, I’m going to stop you here and tell you to kindly leave me alone.” Putting off making Tegan ours could potentially endanger her life the more her disease progressed. Obviously. But I didn’t want to take her forcibly. I wanted her to fall smoothly into my arms, to gently love me at first. Not have her run to me because this bitch couldn’t control her anger.
She took a step back, confusion evident. Her mouth hung open, sounds of protest underlying her exhale.
Maybe I was being selfish in wanting to keep Tegan at bay. Maybe I felt that not making her mine would let her live a life in full rather than in secret with me. I was fighting myself to be happy, I was used to seeing others make memories from the side. I was used to the whole kill or be killed way of life.
“Just...leave her alone.” Emotion wiped from my face, I swiftly closed the door in her confusion. Sighing, I let the blanket fall as I walked slowly to the bathroom.
I needed to push myself away from Tegan, for my own sake. But at the same time I also wanted to rid her of this deadly disease brewing her chest. Battling myself was so new to me in this way. I never had any qualms when it came to my blood-bond, it was always them. They made me so crazy that being away felt like this. Now being close caused headaches and fear.
Fear of what? My fear of commitment was always with me. But this fear was so new, so dreadfully new, that I froze in place when it crept up on me. And it did so, on so many occasions, surprising me and taking me down to a place nobody should be. This dark room in my mind that bared her name.
Gripping the edge of the counter, I stared at my reflection. Strong and square jawline, slightly thin lips, high cheekbones, almond shaped eyes, thin eyebrows, and clear skin. I was coined attractive in this era. But I didn’t see what the human eye saw. I looked at myself and all I ever see is a killer. I could see the blood that I had wiped off my chin, it smeared down my neck. But they saw none of it. I could see the blood-crazed animal lurking in my hazel eyes, licking its jaws in silent threat that said ‘You will be dead soon.’
Biting my lower lip, I forced myself to look away. Goose bumps prickled up my right side, my beast showing itself, itching to be free again. I needed a run, one without death nipping at my heels. I needed the fresh air combing itself through my fur, cooling my body. The wet soil beneath my paws, and my howls to go unheard by humans.
I wanted away from the frenzy Tegan set in me, I was going to leave town.