The next few weeks pass in a blur. I can't believe it's already been four months since my wedding with Xander. I have stopped making his coffee and we don't even talk anymore. Not even a single word. We often see each other in the gym every morning but I always make as if I never see him and he does the same thing.
I have noticed that Nina every now and then brings his coffee. Well, I don't care at all. I'm protecting myself. That's all. But I can see the suspicious look in Colton's eyes. Over the course of time, we have grown closer and I'm grateful to have him as a good friend in this hell hole. We even have lunch together almost everyday.
I'm still ashamed over the fact that I have hurt myself because of Xander. The marks are not gone yet and I don't think it will. It's a constant reminder that Xander is harmful for my sanity. I must keep my distance from him in every way possible. I don't want to be like I was before.
But as much as I keep saying to myself to keep my distance from him, I still find myself helping him when he gets his nightmare every now and then. I just hold his hand and keep saying words to calm him until he falls back to sleep. No matter how much I try to be a bad person, I just can't be one. It's just not in me.
I always make sure that I return back in my place so that he doesn't know that I was there when he was having his nightmare.
"Ayla", Colton walks inside my cabin with lunch suddenly, pulling me back into reality.
"Lunch is here", he places my chicken salad infront of me and takes a seat opposite me.
"Thanks Colton", I pick my fork and start eating instantly. I'm ravenous suddenly.
"Nina went into Xander's office again", he adds while opening his box of food.
I just shrug and keep eating. My main concern is my food right now.
"What's going on Ayla?", he asks gently suddenly. "Have you and Xander been fighting?"
We always fight, I muse in my mind while I shake my head and chew my food.
"Then why does Nina brings him his coffee instead of you?", he probes.
"I'm sorry if I'm intruding", he adds when I do not respond and keep on eating. "But if you want you can share it with me if something is bothering you. Even Liz said you looked lost these past few days."
My heart melts when I hear the concern in his voice for me. I place my fork down and sigh.
"It's too complicated", I lean back in my chair.
"I don't understand"
"Xander and I had an arrangement", I confess. "It's not really a wedding. He just married me for my father's loan."
"What?!", he shouts.
"Don't shout!", I scold him and throw a lettuce on his face which lands in his open mouth.
"Oh my god!", he gasps dramatically and fans himself with his hands. "Let me breathe. Jesus christ!"
"Please don't tell anyone about this Colton", I add seriously. "Xander will kill me."
"I won't", he promises in a serious tone. "I promise you."
I start eating while watching him still freaking out. He's being really funny.
"I knew it something was wrong when he got married suddenly", he confirms.
"How?"
"He doesn't seems like the one to be married. He is so aloof and a big workaholic. He is in the office every single day not to forget so unapproachable."
"Yet you have a crush on him", I tease him.
"I can't help it", he groans while he blushes. "He is so hot. How can you not have a crush on him? You stay with him for God's sake!"
"That's because all we do is fight", I clarify. "We really hate each other. I can't stand him at all."
"I'm sorry you have to go through this Ayla", he says genuinely. "If he behaves like this with you here, I can't imagine how he is at home."
"We don't really speak to which I'm really grateful. I have my own space."
"No wonder he doesn't says anything to Nina at all", he frowns suddenly. "Oh my God! Is he having an affair with that bitch?"
"I don't know", I say. "I don't care honestly. He can do whatever he wants as long as he leaves me alone."
"Honestly I thought he was gay when I first joined the firm", Colton admits sheepishly. "But then when I start having a crush on him, I started stalking him on the internet."
"We have all been there", I console him when his cheeks start turning pink. "It's okay."
"He had a girlfriend", he continues and suddenly my ears perk up to listen more. This is interesting.
"Really?"
"Yes", he nods. "There was not too much information on her though. She's sort of a mystery. Rumors has it that she cheated on him."
"Oh", I wince. "That sucks."
"How could she possibly cheated on him is beyond my understanding", Colton blabbers. "I mean he is a total package. Hot. Loaded with money and God! His tattoos."
"You have seen them?", I am shock. How? When?
"Duh", he flips his nonexistent hair in the air. "One time he was changing in his office and I thought he was gone. But there he was."
He is speaking as if he is reliving the moment again. He looks completely in his own world. Damn. He really has it bad for Xander.
"I can still see him removing his shirt", he continues dreamily. "The sculpted back. Those muscles. The tribal tattoos that cover his right arm completely and goes on behind his back. So hot."
Suddenly, I get pull into Colton's imagination as well. I can see Xander like this too. We are watching him stripping. His back flexes perfectly as he removes his shirt and starts wearing another one. Damn his tattoos are hot as hell. His long fingers close each of the button up skillfully.
Why does he need to be so gorgeous when he is a total jackass?
The intercom suddenly buzzes and Colton and I shout in panic.
"Jesus Ayla!", he gasps. "You scared me."
"It was you", I retord and pat my chest in an attempt to calm my raging heart. "You were lusting after Xander."
"Bestie", he laughs suddenly. "I know you could see him as well. You looked occupied in his thoughts when I was describing him."
"Shut up", I murmur.
The intercom buzzes again.
"In my office now!", Xander orders.
"Get your man babe", Colton winks at me before leaving.
I take several deep breath to calm myself. What was that? What's happening to me? Why was I even imagining him?
"This is disturbing", I murmur to myself while I walk towards Xander's office. I regain my rigid composure before turning the knob to enter inside. I stand before him with my arms cross and wait for him to speak.
"Email these clients", he orders without looking at me and pushes a few files in my direction.
"Reschedule all these meetings for this week and book two tickets for California", he adds and finally looks at me.
Two tickets? Is he going somewhere with Nina?
"Pack your bags"
"Excuse me?", I say, taken aback. "Why?"
"I have a business meeting in California and as my PA you have to attend it as well", he says in a nonchalant tone.
"I'm not going", I say fiercely.
"I did not ask you", his eyes bore into mine.
This! I hate this manner of his. He thinks that he can control me and make decisions which I am suppose to make. Well it's high time to give him a reality check. I am not going!
"I am not going anywhere with you Grey", I say and lift my hand up when he is about to speak. "Whatever you are going to say won't bother me. In case you forgot, I run a boutique while working for you. So you don't get to say anything when you, who thinks of himself as the great highness, decides to tell me about going anywhere the last minute."
"Are you done?", he lifts one of his eyebrow up. "Pack your bags."
"I said that I am not going", I press and cross my arms. "Why don't you take Nina with you? She will be perfect for the trip. You won't feel any disgust or anger."
I lean my palm on his table and add. "And if you force me, I will have to call your father. I'm sure he won't have any problem if I stay here."
"So you really think blackmailing will work for you?", he questions.
"I learn from an odd dork dog of a man himself", I say in a mocking tone.
"How dare you?", he sneers and gets up.
"Whatever", I roll my eyes and turn to leave.
"What did I tell you about turning your back on me?", he snaps and holding my arms, he turns me harshly around.
Ouch. That hurts.
"Leave me", I try to free my arm from his death grip. "If you think by giving me the death glare, I'll change my mind then you are wrong. I am still not going."
"Don't argue with me", he snaps. "Pack. Your. Bags."
Three. Two. One.
Push him Ayla!
"I am not going anywhere with you", I state firmly and shrugging my arm off from his hold, I shove him at his chest.
"Next time do not touch me!"
I think he is shock and speechless that I have pushed him because all he does is glare at me. Angrily. His fists are curl up into two tight balls.
Whatever. I am backing away. I just want to protect myself. I can't hurt myself because of him again and if that means arguing limitless with him then I don't care.
He is about to speak again but I flip him off this time.
"Still not going"
"Get. Out. From. Here", he enunciates each word with intense fury.
"Chill", I shrug. "I'm leaving.You don't need to say it. Have a good trip though."
I close his door with a bang and return back in my cabin. I take a deep breath and exhale it. He makes me so mad. I'm actually glad that he is leaving. Atleast, I'll be on my own for a while.
I book his flight ticket and come to know that he is going for two whole days. I smile and lean back in my chair.
"Freedom", I sigh in relief.
Night comes quickly and I end up sleeping on the couch itself. I don't want to have nightmares sleeping on his bed. But little do I know that I will be completely wrong.
"Ayla", I hear a male's voice as if he is afraid. "Help me. Please help me."
Xander.
"Get me out Ayla. Please hurry up", he says in anguish. "It's burning. It's going to kill me."
Suddenly I'm in a house which is on fire. Flames are blazing everywhere.
"Ayla"
I have to find Xander. I look around quickly and see him banging on a see through glass. There's red flames behind him. Oh my God! I need to save him.
"I'm coming", I say and run towards the stairs.
My skin burns as I make my way towards him. The fire is too intense and I'm afraid that I won't reach on time for him.
"Ayla hurry up", he calls out again.
I won't let anything happen to him. I climb the stairs hurriedly but suddenly the fire starts raging wildly everywhere. I lost Xander among the bright orange flames while I hear him still calling out my name.
"Xander", I gasp loudly as I wake up drench in sweat.
"What the hell was that?", I murmur to myself as I wipe the sweat off my forehead. It felt real and hot.
My heart is still pounding madly in my chest. I hope Xander is alright and safe. As much as I don't like him, I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He did looked a little bit tired than usual before leaving. Maybe I should have gone with him.
Oh my God. Did he take his inhaler with him? I hope he did. I check in his drawer and find it still lying in there.
"How can he be so irresponsible?", I say. "What if he need it?"
I start worrying about him even though I don't want to. I decide to call Scott. He's with him. Reaching for my phone, I dial his number. He picks up instantly and without giving him time to speak I tell him the name of the inhaler and to buy another one for Xander, in case he needs it. He tells me he will give it to him in the morning because Xander is already in his room, probably sleeping. He does not want to disturb him but I am persistant.
"Now Scott", I press.
"But Mrs Grey", he says. "Sir strictly said not to disturb him. And he looks perfectly fine. And whenever he needs something, he makes sure to tell me."
"Scott", I utter in annoyance. "I need you to give him. Now."
"Fine ma'am."
I cut the call afterwards. Well I hope, Scott knows that his boss uses an inhaler. If not, then I don't know what to say. I hope Xander doesn't get angry.
After hanging up, I decide to take some cold air from the balcony to feel some relief. It's as if I can still feel the heat of the fire on my skin. I hold the rail and lean my head back while taking a few deep breath.
What was that dream about? Does Xander have the same nightmare? I hope he is alright.
The next day I am working on my laptop when the door suddenly opens. My fingers automatically stops typing when I see Nina entering inside.
"You need to emails these clients before noon", she says as she places the papers on the table and turns to leave.
I return my gaze on the screen when she turns to leave but instantly raises it when I feel her stop walking.
"Tell me one thing Ayla", she starts saying in a sickenly sweet voice and approaches my table. "Why you did not accompanied Xander?"
I push my glasses up into my hair and lean back in my chair.
"I don't see how this concerns you", I shoot back.
"Oh", she continues smiling. "Anything relating to Xander concerns me."
"That's too bad"
"He doesn't really love you", she adds tensely while crossing her arms.
"And how do you know that?", I probe, curious to know her answer.
"Oh come on!", she exclaims. "It's not hard to see. Both of you never come to office together. You guys don't even have lunch together. Xander doesn't even spare you a single glance."
She looks proud of herself when she's done. I must say she is a good observant but then again, she has it bad for Xander so I don't blame her. As long as she doesn't harms or irritates me, she's good.
"Do you want a cookie for your observations?", I say and add, "Now as you can see I have to work to do. You can leave."
"Honestly I don't understand why he married you", she mocks. "I mean look at you. You're not even that beautiful. You're not even average."
She looks at me with disgust.
"Yet he wants me and I'm Mrs Xander Grey while you're still standing in the office as an employee", I point out calmly.
Her face contorts into an angry expression.
"Watch it Nina", I warn her. "Don't even think about messing with me. You'll regret it. I get it you like Xander or whatever but do not pull me into your mess."
My voice is laced with warning as I watch her fumes. She turns to leave but I stop her.
"Next time knock before entering", I order her in a cold tone while adjusting my glasses back into its place.
The next two days pass rather quickly. Xander has actually left ton of work for me in his absence. While working, I don't even realize when time starts flying by.
It's Wednesday. The day, Xander is suppose to come back. It's already one in the afternoon while I'm sorting out emails. Suddenly, the door of my cabin opens and Colton saunters in with a smile.
"Xander is back", he declares with excitement.
"Already?"
"Oui", he says in french. "He is in his cabin. He looks different though."
My mind is already asking me if he is sick and I don't why I am caring so much but I get up instantly.
I peep through the window blinds separating us and see that he has his head lean back on his chair. Well, he looks sick. He could have just gone home after the trip. Why did he came here?
That's because he is an workaholic Ayla.
Right. I roll my eyes and look at Colton. He is looking at Xander too but with a smile on his face.
"Creep", I tease him.
"Go and look after him.", he says with concern. "He looks miserable."
"Or he could just be tired you know", I say and pick some files as an excuse to see him. "He just got back from a business trip. He could have just gone home to rest."
"You married a workaholic", Colton says walking outside with me. "What can I say?"
I take a deep breath before pushing the door open. Xander's eyes are still close. I walk a few steps and he opens his eyes to look at him. They harden instantly.
"What do you want?", his voice sounds hoarse.
I refrain from asking if he is okay and place the files on his desk.
"Err you need to approve these", I say and when he doesn't say anything, I turn to leave.
Just when I'm about to turn the knob, I hear a low groan and look at Xander on instinct. He is holding his head and pinching the bridge of his nose. I think he's having a headache.
"Are you okay?", I ask slowly and approach him again.
He does not look okay at all Ayla!
He does not responds and keeps his eyes shut. I debate whether to help or not. Let me just try. If he scolds me, I'll understand. But if I don't atleast try, the thought will keep haunting me. I walk around the table and with a little bit of hesitation, I make him lean his head back. His eyes fly open instantly when I touch his forehead.
"You have a fever", I state when he keeps looking at me. His skin is burning.
Ignoring his probing gaze, I massage his head and forehead and he almost sighs in relief.
"Why are you doing this?", he questions.
"As much as I'll like you to suffer, I don't want to live with a sick man", I say.
"Your hands are cold", he murmurs.
"Oh sorry", I remove my hands quickly.
"No it's really nice", he drawls huskily with his eyes half close. "Continue."
Is he sleeping? I touch his forehead again. He is really sick.
"Xander", I say in a low voice. "You need to see a doctor. You have a high fever."
"I'm fine."
"Atleast go home and take some rest", I say in a convincing tone.
"I'm fine", his voice comes out hoarse. He opens his eyes to look at me and they are red. He looks tired.
"Let's go home", I blurt.
He blinks lazily as he keeps his eyes on me.
"You need to rest", I continue in a gentle tone.
I urge him to get up and for the first time ever, Xander complies. He is actually listening to me. He lets out another small groan as he pinches the bridge of his nose. He must be having a bad headache.
"Here", I say and wrap an arm around his waist even though my heart gives a loud jolt at our closeness. "Lean on me."
He looks at me carefully for a while and puts his arm around my shoulder while still making sure that his weight is not completely on me. We walk towards the door slowly as his weight is thrice the size of me.
Colton's eyes widen when he sees us.
"Ayla? Is everything alright? What happened?"
"Everything's okay Colton", I assure him. "Xander needs to rest. We are going home."
He gives me nod and a worried look as we walk by him. We get inside the elevator and I press for the ground floor.
"Are you okay?", my voice comes out worriedly when I see him squeezing his eyes in pain.
"Headache", he murmurs.
"You'll be okay", I say gently. "We'll go home and I'll call a doctor."
"No", his says instantly. "I have my medications at home."
I look at him. If I insist for the doctor, he will get mad. I'll see what I can do for him at home. Scott opens the door as soon as he sees us and Xander gets inside.
"You told me he was fine over the phone", I say accusingly when I close the door back again.
"He was", he defends. "He started looking sick since the morning. I apologize Mrs Grey...."
"Don't", I sigh. "It's not your fault. Just get us home please."
I get beside Xander and my heart clenches agonizingly. He looks in pain and the sight should have make me feel happy and ecstatic given the fact how he has been treating me yet here am I, feeling concern for his ass.
We reach home and Xander opens the door before I can even help him. Somehow I have a feeling if I try to approach him he might snap. Regardless, I walk behind him in case he stumbles. Once he gets inside the room safely, I saunter back in the kitchen and prepares some chicken soup for him.
While he is in the shower, I go through his medications in the room. A bottle of pills catches my attention. Xander has anxiety?!
"What the hell?!", a strong hand snatches the bottle from my hand.
Even though he looks sick as hell, he looks so angry. And why not? I don't blame him. He clearly doesn't want anyone to know that he suffers from anxiety. I totally understand him.
"I'm sorry", I apologize. "I didn't mean to pry. I was just looking for some painkillers for your head."
"Just leave from here", he states hoarsely. His face relaxes and he walks towards the bed with the first aid box.
"Xander you need to eat something before taking the pills", I voice out ignoring the fact that he just told me to leave.
"You'll feel more sick if you take them on an empty stomach."
From the way he is looking, I know he has not eaten anything since the morning. He looks weak as well.
"I'm fine", he says in a dismissive tone.
He looks around for water and luckily there's none on the bedside table. He sighs and rests against the headrest. A few seconds later, I watch as he stands up. He must be going in the kitchen.
"Just stay here", I blurt when he winces once again. "I'll get it."
I turn and leave the room without giving him any chance to speak. Hurriedly, I make my way towards the kitchen. I'll get to bring him some soup on my way back. Luckily, when I check, it's already done. I scoop a good amount in a bowl and fill a glass of water. I return back in the room and find Xander leaning against the headrest with his eyes close.
"Xander", I call out softly and he opens his eyes instantly. "I made some soup for you. Have a little bit and then you can take your pills."
He watches me carefully as I approach him. His eyes are even more redder. I dare to take a bold step and sit besides him.
"Here", I offer him the tray. Hot steam is rising from the bowl.
"I don't want it", he rasps.
"Just have a little bit", I coax him. "You will feel good afterwards, I promise. It will warm you up from inside."
He frowns suddenly and pushes the tray a little bit harshly. The bowl of hot soup sways and some of it splashes on my fingers and thighs. I gasp slightly when it starts burning.
"Shit!", Xander sits straighter and takes the tray from my hand instantly. "I'm sorry. Are you okay?"
He takes my left hand and inspects the red skin. I pull my hand slowly from his grasp when my hearts starts thumping louder.
"I am", I give him a little nod. My thigh and left thumb is actually burning. "It's just a little burn."
"I'm really sorry Ayla", he apologises again. "I didn't mean to push it so roughly. It just happened."
"You are sick Xander", I console him. "I understand."
He is just behaving just like a kid. A child always fusses over food when he is sick.
"Everywhere hurts", he admits in a whisper.
"Have this and drink your pills", I add and when he still doesn't makes any attempt to take the tray, I scoop some soup into the spoon and blowing at it so that it cools down, I bring it till his lips.
He looks at me for a few seconds and I'm afraid that he will refuse again but to my surprise, he opens his mouth. I feed him quietly and all the while his eyes remain on me. I try my best to make as if his probing gaze is not affecting me at all.
When the soup is over, he drinks the pills and lays on the bed. I return in the kitchen and to place the utensils back and check my hand. There's a mild burn on it and as for my thigh, there's a slight burn there as well. I take a shower afterwards and return back in the room. Xander is already sleeping. Just when I'm about to sit on the couch, I hear his voice. I get up instantly.
"Do you need anything?", I ask with concern.
"Why did you cover your legs?", he asks.
"Excuse me?", I am appalled.
"Your hand is still red and your thigh must be in the same state. Did you put anything on it?"
"No"
I stare at him. Why does he looks worried for me all of a sudden? It must be those pills. He doesn't look like his usual self.
"Change into a shorts", he adds huskily.
"No", my answer is instant. "I'm okay."
I'm not going to change into a shorts and reveal my skin. Xander gets into a sitting position and stares intently at me.
"Either change it or I'll do it myself", he says in a low tone.
My heart jolts against my chest. Did he just said that? I feel heat creeping up my neck till my cheeks but stay unbother.
"Get some sleep Xander", I say and turn.
I'm three steps away from the couch when I get lifted from the ground. I gasp when I see Xander's stoic face.
"Hey! What are you doing?", I demand. "Put me down?!"
I stop struggling when I feel his hot burning skin against mine. His temperature is rising. He places me down in my closet and gives me a hard glare. He lifts his hand towards my waist but I smack it away.
"Don't you dare", I snap. "Listen I'm alright. It's nothing that I can't handle."
"It must be burning", he persists and suddenly he looks trouble. "And I know it's a horrible feeling. Let me see."
I lift my hand and show him. "See. It's alright. I iced it."
"What about your thigh?", he probes. "I know it must be burning."
Yes it does. But only mildly and I'm not going to say it to him. I'm about to argue but he cuts me off.
"Listen I won't be able to sleep if I don't see it", he looks so concern. Was it the same person who told me he doesn't cares even if he hurts me?
"I just want to see if I didn't burn you too much", his voice trails off as he averts his eyes guiltily.
"Fine", I sigh. "Just go out. I'll change."
He nods and leaves. I search for a cotton shorts. I remove my leggings and put them on. Why is he being so persistant about seeing the burn?
Then it dawns upon me. The incident with his mother. He said he knows how it feels when the skin is on fire. I get out of the closet and finds him sitting on the bed with an oitment in his hands. He looks ready to pass out yet he is being stubborn.
"Xander go to sleep", I say immediately. "I can apply it."
"Come here", he orders gently without taking his eyes off me.
Suddenly I feel nervous and gulp when his eyes remain solely on my legs. Can he see the marks even if it's already faded? A sudden need to cover myself overpower my mind but when he raises his eyes to look at me, I know that he will not hurt me.
"You can trust me", he says as if reading my mind.
I take a few steps closer to him and utter, "See there's nothing. You didn't burned me. I'm okay."
His long fingers brush against my red skin and I stiffen when I feel knots in my stomach suddenly.
"It's red", he murmurs and opens the oitment's cap. I flinch when he starts applying it.
"It's okay", I say and try to take a step back. "I can do it."
He quickly snakes his hand around my thigh, preventing me to move.
"Stay still"
I do as he says and watch as he concentrates on what he's doing. What's happening?
"How did you get this?", he demands after a while.
"What?"
My eyes widen slightly when I see him looking at my other thigh. Quickly I try to take a step back.
"I don't know", I blurt.
"Did you harmed yourself?", he asks in a serious tone.
"What? No!", I defend myself.
"You can't lie"
"I'm not lying", I lie. "I must have collided with the edge of the table at work or something. I didn't even realised that I was hurt."
"Thank you for this", I say and take a few steps back and this time he lets me. "You should get some rest."
I turn and walk towards the couch with wide eyes. The way he has been looking at me is so unerving. How did he guessed that I did hurt myself on purpose?
I lay down on the couch and after a few minutes, I turn to give him a peak. He is already sleeping. Thank God! Atleast he is sleeping peacefully now.
But seems like I have thanked God to soon because I hear him groaning a little while later. I get up instantly and approach him. Sweat is covering his face and body.
"Xander", I call out softly and touch his forehead. When I check his temperature, the degrees are high. He is burning up.
"Cold compress", I murmur to myself and walk downstairs in the kitchen hastily.
I put some ice in a bowl of water and taking a piece of cloth, I return back in the room. I take a seat besides him and dipping the cloth in the ice cold water, I give it a squeeze and place it on his burning forehead. His face cringes in pain.
"How did you get so ill?", I murmur. "He must have ate or drank something cold during his trip. He already has chest issues. I hope next time you are more careful."
I keep doing the cold compress for a while and check his temparature again afterwards. Atleast, he is not burning anymore. His body seems to be cooling off.
I dip the cloth once more into the water and giving it a hard squeeze, I wipe his face slowly. He looks so calm. Totally different from when he is actually wide awake. I wipe the sweat off his neck and he shivers.
I adjust the cover over him and just when I am about to get up, I feel his hand wrapping around my wrist.
"Can you stay?", he asks in a hoarse voice.
The look he gives me tugs at my heart suddenly and I find myself nodding even though it's a bad idea. He looks so sick and just like a lost boy.
I place the bowl back on the bedside table and sit besides him again.
"Lay down", he adds.
"Are you sure?", I ask slowly completely ignoring my phobia for him. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable."
"Lay down Ayla", he almost murmurs while his eyes flutter close. "You being here helps me to sleep."
"Okay", I murmur and lay besides him, keeping some distance away from him.
From time to time, I keep checking his temparature and soon enough, I find myself drifting into a comfortable sleep.
When next, my eyes open, I find my hand into a head full of soft hair. My heart starts thudding loudly when I find a head lying on my chest. Who is this?
Xander!
I sigh shakily when I realize it's him. No danger Ayla. Stay calm. I am still too sleepy and unknowingly I keep caressing Xander's hair until I fall back asleep. Before I succomb completely to the darkness, I check his temparature once again. He's almost back to normal.
Xander Pov
Thump
Thump
Thump
My heart flutters open slowly at the gentle thud, sounding like a lullaby. It is very soothing, almost making me want to go back to sleep again. Am I dreaming?
I feel a hand moving in my hair and my body tenses. This is not a dream. I am actually lying on someone's chest. I lift my head slowly not wanting to alert the person. My eyes widen slightly when it falls on Ayla's sleeping face.
Memories from last night starts flooding into my mind. I was sick and Ayla was feeding me. I burnt her! I try to get up but she instantly pulls my head back down and murmurs.
"It's okay Xander. It's just a dream. The fire is not real."
My entire body stiffens when she mentions my dream. How does she knows? There's no way I am getting this comfortable with her. I don't like it. I can't like her.
I try to remove her arms from around me as gently as possible. If she wakes up, it's going to be very awkward for both of us. I notice a bowl of cold water on the bedside table and a piece of cloth. I start recalling her doing cold compress on me and I told her to stay.
Shit!
How could I allow myself to be this vulnerable with her?
Yet I can't deny but accept that last night was the best sleep I had in years. Somehow she calms me and I don't like it. I don't want to be attach to her or have anything to do with her. In some way, I have a gut feeling that I'm going to have trouble sleeping without her tonight.