I was trying to get my saree pleats to be even when Rihan came in asking, "How much time are you taking to get ready?"
"Get out." I said, "I am not ready yet."
"I have seen you naked." He said coming closer. "Let me do that. I know how." He took hold of my saree and began to take perfect even pleats. I did not want to ask Rihan how he knew how to take saree pleats, knowing that Suhani wore sarees a lot to functions.
Today was one of our college friend's marriage reception. It's been four months since Rihan and I started our new relationship. But it still felt like it all happened yesterday.
His hands neatly tucked in the pleats. And trailed his hand over my belly button. "You look hot." He said in a complaining tone.
"So?" I teased him.
"So I don't want to go to the marriage reception anymore." He pulled me closer. I laughed and pushed him off and finished getting ready. I wanted to look my best. Because I knew Suhani will be there. It's been months since I saw or talked to her. It felt weird and I felt nervous.
"Relax," Vishwa told me. "You are so jittery that you are making the table shake." Vishwa and Vainavi sat across me. But I could not help it. I felt eyes on me. Usually, for every function, Rihan walks in with Suhani. But this time I walked in with Rihan and Suhani walked in alone.
Suhani was at the food counter. Rihan was across the room talking to some guys from college.
I saw Suhani walking to us. "Hey..." she smiled at Vishwa and me. I think she smiled at me too. "Can I sit here?"
"Sure," Vishwa said.
"It's been so long since I saw you Vishwa." She said. "Are you not going to introduce me?" She asked indicating Vainavi.
"Oh... This is Vainavi. My girlfriend. Vainavi, this is Suhani.
Suhani greeted her with a smile and turned to me. "How are you?" She asked me, again with a smile.
"Fine," I said. All nervous. I tried to feel less guilty to be having sex with her ex. "You look nice," She added to me. "Thanks. How is uncle now."
"Oh! He is much better. Though he still must eat a lot of medicines and all. And he is being a baby about it. You know how he is."
I nodded.
"Does your parents know about your breakup now?" Vishwa asked all of a sudden. Suhani turned to him....
Suhani looked uncomfortable. "They think we are having a rough patch."
"For almost a year?" He asked.
I suddenly feel so uncomfortable that I get up. "I need a little more paneer curry. It's so tasty." I walked with my plate. "I'll come with you." Vainavi jumped up to follow me. I think she just wanted to give emotional support.
We were at the food counter when I ran into Karishma and Sarah – two of our college mates. "Hey... Ishika..." they greeted me. "It's been so long."
"Yeah. How are you?" I asked looking at Karishma who clearly looked pregnant. "Already second baby?" I asked.
"Yeah. This one was unexpected. I saw you coming with Rihan..."
Uh Oh...
"So are you guys like..." She started.
"We live in the same apartment building," I said, dodging the arrow. "So that's why. Ha ha..." I added a burst of nervous laughter. "See you then..." I walked on.
"We live in the same apartment." I heard her behind me saying to Sarah. "Shameless."
"Yeah. I never thought Ishika is such a slut. I mean... how can you seduce your best friend's boyfriend and be so brazen."
I bit my lips.
"Don't react, Ishi," Vainavi said. "That will just give them validation. Just ignore them. The ones close to you know what is right."
But that was not me. I turned around.
"Eh... Karishma, Sarah..." I said. "I guess you two don't know that Suhani cheated on Rihan first." Vainavi tugged at my elbow. But I ignored her. She turned to look at Vishwa for help. "Your beloved friend slept with another guy first..."
"Ishi..." Vainavi tugged my arm and I turned around to see Suhani looking pale.
"Even if she did," Karishma said, "That is between Suhani and Rihan. That does not justify what you did. Going out and sleeping with your friend's ex is just 'ew'."
"Girls..." Suhani said. "Don't say things like that. It was my fault. I let go of him..."
That just made things awful. That is when Rihan chose to come to the scene seeing everyone together. "What happened? What is wrong?" he asked looking into my eyes, with so much care and concern. I saw jealously and pain, clearly written on Suhani's face. He checked on me first. Not her...
But then... this was to be expected. I just felt angry with myself. And I wanted to take out that anger on Rihan. He kissed me first that day. He made this happen.
"Apparently I am slut." I told him. "Who slept with my friend's ex."
I set my plate down at the counter and turned around and went to the handwash area. Rihan followed me. "Ishu... Ishu..."
I washed my hand in a hurry.
"Ishu I am sorry," Rihan said, coming closer.
"For what?"
"I should not have left you alone."
"No. You should have arrived at the event with Suhani. That is the right picture that people are used to. Because that was not what happened, people can shit on the other picture." I dried my hand on my saree palloo. "I am going home."
He caught my elbow. "What do you mean you are going home? What about me?"
"You come later when you can. I will take a cab."
"Ishu, don't be silly. I will come with you."
"You did not eat yet."
"I don't want to eat. I am taking you home if you want to go." His eyes looked sharp and angry.
"Okay," I said.
When I walked into my house, Rihan came and hugged me from behind. "I am sorry." He said. "I am sorry that you have to hear shit like that. It's because of me."
At least he knows.
"Even the guys were shocked that I am with you now. I don't know what the hell is wrong with everyone."
"If I were in their place, I would have reacted the same. So let's not blame them. And can you sleep at your place today? If I sleep with you tonight, I will actually feel like a slut." I freed myself from his hands. I felt shitty. And I won't let him make me feel better.
"Ishu..."
"Just go, Rihan..." I said. "I need some time alone."
He nodded and left.
I changed clothes took and bath and sat on my bed thinking. Then I called Gautami. My friend from college. She did not come to the wedding reception today because she recently gave birth.
"Hey, Ishi..." She answered the phone. "How was the wedding reception?"
"Gautami, can you tell me what my reputation among our friends is these days?" I asked quickly. "And be truthful. I can handle it."
It was silence at Gautami's end. "Somebody said something to you, didn't they?" She asked. "Oh... Ishi..."
"Just tell me."
"It's not good. People are saying you stole Rihan from Suhani. I mean... did you?"
It hurt that even she thought like that. But what was my excuse? That they were broken up for five months. That Suhani cheated first. I wiped my tears.
"We are together, yes," I said. "But... I did not seduce him or... stole him..." He seduced me if we need to blame someone.
"Anyway, people have a very bad image of you right now," Gautami said. "Why would you date Rihan? Even if they were broken up. It's Rihan..."
"Right?" I laughed through my tears.
"Ishi... I am so sorry. I am sure it is not your fault. I know you. But you know how the world is. It never blames the guy. It always just blames the women... And we are unfortunate that we were born female..."
I never regretted being a female. Not even when I was groped on a bus or whistled at by guys on the streets. So I won't regret it even now.
"It's their fault if they want to blame the woman automatically," I said. "And for the record Rihan kissed me first."
"Okay," Gautami said.
"That is not an excuse though..." I added. "I let him."
In the background, a baby began to cry.
"Oh! I need to go. The baby woke up. But hey, you take care, okay? I hope things clear out for you."
I nodded. She hung up.
I lay down on my bed.
So, I was the bitch and the slut in the story now. What a world.
Chapter 24.5
My phone was ringing
It was Suhani calling
I hesitated...
What does she want?
I took the call – "Hello"
"Hey..." her voice was soft.
"Hm?'
"It was nice seeing you yesterday..."
I stayed silent.
Something hurt inside me.
"Rihan..."
"Yeah..."
"I am sorry..."
She was crying...
And things started to soften up inside me