Warning⚠️ This chapter will contain lots of mature stuff, mentions of drugs, suicide, which might trigger some readers so, if you are not comfortable or underage then, don't read further or you can skip this chapter if you want, I'm warning again.
Don't come to tell me later that, why didn't I put any warning.
Wear headphones, keep the volume low and read the chapter to feel it❤️
Taehyung's Pov
" I used to have a little brother who died just because of me." I widen my eyes.
"What?" She sighs and inhales deeply.
"Don't be surprised yet, there are more ways to go, just let me know if you can accept my past or not, if you feel disgusted or begins to hate me then, I will leave and will respect your decision." She says with straight voice and my eyes go wide again, there is no way I will hate her or let her leave. Clutching her cheek gently, I make her look at me, she has fear on her eyes, I can clearly see that. I plant a soft kiss on her cheek then, nose tip.
"You can say everything to me, trust me I won't hate you." I assure her and smile at her warmly. She gulps nervously.
"Don't make any decision fast, Tae, it's not so good one and—" I place my index above her lips and shush her.
"Trust me." I assure her, she sigh and takes the cigarette between her lips, inhaling the smoke which is irritating me.
"I was born and raised in Daegu, my father was a journalist and mother was a nurse in a local hospital, I had a brother. His name was Soobin, We didn't have had so good relationship between us as we always fight, argued all day, but he always supported me in every single matter, no matter what, at the end of the day, he was my cute baby brother whom I adored the most but he died in front of my eyes, I let him die. I have seen everything how he got killed by stabbing enormous times, his soft whimpers are still buzzing in my ears, all he wanted to just protect me but he died, he was only 11 when he got killed." She paused, I see her tears are rolling down to her cheeks, she begins to inhale and exhale deeply, soon the cigarette in her hand finished and she places it on the ashtray, then burn another cigarette. surely she has gone through a lot, by her talking style and body posture, I can clearly assume that easily.
"We didn't have had healthy family, I and Soobin always watched our parents are fighting over simple stuff. They didn't have time for us as they were too busy with their work, when I was 15, Soobin was 9, my father died by a heart attack, he was arguing with my mom, he found out that she cheated behind him, my dad couldn't take that anymore." a soft sob escapes from her mouth and I clutch her hand, interlock our fingers and give a little pressure.
"When I turned 16, one day my mother came home with a very handsome guy and introduced him as her boyfriend, I couldn't believe it, I know my dad wasn't good towards her, he didn't take good care of us but he was my dad, right? How could I accept another person as my father that easily? The guy was around 45 but he was very handsome, decent, a fine man and yes, rich." She chuckles. "At first I couldn't accept him but he always looked after me and Soobin pretty much goodly, left no opportunity of complaining anything for something, I still couldn't accept that guy because he was the person for whom my father died and my mom cheated. Though Soobin accepted him but I didn't, he always smiled whenever he talked, he always tried to show affection towards us but I never accepted his affection." She burs her 4th cigarette, though it's irritating me and I'm totally against it but I'm not stopping her, she needs it now.
"When I was finally 17, I felt soft towards him as I thought that he always genuinely care for us, and for Soobin, I accepted him but that was my biggest mistake." She grits her teeth.
"One day, I was being ready for my work, I worked in a cafe for my own pocket money and school fees as I never took a single penny from my mom and her boyfriend after my dad died." I feel she is shaking a bit so, I wrap my hand around her waist and pull her closer.
"My mom wasn't home, Soobin was in school, That bastard! That bastard took that opportunity and...and raped me that day, ." I widen my eyes and look at her in disbelief, am I hearing right?
"He didn't stop there, he recorded an intimate moment of me and my ex-boyfriend so that, I can't say anything to anyone. He blackmailed me every time whenever I tried to say something to my mom." She sobs loudly and I grit my teeth.
"I still tried to say everything to my mom but she misunderstood me and said I'm doing all of these because I'm jealous of her that she got a good, caring boyfriend and they are going to get married soon." She sobs loudly and bite her lower lip hard. I got speechless here.
"That fucker raped me every single fucking night. He-he drugged my mom so that, she can't wake up at night and find out about his dirty work but one day—" she pauses and bite her lower lip.
"Soobin saw everything, that bastard did everything in front of my brother. Can you just tell me how could he do that? He was a kid and he raped me in front of him, he tried to protest but that fucker tied up him and—" She hides her face with her palms and crying loudly, I gulp nervously, still processing everything, did that fucker died or still alive? If he is still alive then I will find that motherfucker no matter what. if I have to search for the whole world even the hell, I will find him and give him the painful death that he has to remind that even after his death.
"Soobin only comforted me that day, that day I realized that he always, always cared for me and more mature than me, he said 'Nini, don't worry, I'll protect you from that monster.' he didn't even cry you know? Just for me, just to encourage me. He tried to tell everything to the police but that fucker threatened him too by saying that he will kill me if he wants to utter a single word, we were helpless." She cries out loud. I'm not saying anything but hearing.
"H-he could have stopped there but he used me for his business deal, he started drugging me heavily so that I can't protest, he send me to their private room and those old guys—” She clutches her left chest and sobbing continuously, I pull her closer to my chest and hug her tightly.
"I don't know how many guys touched me, I-I feel disgusted, Taehyung." She clutches my shirt tightly and I'm patting her head, anger is building up inside me. I'm feeling like as if I could rip out their souls right here, right now in front of her eyes.
"One morning when I return from a hotel, I see some guys are holding my baby brother and choking him, I tried to run near him but that fucker stopped me, I was drugged so badly that, they kill...they kill my brother in front of my eyes, stabbed him until he dies but I did nothing just stared at them." She is hiccuping now, I don't know how should I react actually, my heart is aching now.
"He begged them, he screamed with all of his lungs but they didn't hear anything, his last words are still buzzing in my ears." She hiccups loudly, my t-shirt has already soaked by her tears, I really can't take this anymore.
"Nini, I don't want to die, please help me, please tell them not to kill me, please, let me live." I squeeze her more to me, I feel my eyes are getting blurry, tears accumulated in the corner of my eyes too and tears are begging to roll down from my eyes.
"That was his last words, but I couldn't save him that day, I didn't even react when he died, all I did was seen everything calmly, that was the reaction of the intense drug. When my mom finally arrived there, he was already gone and my whole dress was soaked in his blood, I was holding that knife by which they used to kill him, I wasn't crying, I was just seeing his lifeless body, that bastard acted like he did nothing and I was the one who murdered Soobin." She pauses, I'm massaging her scalp to calm her down but it isn't working.
"Even mom didn't believe me that day, he believed that bastard over me, the next morning...police arrested me."
"What? They arrested you and no one protested?" I clench my jaw, she shakes her head.
"The court declared five years of prison as I was still child according to the law, they transferred me to Seoul brunch. No one helped me, you know? No one fight for me that time with this case." I can't believe my ears what I'm hearing.
"I was final year in high school that time so, the authority managed to finish my high school session, I started my school but I was already a murderer to everyone so, all my friends cut off their relation with me, except Hobi and Lia, all the students scared of me, they acted like I was some kind of psycho who will kill everyone if they come near me." I wipe her tears and make her look at me.
"You need a break." She shakes her head as no.
"No, I'm not done yet." I sigh deeply.
"I got bullied by everyone, even the teachers of my school started hating me and looked at me with full of disgust." She sobs. My throat is becoming heavy now, I'm trying my best not to cry out loudly.
"While I was in the prison, I don't know why they always drugged me like that bastard did. I got tortured by those prison mates too, they tortured me in every possible way they could, they intentionally organized wrestling matches and insisted myself to fight with them but I failed as I was drugged heavily always and as a punishment, they punched, kicked enormous times until I pass out and made me feed..my own blood sometimes—" She bursts into tears again and I feel something hot liquid on my cheeks, I'm crying, this is too much for me, in my illegal life, I tortured so many peoples, watch them cry, listened to their whimpers but nothing affected me but today, I feel my heart is going to explode anytime by feeling this pain.
"After spending two years in prison, someone finally re-opened the case and that was Hoseok's father, But nothing much happened." She chuckles suddenly.
"They just proved that I was heavily drugged and wasn't in a stable position, that's why I killed my own brother but they did fail to prove that I didn't kill him. Again, that bastard used his power to get rid of this case, the case was closed again."
"When I was 20, I was released from the prison and went back to Daegu but no one accepted me, I also found out that, that fucker made my mother mentally insane and sent her to a mental hospital. I was so angry at her that I didn't visit her. I was still a murderer to the whole community, they didn't even let me attend my brother's funeral, didn't let me visit his grave, I begged, I cried, I tried to convince them but they never allowed me." I again pull her closer to my chest tightly. It's feeling like someone is continuously stabbing on my heart, is this how someone feels when they see that their nearest person is in pain who is living in their heart?
"I insisted on myself to change my identity, my name and came to Seoul, Hoseok and Lia helped me for that, I was addicted to drugs so, I have to go in rehab on regular basis for counseling." her body jerks up a bit. Wait, if she changed her name then, how did her mom know her name? I clearly remembered that day when she visited her mom and her mom called her by her present name, is that mean someone is visiting her on regular basis but she doesn't know?
"I admitted to Seoul National University and got a full scholarship as I was a good student, there I met with Yoongi, he was my senior but in another department, he helped me a lot to get rid of my traumatized dark life, he was like a tiny bit of shiny ray of sunlight in my life but he also cheated." She says and sobs softly, she has gone through a so lot that, if I say a huge easy to confess my feelings about this, it will be less and besides, I don't want her to think that I'm pitying her, no, I don't dare to do that, my tears have already dried and I'm sure the stain is visible there now.
"I just want to go to visit there, I don't even know where they burry him, my baby brother, my Soobin, my everything, he got killed because he tried to call the police and tried to tell everything, they could just torture me or kill me instead of him but they killed him." She breaks the hug and looks at me, she is a total mess.
"How could they do that, Taehyung?" I don't know how to comfort her actually.
"I'm the reason why Soobin died, I let him die, Taehyung, I let him die, how could I do this? He begged me, Taehyung, he wanted to live but I let him die, still, his memories are hunting me like a dark horse, I would never be able to forgive myself, Tae, never!" She clenches her fist on my tee and jerking me continuously.
"I tried to kill myself but I failed because of Hoseok and Lia, they didn't let me die that day, only if they would not arrive there then, I could have just jumped from the roof and kill myself and ended everything. I can't take this burden anymore." I clench my jaw and cup her cheeks.
"Look at me Nini, look! It wasn't your fault, don't blame yourself like this, please" I gulp, she is sobbing, hiccuping continuously.
"Soobin, he died, he would never back to me, never!" She screams and cries out loudly.
"I'm a murderer, Taehyung, I'm, I let him die that day, Taehyung."
"Nini, stop, please stop blaming yourself, it wasn't your fault, Nini. Don't do this please—" my voice crack, I'm crying again. This is hurting me badly, I can't see her like this.
"No, no! I killed him, I-I won't be able to forgive myself." I place my hand below her knees and lift up in my lap then, hug her more tightly and start to pat her back while crying endlessly, I let my tears roll down.
"T-tae, I-I'm—"
"Shh! You don't have to say anything." she tries to break the hug but I clutch her more tightly to remain her in position.
"S-soobin..would never forgive me, he hates me." She breathes out.
"He doesn't hate you, angel." I kiss her head while massaging her back.
"I'm a bad sister, I failed to protect my brother." She whispers, talking like something already drenched her all power, all strength.
"No, you aren't." I kiss her hair. There are lots of questions running on my mind but it's not the best idea to ask her now.
"Why didn't they just let me die that day, why?" she whispers again, I feel a clench on my heart.
"Don't dare to think about that." I squeeze her more, she is mumbling something but that's not clear what is she saying actually.
After a long time, I feel she stopped crying and breathing lowly now.
"What's your real name?" I suddenly ask her.
"Park Aeri." I widen my eyes after hearing her name, did I hear the name right? Aeri?
"Nini, did you ever—" I stopped when I see she is sleeping peacefully now in my chest while clutching my tee tightly, her lips are in 'O' shape and she is looking like a child.
"Does that mean she is the girl whom....to be continued!
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A/N: Did you like the cliffhanger?