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The sun beat down on Stacey's skin as she sat on the grass during her PE class. She was too mentally exhausted to do her laps today. The gym teacher wasn't even paying attention to the students, so she knew she wouldn't have to make them up.
As she ran her hand through the turf field, three shadows loomed over her before sitting down. Jane, Layla, and Simone all formed a circle with Stacey on the ground.
"You okay?" asked Simone. She could from Stacey's expression that she wasn't herself.
Stacey rubbed her temple. "I'm decent, but Liv isn't. You know the bodycam footage that got leaked of Tamika?" Everyone nodded. "Olivia was the one who leaked it."
All three girls eyes widened.
"No way."
"You're serious?"
"Laura's gotta be pissed."
"Oh, she is," emphasized Stacey. "Laura and Billy. I was up in Jordan's room and could still hear them arguing."
"What I would've done to be a fly on that wall," joked Layla.
"How long did it go for?" asked Jane.
Stacey sighed. "Well...I left at eleven and they were still going at it."
All girls shook their heads in disbelief. Besides Olivia's relapse confession, this was one of the Baker family's biggest fights.
"Um, how's Liv?" asked Layla.
Stacey looked across at Layla, surprised. "You still haven't called her at all?"
Layla shook her head. "I don't think she needs a phone call from me."
"Liv did some messed up stuff to me...but I found a way to reach some sort of forgiveness with her. She wasn't in the right state of mind. Plus, it feels good not hating someone who's been such an important person in my life. If I can find it in my heart to forgive her for sending pics to a gossip website, you can too."
"I don't know..." Layla trailed off.
"She has no one right now. Laura isn't forgiving her for a bit," said Stacey. She looks around at everyone. "She needs us. She needs her friends."
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Stacey continued to tap her pen on her notebook as she stared across the table at Jordan. The Boulevard was somewhat busy on a weekday, mostly filled with Beverly High students getting their homework done or playing pool.
Her Chemistry homework was halfway done before she noticed the quietness of her boyfriend across from her. His eyes never left his laptop and notebook. He barely spoke five words to her in the last hour. She wanted to think he was just concentrating, but the continuous scowl on his face said otherwise.
"I was thinking you could come to brunch next Monday with me, Ash, and my dad?" offered Stacey, trying to break the ice.
"Sure," he simply replied.
"I'm glad you two are getting along. It's great," she continued.
"Mhm," he mumbled.
Stacey huffed, shutting Jordan's laptop. He looked up at her. "Why would you do that?"
"I feel like there's a brick wall between us and I don't like it," she scolded, keeping her voice down so no one heard their conversation.
Jordan sighed, a guilty expression on his face. "I'm sorry. I-I just hate my life right now. Nothing is going right."
"We're doing good," she corrects him. "I know everything is hard for you right now, but you have me. I'm not going anywhere."
Jordan nodded. "I know that and I love you so much for dealing with my mess."
"Your mess is my mess," she reaches her hand across the table to hold Jordan's but he slowly retracts it.
"Stacey...do you see us together in the future?" he asks.
"Of course," she quickly replies.
"How? I can't provide for you," he states.
Stacey raises an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
Jordan ran a hand through his hair, barely making eye contact with her. Stacey tried not to freak out just yet, but he always did this when he was nervous.
"Babe...football was my future. That's been taken away from me. How am I supposed to be a good boyfriend in the future? Good husband? I can't be the best person for you if my dream of football is gone."
Stacey wanted to yell at him for saying all of those things, tell him he was overreacting, but she had to remember that Jordan has had football all of his life. It was put into his brain at a young age the dream of making it into the NFL. Coming off a state championship and having a great senior year only made that dream come closer for Jordan. In a night, it was stripped away from him. She tried to see his side, putting herself in his mindset, but the way he was acting so cold all of a sudden wasn't sitting right with her.
She reached across the table and grabbed his hand again. He let her hold it this time. "I don't care where you work in the future; whether it's playing football or working in a cubicle, I don't care. What matters is that you'd be with me and we'd be in love. That's all I want."
She continued, "And I know the football thing and your family drama is taking a toll on you, but you have to remember that I'm here for you. You're never alone. Stop trying to push everything good out of your life when things got hard. You deserve all the happiness you receive and more."
Jordan's hand relaxed under her's. "You're way too perfect for me."
"No, I just know what to say," smiled Stacey. "I know our relationship has been through a lot, but we're finally in a good place. We got through this hurdle together, without yelling or lying to one another."
"I know and I'm sorry for all of that. I just needed to tell you how I was feeling," stated Jordan. "I don't know what my life is like without football in it. It's weird."
"You don't have to explain, I get it. I was at most of your games because of Ash. I saw the way you were on that field; it was like a second home to you," explained Stacey. "And I hate saying this, but you're going to have to learn to feel at home somewhere else. Just for right now, at least."
Jordan solemnly nodded, but his face lit up a bit. "I already have a home."
Stacey chuckled, wondering how he came up with that so fast. "And where might that be?"
Jordan placed his other hand over her's and leaned a bit over the table. He whispered, "With you."
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Although Stacey and Jordan's conversation went in the right direction the previous day, it didn't help to see her brother and Jordan arguing in the hallway. She didn't get into the middle of the mess, but she did hear Asher notice Jordan's distant behavior.
"You barely hang with us anymore and you're bringing my sister down with you!" Asher had scolded him.
Jordan seemed like he resisted not to yell at him, but his voice was still distressed. "I'm sorry I'm messing everything up! I'm sorry for being a bad friend, bad boyfriend, bad son. God, you don't know how hard this is for me to keep a smile on my face!"
Stacey had enough at that point and barged in. She was about to drag Jordan out with her, but he mumbled he'd be in the car and took off.
"I was just trying to look out for you," defended Asher once he saw his sister's glare.
"I know and I appreciate that, but don't provoke him right now. He'll say things he doesn't mean," said Stacey.
"Why doesn't he understand that we're here for him?" wondered Asher. "He's not alone in this. You told me he seemed better yesterday and then I get this outburst from him?"
Stacey did admit it seemed odd for Jordan to lash out again when he reassured her last night his newfound home was with her. Maybe it was just in the height of the moment that he felt somewhat better. Then, when he had gotten home, he had time to think of everything happening again. His depression of losing football and not being himself had relapsed.
She didn't know what to do at first. It was a quiet ride back to her house. Jordan gave her a simple kiss on the cheek and asked her if she needed a ride to the game tonight.
"Jane's actually picking me up," she said.
She was about to take back what she said when Jordan's face fell, but he drove off before she could change her mind.
After thinking of ways to help Jordan, she came up with a reasonable plan. Now, here she was knocking on Spencer James' door. She hasn't been here since Darnell's going away party, which felt like forever ago.
Stacey realized she forgot to text him she was coming over when he opened the door and his face was taken aback.
"Ms.Beverly! What you doing over here?" he chuckled, opening the door to let her in.
He enveloped her in a hug. She missed Spencer so much. Yes, they still texted every day and saw each other at The Boulevard when he worked, but it was different than seeing him every day at school. He would always mess with her or say the funniest things.
Once Spencer pulled away and saw the forced smile on his best friend's face, he frowned. "What's wrong? Here, come sit. You want water or anything?"
Stacey shook her head. "I'm good, thanks Spence. It's amazing to see you and I'm sorry I haven't come by sooner."
Spencer waved her off. "No no, you're good. We've both been busy and at least we see each other at The Boulevard." He sat down next to her on the couch. "Seriously though, what's bothering you?"
Stacey sighed. "I always feel bad asking for favors, but Jordan is in a spiral right now. One day he's good and making progress, then the next he's preaching about how is life is over. I love him and I know he's trying not to hurt me, but I don't know how to truly help him with this. I never lost a big part of my life before. Then, I remembered how you went through this when you got shot and thought you lost football forever as well."
Spencer nodded, knowing where this was going. "You want me to talk to him?"
She nodded. "I know you can get through to him. You two have such a brotherly bond and he listens to you and respects you."
"Of course I will. You know I always got Jordan's back," said Spencer.
"How's Liv?" he asked, changing the topic.
Stacey smirked, but only for the way Spencer's face lit up at the mention of her name. "She's grounded. She feels bad about doing that to her mom when Laura was trying to get the cops fired and prosecuted."
Spencer nodded. "I just hope she gets through this. She's been through so much lately."
"You are down tremendously, Spencer James," she chuckled.
Spencer nudged her side with his elbow. "Says the one who's on her hundredth try with Jordan."
Stacey blushed. "Oh hush."