tw- y/n has a panic attack in this chapter
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emily's pov
i decided to have a catch up with the team whilst i was out so it was about 7pm when i got back to the apartment. i walk in and see y/n curled up into alex's side, fast asleep. alex had an arm around her, rubbing her shoulder and a book in the other hand. i closed the door quietly and placed the shopping bags on the kitchen counter before putting everything away.
"hey." i whisper to alex.
"hi, emily. she's been out for a while." she replies, closing her book and motioning to y/n.
we both watch her for a few minutes, smiling at the sight. she looked so peaceful when she slept.
"it's getting late, do you need to get off?" i asked.
"yes, but i don't want to wake her, i don't mind staying a bit longer."
"it's ok i'll swap places with you. thank you for coming today, i know it meant a lot to her." i smile, walking over to the sofa.
"i'm glad i could, i've been really worried about her. it does make me feel better knowing she isn't alone, you're a very good friend, emily."
"thank you alex." i smile.
"my flight home isn't until tomorrow afternoon so i'll come back to say goodbye to y/n in the morning, if that's ok?" she says.
"of course it is!"
we slowly switch positions so y/n is now laying on me. alex grabs her bag and heads to the door. we say our goodbyes and she quietly leaves.
i watch y/n as she sleeps. her chest rising and falling at a steady pace, her eyes slightly fluttering as if she's dreaming. she looked so comfortable. i place a kiss on her forehead, which makes her snuggle into me more, and i fall asleep myself.
y/n's pov
i woke up in a cold sweat, hyperventilating. i can feel someone's arms around me. the last thing i remember was crying into alex's shoulder, but, by the familiar scent i could smell, i knew it was emily holding me. she was asleep. i didn't want to wake her but as my breathing quickened, i started feeling claustrophobic. i carefully remove myself from her arms and sit on the floor whilst i attempt to control my breaths.
i bring my knees to my chest and rocked myself back and forth, repeating 'you're ok, you're ok' out loud over and over.
my heavy breathing filled my ears and it was the only sound i could focus on. tears stream down my face as the panic attack intensifies.
"in, 2, 3, 4." i shakily whisper. "out, 2, 3, 4."
it doesn't work. i squeeze myself into a ball, still rocking at a steady pace. i'd had a lot of panic attacks in my sleep before, it was a response to past trauma. waking up in one and feeling the emotions and symptoms overwhelm you all at once was one of the worst things to go through.
"y/n?" i hear from behind me. "hey it's ok, it's ok."
emily moves to the space on the floor next to me. i don't acknowledge her presence until she grabs my arms, making me release the grip around my legs. i look at her, helpless, as if the world was going to end.
just like she has many times before, she takes my hands in hers and takes slow, deep breaths for me to copy.
"that's it, focus on your breathing. that's the only thing that matters right now ok? just deep breaths, in and out."
i don't know how she does it but she helped me get my breathing back to a steadier pace.
"are you ok?" she asks.
i nod my head, my mouth was so dry i was unable to speak.
"do you wanna talk about it?"
i shake my head.
"that's ok. let's get a drink then go to bed." she says softly.
emily gets me a glass of water and i take a few sips. then she helps me up and leads us to my bedroom, keeping a firm hold of my hand until we reach the bed. i get in one side and she gets in the other.
i curl up into a ball with my back facing her, pulling the covers up to my face. i feel some extra warmth and comfort as emily moves herself closer to me. my back pressed against her chest. she rests her arm over my body and her hand on top of mine, brushing her thumb over the back of my knuckles.