•OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA•
Julia POV
Never.
As long as I have been Monroe Rivers, Andres has never gone missing on us.
Sure there were times when we wouldn't have a full conversations for months; but he checked in, kept me updated, and sent Nicolai and I things.
For a week and a half my heart has been filling with desperate worry and the run-in with Gianni only compounded that festering feeling.
My leg bounced for attention as I picked at the blue polish on my nails. Maybe coming here was a mistake. Everything I did lately seemed to be a mistake.
I ran my eyes over Dr.Sullivan's white pin cushioned couch still reeling from our last exercise. Mid-day sun poured in, attempting to be inviting, but forced me to be more reclusive.
"You're doing very good Monroe, ready for something else?"
My anxiety spiked as Dr. Sullivan's too-calm-for-comfort voice floated across the room -interrupting my racing thoughts. I didn't want to go to her, but even I knew it wouldn't be smart not to get help.
Especially after last night.
~•flashback•~
"Get in."
The exploding sound of Gianni releasing his gun's safety rung in my ears and my neck froze as I turned my eyes from side to side.
"Julia! I shot you once, don't make me do it again. I just want to talk."
"How do I know I can trust you?"
"I think you owe me that gamble. I'm not going to tell you again to get in."
I sighed, hesitantly stepping forward and reached for the door handle.
Taking off sounded so good right about now. Yeah, he might try to run me down, but then who would he talk to?- my corpse? Still, I really wanted to see what he would say to me. Curious Cat syndrome I suppose.
I crinkled my lip and I hopped in, defeated. He locked the doors as soon as it closed behind me and took off down the street. He had a large bruise on his jaw and a dried gash on the side of his forehead.
Gianni and I had about as long of a relationship as me and Andres. He was their cousin after all- a few years older than my ex and possessed investigative skills from Heaven. His father was still back in Sicily, but Franco said Gianni would be more useful in the states- at least that's what Andres told me.
Besides handling territory control and being my stand-in chauffeur, he also had the job of "babysitting" me while I was pregnant with my first child and too sick to do anything.
He was truly family.
As the street transitioned from businesses to a blank highway lined with street lights, my palms, underarms, and back moistened.
Gianni pulled to the side, just shy of one the lights, hiding us within a shadow. Keeping his gaze forward, he turned off the engine and pulled the keys from the ignition.
"I hadn't planned on hurting you back there, but when I saw you...with the Russo boy. It's...I don't understand. How could you go against the family?"
"I'm not going against the family -and what about you? Why are you snooping around Russo territory?"
"I'm handling business for Adrian- didn't think I'd find you."
I gave a curious stare.
"I was there that night, you know. I saw your car get shot up." His eyes squinted as if I would disappear if he looked hard enough.
I kept my mouth wired.
"Adrian tried to kill himself over you."
"He killed my child. So I'd say he's off to a good start." I replied flatly.
"Didn't you think about us? Don, Andres, Celina, Bianca,....me? Your death crushed us Julia." His words dropped into a sympathetic octave as his eyes searched my face for compassion.
As much as I could have resonated with the feeling of betrayal Gianni felt, my misery and the threat on my life superseded his temporary sadness.
"Gianni, I didn't mean for my death to be such an emotional burden, but I don't regret my actions. You didn't know my life behind closed doors. The amount of terror I endured, the constant worry that my child would be taken away from me, just to lie there while my worst fear came true." My voice hitched as I beat down the lump in my throat.
Gianni handed me a tissue from the box in the backseat as he folded his arms, "Drop the theatrics. I know Adrian and I knew you. Anything you didn't like, you spoke up about it. You dated Adrian - you married him. You knew what this life was and could cost."
I snatched the tissue from his fingers and wiped my eyes.
"One thing I'm still curious about. You're smart, but I know you didn't do this alone. Who helped you?" A smirk curved his mouth.
Silence.
I assumed a neutral position, staring directly in front of me. A strike of sorts.
"Was it Francesco? Roman? Luca?" Gianni leaned in until his face peeked into my peripheral the way he did years ago when my poor moods would get me like this.
Silence.
"No, couldn't have been them. You need someone with access without it being obvious."
Silence.
"Andres?"
My jaw clenched and I prayed hard that Gianni's hawk eyes hadn't noticed.
"Wow. All makes sense now. Couldn't even go for a cousin?"
"Why are you riding for him so hard? He make you second in command or something?" I spat and cut my eyes at him referring to my ex.
"No, I'm just not real big on trusting dead women who blithely parade around with a rival family's Underboss."
"I told you...it's complicated!" I screamed and threw a punch at his jaw.
Gianni grabbed my arms mid-swing, pushing me back into the seat.
"I'm sure Adrian would love to hear how complicated it is."
"You wouldn't..."
"I might. I am trying to make nice with the new Don. This would definitely earn me brownie points."
I paused, "New...you mean? Don Franco promoted him already?"
Andres said it would be at least another year before that happened.
"He didn't have a choice, Adrian made sure of that." Gianni scoffed and I thought I noticed a flash of indignation.
"Is this why you took me? To scold me about my survival story, threaten to turn me in, and tell me that man weaseled his way to power?"
"....No." his eyes looked me up and down as if remembering the point of my presence and he sat upright in his seat.
"Don Franco is dead.....and Andres is next."
~•flashback end•~
"Monroe?"
I winced, "Yeah. I'm ready..."
Dr. Sullivan gave a wry smile, "You're doing very well. We're going to tap more into those emotions of yours- getting to the root of the issue."
I nodded.
"Close your eyes and think of a time when you had little control of what was going on around you."
I hated how easy she made it seem like this was supposed to be for me. Living with my ex meant living with the Devil, and everyday was like being in a car that wouldn't come off of cruise control.
"Just one time?" I opened one of my eyes.
"Yes, it can be as mild or severe as you choose."
I chuckled to myself. Mild or severe, as if there was an option. I took a cleansing breath as my mind dredged up a buried memory.
A/N: smash that star y'all haha.
Hope you enjoyed and all had a safe weekend! I'll be over here eating some cake and watching Loki.
Peace lovelies!! 😘