AN: This is a chapter from Shelby's POV. I debated it but I didn't think you'd want a whole chapter of Toni just being ill and I didn't really want to write that lol. We are in Shelby's mind now so expect some internalised homophobia and such Shelby related things x
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Shelby reread her last message to Toni.
Shelby: I wouldn't believe me either.
Followed by:
Shelby: I'll pick you up for school tomorrow.
Two hours had passed and Toni had still not responded. Maybe she fell asleep? It was only 10pm when she sent it and she knew for a fact that Toni was a night owl.
She tried not to think too much into it but she found herself restless through the night. Was she too forward? Did she sound desperate? Lord she wished she hadn't sent that stupid text. She resisted the urge to send another message backtracking. She couldn't help but think that Toni suggested friends because she really didn't want to be anything more. The night before their big assignment was really not the time to be pushing the boundaries of their friendship. Waves of shame rolled over her for even sending the message in the first place. She thought she was matching Toni's tone but now all she could think about was how evidence of her... impure feelings were right there on the screen. The more she read it the more sick she felt.
Self-acceptance was much harder without Toni's validation.
Now that she had acted on these feelings it felt like pandora's box, like she could never go back and close it again, and had just guaranteed herself a hard life. A profane life.
As she was rereading her text once again at 1am her phone dinged in her hand. A new message popping up on the already open chat with Toni.
Oh no! Toni's gonna see that I read that immediately.
Though, once she read Toni's message she felt the veil of shame and humiliation lift just slightly, replaced by worry.
Toni: Shelbs I'm sick I d ont know if ill make it tmmorow.
Was she drunk? That seemed unlikely, she knew how much was riding on tomorrow for Toni so she would never risk a hangover.
Then again she didn't really know if Toni would risk that, she didn't really know her. But she felt like she did and she felt like something was wrong.
Shelby: Toni are you okay?
Shelby bit her lip and waited. Her whole body started to tremble slightly. The three dots appeared on her dimly lit screen indicating that Toni was typing. They disappeared and reappeared several times before Shelby's phone rang loudly in her hand. It was Toni.
She rushed to answer, praying desperately that her parents hadn't heard it.
"Toni?" she whispered through the phone.
The line was quiet for a moment.
A clattering sound echoed through the phone followed by, "Hey Shelbs."
Toni sounded terrible. Her voice was rough, horse and barely a whisper loud.
"What happened? You were fine this afternoon?"
"Carol-" A dull thump cut off Toni's words. It sounded like she dropped her phone.
"Toni? Are you okay?"
The only response was a muted retching. Shelby winced in empathy, pulled the phone away from her ear and waited for Toni to come back to the phone.
A few moments passed before Shelby heard a distant voice coming from her phone.
"- Poisoned me." Toni finished, unaware that Shelby hadn't heard the first part.
"Are you o- Wait, who did what!" Shelby exclaimed not quite registering what Toni told her for a moment, and nearly raising her voice to a volume that her parent's might hear. She dropped back down to a whisper, "You were poisoned? Toni, shit! I'm calling 911."
"Shelby, wait! Stop. I'll be fine. Don't freak out but Carol put something in my food to basically ruin my chances of getting back on the team. I'm not sure what though." Just as Shelby was about to answer even more distressed than before Toni hurriedly added, "But don't worry, Carol gets nothing out of... you know... hospitalising me." It was very obvious that Toni was being careful with her words but Shelby saw beyond it. She was referring to murder. Unlikely murder, but the fact that the thought of it had crossed Toni's mind sent chills through her whole body.
Shelby was speechless. She had to get Toni out of that house. Everything she had heard about Toni's home life with Carol was awful but actually poisoning her? That is sick on a different level. That is the kind of abuse that takes thought, planning and time. It is not some spur of the moment beating that could later be regretted.
Not only had Toni been literally poisoned, but she additionally had no chance of passing the assignment. She had to be there to get a grade, if she's not then Shelby gets all the credit. Shelby's mind started running a mile a minute. She knew that Toni would never let her call 911. It was too risky. But at the very least she could fix the issue with the assignment and get Toni back on the team.
"Carol won't call you in sick will she?"
"No, I think she is going to say I've refused to come into school or something to make sure that they fail me for unexplained absence."
Shelby racked her brain for some kind of solution but the only thing she could think of was proving that Toni was actually sick and not just a unmotivated student. "Is there really no way for you to go to the emergency room?"
Deep, shaky, breaths came through the speaker. Shelby waited, Toni was probably battling a bout of nausea. Toni cleared her throat. "No. Definitely not. The doctors could see the bruises and the fact that Carol didn't take me herself. My social worker would be roped in and that woman hates me. I'd still be sent away. Also I think it is just food poisoning."
"Wait, what bruises? You never said that she had been recently hurting you."
"Shelby, just-" Toni hiccupped. "-I'll tell you everything when I'm better. And I don't want your help."
That stung. But she shrugged it off immediately. Her feelings were not important right now. "You called me Toni. I think you want help."
Shelby expected Toni to lash out but instead a sob sounded through the speaker. Followed by another. "Hey you'll be okay. We'll figure this out," Shelby soothed. "I know you don't want other people involved but I'm going to ring Dot. She is good with medicine right? She might be able to help you."
Toni didn't argue back. "Yeah. Okay please."
"Okay. I'll do that. Without doctors note, the only way you are going to be able to prove you're actually too sick to do the presentation is to turn up at school. But honestly I'm not sure Toni." Shelby had no idea how to make this situation better for Toni. She didn't really have anything to offer the situation. "I'll do what I can."
"Maybe Dot will get me better enough to actually to the presentation tomorrow," Toni added sarcastically with a watery laugh.
"Yeah, maybe," Shelby said gently. "I'm going to ring her now. Call me anytime."
Toni hung up right after that.
Shelby didn't waste a minute searching through her contact to find Dot.
She picked up before the third ring. "Well, if it isn't Toni's totally unexpected new bestie. To what do I owe the pleasure?" She sounded wide awake.
"Dot," Shelby sighed in relief. Comforted by the inclusion of someone else in this situation so she was not the only one dealing with it.
Dot's tone of voice immediately turned concerned. "Shelby is everything okay? Is Toni okay?"
"Not really." She quickly rushed out the whole story, barely taking a breath between sentences. "Carol poisoned Toni. She thinks it's food poisoning somehow. She is really sick but is refusing to go to the hospital for the same reason she refuses to get any sort of help for herself. She's going to miss the presentation tomorrow meaning she's not going to get back on the basketball team. She says she doesn't want any help and that she can handle it herself but I can tell she is really scared and I don't know what to do." Shelby sucked in a huge breath after her spiel.
"Fuck! Okay let me think." Then silence. "I'm going to drive over there with some supplies to help her. maybe if we can reduce the nausea we can get her into school for the assignment but food poisoning is tricky, you never know how long it will last."
"But what if Carol catches you?" Shelby didn't want to put Carol's reaction above Toni's health but she knew deep down that Carol's reactions had a direct impact on Toni's health. It was especially on her mind after leaning that Toni had been hiding some of Carol's more recent abuse, leading her to wonder where Carol's anger was stemming from. Did she know about Shelby sneaking in and out of the house?
"She won't catch me. I'm just going to drop what Toni needs through the bathroom window with some instructions then I'll go. I'll swing by in the morning to pick her up for school. If she's still too sick then I'll ditch with her but hopefully the anti-nausea meds will kick in enough so that she can give this presentation."
"Do you think it will work?" Shelby was doubtful. Toni sounded so unwell on the phone.
"It fucking has to. She needs basketball. She needs the outlet. If she is going to get through this year without getting expelled or sent to a group home in a different state, it has to work."
Shelby nodded to herself. "Do you think we are doing the right thing? Not telling anyone I mean?"
Dot sighed. "No. I don't. But based on what Toni has told me, telling someone would also not be the right thing. I don't think there is a right way. At the moment I think the best thing we can do is keep her as safe as possible and pray that she comes out the other side with in one piece and with her head still on straight."
"That's a pretty low bar."
"I know. Look, I'm gonna go drop this stuff of to Toni. I'll text you later and keep you updated with everything I know."
"Okay thank you."
"Oh, and Shelby? Whatever is going on between you and Toni is good for her. She seems happier. Just, don't hurt her, alright? She doesn't need another person in her life that's going to let her down."
Shelby tried to ignore the implication that something more than friends was going on between them. It was true but the possibility of someone else knowing that send a jolt of anxiety through her. That was exactly why she didn't think she could make that promise. There were so many feelings involved in their relationship that were impossible without hurt. They already hurt Shelby. And they probably already hurt Toni. "I'll try."
"You'll do better than try." With that Dot hung up.
She would do better than try.
Minutes passed like hours until finally Dot messaged her.
Dot: Just leaving Toni's. She's in bad shape but I think she could be okay by tomorrow. Get some sleep Goodkind, you might just have a presentation to crush tomorrow.
Shelby felt just some of the tension leave her body. She wished there was more she could do. She already felt like she was breaking her promise to not let Toni down because how was this, doing nothing, not letting her down?
Thoughts of ringing CPS, storming Carol's house, or packing Toni a bag to run swirled in her mind until she finally fell asleep, mere hours before she would have to start the day again.