๐๐ซ๐š๐๐š ๐˜๐—ผ๐ฎ

tha0nlymama เคฆเฅเคตเคพเคฐเคพ

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"๐™ป-๐™พ-๐š…-๐™ด, ๐š๐š˜ ๐šข๐š˜๐šž ๐š•๐š˜๐šŸ๐šŽ ๐š–๐šŽ?" เค…เคงเคฟเค•

๐˜Š๐˜ฐ๐˜ฑ๐˜บ๐˜ณ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต ๐˜—๐˜ข๐˜จ๐˜ฆ
๐๐ซ๐š๐๐š ๐˜๐—ผ๐ฎ
๐˜ก๐˜ฆ๐˜ณ๐˜ฐ
๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ
๐˜š๐˜ช๐˜น
๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜Œ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต
๐˜•๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜Œ๐˜ญ๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ญ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜š๐˜ช๐˜น๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๏ฟผ๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜Œ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜•๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ๐˜ต๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ช๐˜น
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜Œ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต
๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜•๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ช๐˜น
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜Œ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต
๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜•๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ถ๐˜ณ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ท๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ช๐˜น
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜š๐˜ฆ๐˜ท๐˜ฆ๐˜ฏ
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜Œ๐˜ช๐˜จ๐˜ฉ๐˜ต
๐˜๐˜ฐ๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜•๐˜ช๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜บ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜–๐˜ฏ๐˜ฆ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ธ๐˜ฐ
๐˜๐˜ช๐˜ง๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ
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๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ช๐˜ณ๐˜ต๐˜บ-๐˜›๐˜ฉ๐˜ณ๐˜ฆ๐˜ฆ

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tha0nlymama เคฆเฅเคตเคพเคฐเคพ

𝐃𝐮𝐫𝐡𝐚𝗺, 𝐍𝗼𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝗼𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐚

I sat on the side of my mother as I glanced over at her seeing she was eating a salad along with my grandma.

We were over at my grandmother's house because she said that she didn't want to be stuck in the house, I didn't either so I decided to come over and sit with her as we kept my grandmother company.

I leaned my head against the head of the couch and rested my body as I watched TV.

"Euphoria, you want the remote baby?" I heard my grandmother ask, I smiled and looked over at her. "Here, change to something you like"

I stood up from my seat and reached over towards my grandmother grabbing the remote, I sat down as I went to the guide and began searching through the different channels. I continued searching before I came across Sparkle and clicked on it.

"Whitney on here, ain't she?" My mother asked, I nodded. "I thought she was"

I sat there as I continued watching Sparkle until it went on commercial and pulled out my phone going to Wattpad. I clicked on a book and began reading it until I found something that I didn't like and exited out of the book. I searched for more books under urban and black love but it seemed as if there weren't that many books so I just decided to exited out of the app itself.

I opened TikTok and scrolled for like five minutes to which seemed like thirty, I scrolled until I finally got tired of watching videos and went to my messages. I looked seeing there was an text from the group chat and Paris. I opened Paris's and I thread first reading what'd he texted.

𝐋𝐞𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬❤️

Whatchu' getting into?

                       Nothing, I'm at my nana's house

Y'all chilling?

Yeah, we're watching tv

See me a picture of you
I wanna see yo face

But I look ugly right now☹️

You too beautiful ta' look ugly

I don't have any lashes or lipgloss on
See

Ohhh so you all natural today huh
You so pretty 😍😍
I like you bare face

     Thank you papa😘

😘

What are you doing?

Working making money

Do you think I will be able to see you today?

Idk rn mama I'm tightened up

Okay

Don't be mad

I'm not, I understand
Be safe please❤️

Fasho❤️ always
I'ma get back ta' you aight

Okay

I exited out of our thread going into the group chat.

𝐓𝐡𝐚𝐁𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐳💕

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
You guys!!!
I have an announcement

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚🧚🏽‍♀️
What's wrong

                                                               What is it?

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
Heyyy👋🏾
I miss y'all 😫

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚🧚🏽‍♀️
Girl I thought it was something serious

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
It is...I'm bored and tired
I gotta do all these orders before 3 and I got two setups to do

                                        What are you making?

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
Oreos, candy apples, cake pops and rice crispy treats

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚🧚🏽‍♀️
Damn sis that's a lot
Make that money pooh

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
Ik but shit is hectic fr
I'm bout to stop doing them

Oh well that's okay

𝐒𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚🧚🏽‍♀️
Well if you stop doing me...Can you make me rice crispy treats & oreos?
🥺🥺🥺

𝐌𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐢🧚🏾
Bitch bye

I shook my head and shut off my phone once I heard movement, I glanced up seeing my mother getting up from her seat walking away.

"You alright baby?" My grandmother asked, my mother nodded.

"Yeah mama, I just gotta use the bathroom" my mother responded waddling down the hall.

"That baby gone wear her out" My grandmother said, I nodded. I looked over at her thought my peripheral seeing she was beginning to stand up, I eyed her for another second as she failed and tried another time to stand up making me quickly get up from my seat.

"You got it nana?" I asked reaching my hands out as she kept trying to stand up.

"I got it baby" My grandmother said halfway standing up.

"Here, grab onto my hands" I said, she grabbed onto my hands and finally stood up.

"Mama, what you doing?" My mother asked walking back inside the living room, she placed her hands on her hips and stood there while she eyed her.

"I was going to go refill my cup" my grandmother said, my mother smacked her lips.

"Okay and you could've just told me or Euphoria to get it" my mother said, I nodded. "You wanna be extra and get up knowing how your back get sometimes"

"Well, I still know how to walk. I'm not handicapped Grace, I'm my own person who has all her abilities" my grandmother fussed, my mother shook her head. She smiled while my grandmother eyed her as she walked passed her going into the kitchen.

"Well, why you getting mad ma?" My mother asked laughing. "We just wanna help"

"I don't need help..."My grandmother yelled. "Especially not from you when you're pregnant"

I walked back over to the couch sitting back down, I sat there eyeing my mother as she laughed while we both listened to my grandmother going back in forth.

"Me being pregnant does not got anything to do with me helping you Shirley" My mother said.

"And why doesn't it Grace?" My grandmother asked, my mother sighed. "You and I both know the doctors told you to limit work and stuff to do so your energy levels are okay"

"I know that mama but still, there's stuff around here that needs to get done that I know I'm capable of doing. I don't want you doing anything to make you more—Grace, don't do that" my grandmother said cutting her as she walked back inside the living room, she eyed her as she flopped down on the couch.

"Mama"

"No, I'm okay. You worry about getting my grand baby here, I'm fine..." my grandmother said sipping from her cup. "I'm still here. God still has me here, I'm okay baby"

I knew that it was hitting my mother more than it was hitting me that my grandmother was sick. It was like she's been trying to find something to fill that space in her mind that filled that thought of my grandmother being sick either it was doing things around the house or just doing little things with me but I felt like she needed to try to at least not think about it and the worst.

She was now seven going on eight months with the baby and it was clear that she was becoming more tired. Along with carrying a baby to trying to make sure everything with fine with my grandmother and the continuous problems with Kareem—that'd seemed to not get better by the day, she was stressing and I could tell.

Even though she was, I couldn't blame her for being more worried and overprotective over my grandmother. She was sick now and she needed someone to be there for her as much as she was for everyone else. It was understandable for her being that way because I was feeling the exact same but for the both of them.

My mother and grandmother handled their situation pretty much the same which I come to a conclusion of me doing the same. We would say everything was fine but we really knew that it wasn't. We would just slowly take the days after days by preparing for the worst and the good until it was final for something to happen.

I sat there eyeing between both my grandmother and mother as they sat there watching TV. My grandmother sipped on her drink and my mother sat there on her dozing off, I continued looking and smiled at them both admiring them before my grandmother looked at me.

"Don't you worry either baby" she said smiling, I smiled. "Grandma's going to be okay"

I knew that she'd just told me that because I was quiet as usual whenever I was in thought. She knew what I was thinking because she was thinking about it too but choosing not to say anything—I just nodded and filled my head with anything other than negativity.

•••

I was now home sitting on my bed watching Manifest and eating ice cream, I was very tuned in trying to figure out what was going on so far into the series.

"I don't understand—like, omg" I said turning the filled spoon of ice cream backwards before licking it. "This is crazy"

I continued watching it before I suddenly got hungry, I looked down seeing I was about finished with my bowl of ice cream. I huffed grabbing the remote before I paused the TV and stood up from the bed, I slipped my feet into my bear slippers and wiggled them as I admired them.

So cute

I grabbed the bowl along with my phone and walked out my room, I walked downstairs making my way into the kitchen. I flicked the light on and walked towards the sink placing my bowl down before I went towards the refrigerator opening it.

I looked and searched for anything that was able to be cooked but frowned once I seen that there wasn't anything. I opened the freezer looking inside seeing there was many frozen foods and meats, I stood there looking inside as I tried debating if I was going to cook.

I wouldn't say that it was a long time but it was a while since my mother cooked a home cooked meal because we would always go over to my grandmother's house or we would just grab something from a restaurant.

It was clear that my mother wasn't probably in the state of wanting to cook because she was tired along with it just being her and I in the house because Kareem was out working.

I nodded my head coming to an agreement that I was going my to cook before I started grabbing and placing out ingredients. I wasn't going to cook that much but I did want to cook something because I knew my mother would be hungry like I was and I didn't want her getting up knowing she was tired.

After realizing that'd she been under a lot of stress lately, I just wanted to do something nice to maybe get her mind off some things. I would say that this was something that I was going to do for her to show her how much I appreciated her as a mother and a person.

I decided on making something quick such as Shrimp Scampi, it was one of my favorite pastas besides Cajun Alfredo and it was something that I found myself beginning to master at.

I moved around the kitchen as I washed my hand and began preparing tools, I grabbed my phone unlocking it before I opened my music app. I scrolled through the different playlist and quickly clicked on it turning the volume up on my phone making sure it wasn't too loud.

Gotta get it right
I gotta get it right, yeah

You say, you say
You say, you say
You say, you say
You wanna search in this body of mine?
Do you wanna be a good friend of me?
Why won't you pour up that Hennessy?
Light up a few blunts and we could get high
No need to rush, but take your time

I swiftly began moving at my own pace as I started cooking while I silently sung along with the music.

"I know it's been too long, I've been on the road too much..." I sung lowly, I washed off and cleaned the shrimps before I began seasoning them while I placed a pot of water on the stove waiting for it to bowl. "No need to rush but take you timeee"

I opened a stick of butter placing it in the empty pan on the stove and waited until it halfway melted before I placed the shrimps in, I stirred them along with taking turns between them and the noddles. I continued doing this routine until I checked the noddles seeing they were done, I turned them off and drained them sitting them aside as I focused on the shrimp along with the sauce.

"I think I met the right nigga, he tell me what it is yeah..." I sung smiling as I chopped some fresh garlic throwing it in the pan with the shrimp. "I think I met a trill nigga, he handling his business"

As he should

I heard the backdoor tremble making me look over before the announcer went off, I looked at Kareem as he walked in shutting the door.

"Whattt" he dragged out looking over at me. "Lil bit cooking it up?"

I chuckled and smiled as I nodded my head.

"It smell good in here" he said, I wrapped my arm around him as he pulled me into a hug. "Whatchu' cooking up?"

"Shrimp Scampi" I answered, he nodded as he looked in the pan.

"You cook enough for me?" He joked, I eyed him and nodded.

"How was you and ya mama's day?" Kareem asked washing his hands. "She been aight?"

"Yeah..." I said. "She's been okay as far as I know but I know she's kinda of tired so she's probably sleeping right now"

Kareem nodded. "How's your grandmama?"

I shrugged.

"She's okay..." I said, he nodded.

"Well alright, I'ma go wash up and get ya mama so we can eat" Kareem said, I nodded. I turned back checking on the shrimps as I stirred them before I turned them off seeing they were finished.

I finished cooking as I mixed everything together in the garlic sauce and topped it off with some fresh lemon. I grabbed a few plates along with some folks and portioned out the food onto them before I grabbed some water bottles from the refrigerator. 

I grabbed my phone turning off the music  as I made my way towards my mother and Kareem's room, I knocked on the door standing there holding onto their plates as I waited patiently for them to open the door before it did revealing my mother.

"What's wrong baby?" She asked rubbing her eyes, I eyed her seeing that she must've just woken up and shook my head.

"I made you dinner" I said handing out the plates, she smiled. "I know that you'll been having a lot on your plate lately so I wanted to do something nice for you, it's not much but I just wanted you to be able not worry about cooking or anything"

"Aww, baby" My mother cooed, I smiled. "Is this scampi?"

I nodded. "Ooh, my baby know how to cook cook huh?"

"Yeah..." I said smiling, I watched as she grabbed the plates and handled her the water bottles.

"Thank you Amour, I really appreciate it" My mother said, I nodded. "I love you, come here"

"I love you too" I said wrapping my arms around her as she pulled me into a hug kissing me on the forehead. "I'm going to go now, back to my room and eat. It's more on the stove if you guys want more"

My mother nodded. "Thank you baby" she said, I nodded.

"Get some rest please" I said.

"I will" she said, I turned around making my way into the kitchen. I cleaned and fixed up mostly of what I used before I grabbed my plate along with an Cranberry juice. I walked upstairs to my room closing the door and on my bed stirring my food before I grabbed the remote unpausing the TV.

I began eating as I continued watching the show, I looked down once I heard my phone ringing and eyed it seeing Paris was FaceTiming me. I smiled and propped my phone up as I answered it.

"Hey mommy" Paris spoke once it connected.

"Hi Papa" I said looking down at the screen waving as I covered my mouth while I chewed.

"Whatchu' doing?" He asked, I shook my head.

"I'm watching TV while I eat" I said, I glanced up and down between the phone as I heard Paris moving.

"Whatchu' watching?" He asked. "I know you not watching da' Chi"

I shook my head.

"You watching da' Chi without me?" He asked.

"No, I'm watching Manifest" I responded taking another bite, I sat there chewing as I focused back on the TV. I looked down at my phone as it got quiet seeing Paris was looking at me before began taking screenshots of me.

"What are you doing?" I asked smiling, I watched as he moved letting the phone focus on the ceiling before he appeared on the screen. I eyed him seeing he was laying down bare chest with only him wearing his chains as he smoked.

"I'm looking at you" he said releasing smoke from his mouth. "How yo day was?"

"It was fine" I said as I continued eating covering my mouth. "How about yours?"

"Shii, da' regular. I missed you though, ian' seen yo ass all day" Paris said, I smiled as I slurped some noddles. "Yo, you fat"

I paused and stopped eating as I looked at him while he grinned. "Paris, leave me alone"

"I'm messing wit' you mama" he said, I slightly rolled my eyes. "Not you rolling yo eyes"

"So" I said shrugging, I finished off eating as I slide my plate to the side grabbing my cranberry juice. I opened it and took a sip. "That's so good"

"Mhm" Paris hummed.We continued to talk as I sat there watching TV and as he laid there looking at me while he smoked.

"I DON'T GAF KAREEM!" I heard, I snapped my head towards the door as I grabbed my remote pausing the TV.

"Whatchu' doing?" I heard Paris asked.

"Hold on" I said, I quietly stood up from my bed and slightly cracked my door as I stood there hearing yelling.

"Grace, keep yo voice down. We right here, ain't no need for you to be doing all that yelling. You know Euphoria right upstairs" I heard Kareem's voice say.

"NO BECAUSE IT'S ALWAYS SOMETHING WITH YOU AND I'M TIRED OF IT!" My mother yelled, I furrowed my eyebrows as I continued listening to them go back and forth before I heard a loud bang making me quickly run out my room to downstairs.

"YOU SAY YOU DOING THIS AND YOU DOINN THAT BUT YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHERE YOU WORK, I GOTTA HEAR THAT SHIT FROM SOMEBODY ELSE!" I walked inside the living room looking around seeing what had happened. There were vase and pictures that was thrown off the wall onto the floor shattered. I looked further into the living room where I seen my mother standing along with Kareem.

"Grace, I'm not finna do this with you" Kareem said shaking his head. "You need to calm down because you and I both know, you mad as hell right now gone affect my baby"

"Your baby!?" My mother asked. "Your baby that I'm fucking carrying while I sit home in this damn house worrying about where tf you be at because you won't tell me shit!"

"What don't I tell you Grace? Huh?" Kareem asked, I felt my breathing hitched as I seen him walking forward towards her before she pushed him.

"WHAT DON'T YOU FUCKING TELL ME KAREEM!? BECAUSE IF ANYTHING YOU DON'T TELL ME SHIT!" My mother yelled pointing in his face making him do the same.

"I'ma tell you one more time to keep yo voice down Grace, this ain't even got to be no fucking subject for you to be getting out of character for. If you wanna talk, we can do that but you ain't finna put yo hands on me" Kareem spoke as he stood in front of my mother.

"No, because this some bullshit" I heard my mother say, I felt tears building up in my eyes as I heard her beginning to cry. "You don't never discuss shit with me, I be home by my fucking self because of you. You made me quit my job just so you can be out working and doing only God knows what while I'm here stuck with shit to do"

Kareem smacked his lips and walked off.

"That shit ain't fair to me Kareem, I have to work and provide for my children and my mother. You say you work but come home late without even letting me know where you are most the time. This is becoming the same fucking routine with you and I'm tired of it" My mother cried. "We argue and you buy and supply me with gifts that's coming from shit loads of money—that I don't even know where it's coming from because you won't tell me. I have to find out from fucking people who knows me telling me I have a husband that's selling fucking drugs and shit"

"Grace"

"NO, I HAVE A FUCKING DAUGHTER THAT'S AROUND YOU! I'M CARRYING OUR FUCKING DAUGHTER KAREEM!" My mother yelled. "WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THAT YOU WERE FUCKING DEALING KNOWING I HAVE FUCKING CHILDREN!?"

"Mommy..." I called out trying to get her attention but failed as she continued yelling. "Mommy!"

Kareem looked over at me and shook his head as he rubbed a hand down his face. "Euphoria, please go back upstairs"

"DON'T TELL MY DAUGHTER SHIT! DON'T SIT UP HERE AND SAY SHIT TO HER WHEN YOU CAN'T EVEN DO YOUR FUCKING JOB AS A HUSBAND AND DISCUSS SHIT WITH ME!"

"Grace, I know I should've told you an—DON'T YOU THINK TO EVER TELL ME AS YOUR FUCKING WIFE!?" My mother asked cutting him off.

"CAN YOU STOP FUCKING CUTTING ME OFF!?" I jumped from the bass that left Kareem's mouth making me tremble while I stood there.

I felt hotness wash over me as tears rolled down my face, I quickly turned around not wanting to hear anymore as I made my way back into my room. I closed the door and sat on my bed as I felt myself beginning to break down.

I didn't know if it was from the yelling or fussing that was driving me nearly insane but my anxiety made me not wanna be here. I couldn't stay here knowing that this was something that probably was going to repeat itself.

I didn't want it too.

I tried controlling my breathing as it got heavy while flashbacks of my mother and father arguing while I stood there watching them took over my mind, I jumped as I heard another bang.

"GET TF OUT!" I heard my mother yelled.

"Mama..." I heard a voice call out, I looked around trying to see who it was but couldn't because of blurriness from the tears in my eyes. "Mama, you good?"

Paris

"P-Paris" I called out, I breathed in and out as I tried calming myself.

"What's wrong baby?" I heard Paris ask followed by movement. "Huh, tell me what's wrong"

"M-my m-m-ma—Hold on, aye calm down" Paris said cutting me off, I sniffed. I wiped my face trying my best to stop from crying but tears continued rolling down my face making me extremely annoyed.

"Omggg—like why—Ugh"

"You gotta calm down mama" Paris said, I dropped my hands. "You having ah' anxiety attack?"

"I-I don't know, I can't c-calm d-down" I cried covering my face. "He's going to hurt my mama, he can't hurt her. She's pregnant"

"Shit, aight listen ta' me okay" Paris said, I sniffed as I took a deep breath. "Just listen ta' me, I need you ta' focus on something else. It don't matter what it is, just focus on something dat' usually calm you down. I'm on my way ta' you"

I rubbed my eyes and wiped my face as tears continued rolling down while I tried thinking of something that usually calmed me down. I thought about many things that included my thoughts and memories that clouded my mind.

My mother

My grandmother

Painting

Animals

Kingston

My friends

Paris

I continued thinking of these things as I felt myself beginning to calm down, I wiped my face and closed my eyes as tears slowly began stopping itself from falling.

"You there?" I heard Paris ask.

"Yes" I said lowly as I continued trying to take control of my breathing.

"Good aight, now take three deep breaths" I breathed in and out doing as told as Paris continued talking. "You got it now, breathe in and let dat' shit go"

"You good? Can you tell me where you at?" He asked, I nodded my head as I opened my eyes and uncovered my face. "Tell what's in yo room mama"

"My TV" I said.

"Yeah, keep going"

"My bed, my dresser, my slippers and my phone" I said grabbing my phone.

"Aight, I'm almost there. Just give me five more minutes" Paris said, I slowly nodded. I laid down on my bed hugging my pillow as I focused my attention my how I breathed, I looked and stared forward as I felt tears rolling down my face.

"Paris" I called out wiping my face. "I keep crying like I can't stop"

"I know mama but I'm here okay, I'm pulling in right now" I heard him say, I quickly glanced over at my window.

"Okay" I said lowly before the phone hung up. I laid there waiting patiently as I closed my eyes and rubbed my feet against my cover, I sniffed wiping my face and buried myself more into my pillow. Minutes later I opened my eyes as I heard a knock at my door before it opened revealing Paris, I sat up on my bed as he walked towards my and stood in front of me.

"What's wrong?" He asked looking at me as he wrapped his arms around me pulling closer towards him. I did the same and buried my face into his neck as he rubbed my back. "You good?"

I shook my head, he sighed as he wiped my face.

"Wait, hold on" Paris said, I sat back and watched as he slipped out his slides along with his shirt before he pulled the covers back on my bed. He got in and laid down as he pulled me on top of him. I sniffed as I laid onto his chest burying my face in the crook of his neck while he lifted me up from the back of my thighs.

"Where is my mama?" I asked lowly.

"She in ha' room" Paris said, I laid there staring ahead as I began counting the times I felt him rub up my back.

"How did you get in?" I asked.

"I walked in" he said, I looked up at him. "What?"

I shook my head as he looked down at me.

"What's on yo mind?" He asked pecking my check. "You wanna tell me why you had ah' anxiety attack?"

"My mama and Kareem" I answered closing my eyes before I snuggled resting my body against him.

"They was fussing?" He asked, I nodded.

Silence took over as we laid there, I tried resting my muscles as Paris rubbed his hands throughout my body. I silently appreciate him as I felt myself beginning to get tired but fought against it as my mind drifted back off to my mother.

"I just wanna break..." I said feeling hotness of tears roll down my face, I reached up and wiped my face as Paris lifted me up before he began kissing my face.

I felt like there were many of chances for me to always be happy and not become my old self again but those chances were running out. I didn't know if it was all in a plan or if it was just not meant for me to be happy but I knew that every time I found myself beginning to take a step forward—something would knock me back.

And it was too much.

I just wanted everything and everyone to be okay without feeling like I was being sunken in by something that was so weak.

I wanted to be happy but it felt like there wasn't a chance for me to be.







        𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐘-𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄
_______________________________

•••
-𝙰𝚗𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝𝚜?

-𝙼𝚊𝚖𝚊 𝚂𝚑𝚒𝚛𝚕𝚎𝚢 𝚒𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚝𝚛𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚘 𝚔𝚎𝚎𝚙 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚘𝚏𝚏 𝚘𝚏 𝚎𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢𝚘𝚗𝚎.

-𝙴𝚞𝚙𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚒𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚡𝚒𝚎𝚝𝚢 𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖 𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚌𝚊𝚞𝚐𝚑𝚝 𝚞𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝙶𝚛𝚊𝚌𝚎 & 𝙺𝚊𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚖'𝚜 𝚊𝚛𝚐𝚞𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝.

𝙸'𝚖 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚜𝚘 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚐𝚞𝚢𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚗'𝚝 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝙸 𝚊𝚖.

𝙱𝚞𝚝 𝙸 𝚍𝚘 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍 𝚊 𝚕𝚒𝚕 𝚑𝚎𝚕𝚙...𝚜𝚘 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝  𝚜𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚛𝚢𝚕𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚜 𝚍𝚘𝚠𝚗.

𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚌𝚘𝚗𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚞𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚟𝚘𝚝𝚎 & 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝!!
𝙱𝚢𝚎 𝚏𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚗𝚍𝚜🤎!!!

เคชเคขเคผเคจเคพ เคœเคพเคฐเฅ€ เคฐเค–เฅ‡เค‚

เค†เคชเค•เฅ‹ เคฏเฅ‡ เคญเฅ€ เคชเคธเค‚เคฆเฅ‡ เค†เคเคเค—เฅ€

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