Mr. Incredible: Is this on?
Interviewer: That's fine.
Mr. Incredible: I can break through walls, I just can't...
Interviewer: That's fine.
Mr. Incredible: I can't get this on.
Interviewer: So, Mr. Incredible... do you have a secret identity?
Mr. Incredible: Every superhero has a secret identity. I don't know a single one who doesn't. Who wants the pressure of being super all the time?
Elastigirl: Of course I have a secret identity. Can you see me in this at the supermarket? Come on. Who'd want to go shopping as Elastigirl, y'know what I mean?
Frozone: Superladies, they're always trying to tell you their secret identity. Think it'll strengthen the relationship or something like that. I said, "Girl, I don't want to know about your mild-mannered alter ego." or anything like that. I mean, you tell me you're a super-mega-ultra-lightning-babe, that's all right with me. I'm good. I'm good.
Mr. Incredible: No matter how many times you save the world, it always manages to get back in jeopardy again. Sometimes I just want it to stay saved, you know? For a little bit. I feel like the maid. I just cleaned up this mess. Can we keep it clean for ten minutes?!
Interviewer: I could get to that point.
Mr. Incredible: Please?
Interviewer: Wait, no, don't get up. We're not finished.
Mr. Incredible: Sometimes l think I'd just like the simple life, you know? Relax a little and raise a family.
Elastigirl: Settle down? Are you kidding? I'm at the top of my game! I'm right up there with the big dogs! Girls, come on. Leave the saving of the world to the men? I don't think so! I don't think so.
Scene 2: Mr. Incredible
Police Radio: We interrupt for an important bulletin. A deadly high-speed pursuit between police and armed gunmen is underway, traveling northbound on San Pablo Ave.
Mr. Incredible: Yeah, I've got time.
Old Lady: Mr. Incredible. Um, Mr. Incredible...
Mr. Incredible: What is it, ma'am?
Old Lady: My cat, Squeaker, won't come down.
(cat meows.)
Mr. Incredible: Certainly, ma'am but I suggest you stand clear. There could be trouble.
Old Lady: No, no. He's quite tame.
Mr. Incredible: Let go now!
(cat yowls.)
Police Officer 1: Thank you, Mr. Incredible. You've done it again.
Police Officer 2: Yeah, you're the best.
Mr. Incredible: No, I'm just here to help.
Police Radio: Attention all units. We have a tour bus robbery...
Mr. Incredible: Tour bus robbery. I've still got time. Officers. Ma'am. Squeaker.
(Mr. Incredible gets into his car.)
Incrediboy: Cool! Ready for take-off!
Mr. Incredible: What the...? Who are you supposed to be?
Incrediboy: Well, I'm IncrediBoy.
Mr. Incredible: What? No. You're that kid from the fan club. [stammering] Brophy. Brody. Buddy! Buddy!
Incrediboy: My name is IncrediBoy.
Mr. Incredible: Look, I've been nice, I've stood for photos, signed every scrap of paper you pushed at me but this is...
Incrediboy: No, you don't have to worry about training me. I know all your moves, your crime fighting style, favorite catch phrases, everything! I'm your number one fan!
[Mr. Incredible kicks him out of the car and accelerates.]
Incrediboy: Hey! Hey, wait!
Scene 3: Elastigirl / Frozone / IncrediBoy
Mr. Incredible: You know... you can tell a lot about a woman by the contents of her purse, but maybe that's not what you had in mind.
Thief: Hey, look- (he gets knocked out by a hand)
Mr. Incredible: Elastigirl.
Elastigirl: Mr. lncredible.
Mr. Incredible: No, it's all right. I've got him.
Elastigirl: Sure, you've got him. I just took him out for you.
Mr. Incredible: Sure, you took him out. His attention was on me.
Elastigirl: A fact I exploited to do my job.
Mr. Incredible: My job, you mean.
Elastigirl: A simple thank you will suffice.
Mr. Incredible: Thanks, but I don't need any help.
Elastigirl: Whatever happened to "ladies first"?
Mr. Incredible: Well, whatever happened to equal treatment?
Thief: Hey, look, the lady got me first....(Ironically, he gets knocked out again by Elastigirl.)
Elastigirl: Well, we could share, you know.
Mr. Incredible: I work alone.
Elastigirl: Well, I think you need to be more... flexible.
Mr. Incredible: Are you doing anything later?
Elastigirl: I have a previous engagement.
Mr. Incredible: [whistles]
[Later, Mr. Incredible handcuffs a thief]
Mr. Incredible: Now, you just stay here. They usually pick up the garbage in an hour.
Frozone: Hey, Incredible!
Mr. Incredible: Hey, Frozone!
Frozone: Shouldn't you be getting ready?
Mr. Incredible: I still got time.
[crowd screaming]
Woman: He's gonna jump!
[Mr. Incredible then watches Sansweet jump down, with the croud's screaming magnified. He runs forward, and catches him just in time as he runs into the building.]
Sansweet: I think you broke something.
Mr. Incredible: With counseling, I think you'll come to forgive me. Wait a minute.
[He drags him to safety, and hears noises from the wall. He takes cover with the Seal Door, as a bomb explodes, leaving smoke and a hole in the wall. Bomb Voyage emerges from the hole.]
Mr. Incredible: [coughing] Bomb Voyage!
Bomb Voyage: Monsieur Incroyable! (Mr. Incredible)!
Incrediboy: And IncrediBoy!
Bomb Voyage: IncrediBoy?
Incrediboy: Hey, hey! Aren't you curious about how I get around so fast? See? I have these rocket boots--
Mr. Incredible: Go home, Buddy.
Incrediboy: What?
Mr. Incredible: Now.
Bomb Voyage: Petit mufle va! (Little oaf)!
Incrediboy: Can we talk? You always say be true to yourself, but you
never say which part of yourself to be true to. Well, I've finally figured out who I am. I am your ward... IncrediBoy!
Mr. Incredible: And now, you have officially carried it too far, Buddy.
Incrediboy: This is because I don't have powers, isn't it? Well not every superhero has powers, you know. You can be super without them. I invented these. I can fly. Can you fly?
Mr. Incredible: Fly home, Buddy. I work alone.
Bomb Voyage: Oui et ta tenue est complètement ridicule! (And your outfit is totally ridiculous!)
Incrediboy: Just give me one chance! I'll show you. I'll go get the police.
Mr. Incredible: Buddy, don't!
Incrediboy: It'll only take a second, really.
Mr. Incredible: No, stop! There's a bomb!
Incrediboy: Let go! You're wrecking my flight pattern! I can do this if
you let go!
Mr. Incredible: Will you just...? I'm trying to help! Stop!
Incrediboy: Let go of my cape!
[He does, as the bomb drops onto a train track below. It then explodes, destroying a huge chunk of the bridge. A train was approaching, and Mr. Incredible runs forward to it, stops, and lets the train hit his hands. The train does, as the passengers brutally get thrown forward, and the train slowly comes to a halt, almost falling down the bridge.]
Scene 4: IncrediBoy is Going Home
Mr. Incredible: Take this one home. And make sure his mom knows what he's been doing.
Incrediboy: I can help you. You're making a mista- hey!
Mr. Incredible: The injured jumper. You sent paramedics?
Police Officer: They've already picked him up.
Mr. Incredible: The blast in that building was caused by Bomb Voyage who I caught in the act robbing the vault. Now, we might be able to nab him if we set up a perimeter.
Police Officer: You mean he got away?
Mr. Incredible: Well, yeah. Skippy here made sure of that.
Incrediboy: Incrediboy!
Mr. Incredible: You're not affiliated with me! Holy smokes, I'm late. Listen, I've gotta be somewhere.
Police Officer: What about Bomb Voyage?
Mr. Incredible: Any other night, I'd go after him myself, but I really gotta go. But don't worry. We'll get him! Eventually!
Scene 5: The Wedding
Bob: Is the night still young?
Lucius: You're very late.
Bob: How do I look? Good?
Lucius: Oh, the mask! You still got the mask. (He takes Bob's mask off.)
[cracks neck]
Bob: Showtime. (He proceeds to enter the church.)
Priest: Robert Parr, will you have this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?
Helen: You're late. When you asked me if I was doing anything later, I didn't realize you'd actually forgotten. I thought it was playful banter.
Bob: It was playful banter.
Helen: Cutting it kinda close, don't you think?
Bob: You need to be more...flexible.
Helen: I love you, but if we're gonna make this work, you've gotta be more than Mr. Incredible. You know that. Don't you?
Priest: ...so long as you both shall live?
Bob: I do.
Priest: I pronounce this couple husband and wife.
[They kiss, as people are cheering and whistling. Gazerbeam, Stratogale, Dynaguy, Meta Man, Thunderhead, E and Rick Dicker can be seen for a few seconds clapping.]
Helen: As long as we both shall live. No matter what happens.
Bob: Hey, come on. We're superheroes. What could happen?
[The screen switches to a news flash.]
Announcer: In a stunning turn of events, a superhero is being sued for saving someone who, apparently, didn't want to be saved. The plaintiff, Oliver Sansweet, who was foiled in his attempted suicide by Mr. Incredible, has filed a suit against the famed superhero in Superior Court.
Sansweet's Lawyer: Mr. Sansweet didn't ask to be saved, Mr. Sansweet didn't want to be saved! And the injury received from Mr. Incredible's "action", so quote, causes him daily pain!
Mr. Incredible: Hey, I saved your life!
Sansweet: You didn't save my life, you ruined my death! That's what you did...!
Mr. Incredible: Listen, you little [interrupted by his lawyer] piece of....
Mr. Incredible's Lawyer: My client has no further comment at this time.
Announcer: Five days later, another suit was filed by victims of the el train accident. Mr. Incredible's court losses costed the government millions, and opened the flood gates for dozens of superhero lawsuits the world over.
Judge: It is time for their secret identities to become their only identity. Time for them to join us, or go away!
Announcer: Under tremendous public pressure, and the crushing financial burden of an ever mounting series of lawsuits, the government quietly initiated the superhero relocation program. The supers will be granted amnesty from responsibility for past actions, in exchange for the promise to never again resume hero work.
Announcer: Where are they now?
Announcer: They are living among us. Average citizens, average heroes. Quietly and anonymously continuing to make the world a better place.
THE HEROES THAT WE KNOW ARE ON THE UNDERGROUND NOW.