"Come on Raj, we can work this out. Atleast for Ritu.", pleaded Ramya.
"I've had enough now. I don't think I can bear this anymore. This requires a solution......probably a legal one."
"Think about Ritu."
"Did you think about her, when you made this mess?"
Ramya had no answer to that. He was right. She never gave a thought about her daughter.
"It's getting late Ramya. We both need to go to work.", Raj walked out carrying his laptop bag.
OLD BLOOMS HOME FOR ELDER WOMEN
"Ladies, today we have a special woman with us to talk about 'HAPPINESS IN OLD TIMES'. She plays a wife, a mother and a social activist in life. Please welcome Ramya." Raji, who was in charge of the home,welcomed the speaker.
"Hello ladies, I'm Ramya and it feels really wonderful to meet you all. As you all know why I'm here, we'll straight away dive into the topic. So, tell me, when was the last time you were actually happy?", Ramya started her speech and engaged the audience with her witty and warm words.
About half hour later, the elderly women applauded Ramya for making them feel like they were teenagers again. "Age is just a number ma. All that matters is how you feel about yourself. Also, did I tell you that you look gorgeous when you blush?", she bantered with an elder woman named Rani, making the audience laugh heartily.
"Ramya, she must've remembered her first love. See, how hard she's fighting not to blush", another elderly woman named Radha spoke.
"First love huh? Seems like there are so many untold love stories here because I can see so many women blush now. So, let's talk about that."
"Uh, Ramya.....it's almost lunch time. Shall we continue the session post lunch?", Raji asked and Ramya nodded with a smile.
Ramya was busy on her phone, squinting her eyes to interpret what the message said. She dialled a number quickly and placed the phone on her ear, waiting for the receiver to pick up.
"Please try to understand me. I can't ask my parents and you know exactly why. One last time Raj please....I promise I'll go tomorrow. Please pick Ritu from school for today alone.", she requested her husband.
"I expected it to happen anyway. I'll pick Ritu."he said coldly.
"Thanks Raj. I promise this won't happen again. Going forward, I'll reschedule my work according to Ritu's school time."
"I don't trust your words Ramya. I have work. Talk to you later.", Raj hung up. Ramya sat on the park bench, with Raj's words ringing on her mind.
"The one who made us happy, is now sporting a long face.", Rani said sitting next to Ramya.
"Uh....it's nothing ma. Just a small family trouble."
"Doesn't seem small to me. Love marriage?"
"How did you find out?"
"Just a hunch. Overheard your conversation."
"I'm failing badly at this work-life balance game, I don't know what to do.", Ramya said sadly.
"Then find out where you lack.", Radha said as she walked towards Ramya.
"I don't know where I lack. I tried finding it out by myself, but I couldn't."
"Then ask him. If you don't know what your fault is, it's better to know that from him.", Rani said.
"Yes Ramya, Rani is right. Ask him."
Ramya smiled softly and said,"Thanks to the both of you, for your motherly advice. Now shall we go and continue our session? I was not paid to sit here."
The audience had gathered at the spot and the session continued.
"Every woman was a girl once. No matter how old she grows, the little girl in her is never lost. And love, it finds it's way into everyone's life. Ladies, We are going to do an activity.", Ramya announced. "We are going to write letters to our first love! We are going to write all those unconfessed feelings on the letter. After penning down your letter, you are going to come here and read your letter. So, are you all ready?" Ramya announced.
Everyone started writing their letters.
"Okay, I see almost everyone done with their letter. Let's have one by one coming on the dais and read their letter. Let's start, shall we?", Ramya called a woman to come to the dais and read out her letter.
Many women read out their letters with free flowing tears, some read out with a shy smile on their face, while some had a hearty laugh reminiscing their young adulthood. "Okay, we have only 2 letters left now. Radha ma, please come here and read out your letter.", Ramya called.
"To
The man I loved,
My dear Ranga,
I distinctly remember the day you held my hand, the day which can never be forgotten. I still get butterflies whenever that sweet memory crosses my mind. I have never said this to you, but I wanted to appreciate you for what you had accomplished, but, life never gave me a chance to do so. I saw you toil everyday, struggle every minute, but all I did was hide like a coward. I thought fate was the problem between us, turns out it was me. I pushed you away, when you needed me badly; shut all the doors that lead you to me. Fear and cowardice consumed me, unlike you, who threw away all the inhibitions and insecurities just to be with me. Though I had kept my distance, I was curious about what happened in your life. I came to know that you earned much profit in your business, and the neighbouring village's landlord wanted to give his daughter's hand in marriage. To say I was happy for you would be a lie, but I was glad in a way that finally, there was a shoulder for you to rely. I wanted to come to your wedding, to see the woman, who was destined to be with you, but seems like I had pushed you away so far, that even I couldn't reach you when I wanted to. Maybe life was upset with me, to give another chance. Ranga, all I want to say is Sorry for the pain I caused and Thank you for being my first love. I still have the lone bangle with me, which you slid on my hand when you confessed your love. You said you'll be putting the other bangle on our wedding but I didn't let that happen. I hope to meet you soon above and give my lone bangle it's pair. Till then,
With all your love,
Your Radha."
Everyone there was tearing up after Radha read out her heartfelt letter to her Ranga. "Wow Radha ma, you sure know how to get us all emotional. That was really beautiful. Rani ma, only you're left now. Please.....The dais is all yours", Ramya gestured Rani to come up.
"To,
The man I loved,
My Ramu,
The one who made me realize my womanhood, the one who taught me what True love was. You put a stop to my playfulness and made me realize how insensitive I was. You taught me how to be a human, how to live and how to love. If you hadn't taught me how to love, perhaps I would've never made you stay away from me. But you were a great teacher and maybe that is why, I stayed distant from you. When my sister asked me why I turned you down when you confessed, I said I did that because I loved you. Yes, I said no to you because I loved you so much that I never wanted to cause you trouble. You may not admit, but for a girl like me, who comes from a family of landlords, I am trouble to you. You were ready to risk it all just for me, but I didn't want to burden you.I couldn't imagine the pain you'd experience everyday when we get married. I wish we were born late, born in this generation and loved like our old times. How perfect would that be!! But fortune doesn't lay by our side. I got married to a businessman from the neighbouring village and you, I didn't know what happened to you. But I hope you had a family to love. I really need to thank Ramya. This child made me to write to you about all my feelings. Hoping to get a glimpse of you before my journey here comes to an end.
Always loving you,
Your Rani."
"Wow Rani ma, this is indeed a new dimension of love. In fact, a never spoken definition of love. Not only you Rani ma, we all hope that you see your Ramu.", Ramya wiped her tears.
The activity came to an end and the sun was already gone. Ramya was talking to Raji, when her phone buzzed.
She sank on the park bench, showing no emotion, as if someone had squeezed the life out of her. She knew she screwed up, but didn't realise the magnitude was this huge. Raj had filed for divorce. She found herself at a dead end, not knowing how to move forward.
"Ramya, what happened?", Rani asked while walking towards her.
" What I thought was a small anthill, has now become a huge mountain. I didn't realise it to be this serious. I must have hurt him so much that he has filed for divorce."
"Oh dear! Have you talked with your husband?"
"No. I don't have the courage. I have caused him so much pain, I don't think I am worthy of apology."
"Now this is what I call an absolutely wrong decision", Radha came and stood beside Rani.
"Radha ma, I have already messed up a lot. I don't want to complicate the mess and make it hard for him. I want to release him from this torture. Atleast one of us will be happy."
"You kids lack communication. A little chat would do.", Radha advised.
"I don't have the courage to face him, not after what I did to him and Ritu.", reasoned Ramya.
"Then write it out!", Radha said simply. Ramya blinked, unable to form a reply.
"To The man you loved!", said Rani. Ramya hugged the two women, smiling with tears.
"Ritu, can you pass me the bowl dear?", Raj asked.
"Sure. He it is daddy.", little Ritu carried the bowl carefully, entering into the kitchen.
Ding dong!
"Mommy is here!!!"
Ramya hugged Ritu who was waiting for her arrival. "Mommy, I have lots to say to you. Today we-"
"Ritu darling, just give me five minutes, I'll go fresh up and then you can tell me all the stories you want."
"But mom-"
"Ritu, your mom never has time for us. Don't wait for her and get disappointed later. Now come here and help me", Raj said plainly.
Ramya had put Ritu to bed and entered her bedroom. Raj was busy with his official work and stayed outside to complete it. Ramya took out her notepad, and started penning down her thoughts.
"To,
The only man I loved,
My Raj,
To be honest, I miss you. I miss us. Eventhough I don't say anything, I really do. Lack of courage to face you, makes me write. This guilt is eating me up from inside. I still remember the pain in your eyes when you said you lost your job. I started this because I didn't want you to feel burdened by us. I got caught up in the race of earning for my world. What started as a load-sharing thing, turned into an endless run, leaving behind the ones I love. I must actually thank you for applying divorce because, those papers made me realize the depth of your pain. I want to say I am sorry and I promise, if given a chance, I would make anything and everything to make this right. But I guess, I am late. Thanks for the memories and Ritu will be my favourite memory of us.
Forever loving you,
Ramya."
She tore the paper, folded it and rested it under a paperweight. The day was long and she put her weary self to sleep. Golden rays transcending through the curtains warmed her skin, making her stir in sleep. She opened her eyes slowly to find Raj smiling at her.
"Mommy!!!", Ritu came crash landing on her.
"Good morning princess", Ramya said while pulling off from the bear-hug.
"Good morning darling!", Raj said while extending his hand to wake her up.
Was she dreaming? Obviously not. She could feel his touch. She questioned herself again. Because whatever that was going on was too good to be true.
Ritu's school bus had arrived and she happily waved at her parents standing near the gate.
"Ramya, can you take an off today? I need you to come with me somewhere."
"Uh....wait let me check my schedule. Umm.....I have two appointments today....", Raj's face fell. "But I can make it to you. Where are you taking me, by the way?", she prayed it to be anything but the lawyer's office.
"Remember the place we went to when we nearly broke up?", she nodded.
"We're going there. That place always has this magic to settle things between us.", he said while picked out the letter from his pocket.
"Raj.........I am glad you understood. I am really sorry Raj."
"Silly.....come here.", he hugged her.
A week later, Ramya took her family to Old Blooms. "Raji, I want to meet Rani ma and Radha ma. Where are they?"
"Ramya.....come with me.", Raji lead the way to a prayer hall and the others followed. Ramya went pale after seeing the sight in front of her. "When did this happen Raji?"
"Less than a week. I didn't expect you to be here in person. I thought you were going to write a reply.", said Raji.
"What reply?"
"Didn't you get their Thank you letters?"
"No....."
"Ohh! You were the last person they wrote to before they...."
"Do you know what exactly was in their letters?"
"They didn't reveal much, but they said they had to thank you from the bottom of their hearts, because you eased their burden."
Later that day, Raj parked their car in the portico and made his way to check their mailbox before entering the elevator. He stepped inside his apartment, leaving his shoes near the door. "Ramya!", he called out and she peeped out of the kitchen to reply. He gestured her to come and placed two letters in her hand. Post dinner, she sat near her desk and read the two letters. Heavy emotions clouded her mind after reading the letters. "Is it from those two Ramya?", Raj asked while placing his hand on her shoulder.
She nodded, "I have never experienced this feeling before. Proud would be an understatement to say how I feel. Radha ma's lone bangle finally found it's pair. It was with Rani ma for so many years. She said that she had always felt burdened because she knew it never belonged to her, but when she knew, she felt at ease after returning it to it's owner. Also, Rani ma has finally seen her Ramu. Radha ma had Ramu's picture with her because he was her husband. After knowing Rani ma's last wish to get a glimpse of her long lost lover before she died, she managed to sneak the picture into Rani ma's closet. Can coincidence get any beautiful, Raj?", to which he nodded, smiling.
Note : I know I am not a really good writer, but this is my best effort. I hope to sharpen my skills going forward and I hope this story gets some love. Thanks!! - M